Adoption Plan

Question: what rights does the father to my unborn child have in terminating my adoption plan? Im 16 & so is the father he has no job, has a violent history, & does drugs but recently stated he no longer agreed with the Adoption Plan & refuses to think of whats best for the child. He now would like to raise my unborn son!

Answer: He can block the adoption completely. Both parents need to agree to giving up a child PERMANENTLY! You get that, right? He has thought about what's best for the child. Apparently raising his son is just that. Just because his thoughts aren't what you want doesn't mean he is refusing to think about it.

Question: should a man pay support if a adoption plan is backed out on by the women? A woman and I had a adoption plan in place. She decided to keep the baby. Should I still be made to pay? I know what the law says. I was just wondering what real people think.

Answer: Would she need your consent if she wanted an abortion? I understand everyone's answer before me but I don't think it is right that a woman can force a man to be a father. I am woman and am all for equal rights. But if him and I agree that we can not afford having a baby and we come up with an adoption plan, it is not right for me to back out at the last moment. I think at that point if I choose to keep the baby, the responsibility is mine. I think it is a crime that some women are using motherhood as a way to earn a living. Before a child is born out of wedlock, the two parents should be forced to develop a parenting plan that is approved by the court. If they decide to keep the baby, visitation and everything should be planned out. If one parent wants adoption and the other doesn't, the one wanting to keep the child then is responsible. This parent should not be able to make the tax payers pay for this either. They wanted the child, they should provide for the child. If neither parent can pay to support the child, then the baby should go up for adoption. That is in the best interest of the child. Having parents that can financially support and want a child I am sure is a much better environment for the child.

Question: Is anyone pregnant and considering an adoption plan? I am a Canadian, adoptive Mom of a four year old boy. I am hoping to adopt again and am wondering if women choosing to make an adoption plan for their baby are looking for an adoptive family themselves, using an agency, or an adoption lawyer? I would love to hear people's answers. Please feel free to email me with any questions or comments privately as well. Hi Gina_is _sxy, you had asked me to make contact but your profile doesn't allow emails. If you see this, please email me at [email protected] Take care! Hope all is well. Jen

Answer: This girl right here is pregnant and she might want to put up her baby for adoption. please contact her it could work out for you and her!

Question: He wants to back out of adoption plan. Can I be forced to be a mom? We had an adoption plan all in place. We cannot afford or care for this baby. We are not together as a couple but he wants not to put the baby up for adoption. Can he force me to be a mom? If he "adopts" the child, can he force me to pay child support?

Answer: While you cannot be forced to keep your baby, he cannot be forced to give up his parental rights. He is within his rights to bring the baby up himself, and receive child support payments from you. He doesn't need to adopt the child, it is his already.

Question: Where can I get a pet adoption plan sheet? I don't need an application I just need a website that'll help me organinze my notes on what kind of pet I want to adopt. Any ideas please and thank you.

Answer: Ive think you can get one at the link below. They say they don't have any at present but I've been told if you give them your email address then they will tell you where to go. Don't quote me on this, I sort of remember someone telling me. good luck.

Question: How much accountability should first parents own for their part in making an adoption plan.? ETA- not interested in adopting again.

Answer: That would depend how ethical or shady the agency was, how much coercion went on and if they received any therapy. Making such a monumental and emotional choice without having a clear head can cause mistakes to be made.

Question: What should happen if a birthmother willingly made an adoption plan for their child... and...? then changed her mind later... years later? Across the board- what should happen? PS-I just posted anothe similar question with a different timeframe.

Answer: Years later?? Nothing. Sorry but even as a birthmother I can't imagine putting my selfish wants ahead of a child's emotional well being.

Question: How can we support adoption and people who plan to adopt and people who are in need of adoption? How can we help adoption?

Answer: Here is how I think we can do this (and what I hope I am doing): We can support ETHICAL ADOPTION by returning it to a SOCIAL SERVICE for CHILDREN in need of a loving home because they are either TRUE orphans (meaning they have NO LIVING OR FIT relatives) or they have had the misfortune of being permanently removed from abuse and/or neglectful situations after due process. We can support people who plan to adopt by helping them become honestly educated about adoption and its issues and encouraging ONLY ethical adoption practices. I feel that unethical adoptions deserve no support whatsoever. We can support people (children) who are in need of adoption (ie: true orphans and foster children who's parents' rights have been terminated by the court due to abuse and/or neglect and have no fit family available to care for them in many ways such as: *By encouraging adoption from foster care. Especially for teens and special needs children. *Educating the public about adoption/foster care/family issues and ethics in an honest and thorough manner in order to give these children the best possible scenario from which to find a loving family as well as an understanding community in which to live. *By volunteering time with these children via reputable programs such as GAL/CASA, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, etc. or by becoming involved with your local schools, tutoring, mentoring, etc. *By donating items or gift cards for the children to your local DSS foster care program to distribute. (Many of these children have few possessions including clothing and school supplies.) *By supporting their human right to retain access to their original birth certificates, medical records and personal history, foster care records and identity. *By calling for adoption reform to return it to the actual social service it was intended to be: Finding suitable homes for children who are truly in need. *And finally, by helping reduce the numbers of those who NEED adoption by, again: Educating yourself and others about family issues, including adoption, and by supporting the families in your community through friendship and encouragement.

Question: Who was the most influential "entity" in making your adoption plan? That seems like an interesting question the other poster who asked it has blocked me, even though she still shows up to answer my questions. Anyway, I'd love to know too...was it your signifigant other, parents, the billboards you always pass your church or some other factor?

Answer: The stunned b****h of a social worker. May she rot in hell for ripping apart families to fill her own pockets with tainted money. For my adoption it was my grandmother who sent my mom off to have me at my great aunts telling her "Come home alone".

Question: Is anyone considering making an adoption plan? Hello, I am an adoptive Mom of one, hoping to be blessed again. I am wondering which path birthmoms are taking, adoption agency, adoption lawyer, or seeking the adoptive family themselves? I would love to read answers on the board, or hear privately from anyone considering adoption. I did a private adoption before and am really hoping to do so again. I am willing to talk to any potential birthmom about the process and answer any questions. Take care. [email protected]

Answer: No I have 2 kids already good luck!Try to get an adoption with no strings attached I have some friends that agreed the mother could have some contact and it is turning out to be a terrible mistake the mother is having second thoughts after 2 years and threatening to take them to court now, be careful.enjoy.

Question: If you absolutely had to make an adoption plan for your child would you...? Would you ever under any circumstances chose a single woman, even if she is established in her career and could give a child a good life and free college education?

Answer: If I had to I would give my child to the best parent possible.. weather it be a married man and women or a gay couple, either two men or two Lady's. or a single women or a single man..

Question: Poll: Adoption,or birth? How do you plan on having your children? How do you plan on having your children? Since,I plan not to ever have sex,adoption. Even if I did loose my virginity,adoption. You? Asexuals don't have much of a sex drive..I'm sure it's easy for me. http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.h…

Answer: I'm not sure yet. I'm only 15 so I have a long time to think about it. I would consider adopting though. =)

Question: Madonna is being very short sighted with her adoption plan. How on earth will she be able to speak to him...? when he is older, unless she learns Malawian.

Answer: is it called designer fostering these days..... sad

Question: Regarding the legal aspects of this pre birth adoption plan? When a pregnant mother has been matched with a family before the baby is born, but the mother has decided to keep her child (she is still pregnant) is she legally tied to the agency or the family that she had originally picked? What obligations does she have to either of them and is she required to let them know that she is no longer interested in the adoption plan, or can she just cut all ties with the agency and the family. Does she have to let either of them know when the baby is born? I ask here because when my niece contacted the agency to let them know her new plan to parent, after speaking with them she came to me thinking she had to go threw with her original adoption plan.

Answer: Your niece is under no obligation to the agency OR the couple that was selected. Her baby is HERS; no one else's. She should call the agency (NOT the prospective adoptive parents) and let them know that she has decided to parent her child herself. End of conversation. They will most likely attempt to make her feel badly for changing her mind. That is because they (the agency) will lose out on the money the PAPs will pay them for the baby. Tell your niece to end the conversation politely after she states her intent and that's IT. No further conversation. If the agency or the PAPs call her, she should change her phone number or report them for harrassment. Congratulations to your niece!

Question: I'm placing a baby for adoption, but plan to pump milk for the benefits. Is there anything I can do with it? The adoptive mother plans to nurse. If not, I'll just pump and trash it... but I hate to see it go to waste.

Answer: Speak to the hospital where you give birth and see if they accept donated breast milk. Otherwise see the following links about how to donate your breast milk, and then it can go to good use! Good luck! http://www.breastmilkproject.org/ http://www.milkinmamas.com/ http://www.breastmilkdonations.com/ http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/ http://www.nationalmilkbank.org/

Question: Is it to late to back out of adoption plan? Im pregnant with my 1st child, due on Feb 14 (VALENTINES DAY! ) and from the time I got pregnant I knew i couldn't raise a baby just yet cuz I am in high school still and the dad of my baby is not a fan of kids and he barely talks to me, except when his parents make him. Anyways I found a family to adopt my baby, but lately like the last week or so I have been regretting making the adoption plan because the more i think about it the more i want to keep my son. but I dont want to make a selfish choice. My mom and dad support me either way, they want me to be happy they say. I have asked my mom what to do but she says i am the only one who can make that choice but she will stand behind me no matter what. but i work only part time at the movie theater and my car is a junker but the adoptive family is loaded and the adoptive mom will be a stay at home mom too which I will never be able to do. Also they already furnished my sons room in their house and ever took me to get a 3d ultrasound! and those are expensive and I cant pay them back for that. So do I have to go threw with this, if I back out does that make me a bad person. Im so confused because I dont want to crush these people they are very nice but I will be crushed if they raise my son. What should I say to them and what would you do?? any birth moms been in my spot and what did you do? Also to add my parents have offered to support me and my son finicially until i complete school so its not like my son wouldnt have clothes or a home. he just wouldnt have AS much as he would if i let him be adopted.

Answer: My dear girl...you have the best of all possible options. Truly. What you consider to be THINGS they can offer are just that--things. Between you and your family...you have EVERYTHING covered. The child doesn't need the extras. To answer your question: NO you do not have to go through the adoption. This is why pre-birth matching is so wrong. Look how badly you feel. Of course the adoptive family will be devastated but it isn't your job to look after their feelings. They have to reconcile this...as an adoptive parent I know this is a possibility. And if they are decent...they will respect your decision...and treat you kindly. It also shows why paying expenses can be so wrong. You feel a financial obligation on top of everything. That was their choice too. You have parental support on every level. You have a father for this child who will have to pay child support and may (or may not) grow to be a good father. But at least you have everything else in your life lined up. You're a very fortunate person. You are in love with your child, very natural and you will be ok no matter what you decide. Tell the adoptive family you have changed your mind. Be direct and compassionate to their feelings but you have no other obligations than that. What the other family can offer may be great...but not for your child. Your child, right now, has everything any child could ever want. A mom who loves and wants to be a mom and extended family that will be there to support her. Even the father's parents seem to have an emotional attachement to your child. That could be great too. Your child will not want for anything if you have financial and emotional support. It's time for you to be a mom. Don't forget to get child support from the father and keep him involved if he is a good person. Congratulations and Happy Valentines Day!

Question: What are some ways that language is used to shape adoption? The term "Birthmother" has been talked to death, but there are others, too. For example "Placing", "Making an adoption plan" are two examples. Can you think of others, perhaps even more subtle ones? Thanks.

Answer: There are so many.... it seems to me like most of the negative terms are geared towards first parents and adoptees. I know that in the UK, ap's are commonly called "adopters", which is cold, in my opinion, and I don't use that term when referring to my ap's. I feel that "positive adoption language", developed by agencies, makes me sick to my stomach and will laugh in the face of anyone who uses it. It was developed to pretty up the pig and to please paps and ap's and no one else. I say I am adopted, and I was adopted. Because I am, and I was, lol. Nothing can ever change that, and it IS what defines me.

Question: 15 and pregnant, but plan on putting the baby up for adoption? I am 15 and 17 weeks along in my pregnancy. My mom has a big issue on this, she thinks I am taking the easy way out and not taking the responsibility, etc. I am doing what I think is the best for the baby. She has told me that if I don't change my mind that she will fight/take the baby. So my question is can she do that? Can she step in because I am a minor? If you know anything on this please let me know, thank you for your help.

Answer: No, your Mom can't do that! It's your choice if you want to keep the baby or put him/her up for adoption. I totally commend you for doing that. There are so many families that can't have children of their own and will be totally thrilled to have a beautiful addition to their family. Definitely look at adoption agencies or a clinic that can be supportive of your decision. They will be your advocate and help you! You are being VERY responsible. You are taking responsibility and are making a really great decision for you and for your child's life.

Question: Is it ethical for parents not to be informed of their minor child's adoption plans? When a minor is planning to place her child for adopt, do you think it should be required for her parents to be informed before the adoption takes place? Do you think it's unethical for an adoption agency to work with a minor wih out her parent's knowledge, or to do think that she should have complete right to privacy in this matter, dispite her age? Also do you feel the same way when it comes to a minor having an abortion, and whether or not her parents should be informed?

Answer: Difficult one to answer as we are all only human. In the UK minors do have the right to privacy with their GPs. Whilst I do agree with it in principle if I had a daughter who was pregnant and was thinking about abortion or adoption then I would like to know simply to be supportive. Either decision is a major one for an adult to make so it is hard to imagine a minor going through either without support.

Question: Who was the most influencial "entity" in your decision to make an adoption plan.? Thanks

Answer: I was my influence