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Confidential Intermediary

A position or function that is created or authorized under the provisions of the adoption laws in most states, which refers to an individual who acts on behalf of either an adoptive parent, a birth parent or an adopted child, to attempt to make contact with other members of the adoption triangle, whose identity cannot otherwise be legally established or determined. The confidential intermediary, who can be either a state employee or a trained volunteer, makes contact with the other party or parties in the adoption triangle, with court or other legal approval, and determines the willingness of that party to agree to a full or partial waiver of the confidentiality provisions that would otherwise apply to the adoption.

Question: Has anyone ever hired a CI? Was it worth it? I am thinking about hiring a confidential intermediary to locate my birth mom, has anyone ever done it? and what is it like?

Answer: CI's control the reunion they can make it or break it. Some are in it for the well being and reunion of adoptees, others are paid to keep people out of reunion. Its a huge chance, and i avoid them, but i'm in reunion so its not as important to me anymore. It depends on what other avenues you have tried and what you are willing to risk. I have seen both parties who wanted a reunion and the CI told each that the other didn't. I have also seen CI's who pay out of their own pocket to make the reunions happen. It is the luck of the draw you may get a good one, and you could get one who acts good, but is really stabbing you in the back to protect the corrupted adoption industry. Its a huge risk. I dont believe that adoptees need any type of mediator in adoption reunions or records access. Its a violation of our rights. But when you're desperate for medical information, or record access or reunion, sometimes we take desperate measures. If you're in Indiana, don't use them. They don't have good ones to the best of my knowledge. Stay away from Katrina. Utah is pretty freaky too. Good luck to you :)

 


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