Family Preservation

Question: Does anyone know which businesses support family preservation or guardianship programs? I see lots of businesses that donate to/support adoption programs but I would like to know which businesses support/donate to family preservation or guardianship programs instead of adoption programs. Does anyone know of any? To clarify, I am looking for businesses that donate to these programs, NOT the programs themselves.

Answer: MamaKate, You have gotten some rather flip responses, but there are really precious few companies that work to keep mother and baby together, or contribute to programs that provide services to mothers. There are few non profits that do that work. There is a program here where I live that has a home for pregnant teens who have been kicked out of their homes or are homeless. If they are considering adoption, they are not allowed to stay there. It is strictly for unwed mothers who want to parent. It is sponsored by Catholic Charities, and there is a short list of companies locally that back it. One that I know of for sure is Raba Kistner Consultants, Inc, an engineering firm. I will call them tomorrow and see what companies contribute. I will also make it a point to notify the companies that support them that I approve and they will receive my business.

Question: What is the difference between SCOH services and Family Preservation services? How does child welfare guidelines explain the difference between Services for Children in their own Home (SCOH) and Family Preservation Services? I was offered both yet my social worker refused to explain the difference. Thank you.

Answer: Family Preservation: see link below SCOH (Services to Children in their Own Homes): see links below

Question: why not abolish adoption and have family preservation? there must be someone, somewhere in the family that can help the mother. so why not support the child remaining in the family?

Answer: While adoption will always be necessary in a small amount, you're right, it should be avoided at all costs. But it's not a goal because attorneys & agencies make money off the backs of infants, and there is a big demand for the 'product' right now. I just read in the paper today that cell phones might cause infertility in men! More babies needed to fill those homes!

Question: Where can I find true stories with happy ending about family preservation?

Answer: Try stories from the soul. Just Google it.

Question: Catholic Community Services / Family Preservation? Tell me, in detail, of your experience with this "wraparound service". I need to make some huge and permanent decisions. Best answer gets 10 points, or course, but if you have not had this experience, do not answer please.

Answer: I guess I am not sure what you mean, but as an employee of the Church, I can tell you that Catholic Charites counseling services does their best to protect women and children and preserve families where it is possible.

Question: How valid is the Law of self Preservation in family relations,? In the face of mortal danger is it everyone for themselves or would you attempt to save your partner at possible grave risk to yourself. Can you answer honestly.

Answer: I've asked my self this question in the past and I can say with total conviction that I would give my life for my son and my wife. that rhymed.

Question: why so much anti-family preservation? not EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON. in the child's family is a drug user, abusive or poor. so why are so many against family preservation?

Answer: Because the corrupt adoption industry is a multi-billion dollar machine that has brainwashed much of society. Also, too many people are wrapped up in their own little worlds to give much thought or care to the plight of others.

Question: Question for Adoptees - Family Preservation? I know this is an off the wall questions and completely hypothetical but I was wonder what other adoptees opinion on this is. My girlfriend's step-sister is in jail for the next six months and my gf has legal guardianship for her 4 year old daughter until she get out of lock-up. Now lets say my gf's step-sis had screwed up big time and was sentenced for say 20 years. Here's my question, she gave my gf legal guardianship if anything happened to her, but they are not biological relatives. She has several biological relatives who could watch her daughter but she doesn't get alone with any of them and most are pretty dysfunctional. While I am for family preservation first and legal guardianship/adoption only if no immediate family members are available, should this included adopted/step-family member who do not share a biological tie? Would any of you taken in a family member's child on your adoptive family side? Would you prefer that the child is raised by their biological family members? If the child's parent had asked you to be the legal guardian or you felt you would raise the child as they would have preferred, would this affect your decision? If so, what if you had a falling out with your adoptive side and the biological relatives would have limited to no contract with the child? I've been up lately unable to sleep due to a tragedy over the holidays that's making sleep pretty difficult. Thanks to my insomnia, I came up with some pretty crazy questions, hence how this one came up. Personally if any of my cousins on the adoptive side asked me to be their children legal guardian, I would agree. I've known my cousins all of my life, we share a past history and I know what they would have wanted for their children. I'm also close with most of my adoptive side of the family, so the children would know their biological relatives. But I was wonder on what other adoptees think, is it okay for adopted adults to become legal guardian's on the adoptive families side or should we step aside and let the biological family members have custody?

Answer: Your question is not crazy, nor hypothetical. My son, whom I was forced to surrender in the baby scoop era, was adopted into a terribly abusive situation, and he was in need of a different home. As the abuse escalated, other members of his adoptive family became aware and finally got him out of the 'dwelling" (I can't call it a home) that he shared with adoptive mother and her second husband. Because of their intervention, he survived that situation. But, the damage, both physical and emotional, was permanent. After we were re-united, I found out about all of this. He also indicated to me that he wished I could have helped him. With a closed adoption, I had no right to know he was in trouble, and I had no right to even know his name, or that of his adoptive family. I think there needs to be a way for all relatives, including bio, to be contacted when the adoptive home fails the child. People need to be aware that adoptive children can be abused, and even killed. Bio-relatives may be in a place to help. I certainly was in a position to help my son, but I had no way of knowing. . I have taken my son's story to the state legislature and have some support there. These kinds of issues happen more often than people realize.

Question: In the interest of family preservation, what do you believe...? to be the limits on help (not just financial, but social, mental, etc.) for parents who have lost custody of their children to the state? Do we need to draw a line in the sand to prevent "incentivizing" (not my words) child-rearing? At what point is the parent "on their own" and should help be continually offered even if it is not utilized, or no efforts are made to regain custody? 7rin-Of course! But if help is being offered but refused...?

Answer: I don't believe that family preservation is something that can be entirely externally imposed, even by the well-meaning, if the family is TRULY indifferent and unwilling. It just doesn't work. The ultimate responsibility for a child is on the mother and father, not someone else. Others-- the government, the community, the extended family and friends-- have a responsibility be there to offer resources and help, including encouragement and emotional support, NOT to replace the role of the parents in actually being the primary caretaker and provider in the longterm, if the parents are maintaining intact parental rights. Parents shouldn't be bribed to care for their own children. They shouldn't HAVE to be. It's not about wanting to keep your child like a possession, it's about wanting to PARENT your child. A mother or father can't deliberately reject parental responsibilities, and still demand parental rights. Now, I do believe strongly in offering support. I believe in financial help and welfare-- but it should be temporary, with the goal of getting the family out of crisis and into a more permanent situation so they can be independent. I believe in offering mental health counseling, job training, parenting classes, and employment opportunities. I believe in providing support that is empowering. That encourages parents toward being able to take full responsibility themselves someday, to the extent their physical and mental abilities allow. Even the toughest generational poverty should be challenged, not just accepted as the status quo or the life a family is doomed to, even if only babysteps at a time are possible. I do NOT believe in aid that promotes perpetual dependence. I do NOT believe in aid that keeps the family permanently reliant on someone else, whether the government or another individual. That weakens families, and weakens the community, by producing whole generations of people who are incapable of fending for themselves, or teaching their children a healthier pattern either. I don't believe in aid that destroys pride, or enables people to coast along forever at less than their full competence. Adults should not be made into perpetual children; they should be encouraged to step up to the degree they are able, as soon as they can, even if they aren't able to be fully independent yet. Social services can't forcibly keep families together if the parents have no motivation to actually parent. They can only offer resources to help families keep themselves together-- and they SHOULD be offering those resources, promptly and comprehensively. If the family is unable to at least make a basic effort, though, the government can't do it all for them. I don't think there's one firm line in the sand. Parents have different levels of ability, and are coming out of different levels of crisis. I think it's less about needing one standard timeline or specific aid package, than needing parents to show continued effort on their children's behalf. If they aren't make that effort, their parental rights should be terminated so their children can have the security, permanence, and care that they need.

Question: Center for Family Preservation Services: What services would you include? *** PLEASE NOTE: By Family Preservation, I mean all kinds of families! Biological, Adoptive, Divorced, Etc.!!! Please don't get your kickers in a twist!*** If someone were planning to build a center for family services in your area, what types of services would you like to see offered? Reproductive Education? Financial Services? Legal Assistance? Safe Exchange Programs? Classes on Ethical Adoptions? Mediation Services? Mentor Mommy Volunteers? Referrals for things lie DV, low-cost medical care etc.? Court/Medical Advocate Programs? Reunification Assistance? These are some of the ones on my list. What is on yours? I am brainstorming and am looking for as many answers as you can come up with! Even if they are silly - this board can always use a little extra humor!! ;) Please be nice! Thank you!

Answer: Visit families in their own homes to offer support, friendship and practical assistance Reassure parents that their childcare problems are not unusual or unique Encourage parents' strengths and emotional well-being for the ultimate benefit of their children Trying to get the fun back into family life Precious time for listening and talking Help with the children A break for parents Practical help and reassurance A chance to meet other parents in the same boat Support to use local services and resources ETA: Nice pic, Alyssa - very you!

Question: Was the Family Preservation and Reconciliation Act of 2007 passed (enacted) by congress?

Answer: I believe it was, IT'S JUST A FEEL GOOD ACT FOR THEM.CONGRESS. NOT FOR FAMILIES.

Question: well their's a family preservation social worker whom comes out to my house to see me and my kids which is no w being court-order base on my mentally challenged daughter lying on me bacause she wants to see her sister and brother in a foster home which is not gonna happen and of course people ask why would she lie like that and she because she wants to be the only one at home! so when this lady comes out to my house oooh you always looks nice,ooh what;s wrong with your one daughter hair? I said well her hair is short by genetics and my mentally challenge has long hair but when you braid her own hair she takes right back down and yes that becomes tiredsome trying tomake someone with mind level of preschool understand what it is to look beautiful she's 5'10 100 an pretty.But for my other daughter she has very short, i have used everything regarding black people products it's not workling? can this lady be jealous of me she is 60 myears old and i am 34 but 19 years old with 4 kids!

Answer: I think you are the mentally challenged one! Maybe you should have paid attention in school instead of spitting out kids!

Question: a good thesis statement comparing family commitment and self preservation? my friend was asking me for help but idk...he said it needs to explain the balance between self preservation & the love of your family. so if anybody can help me i'd really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… thanks :]

Answer: Self-preservation can rely on balance because without a good, nurturing family, how can anyone live on and thrive? A family's love can theoretically heal someone's soul, make them more motivated to work and do what they like to do, and bring them to their best potential. If your friend has a good book as an example it would be even better, but there are many connections that can be made about these two themes.

Question: Have you ever heard of the Family Preservation and Reconcilation Act? You can read about on this website. http://awarenessquilt.blogspot.com/ As you have read on this site it is purposed to 110th Congress to be put to vote for a Bill in the 2nd Session. What do you think of this bill?

Answer: i'm for keeping children with their parents whenever possible, but there are cases of child endangerment that hit the news every day! "Mother drowns kids, blames post-partum depression" "Father microwaves 2 month old" let the courts and psycologists do their jobs. we are not all of us social workers, and sometimes extreme measures are necessary to protect the life, safety and well-being of a child.

Question: what does does "self-preservation versus family commitment" mean? its from the book NIGHT by elie wiesel. and it one of the fou themes in the book. what did he mean about that phrase (please explian in a easy to understand way, need results fast.)

Answer: I read the book ten years ago, but don't remember it, so I can't apply it here. I would think the quote means choosing between saving yourself or staying loyal to your family. Like, an example would be setting boundaries with your dysfunctional family even when you've been raised that family is the ultimate thing.

Question: does family preservation always mean? anti-adoption?

Answer: On Y!A, yes, that's what it means. As I've said here many times, unless the parents are abusive, addicts, or profoundly neglectful, I believe everything possible should be done to keep the family together. That IS what's best for the child. As inconceivable as it is to me, there are people who still believe these infants should be whisked away and raised by strangers. It's bizarre, I know.

Question: What are your thoughts on this article about a family preservation program in Tanzania? This article is about a program in Tanzania which focuses on children like David Banda and Mercy James. (Children without mothers but who have fathers/siblings/extended family.) This program's focus is to help care for the child and reunite them with their biological families rather than allow them to be adopted or remain institutionalized after experiencing the death of the mother (which is a common problem). It not only provides for the child but also educates a family member to care for the child while in the program. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/25/world/… What are your thoughts on this program? Do you think programs like this will spread? Would you personally support a program like this?

Answer: I think it's awesome. My only question is, why are they called orphans if just one parent died? If they have a living parent who wants them, why call them orphaned? They are not orphans. They are families in need of care for their children. For some reason, I think by calling them orphans, it gains more respect from teh international community. Anyway, whatever they call it, it's great for the families, children and parents.

Question: Family Preservation and Family Support Services? What is this? They provide housing??? They are to keeping babies with their parents????? How can i find out about this in my state.

Answer: Here are some links for you - hope they don't get cut off when I post them ;) This is an organization run by women who have lost their children to adoption and who are very pro- keeping natural families together. http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/ This is a federal program, which you would likely be eligible for http://www.cms.hhs.gov/MedicaidEligibili… http://motherhelp.info/keepingyourchild.… http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_fa… http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd… http://www.girl-mom.com/ I lost my child to adoption in 1984. These are links to a couple of answers I posted about my experience. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;… http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;… good luck!

Question: For those of you who advocate family preservation over adoption...? I've read a lot of questions and answers in the adoption forum from people who say that, if they'd been given the choice, they'd have chosen their birth mothers over their adoptive families. That's fine. I was not adopted so I don't know how those people feel. What I want to know is: what are those people doing to help preserve families worldwide? Do any of you sponsor children in other countries through organizations like Christian Children's Fund? It's not an adoption agency; it provides food and education to children who desperately need it. Are you sponsoring some of these kids so that they aren't adopted or do you just like to complain? Magic: your answer was thoughtful and kind. I think it's great that you do those things! My question was asked in kind of a snarky way (I realized that after I published it) but you weren't snarky at all. Aloha to you! Gershom: You just assume that I don't care about your answers but I wouldn't have posted a question if I didn't want to hear what others have to say. As for what I do, thanks for asking. I'm a single mother to a child I adopted from foster care -- not that that should matter, but apparently it does to many of you -- and I work full time. I donate food items year round and gifts at Christmas -- all for people who wouldn't otherwise have those things. However, if you had read my question you would see that I am asking for answers from people who are pro family preservation and not adoption. I am obviously pro-adoption since I adopted my son. The county and the courts attempted several times to reunite my son with his birth mother but were unable to. Is family preservation always best? No. And that is why children like my son are adopted. Sunny: Well, isn't that wonderful of you! Supporting the family you made. I made my family too, though my child wasn't born to me. I guess in your eyes that makes me someone who lusts after others' babies. Please. As for having car washes and bake sales, what are you talking about? Who does that? I don't and I don't know anyone else who does either...unless it's a junior high school group trying to earn money to go to Washington D.C. Please educate yourself about religion and birth control. Not ALL religions are anti-birth control. You may not be a Christian and that's your choice, but don't generalize by saying that Christianity does not support birth control.

Answer: Yes I do, I sponsor children in underdeveloped countries and also support the charity friends of chernobyl children. I also volunteer here at home to help families with the support they need to parent and stay together, I visit families both in their homes and also at a weekly 'family group' to help give the support needed to help parents 'get it together' as you say I'm not anti-adoption, I do believe it is necessary in some circumstances. I am anti unnecessary adoption if you know what I mean and I definitely think urgent reform is needed in the US adoption practices to prevent unnecessary adoption (you know the kind - obtaining children to supply the demand type of adoption tactics) And Freedom - I don't believe in letting children suffer either. I think the work you are doing is wonderful. I happen to believe that I am doing my bit too so that last comment was uncalled for, self-righteous and nasty, please get over yourself. Oh and like Sunny I am supporting a family of my own

Question: Modern family values, patriotism, religion: mutual preservation perversion? I just read a Gandhi quote:"The World is my family." The group mentality family values and patriotism establish distances people. The more some are European and others American the more wasteful we are of the [other] group. If we were all people or Gaians (if a name feels better) instead, we'd be content in helping each other. But, now we seek contént by pointing at small odds between us. In the end, we have our mutual enemy, death. Feeling different will never grant different rules regarding it. There are only guesses about after-death, if you are following a guess, spend a month finding mistakes in it before you spend a life relying on it. Your car is going to come to a cliff sooner or later, don't just feel where the bridge is. You're not magical. Oh, the question? Just respond to my text. There is no need to from a question to share knowledge. To Lee FunGrandma: As in the context, you have a guess of where the bridge might be, how much time have you spend scrutinizing the guess before you decided it was the real deal? If you are serious about just might being the right thing, how open are you to doubt? Because you can't try to prove it right before you first fail to prove it wrong.

Answer: Not magical at all. But have a hope that Jehovah God allowed us to have. The most well know scripture in the bible. John 3:16. So that we might have ever lasting life. I seek that. And Jehovah put us on this earth to live forever. Our body reproduces and rejuvenates its cells for a reason. How many people would give their children up for people they don't know, and people they know are not christians? Yet, Jehovah God did. And His son did so with love for his Father and for us. He suffered so much for us. And yes, we as a family being Jehovah's Witnesses do help each other and others as well. This is one reason why you have JW's coming to your door and will not give up. They want you to be able to live forever. Have a great day!