Confidential Adoptions

Question: Could someone please rationalize what agencies call "confidential adoption" so it makes sense? By definition, a closed adoption or "confidential adoption," must first require taking away the rights of a child to know his/her identity in order to assure another person (a parent) that the child will not find out who they are until at least adulthood, if ever. I'm not talking about revealing parents' identities to the general public; I'm only talking about their son or daughter retaining their rights to their own heritage. My question is How can this practice be ethically justified? Thank you for your thoughts. Good answers so far. As suspected, there is no real justification for "confidential adoption". It's disappointing that there are people who believe that adoptees should accept closed adoption on the grounds that they could have been aborted instead, thus leaving them deserving of fewer rights than those not adopted. Permanently closed adoption simply is not fair to the adoptees. Keep speaking our truths until we are understood.

Answer: Its early so bare with me..... It CAN'T be rationalized. Who are the agencies to be "promising" this in the first palce?!?! Anyone can start a non profit agency why is the state allowing complete idiots to have the control of someones heritage and ancestry?!?! Look at Seymour Kurtz ( had numerous agencies shut down for child trafficking, nevertheless he's still practicing. http://www.babybrokerwatch.com ) look at jennalee ryan ( kicked out of numerous states and lost her liscence in a couple of states for child trafficking and trying to sell "pre-made" embryos w/ "perfect" qualities ( eugenics ) yet she just moved states and is practicing again. The list goes on and on, yet the states DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR INFORMATION. At least adoption agencies are required to keep it though there isn't a single law that I'm aware of that requires donor clincs to "keep" the vital records they're doing it on faith only. There IS NO RIGHT TO PRIVACY UPON SURRENDER in the entire nation. That is in every state, in every city across the United States of America. I don't know WHY my records are still sealed. Well, thats a lie, I do know why, i know that those who sealed them in the 30's in my state ( california ) were invovled w/ Georgia Tann, they had a black market baby. They wanted records sealed. They got records sealed. Its unfortunate that a few people have the power to unseal or seal them at their discretion. A Closed adoption is all that happens these days. EVERY ADOPTEES RECORDS ARE SEALED. 6 states open them to the adoptees upon the age of majority. NONE of these states can legally promise any mother a right to privacy upon surrender. They have no ethical, legal or moral right to do this, yet they're doing it to thousands of children a year. This is where my passion against agencies "birthed" from. Of course since then it has developed and grown for other, signifigant reasons, but for now, this needs to be addressed. It will this July 2008 at the Annual State Legislatures Convention.

Question: I need to find a Confidential Intermediary that can help me with an Adoption originating in Madrid, Spain.? Does anyone have a resource for Spain? I can easily do internet searches and find national resources. Any help woould be appreciated.

Answer: Please explain a little more. Are you an adoptee who was born in Madrid?

Question: are adoption records really confidential? i would really like to find out who my birth parents are?

Answer: Yes! They ARE sealed, only 6 states in the US give adoptees access to their OBC's. ( original birth certificates ) alaska and kansas never sealed, oregon, new hampshire, maine, and arkansas give adoptees unconditional access to their unaltered birth ceritificates upon the age of majority which is 18, 19 or 21 depending on the state. Unconditional access means that you can walk up to any vital records place, pay the same fee as non adopted people requesting their birth certificates and get it!! Everywhere else in the USA discriminates against adoptees by enforcing state run registries ( with no fee limit some states charge over 1000 dollars just to register with no searching or guarantee of a reunion for you, or guarantee of access to your obc ) other states enforce confidential intermediaries which is also a violation of adoptee rights!! We aren't a threat to anyone. We never consented to having our records sealed. Allowing another human being authority on OUR access to OUR records is discrimination at its finest! No state court has the obligation to uphold any unlawful promise to our first parents of privacy above our rights to our heritage, ancestry and original, only legal document of our OWN birth. Most of these sealed record states laws will say that "access to unaltered birth certificates will only be given via court order " in other words the adoptee will have to petition the courts and show "good cause." The only "good cause" i have seen by the judges in my years online working with other adoptees on reform is the Indian Child Welfare Act. If your non identifying information says that you have native american indian in you, then chances are you can win a petition to the courts for your OBC. However, its still a discrimination in itself that you even have to petition for your OBC. If our mothers really were "promised" secrecy, which would seal our records, and that was a lawful promise, then our records couldn't be opened by court order due to the promise. ( loop hole in the law for anyone in adoption reform activism for adoptee rights! ) Majority of the time, mothers weren't promised it anyways, its a lie. For your states specific laws you can go to www.adopteerights.net Also, check out the Adoptee Rights Demonstration on that site above. A bunch of us are protesting at the annual state legislatures convention in July on 2008! The State Legislatures have the ability to enforce the opening of our records, so they are who we want to know that we're not taking NO for an answer anymore. Its time adoptees were treated equal to the non adopted citizens of this country. I am a proud american, but I wish america was proud of me.

Question: how do i find confidential adoption info without paying? so my mom was adopted but doesnt know who her mom is. and i really want to know who my real grandma is. my goal by the end of this summer is to find her or atleast find out about her. but im only fifteen so i have no money or any way to get ahold of money. if you know anysite or anyway to find out who my moms mom is... for free.. PLEAAAAASE let me know. :) thank you.

Answer: You could search public adoption reunion registries to see if your Grandma is searching, using your Mom's date of birth There are loads. For example: http://registry.adoption.com/ http://www.gsadoptionregistry.com/ And for the record, the majority of Mothers are delighted to be found. They are the only people who can tell you how they feel about contact, not strangers with hidden fears and insecurities on the internet - blech. Don't let anyone tell you its wrong to want to know your ancestry, you have every right to know.

Question: on the show 'high school confidential,' which girl gets pregnant and puts her baby up for adoption? i know allyson has an abortion, but which girl has a baby that she puts up for adoption?

Answer: It wasnt one of the main girls featured it was her younger sister. Im pretty sure her name was jessica.

Question: Is there anyway to find a sibling that was given up for adoption? My father told me that when him and my mother were only 16 she got pregnant and they gave a little boy up for adoption and it was confidential is there anyway I can find him now? It has been 26 years.

Answer: Confidential? It depends on a few things. Hopefully, your brother knows he was adopted. See what information you can get discreetly, if there is an issue with your parents helping you find him. His birthday, the hospital and city he was born in are a good start. Finding out what "confidential" translates to, will also help, if you don't know. If it was an adoption agency, the name of the agency can help track him. If it was a private adoption of some sort, your parents could have more info. Depends on the situation. Collect your information and start looking through on-line adoption sites where children search for siblings other and parents. Even if you cannot personally locate him that way, there are people on those sites with a whole lot more experience. Beware of anyone asking for money.

Question: Can a woman give birth anonymously in Canada? If a woman delivers a baby in a Canadian hospital & wishes to give it up for adoption, does Canadian law require that she be identified? Assume that she can pay the hospital bill in cash, and obviously, she is the real mother if she's delivering! Does the interpretation of the law depend upon whether or not she is a Canadian citizen (in this case, she's American)? If a woman cannot put a baby up for adoption anonymously in Canada, how confidential are the records kept?

Answer: Theoretically you could register in an assumed name, say you are from out of country and pay cash on the barrellhead, but you have to go through adoption services to adopt out your baby and for that they will not be just taking you on your word. You will have to disclose your truthful details. And I think you should. You do not know how you will feel in the future and though you can adopt out and keep you identity secret, I think, though things may be different for different provinces-you should check that out. I think you should also consider the reason you want to adopt out a child under an assumed name, if that is what you are suggesting. It may be useful to contact an adoption agency and discuss these detail with them beforehand, this I am sure you could do anonymously. All the best to you, this must be a difficult time for you. ps do not birth secretly at home then leave the baby on a doorstep! That is dangerous and illegal.

Question: How di I get medical information from my birth hospital? I am trying to find my biological father for medical reasons. I Know my biological mother(deceased) who is on the original birth certificate that I possess. My biological mother gave me when I was about seven to have her brother and wife adopt me(I believe I was about 15 when adoption became official.).So, wondering what steps to take to see if hospital would release confidential birth information. I also have an official letter from a Catholic Church that states where and when my baptism took place and am wondering if my biological father might be listed but "unofficially"? Thank you. C.L.

Answer: Call the hospital and ask for the medical records librarian. She (or he) can help you cut through the red tape. Laws about this may vary from state to state. Hopefully you will not have to hire an attorney. Good luck. Most Catholic parishes have a secretary who can assist you regarding your baptismal record. After a time these records may be transferred to the archdiocese. If so, call the archdiocese and ask for assistance. If you practice your faith actively, your local pastor or parish priest may be able to assist.

Question: High School Confidential ? I'm watching this High School Confidential on WE and this 15 year old on here is pregnant her family is Catholic so they told her no abortion (which is fine by me) but then they say she is giving her baby up for adoption. I don't think it is right at all that a parent force their child to give away a baby (It isn't their child, they have no right). Do you think it's ok ? i know in NY this can't be done how about where you live ? I don't mean abortion is fine buy me , i mean i don't think there was a problem in telling her she couldn't get one.

Answer: I watched it too. I thought their daughter should have made the final decision and had done what she wanted, after all, it is HER child...that she carried for NINE months and had to give birth to. Either way she IS going to have to deal w/it for the rest of her life, there isn't going to be a day where she won't think about the child she gave birth to.. but maybe, just maybe, what was done was the 'right' decision.. we can only hope..But I totally agree abortion should have been totally out of consideration, she should have to deal w/her consequences. All in all, I thought all the same thoughts as you while watching the episode.

Question: Did anyone see "High School Confidential" on WE and get pissed at Justine's mother? Her Mom was completely un-supportive and forced her daughter to give up the baby for adoption. She actually works for social services! I hope that woman never gets to council my children. There is a bill going through the Missouri assembly right now that makes it a crime to force a woman to have an abortion. Shouldn't it also be a crime to force a woman to give up a baby for adoption?

Answer: Yea she is a really mean person...I feel bad for her kids!

Question: What do adoptees think about this? (PLEASE No Social workers or APs. thanks.)? Redbook, March 2000 Why I don't want to find my birth mother By Paula S. Bernstein She tells me I'm angry. I tell her that I'm not. She insists I'm in denial. She is Betty Jean Lifton, a prominent adoption counselor and author who believes that adoptees can only be fulfilled by reunited with their birth parents. I beg to differ. I was adopted when I was an infant, and although I've been imprinted with a set of neuroses all my own, I'm relatively well adjusted. I'm close with my family, I've got intimate friends, I'm in a romantic relationship, and I like my job. I have no craving for biological relatives, and the way I see it, I've got enough loving friends and family. But members of a new movement of adoption reformists—including therapists like Lifton—don't buy my story. They promote the idea that genes are all-important and contend that it's unnatural for me to deny my roots. Everything I know about my birth mother I learned from a letter that my adoption agency sent to me when, as a curious college sophomore, I requested non-identifying information about the people who gave me life. "Our records indicate that your birth mother was a 28-year-old, single Jewish woman. Because she came to us very late in her pregnancy, our record is scanty. However, we do know that she was a woman of superior intelligence who attended one of the better colleges for one years before she dropped out." The letter goes on to present a psychological portrait of a confused young woman and concludes by informing me that "her decision to relinquish you was a carefully considered one, make in the hope that you could have the security and stability of family living, which she could not provide." Thirty years have passed since this woman selflessly granted me a promising future. I feel no bitterness, only gratitude. Although I have no desire to find her, I often with I could plant a thought in her brain: The child you bore is healthy and happy; you did the right thing. Adoption search organizations promote the idea that reunion should be every adoptee's goal. The oldest of these groups is the Adoptee's Liberty Movement Association (ALMA), founded in 1971 by Florence Fisher, who spent 20 years tracking down her own birth mother. "I would have killed to open my records, to find her," says Fisher. "There is no way that anybody on this earth could have stopped me." She describes the day she finally met her birth mother as "even more exciting than my wedding or the days I gave birth to my two children." All adoptees, she insists, suffer from lifelong separation anxiety that can only be alleviated by a reunion. One of ALMA's goals is to unseal confidential adoption records. (Records have already been opened in four states, and there are mutual-consent registries for situations where both parties are searching.) ALMA's own search registry helps adoptees find their birth parents. Some ALMA members go so far as to hire private detectives. "Your birth mother was 28 years old, not a confused 16-year-old kid," says Lifton (who is not affiliated with ALMA, but whose book, Lost and Found, is something of a bible for many of its members) during our phone conversation. "She could have kept you, but she didn't." Then she condescendingly informs me that I'm still "somewhere in the process" and that my need to meet and talk with my birth mother will surface when I'm more evolved. This sentiment is everywhere. Talk shows feature tearful reunions where adoptees meet their birth mothers and suddenly feel—for the first time in their lives—whole. Of course, adoptees who need to search make for better television than those of us who are content. When people learn that I'm adopted, they invariably ask if I've found my "real parents" yet. If only these well-meaning people realized that I've always known my real parents. They are the ones who took me home as a tiny, sickly baby and who fed, educated and supported me—not out of charity, but because I'm their child. The man and woman who conceived me, on the other hand, were two people haphazardly creating life; they clearly were not ready to bear the responsibility of nurturing it. Now, I'm not going to say that I never fantasized about my birth parents while I was growing up. I remember being riveted to reruns of The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour at age 7, convinced that the stars were my parents. I envied Chastity, their sunny blond daughter, because she was taking my place onstage. Childhood dreams behind me, I have serious reasons for not searching. When my birth mother gave me up for adoption, she signed a confidentiality notice. Do I really want to violate her privacy? Fisher says, "Any mother who wants this privacy is beneath contempt." But I disagree. Maybe my birth mother harbors deep shame about giving up a child and has never told anyone. Or perhaps she has a family of her own and is not ready to begin a new parent-child relationship. There is also the

Answer: I agree with you. The only reason I'd be interested would be if there was some medical condition I would need my family history. These days they can do "gene testing" to determine what diseases you could carry to your children or you could have as you age. I think finding birth parents is up to the individual.

Question: Question about confidentiality of references? Hi everyone. I was just wondering, if someone put you down as a reference for their adoption application, is what you tell the agency confidential or will the agency tell the couple who gave them a negative reference? I may be getting contacted soon and I will not be putting in a good word, but I admit I am a bit nervous since the couple is also family, so I'd like to be prepared ahead of time since this could get messy. Thanks. We were not told we were put as a reference until after the fact, which I find irksome. But I will speak my mind if contacted, the adoption agency may do what they wish with it from there. Thanks for your answers everyone.

Answer: NO, what you write in that report is NOT relayed to the family; I know that for a fact. Please be as honest as possible as some child's life may depend on it. You can say whatever is on your mind---it IS CONFIDENTIAL.

Question: in cases of adoption, are adoptive parents informed about the identity of biological parents? ? or biological parents may also alter their name or keep it confidential to adoptive parents?

Answer: I find it odd to think that a BIOLOGICAL parent would ever choose to alter their identity. I suppose it happens sometimes. I'll tell you what happened in MY adoptive family. When I was 8, my a-parents got a call to adopt another baby. We loaded up the car and drove one state away to 'pick up' the child. The baby we were 'getting' took her time in arriving and was born 3 days after her due date, so we spent 3 days mostly sitting around a hotel room waiting. ***Here's the interesting part*** My ADOPTIVE parents registered in the hotel under FALSE NAMES in order to keep the 'trail' cold in case anyone (who that would be other than her parents -- I don't know) came looking for "OUR" baby. UGH! I was one of three children at the time (two adopted, one bio) and we were grilled ENDLESSLY not to tell anyone our real names while we were 'there' -- in the city and state where my little sister (also adopted) was born. So, in our case, it wasn't about the biological parents at all -- it was the ADOPTIVE parents that were perpetrating all the lies, deception and secrecy. MY Mom, the NATURAL one (the one you call "biological") never changed her name, identity, or any information about her or my father. She also kept all her personal and contact information updated with every adoption search support and reunion registry or organization she knew of or could find throughout my life -- starting when I was 13, which is when she told my siblings (her kept kids) about me. They were all younger. I just never understand why so many people think it is NATURAL families that are hiding their identities -- and ours (the adoptees) -- when, in my experience, all the lying and deceiving and selfishness happened in the ADOPTIVE family. *sigh* Take care!

Question: courtroom request? is it possible to have your last name confidential and not mentioned during an adoption case in a courtroom? (adopting a little girl to become the legal father being that i may be marrying the daughter's mother) I wouldnt want the biological father to know my last name for security reasons. Any last name can easily be found. that is unfortunate but it looks like there is not a choice then. it has to be done regardless

Answer: I don't believe so but you might be able to get the transcript of the courtroom sealed so he can't read it.

Question: Georgia states I need to hire an attorney to find out if my son was adopted.? I need to find out if he was adopted, I checked with the county clerk and found no records of a name change,. I get this email from Foryth County Clerk:I am sorry for your troubles. In Georgia, all adoption records are sealed and confidential, and can only be opened through a Superior Court judge's court order. You will need to contact an attorney and file a case to get a hearing before a judge. But am paying child support why do I need to pay for an attorney. Any advise..Thanks..

Answer: If he was adopted, you would not be paying child support.

Question: How do people feel about pro-life/adoption bumper stickers.? Driving home from work I seen a truck that had a bumper sticker that said: Pregnant, scared, confused call 972-baby-due I googled the number here is there web site: http://www.prolifedallas.org/pages/pregn… Pregnant? Confused? Need Help? You are not alone! Call 972-BABY DUE ( 972-222-9383 972-222-9383 ) for free counseling. Your life is not the same. You’re pregnant and probably feeling pretty alone and frightened. So many decisions! Right now you need a friend you can depend on and trust. Someone who can help you face the emotional and spiritual challenges that come with your decisions. Someone who will listen and support you, who’ll stand by you during, and even after, your pregnancy. You care about your life and your future and someone else cares too. That “someone” is a Gabriel Angel. Gabriel Angels are God’s special messengers of hope for you and your baby. Angels aren’t there to judge you but to encourage and guide. They’ll learn about you and your special needs and counsel with you about your life choices. Best of all, they’ll be your constant Prayer Companions as you journey to motherhood. Project Gabriel is an outreach of the Catholic Pro-Life Committee of the Dallas Diocese. For the love of God’s children, trained volunteers from our parishes, called “Gabriel Angels,” provide emotional support to women like you facing crisis pregnancies. Their help is caring personal and confidential. Your Gabriel Angel is your guide, mentor and friend. She’s there to: Listen to your concerns Pray with you and for you Foster your relationship with God Encourage your confidence in making good decisions Share birthing, parenting and adoption information Help you plan for your health, lifestyle and future Help with transportation to doctor’s visits, baby sitting, etc. Life is God’s greatest gift. Life is what we proclaim and celebrate. Life is the reason for our faith. This sign is evidence of our faith in action. Testimonies “I couldn’t believe that someone I didn’t even know would care about me and my baby.” “My Angel doesn’t criticize me; she just listens and offers suggestions. Someday maybe I can help another girl just like my Gabriel Angel helped me.” “People said I didn’t love my baby if I chose to place him for adoption. My Gabriel Angel helped me to see I did the right thing. I knew it all along.” Question: Would you say that they are truly offering help reading their message on their web site or just looking for babies for adoption?

Answer: The pro-lifers are a group of the most idiotic people ever. Hell, even their group name implies that anyone who doesn't agree with them is pro-death. Hey, I'm for proper sex education, and abortion/adoption (completely up to the woman) as a last resort. But wait, I don't say anything about pro-life, I must be pro-death... Oh and good job people, lets have the GOVERNMENT tell us what we can do with our own bodies... What next? Alcohol? Fast food? Cigarettes? Each one of those causes more casualties than abortions (although legally a fetus prior to 24 weeks is NOT considered alive according to the law, but hey I'll give it to ya)... yeah real damn smart...

Question: Sperm Banks? The reason I am asking this in the adoption section, is that I want other adoptees opinions on sperm banks. I am leery about them because I think that some of these children will eventually want to meet their biological fathers just like many adoptees do, but these biological fathers could have as many as ten babies out there... sometimes more, and they are even less likely to want to be found than many biological parents in the case of adoption. Do you think there should be rules about "open sperm banks", especially concerning health information? AKA even if the biological father can remain confidential, he will have to provide updated health information that can be relayed to the mother and child?

Answer: I think they should be illegal.

Question: what should I do about this situation? I am giving my child up for adoption. When I first was unsure if adoption was the choice for me my mom set up this appointment with a "counselor" she said.. the lady was nice and told us that everything my boyfriend and i said was confidential. a week later i find out she had told my mother everything we said and told my mom that she said "since her boyfriend is 18 and she is 17, she is a minor and what she say's isn't confidential" and that isnt what she told us! and I later find out she's a "adoption specialist" i stopped seeing her then i find these parents and they choose her to do the paper work. i was upset, but since she was just doing paper work I was fine with it. now she is telling my parents a different story and telling my boyfriend and i another thing. example: since my bf lives out of town she said she was traveling up there so they could have a meeting for signing papers, he later then tells me that she "forgot her paper work" ... she is now telling my mother that she showed up but my bf didn't.

Answer: First off, you don't have to stick with this lady. There are plenty of agencies who are willing to help you out. I actually know of an agency that's in Indiana that my friend placed through. She felt really good about how they treated her and the family she placed with. Email me if you want their info. (i'd have to ask her the name of it) Your Mom doesn't have to be involved with this whole process at all. This is completely YOUR decision, you are the one that will be signing your rights away, not her. I would contact another agency and do it on your own, not through her. You are doing a very selfless and noble thing for your child. It takes a lot of love and maturity to do what is right for your child and not just what won't hurt you. One thing to note: some of these agencies do more than just adoptions, they do counseling for other issues, etc. just because their title is "adoption specialist" doesn't mean that's all they do, sometimes it just means that they are the only one in their office that even does adoptions. I hope this helps. Let me know if I can help you out anymore, I know this is a stressful time for you. Best wishes.

Question: i got a violation on yahoo answers, its unfair!!!? this is the question someone asked, and this is the answer i gave them. Question: how much, where, how, are abortions? Question Details: im and student. and am looking for a place for an abortion. are there any places in melbourne where you can get it for cheap or free? and how do they do it? is it confidential? cheers. and i dont want people saying to go through with it and put it up for adoption. thanks seriously im 16, im not going to go through with having a baby, i still have a life to live and fullfill. and yes i know there are people out there that cant have one. thats not my fault. and neither is getting pregnant. we used protection each time. and im not accualy sure if i am or not, but me and my boyfriend are worried that i am. ive had a pregnacy test two days ago, showed that i wasnt. but my period hasnt come for a while. so i want to know this information just in case. thanks Deleted Answer: im sure you are looking for this answer. your sick if you get an abortion, if you dont want a kid you should have not had sex, or used protection. its your fault not the kids, and yes it is a baby and still is life, it has a heart beat. anything that has a heart beat is alive and can feel pain. your selfish *** should have this baby, pain and all and give it up for adoption. abortions are horrible, and people who get them are worthless!! so get over your dumbass mistake and give this little person a chance. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD GO THOUGH WITH IT! YOU WENT THROUGH WITH SEX NOT THINKING ABOUT THE OUTCOME, DIDNT YOU? why dont you look up abortion, see what they really do to the pregnancy, and you pro-choice people out there? you think this baby has a choice, NO! think about it what if your mom did an abortion on you, arent you glad she didnt. look up abortion, look at the horrible pictures, tell me if you can still go on with it? why dont you get an ultrasound done first, listen to that heartbeat, then tell me you can get it done. you people disgussed ME!!!!!!!!!! well, you know you should use just more than a condom, if your 16 then instead of going to plan parenthood for an abortion you should go to get on birth control. if your old enough to have sex, then you old enough to take all precautions to prevent pregnancy. hopefully you are not pregnancy, and if your not hopefully this is a big enough scare for you to get on BC. and your talking about you having a life to live, what about this baby, you are destroying his/hers before he/she has even taken his/her first breath. Violation Reason:Insulting Other Participants thanks you to the ones that agree. she had put more info to her question i just didn't copy it all. she had also put she has her own life to live and she deserves to be happy and fun. thats what really pissed me off, so that is why i got a little harsh towards the end. im happy to hear im not the only one to get a violation for something like that. thanks for making me feel better about my answer. and seriously why ask a question like that in the pregnancy section? pretty much all of us hear are pregnant or/and have childern, that we love.

Answer: I totally agree with you. I dont know why people ask abortion questions on here. Why dont they just pick up the phone and call planned parenthood themselves to get the answers. I am pro-life as well and I agree with you, and my answers as well have been reported because I stated my own opinion. Which its funny how when the person who asks the question doesnt like the answer they report you. If they cant handle everyone's opinion then they shouldnt be asking questions like that on yahoo answers. So thumbs up for you.

Question: Planned Parenthood San Diego? Ok so im 15 and might be preggers and so might my friend we have decided to goto planned parenthood and get an abortion instead of adoption/or raising it, she lives over in normal heights on Adams and we r gonna go to the one by her to do it, we just have a few questions: *Can we take a prego test there? is it free? *Is the abortion free? *Is it confidential? *I wanna get the implanion birth_control thingie but is it free not just the BC but placing it too? *How far ahead do we have to call to make an appointment? *Will our age be an issue? *Is it safe? *Any tips/advice?

Answer: If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tells them you have no job, no money and no support they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest. 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you. If you are underage it will mostly likely be free and it's always confidential. You have the choice between the pill (which can be taken up to 11weeks, at home or at a friends house) or the vacuum method (in clinic procedure). Personally I used the pill method so I could be at home with my husband but some women want to have the surgical, so it's done and over with when they leave the clinic. You will be financially screened - usually this goes on the honor system, weight/height taken, blood pressure checked, pricked -fingertip- to check for rH factor and anemia, you will receive an ultrasound or sonogram to determine gestational age. You may be asked if you want to view the image, this is up to you. You will receive antibiotics, anti-nausea tabs and pain meds. Take them ALL. You must finish at the very least your course of antibiotics. Follow all aftercare instructions and go back to your after care appt. This last step is vital, you must go back for your aftercare appt! Abortion begins a new menstrual cycle. You should have a regular period in 4 to 8 weeks.you should have the option of receiving birth control - again this will most likely be free, take it and use it correctly. If you are underage you may want to check this site out to see about parental consent laws and whatnot. http://www.sexetc.org/state *Even if it says you need parental consent, you don't. Call PP and tell them you cannot tell your parents; by law, a judicial bypass must be available to those minors who just cannot get their parents/guardians permission. A judge signs the parental consent acting as a de facto guardian. Abortion funding http://www.nnaf.org/help.html Some state medicaid program do pay for it, use this link and figure out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to "welfare" office and get emergency coverage and the state and taxes will help pay for it. http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/c… If you have any more questions or want/need to talk about it drop me an email. It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do. ImNotSorry.net ~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 13 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice. Abortion: There is a Consensus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUv… EDIT EDIT EDIT = This will ask you questions about what you would like out of your birth control and match you up with the one that would work best for you. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/all-ac… Birth Control Implant (Implanon) http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-… But with this method you are NOT protected from STDs , so condoms would still be a must.