Closed Adoptions

Question: closed adoptions? i am almost 15 and had a closed adoption at birth. last year i had allot of medical problems and had to be kept from school is there any way to get medical information(louisville ky)

Answer: Start with the agency that handled the adoption to see what information, if any, they can provide. It will likely depend on what agreement the birth parents entered into at the time of the adoption. Your age may make it more difficult to access records without the help or consent of your adoptive parents or legal guardians. You might also search the Internet for sites or nonprofit organizations that work on reuniting adoptees with birth parents, if both parties are willing. http://www.kyadoptions.com/ Check out these sites for more info on closed adoptions as well as laws in all 50 states (don't know if KY is where you adoption took place) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed_adop… http://family.findlaw.com/adoption/state…

Question: What are some of the problems with closed adoptions? I am writing a paper about how open adoption is better than closed adoption. I need to have some problems that closed adoptions have and that open adoptions don't. Thanks in advance!

Answer: In many cases of closed adoption it's about identity. Not knowing where you came from and who you look like. Not "fitting in". Then there's the issue of "why did she give me up?". Not knowing...always wondering, fantasizing, shame. Developing a lack of trust, ownership and self-esteem. When open adoptions are honored there are no lies and no secrets. It's all out in the open and talked about from the beginning. A child can continue his/her relationship with bio family. Extremely better chances of an emotionally healthy child and adult.

Question: What are the requirements for closed adoptions? What are the current fees& is the family medical history open? what are the classes needed to adopt and why are they neccessary? This is a school project and im trying to get information about adoptions because i think the expenses should be lowered and the medical history and current medical history should be available at anytime in a childs life no matter open or closed.

Answer: For the most part, prior to the adoption in many states, "non identifying information", including medical information, is collected and made available to the adult adoptee upon request. The problems with this system are: 1.) The collection of non-ID info varies from state to state & even from one agency to the next. It is not a LEGAL requirement. 2) Well informed prospective adoptive parents can ASK for a medical history before the adoption is finalized. 3.) The information collected at the time of the adoption is quickly outdated, & subsequent NEW information is NOT included in the non-ID info. 4.) People don't consider that medical information is useful FROM an adoptee (to their first family) as well as TO the adoptee. For example, by BFF (oldest child, not relinquished, but could have been in the BSE) has had 2 bouts of breast cancer. Had she BEEN relinquished, her baby sister would not have the information that she has a 1st degree relative with breast cancer (no one else in the family had it prior to my BFF). In another, real life example, one of the birth moms in my search group discovered that the son she relinquished had been diagnosed with & died from muscular dystrophy; a genetically transmitted disease that more frequently affects boys, but is carried by women. Although his adoptive parents wanted the adoption agency to contact the birth mother before he died, the agency never did. Birth mom found this out after all her 3 daughters had married & had children, including 2 boys (younger than 5, not yet showing signs). Had the birth mother been given that information, her DAUGHTERS could have received genetic testing for MD BEFORE they decided to have babies. Adoption costs are not nearly as high, (practically free) for children waiting in foster homes for permanent families, BTW. Interesting paper you're working on. Good luck!

Question: What are the pros and cons of open and closed adoptions? I'm placing my baby for adoption and my agency rep has been asking me if I want an open, semi-open or closed adoption. I'd like to hear from others who have been through it what the differences are and how they applied to them in real life. Also, what are the pros and cons of each to the child, the birth mom and the adoptive parents? Also, is it possible to keep in touch with the parents and the child through letters and pictures without actually seeing them?

Answer: Closed adoption is when you have no contact with your child nor the adoptive parents. Semi-open adoption is when you can write to your child and they can write you back. Open adoption is when you can see and write to you birth child. I have adopted a child 4 and a half years ago and the mother wanted a closed adoption. Which was sad for us because we have no picture nor no history to show our child. Our child now at the age of 5 does now that we adopted her and knows that she has a birth mother somewhere out there. She even wishes at times that she had a picture of her birth parents. We would of love to have done a semi-open adoption but the birth parents at the time didn't want that. I would suggest that if you do give your child up for adoption go with at least a semi-open adoption. That way you can write letters and send pictures. If the adoptive parents don't follow through then just keep sending them and one day you will receive something back. Good luck on your decision.

Question: which is better open or closed adoptions, for the kid? my family is looking into adopting another child. I can not have anymore and we always wanted a large family.

Answer: Closed. They don't need the confusion or the potential drama. Also, there have been many cases of open adoption where the birthmother actually KIDNAPPED the child

Question: Does anyone know the rights an adoptee has concerning birth records in closed adoptions?

Answer: From what ive heard some agencys have a loop hole, if you contact them and tell them that you would like to contact your birth parents and your birth parents tell the agency that they would like to contact you, the agency will release that information to both parties, but both parties have to want to find one another before they can do anything, other than record that you are willing to have your info given out. It just depends on your agency and how they work. BUt i do believe that you have to be over 18 to do this, but you never know they might say ok if you have your adoptive parents wishes, call the agency that you went threw and ask them what terms can the information be let out in a perfect situation, they might know of a way :)

Question: I am looking for studies that support closed adoptions? Need a studies with charts that show the effects on the child; not the parent

Answer: Check out these links: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/adoptio… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed_adop… Most of the information out there is pro open adoption. I did not see too much real data (in the form of charts/graphs/statistics/etc).

Question: What are the requirements to adopt a child with a closed adoption? My husband and I would like to adopt a child via a closed adoption. We just wanted to know of the requirements that we would have to be aware of. Do they vary by agency? Does anyone know any good links for agencies that offer closed adoptions? What is the average price? Thank you.

Answer: Im sorry that some people have been rude to you on here^^. It seems that they 'know' a lot about adoption but nothing about manners and respect. I can understand why you want closed adoption. It's a lot easier on the child to grow up with one mom and one dad. It would be so confusing for them to have someone stopping by every week or two claiming they are their birth mom. And so what if you want a kid to fulfill your dreams of being a mother? You have to want to be a mom before you can fulfill the children's needs. I would be worried if you hopped on here and said "I hate children but i kind of feel bad for the ones who don't have a mother and father so I'm going to adopt one to take care of it, but i don't really want one...." The people above me went a overboard with criticizing you. Adoption requires you to want a child and a family, and to want to give that child a family. You're not being unreasonable with your question at all. Here's a link for fees/costs varying by agencies: http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/learn-… Also, explore the site for your other questions-there's an answer to all of your questions on that site. Good luck and ignore the rude ones.

Question: What are the biggest reasons people close open adoptions? Ive seen some questions about open adoptions on here and everyone says they aren't legally enforceable which is true but why would someone agree to a open adoption if they know they will want a closed the adoption in the future, why not just go for a closed adoption from the start? Also what are the reasons that open adoptions become closed adoptions over time? also once the AP or the natural parent decides to close the adoption do they have to notfy the other or do the notify the agency/lawyer they used during the adoption process?

Answer: Once the adoption is final, the Aps can close the adoption for any reason without having to notify anyone. I, personally, believe this is wrong. Sadly a lot of people use the lure of "open adoption" to get a woman to agree to let them adopt her baby. They have no intention of keeping her in the baby's life. I also think that sometimes perhaps Aps may get jealous or insecure when they see the first mom bond with their child in away they can't. True open adoptions do happen but it takes dedication and commitment from all parties involved. I have left the door open for my daughter's first mom. Sometimes she comes around more, other times she backs off and we don't hear from her for months. But I have told her that all she has to do is reach out and she can see and have contact with our daughter.

Question: Aparents and adoptees from closed adoptions? Aparents, were you ever worried that your adopted child would end up in an intimate relationship with someone they were related to? Did it affect how you handled your child dating? Adoptees, was it a concern for you once you reached your dating years that you could become involved with a relative? if yes, did it affect how you handled your personal life? I ask because it was something I worried a lot about as a teen, and because of the question with the reunited family who lived right across the street.

Answer: I've thought about it before. But the chances are slim since I've Asian and have never dated an Asian guy before (other than a guy who claimed to be 1/10th Chinese). Could be one reason I've never dated any Asian guys. But I also am not attracted to them for some reason.

Question: what are your thoughts on closed adoptions? for it ? against it? why? why not? please be elaborate

Answer: The only interests closed adoption serves - is that of the adoptive parents and that of the bio parents. (ie the adults) It does not serve the best interests of the child. A child needs to know - personally - who they look like - who they act like - what talents they may be leaning towards - where they came from. They need to get this from personal contact - not just pictures and words on paper. ANY adult that thinks that closed adoption is good for a child - is only thinking of themselves. Closed adoption is cruel, selfish and harmful to the adoptive child. I've lived it for 38 years. I've lived a life of pain. (as have 100's of other adoptees I know that have lived closed adoptions) Most parents would not intentionally WANT to cause a their child PAIN - so WHY would prospective adoptive parents and prospective relinquishing parents WANT TO CAUSE A CHILD PAIN?????? I had a great adoptive family - but my truth was always hidden from me (I knew I was adopted - but wasn't allowed to know about my adoption etc) - as that is what was done at that time (the 60's). What is BEST for children - for their self worth, self identity and self esteem (and generally for best metal health) - is for their to be completely open adoptions. (as long as no physical harm is present) Any parent (both adoptive and bio) that thinks that it will all be too hard for themselves - should seriously NOT adopt / should NOT give their children up for adoption To do so would be to make themselves feel better - rather than do what's best for the child. Message to prospective adoptive parents - if you can't allow for an open adoption - don't adopt. Message to those thinking of relinquishing their child - if you can't allow for an open adoption - do NOT give your child away.

Question: should closed adoptions be legal? i do think that closed adoptions should be banned, and i was told to write an essay on it. i have a problem because i don't know why i think they should be banned, all i can think of is children have the right to find out their roots, and for health reasons. if someone could please help me with some more reasons, facts, stats about closed adoptions i would be very grateful! thank you very much

Answer: I agree that adoptees should have the rights as adults to find out about their roots, birth certificates, and medical records. However, that is "open records" not an "open adoption". A "closed adoption" refers to when there is no contact between an adoptive family and the birth parents. I believe that closed adoptions are necessary in some cases to protect a child from abusive family members or situations that could cause the child more harm. We agreed to an open adoption despite knowing that there were things in our son's bio parents' lives that caused concern for our son's safety. However, we knew that the openness was at our discretion and our son would never be alone with the bio parents so we felt it was acceptable. Ironically, the bio parents chose not to keep the open agreement.

Question: I was adopted. What's the best way to get info from a "closed adoption" state? I know that my birthstate has closed adoptions. I was born in Florida. I know a LOT of basic info about it, but always reach a dead end when getting past the basics... For those of you who may be wondering, I've signed up wth the state registry and so many online registries that I've lost count. It was a closed "private" adoption, as well. We didn't go through any agency at all. The only thing I have is the agency through the state. I've been registered since I was 18 -- giving them ALL my info just in case someone ever looked for me. OK. One more edit -- not that it would help much... I know both parents names. I know the hospital where I was born (which burned down in '72), I have even found info (names, ages, current jobs, etc.) in the Polk Registry for Duval County, Jacksonville, Floriday. It's finding any records AFTER that that stumps me. The fled with my 4 year old brother, and it's like they disappeared off the face of the earth. I tried going through Health and Human Services only to be told they couldn't send my "original" birth certificate since it was a 'closed' adoption. I've searched off and on for 22 years. I guess I'm just out of luck. Oh, and the judge and both attorneys are now dead. I've looked. I've called hospitals, court records, courts, law firms, etc. It appears to just be a dead end. I just thought I'd ask to see if anyone had any new ideas....

Answer: Wow adopted.... Scary

Question: Georgia closed adoptions?? when i get older, maybe 25, i REALLY wanna adopt a child, like i've never seen myself getting married, and i've always been just really independent, i want a child, but i dont want a husband, or "baby daddy", i hope this makes sense........i dont have enough money to do it through like a big agency, so i was wondering if closed adoptions was the answer, or is there some way i could adopt for little $$$$$$?

Answer: Your sick!! SICK SICK SICK!!!

Question: do you know of any adoption agencys that will alow a single 43 yr old to a closed domestic adoptions in usa ? list adoption angencys except rainbowadoptions and everlastingadoptions see im 12 this woaman is my dads girlfirend of 11 yrs and shes a great parent but she wants a child of her own and she wants a closed adoption because people like you would give up their child and then want them several yrs later

Answer: Why closed? Why would anyone knowingly cut a child's ties with his/her natural parents when there obviously is not abuse? This is about YOUR insecurity, and does not benefit the child and will cause the child nothing but harm. You should reconsider adopting until you understand how you are NOT the only person in the equation. There is another mother, like it or not, and a child to think about also. Adoption is NOT about your needs, but about the needs of a child. Erasing a child's natural family is cruel.

Question: Sadly we hear about open adoptions suddenly being closed, but how often do you think closed adoptions...? are eventually opened? I hadn't thought about this until we adopted from foster care. Most of the people we met had closed adoptions due to safety concerns, however, a few years down the line, they decided to contact the first parents to see if situations had improved, and if they did, then contact was initiated. I was wondering if this also happens with closed private adoptions. Maybe parents wish to begin a relationship with the original parents (perhaps even at their children's request). Or have first parents in closed private adoptions ever tried contacting their children's adoptive parents to see if they could have some contact. And how often is that successful? Andraya, are you serious? Your account was suspended for trying to locate parents of your child? And yet people can solicit for babies? Hmmmm :(((

Answer: Kazi- A lot of it depends on the laws of the country or state you live in. We have a post adoption centre with a case worker assigned to our files. So even if contact was stopped for a period of time for whatever reason it can be initiated again just by contacting them, then on our/or birth parents behalf they will initiate the first step. I have an assigned social worker in post adoptions who passes on anything that is sent for my girls. She even writes me a letter at times... The other thing I found my social worker does is call us occasionly to see how its going or to help schedule times for visits, we're starting to set our own times now through email, but she still calls us. (I'm used to using her first name, I never use other terms IRL...so it feels odd to say first mum or birth mum...) In cases of abuse it could be much harder, but I think post adoptions could at least request a softer form of contact such as a letter to see if things had changed at all. I know they take it case by case. Andraya- Thta was harsh of them to do that,(YA troll!) I hope you find him soon. Hopefully they are looking for you too.

Question: Open vs Closed Adoptions? What are your views on a open or closed adoption for a child who was taken by the state and parental rights are going to be terminated after 3 1/2 years. We are thinking about possible having an open adoption with the bio parents, but are unsure because of the circumstances. Meaning, we weren't chosen by them to raise their child, the state took him/her as a baby in a bad situation that hasn't gotten any better. Please give me some ideas on if you have been in one, are the adopted child...etc. What type of open / semi open / closed adoption and were there any problems with both sides keeping their end of the deal up. Info on how many visits you allowed, were given...anything will help. We were all up for a total open adoption until some recent events that weren't the best choices and am on the fence to do it or to totally cut all ties. Keep them coming...great answers...except for he k or whoever it was that I gave a thumbs down to!

Answer: Do the biological parents have habits, behaviors or addictions that may put the child in danger? If yes, then it should be a closed adoption. I personally do not believe in open adoption. If I had grown up with a "second mommy" or an "occasional mommy", that would have confused the living daylights out of me, "Who is this person? Why do they say they are my mommy? She doesn't live here, why does mommy make me see this person?" But it really depends on the individual child. The idea of open adoption just doesn't appeal to my sense of logic.

Question: What is the difference between an opened and a closed adoption of a child in the state of Maine? If an adoption took place in the court in the State of Maine in the late '60's would that make it an opened or a closed one?

Answer: All adoptions of that era had imposed sealed records and secrecy, it was not a choice. But luckily hardworking advocates of adoptee rights http://www.obcforme.org/ have very recently managed to pass a Bill allowing adult adoptees to be treated equally to the non-adopted and they will be able to request their original birth certificate, if they so choose, from January 2009 - Yay for Maine Now, if the rest of the country would just catch up into the current century so that nobody is left stigmatized and penalized by the fact they were adopted . . . .

Question: Will my baby go straight to a new home if I am planning a closed adoption? I am planning on putting my baby for adoption. I am 6 months pregnant right now. I want to have a closed adoption but I want to make sure she will go to a new and permanent home right away. How does closed adoption usually work?

Answer: Please do not do this to yourself, or to your baby. You will most likely never recover from this. And for the love of God, please do not contact any of the greedy pap vultures here who have already emailed you or added you to their contact list. They do not care about you, only getting their mitts on your baby. Please educate yourself as to how adoption will affect you and your child. No baby wants to be raised by strangers. They want their natural Mother or Father to raise them. Here are some MUST read links for you. Please do not give your baby away to strangers. http://www.cubirthparents.org http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_fa… http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org http://www.amfor.net/acs http://www.origins-usa.org http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm http://www.keepyourbaby.com/ http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/ http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

Question: Does closed adoption promote the idea that children are property to be owned? After all, if the idea behind closed adoption is that the adoptive parent wants the child to be hers and hers alone, isn't that suggestive of possessiveness and ownership? "Did it ever occur to you that the adoptive parents want to feel like it is their child"? Yes. It did. That's why it seems like it promotes the idea of children as property. And, in case you were curious, I have a LOT to do with adoption.

Answer: The history of adoption that led up to making it as secretive, closed and sealed up as possible was all about making it appear as though the child had been born to the adoptive parents. Just read about the history, as well as the chronology of legislation, and this is quite clear. It was never about "privacy" for the first parents. In fact, records remained open to the adoptive parents and the adopted persons for many years, despite being sealed from the first parents. The whole idea was to keep the first parents away from the adoptive family, not the other way around. For an adoptive parent to want to choose closed adoption is to carry on this experiment of "as if born to." The does include some sort of concept that the child is possessed by the adoptive parents. Knowing full well that the child has another set of parents -- those to whom s/he was born -- yet denying it by trying to keep them out of the picture -- denies part of who the child is. A sense of ownership, then, does appear to exist.