Birth Parent

Question: What does it mean when a birth parent revokes their consent to adoption? If a birth parent does revoke the consent after the waiting time is up but before the adoption is finalized, what does that mean for the adoption? Does everyone go into a custody battle over the child, or does the birth parent get the baby back? The Tennessee Law is just not easy for me to understand Thanks for your help.

Answer: It means that the first parents have decided to parent their child, and the prospective adoptive parents must immediately return the child to the first parents.

Question: What is the best way to go about finding a birth parent ? What is the best way to go about finding a birth parent of an adopted child if you do not know their last name? I know her name, where she went to school, and how old she was when she gave birth. But not her last name.

Answer: you would need to contact the angency who hanndled the adoption,

Question: Am I the legal Birth Parent of my Partners Baby?What steps do i need to take? My girl and I are going to do AI ourselves to have a baby. What legal steps do we need to take in California? Am i the legal birth parent if she has the baby? I know that Donors do not have rights. Do I still have to adopt the child? Or do we need to be domestic partners before i am the birth parent by law?

Answer: I don't think you are a birth parent unless your name is on the birth certificate. I would imagine you would need a biological connection to the child to be on the certificate... Legal parent and birth parent are very different things. Consult a lawyer with a background in family law before you take your bundle of joy home.

Question: What's the probability of a birth parent trying to regain custody? Husband and I are researching domestic infant adoption (we live in CA). Friends who have adopted have all gone the international route, some voicing concern that this would reduce the likelihood of heartbreak and onerous expense, should a birth parent change his/her mind and sue to regain custody. No one, however, seems to have any actual data about how often this scenario plays out -- they can only point to the occasional high profile case that gets news coverage. Does this happen often, or does it really happen in only a small percentage of adoptions? Are we paranoid because of years of made-for-tv legal dramas over custody? I would greatly appreciate your insights and real life stories. I'm blown away at the thoughtfulness and quality of your answers. Thank you SO much.

Answer: Lots of these answers are very helpful, but I wanted to add a couple of points (as background, we have researched the adoption options in our search to adopt as well, so this is what we;ve found). First, in domestic infant adoption, you'll really want to work through an agency with a good reputation. The will be able to guide you through all of the very-normal worries this process brings. Second, that agency must give you a plan for how the parental rights of the birthparents will be terminated. The termination of parental rights is final. However, in most states, there is a grace period in which birthparents may change their minds. In SOME states, that period is 30 days. (In our current state, IL, for example, it is only 3 days! Only 72 hours!) Any reputable agency licensed in CA should be able to tell you the waiting time in CA. After this period passes, parental rights to the baby are ended. Now, there are some problems if the birth father isn't known, is claimed to not be known, or has not been found. A reputable licensed agency, again, should be able to clearly spell out to you what the plan is for either finding the birthfather or ending his parental rights in absentia and how long this process may take. We worked with 2 licensed IL agencies who shared the statistic with us that between 25-33% of birthmothers change their mind during the final stages of their pregnancy, right after delivery, or after TPR (termination of parental rights) papers are signed but during the legal waiting time (of 72 hours in IL). This means that about 1/3 of matches between adoptive parents and birthmothers fall through. Again, we only have information from these 2 agencies, but both were licensed & have a great reputation in our state. Neither of them ever expressed any cases where the TPR happened and it was later overturned. Now for the international case --- by definition of the US Immigration, in order to adopt intercountry, the child must be an "orphan" and, therefore, already have parental rights terminated. So, this issue is out of the picture. Hope that helps clarify a little. Edit: Wow! I found a typo & corrected it: 1/3 of matches don't work, but 2/3 of pre-birth matches (usually done in final trimester) DO!!!

Question: How to find your birth parent if they were divorced and you were giviven up at birth? I was adopted when I was a year old and i would love to find my birth parents

Answer: 1. have you asked your adoptive parents if they know anything? you could also go to the hospital you were born in if you know where it is or you adoptive parents might know or go to the adoption agency that you were in. also go on the net cause that will help too. hope this helps. good luck!

Question: Birth Parent? when i was young even before i could member anything my parents splitted up. My mother got remarried, and i found out when i was in my early teenage age. To me my current father isnt my bio-father but i still call him dad. Now im an adult and was watchin tv, and it was bout a girl that never knew of her parents. so i got bored and did a search for my real father. I have found his address and telephone number, i think its the right one. just that when i dialed the number my heart was beatin so fast and i couldnt breathe so i hung up after the first ring. now i dont know what to do. i do want to call n find out but also scared of the result. what should i do?

Answer: Wow our situations are exactly the same! I am now 24 years old, when i was about 11 months old, my mother and my "bio" father split up, i spent my whole life being brought up by another man, when i was 14 i found out that he was not my real father, i continued to call him dad and will never stop. When i was 19 i tracked my real father down, i done this mainly because i had so many questions and a part of me just had to know where i came from and some past family truths that were covered up from me. The first time i called i was so nervous i hung up (as you did) but when i finally worked up the courage to talk to him i discovered a whole new family and i got to meet them all personally and satisfy my curiosity. i have never regretted this. my advice to you is to have someone you trust to be there with you when you make that first phone call. for support, as you need it. If your father is happy to hear from you that is wonderful, you have much to gain, if it is the other way around at least you know where you stand and you have lost nothing. Life is too short. Good Luck to You.

Question: When is it OK for a birth parent to contact a teenage child given up for adoption? While we were in college, my wife was date raped by an ex-boyfriend. She got pregnant and put the baby up for adoption. We got married after school, and have been married 14 years and have 2 wonderful children. We know the names of the birth parents, and the name they gave the baby. Today out of boredom or God's will, I typed in the name and found a picture of her in a church pamphlet, along with a request for money to go on a mission trip to the Gulf Coast this summer. She's the spitting image of my wife. My wife doesn't talk about the baby she gave up much, but has said that she'd be glad if she one day contacted her. 1) would it be wierd to make an annonymous dontation so she could go on her mission trip? 2) should i show my wife the picture? 3) should i just shut up and leave it alone? What do you think?

Answer: I think the donation would be smart to do. I think you should let your wife know you found the picture. Then I think you should shut up and leave it alone- and let your wife decide. This girl might not even know she is adopted. It's a nice option to keep open, but I would tread carefully. Good luck to all of you!

Question: A recent amendment to the Child and Family Services Act and the Vital Statistics Act, allows birth parent of a A recent amendment to the Child and Family Services Act and the Vital Statistics Act, allows birth parent of adopted children over the age of majority, and adopted children over the age of 19, to access records that include original names and parents' names and detail of adoptions. What is the name of the new Act?

Answer: Adoption Disclosure Statute Law Amendment Act

Question: Has anyone found their birth parent with a closed adoption? Anyone out there found a birth parent without opening up a closed adoption in NYS?

Answer: i have. come to adult adoptees if you want. you can get some help there. adultadoptees.org

Question: Is it possible for a birth parent to find their child in a closed adoption? i was adopted at birth from a teenage mother in a different state. She named me, but my adoptive parents re-named me. I know her first name, but that is all i know. She was not married to my birth father, so i don't know anything about him. I was thinking recently wether or not he would ever be able to find out who I am through legal records and other available records.

Answer: In the USA, some states have registries, and some states have CI programs. Not all states' have them for mothers, however. Some agencies will do searches on behalf of mothers, and I know mothers who have been reunited this way. Mothers are able to obtain search help, privately, however. I found my son by hiring a private searcher. She located my son, gave me his address, and then I was able to write to him and from then on we handled our reunion ourselves. I did all of the contacting myself. Typically it is easier for mothers to find their children than fathers, because they often have more information, and they are able to get more help. I know lots of mothers who have found their children in the USA, but I don't know about other countries.

Question: I am an adopted child, advise for birth parent search? I'm thirteen years old. And I don't want my parents to know I'm trying to look for my birth parents. Is there anyway I can try to find them without any parent help? I know a little information about my birth parents. Not very much though.

Answer: In most states you must be 18 years old to search. However, I am an adoptive parent, having adopted four children, I have always let my kids know that if and when they wanted to search, that they should feel free to let me know. Even if they would prefer that I not be involved I would want them to know that I will be there for them, regardless of what they find. In addition there might be some additional information that I might have that would assist them, that they might have forgotted. My children are now 15 and 13 and at around about 13 my oldest also, started having additional questions about her birth mother. While we were unable to search, we were able to talk about what she was feeling and to re-go over what information that we had. This was a big help to her, because while it didn't answer all of her questions it did answer some. It also helped me to understand that this wasn't about me or my role in her life, this was about her and what she needed. It didn't take away from my role as her mother, in fact it was a part of my role as her mother to help and support her. Talk to your mother, her response might surprise you and even if she is hurt at first give her the chance to understand that this is not about hurting her or replacing her or in anyway taking away from her role as your mother, it is just about you needed some additional information. Good luck

Question: How do you deal with a bad reunion with a birth parent? My birth sister found me with a call very late one night. I then spoke with my birth mother who informed me that I was a family secret and told me about how I almost killed her while she gave birth to me. I have had very little contact since mostly because she is a very negative person. It bothers me that I came from someone so nasty. What do I do?

Answer: Your real parents are the people who adopted you. Anyone can be a birth parent. it takes raising a child right which makes us true parents. As for your mother, she is guilt ridden, probably has been all her life and will continue to be. She may sometimes rationalize this by the type of comments she made to you such as "I almost died giving you birth". You do not have to have a relationship with her, but you can forgive her, for your own sake. Remember, she did not have an abortion, you were a secret because, possibly when she had you she was very young and unmarried too. She was not in a position to take care of you and had to give you up. It must not have been easy. You can have a relationship with your sister though but always also remember that your adoptive parents are you real parents and if they have other children they are your brothers and sisters; thank them, sometimes.

Question: How long did it take you to find your birth parent, or birth son/daughter? I was put up in Foster care age of 9 months, i was adopted by the same lady that i was in foster care with , (my mom) then she passed away when i was 8 yrs old, ever since ive been living with my sister (not birth sister) i just started reacearch on how to find my birthmother this week. I lost my adoption papers so i need to find out how to recieve them. How long did it take you to find your birth family?

Answer: well, my mom ran into the military and to another country to get away from my dad (he wasn't dangerous, she was just selfish and stupid) i never saw my dad. I found out that if you have their social security number (i found it on my birth certificate) you can write a letter to the SS office and include a letter to your parent sealed and postaged. they will take their last known address in their records to forward the letter. This process took me less than a month. he responded the day he received the letter. it all depends on whether you had an open adoption on whether or not you can locate your birth parents info. as far as regretting it, whether or not your birth parents receive you with open arms. i can say this. you won't regret it. if things don't turn out where they want to be in your life now, it's okay. you made yourself available. i found my dad and now i no longer talk to him. but i don't regret it. Because now i know. You are the one that reached out. you may not get all the answers you want. but if someone is not willing to reach out halfway, they aren't worth being in your life. good luck!

Question: Does an adopted child have any legal right to the biological birth parent? If a child was adopted out and the biological parent had a court hearing to find out if they were an incapacitated person (meaning unable to take care of themselves) or not, does the child have rights to that information pertaining the status of the parent?

Answer: No. As an adopted child, all your rights to your biological parents were severed when you were adopted. Your family is now your adoptive family and you have no legal ties of any kind (including the right to inherit) from your biological parents. This is a strictly personal matter that relates to a biological parent's health situation and since you no longer have any legal connection to them, their right to privacy outweighs your curiosity in the results of said hearing (you have no right to attend or hear the results as you are not a legal relative).

Question: If neither birth parent wants a born child, where would they go? Neither of my close friend's birth parents want her living with them anymore. I don't know that she has anywhere to go. What about foster care or adoption? Are those viable options? What if she just stayed at a friend's house until she turns 18? (She's 15 now, she turns 16 in March)

Answer: I agree with notyou. Get help.Because if the parents can't accept the responsibility of their creation, then its time for someone else to step in. No child should EVER be neglected.

Question: How would you find a birth parent with these circumstances? My Dad was born in 1949 and was given up for adoption. However the adoption was not legal and there was no paper work. The only think my Dad was ever told is that His mother had many children and that she had to give him up before her husband came home. (assuming he was not the husband's child) As he understands it he was born in Tennessee and his adoptive mother drove up from Jacksonville, FL to TN to get him. The hospital that he was born in burnt down so as we understand it there were no records of his birth. When my Dad started school he was almost taken away because of there being no documentation. They finally went ahead and issued him a birth certificate based off of information that his adopted mother gave them... so it was not his true information. With all this being said.... Is there a way to find out who is mother was and the rest of his siblings??? His adoptive mother passed away many years ago... I was maybe 3 years old and I am now 26. His father has also past but never showed any interest in my dad anyways. He would never speak of anything. I wanted to thank all of you for you're answers and I am looking into all of them.

Answer: If his siblings were old enough to understand, there is a possibility that they will/are looking for him. Here are some sites to look into regarding black market adoptions. Most black market adoptions are considered for profit but his falls under the same category since there are no records. http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Garde… http://www.angelfire.com/fl2/colebaby/bl… http://reunion.adoption.com/adoption-rec… Since you know what hospital, you must know what town he was born in. Request that the newspaper print an article regarding his situation, request that a photo be published with it to help with identifying him. The other children may have been told that he died during child birth or they may not have been aware. Good luck in your search.

Question: Can I find my birth parent by looking in the newspaper? If I go through the newspaper around the date of my birth, do you think my birth mother will be listed in there as having a baby girl? When births are shown in the paper, is that mandatory, or do people opt to have that they had a baby put in the paper?

Answer: **No**

Question: What are the laws concerning a minor living with someone other than a birth parent? Ex: Child wants to live with an aunt or uncle or a friend, who is a legal adult, in another state. Ex: Child wants to live with an aunt or uncle, or a friend in a different state. The child is depressed, has multiple troubles at school (social and schoolwork), and misses her friends and family where the aunt and uncle live. Child has yet to talk about the situation with the parent.

Answer: This depends entirely on what state you are living in because parent/child relationships are regulated by state agencies. It is, however, a federal felony for an adult to take a minor across state lines without the express permission of at least one of the child's parents. Unless the child is willing to go to court and challenge the parents' rights, the child has to live where the parents want the child to live. Courts will generally not terminate parental rights unless it can be proven that the parents have abused or neglected the child in a way that endangers the child's welfare, so if you just want to live with a friend or a relative because you're tired of your parents, wait until you're eighteen.

Question: What is the best, easiest, and cheapest way to find a birth parent? I have never met my biological father and all I know about him is his first and last name and that he went to Pike HS.

Answer: you should see if he is registered at classmates.com or look him up in the phone book, maybe he still lives in that area

Question: can a step parent legally adopt a child if the birth parent is not allowed visitation to the child? my fiancee does not have visitation to his son, he does still have his parental rights. can the mothers new husband adopt the child without informing us?

Answer: NO...the only way is if your fiance gives up his rights. They cannot do it behind your back. I suggest you get a lawyer, and seek some court orders to get some visitation to be a part of his childs life........