Grief

Question: Grief................. I lost my sister last year, this month (August) is when she died. It really affected me deeply, for about 6-8 months after she died but then I seemed to pick back up but today I feel terrible and so lost and have no energy at all, is this normal because it is coming around for the 1st anniversary or do you think it could be related to something else ? Thank you.

Answer: The best thing you can do is to let go. You will never forget a passed loved one, but you have no choice but to carry on and live your life to the full. I'm sure that's what your sister would want and expect. Don't feel guilty about feeling better, no matter how much or how little time has past. It's an old cliche, but time really does heal. Good luck.

Question: grief.................................… how long does it take to stop crying, ive been crying for the past week, tonight for 3 hours non-stop, when i go out i can feel myself overwhelmed by emotion and tears coming into my eyes. How long does this stage take, when i can not feel so vulnerable, and start to take control over my actions?

Answer: There is no limit...you will grieve as long and as hard as your emotions make you. I still grieve for my Father and my Sister. I always will, it is just less often that my eyes suddenly fill with tears when I realise just how much I miss them. I do not regret this though...it is one of the most human things we can ever do.

Question: How long does grief last and what are the stages? My former wife recently committed suicide. I asked a question about this already. But, I am running all over the place with emotion and grief. What are the stages of grief as I am hurting.

Answer: I lost my best friend of nearly 30 yrs. a few days ago. I was trying to fall asleep last night and I was trying to remember them as well. I know they at least include denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance and depression, but there might be another one and I am unsure of the order. At times like this it is hard to think of anything very clearly. From my own heart right now, I can relate to both denial and bargaining. I am so very sorry for your loss and I would suggest looking them up online and I will do the same. I would also offer you this, all the pain we go through in life is for a purpose. We often times are not able to make much sense of it all, but it does not change the fact that there is always a bigger picture. If you are interested, here is a link to a really cool video that helped me a great deal a year or so ago, back when my life was in a miserable place. I wish you only the best as you heal from losing someone I am sure was very special to you. Peace.......River

Question: How do you get rid of grief, sorrow and depression? My beloved dog, Blondie died 2 weeks ago, and the grief is unbearable. How is the best way to deal with grief? She died a horrible death.

Answer: Seek out other pet owners who will understand your loss and minimize contact with those who do not. It just takes time...remember the good times as Blondie wouldn't like it if you are sad over her. it'll take time and you will look back upon her memory and smile. It is still very soon and the pain is still to raw for a new pet. I wouldn't rush out and get a new pet yet. You will know when it is time for a new little friend.

Question: How can you help relieve the pain and grief of losing a spouse? How could you handle this grief, words, time,friends hugging you, a stranger grief support group? When together over 40 yrs, how can one adjust not having that person around. Is it normal to want another companion, is it disloyalty to the spouose of so many years? Does it help overcome the lonliness, or just feel guilty?

Answer: Some funeral homes / mortuaries provide to the family the possibility of seeing a grief counselor as a part of their services. Christian ministers are also willing to speak with you about your grief and the types of questions you ask. I agree, the pain can be intense. Sometimes in our effort to not feel the pain we push away the very people and moments that others come to offer support or prayers. As hard as it seems at the moment, when you will allow even one or two people into your trust to simply sit nearby, it can take the edge off the loneliness of being alone in the house. Desiring a companion's presence is very normal. Marrying quickly, though, making permanent decisions during a time of intense grief may be misguided and a poor choice. Do find an old friend and appreciate each other's company as the next year passes so you can heal.

Question: What are the requirements to become a grief counselor? I am wanting a career change(mid-life crisis I suppose) since I will be having a milestone birthday later this year. I feel a strong pull towards grief counseling but do not know where to begin. My pastor says I should be looking for a program that is faith-based. Can anyone give me some suggestions?

Answer: My auntie went to leeds university for two years for a dipolma in counselling, and stayed an extra year for a degree in it, and you can THEN go on to get a diploma in a pecifin type of counselling if you wish. http://www.leeds.ac.uk/about/index.htm Uni websites are so ******** hard to get around, i find this with manchester and nottingham's sites too. :/ There are no legal minimum qualifications needed to be a counsellor, but it does help if you want to increase ur employability. And secondly, *Counsellor, correct spelling could help :) Follow this link for imformation on a DIPLOMA IN GRIEF COUNSELLING *Edit Open college is a good option, so u can continue your current career in order to earn, until the course is over. http://www.opencollege.info/bereavementc… Faith based grief counsellors would be involved with the church alot, does that sound like something you could do? What you need to become a counsellor Competence in the practice of counselling skills, counselling and psychotherapy depends on the following: Knowledge of theory Grasp of practical skills Specific personal qualities A number of different activities contribute to the development of the above: Training courses Experience in ’client contact’ situations Supervision (reviewing what you have covered during client contact with a more experienced practitioner or your peers) Personal therapy (with you as the client - whether one to one or in a group) Sound like someone you could become? Then try this site, it will find a suitable course near your area and you can take it from there. Good luck! xx http://www.bacp.co.uk/information/educat…

Question: What is the best way to deal with grief from the death of your pet? My ant was recently stepped on, and I cannot get past the grief. What are some good ways I can deal with the troublesome days? I cannot just get another, I miss Mr. Ant. Mr. Ant is not a cat.

Answer: Jeez, why are people being so mean, maybe he was really close to him and really is feeling sad, well i think you should just go to whoever stepped on him and chop there leg off, its kinda like the "eye for an eye" thing but a lil different and more meaningful, dont kill them right away, you gotta make them suffer and feel your greif, that usually works for me.......good luck in your hard times

Question: What are some songs to help cope with grief from losing a mother? I lost my mom when i was just a baby, but right now has been so hard for me. I miss her like crazy. ): Do you know of any songs that could help with my grief?

Answer: Happy songs !

Question: How does grief of a death influences a child's social development? I am currently undergoing a year 12 subject in Early childhood and am looking for a public opinion on the affect of grief and loss and the social and emotional development of Children.

Answer: I think it depends on the age of the child and how well they had known the deceased. My son, now 15, has been to many funerals as a child with his grandparents. He has been affected by any of them. But now in his teens, he seems effected by the news of anyone dying. He understands death more now. We are Catholic and believe in God and Heaven. We pray for the deceased. But that sometimes doesn't give us comfort. I think it's natural for a child to be affected by death. In their social development, maybe they don't want to get close to others in case they die. then they feel the death won't be too hard on them. My son is constantly asking me about my will and where he would go if I died before he turns 18. He seems, on the outside, more concerned about himself and my dying. But I think he is scared of me dying while he is still a child. We are close.

Question: What would be a healthy way to deal with grief? There has been deaths in past few years at my school, and recently there is a chance of one happening again, a girl at my school is in a hospital in Boston from a car crash and she honestly might not survive. We are keeping the hopes up but still, everyone is being very emotional about it. What would be a healthy way to deal with grief?

Answer: When I was in high school, we lost a few students, too. 3 guys died in a car accident on the way home from school. One guy died of leukemia. Another had an undiagnosed heart condition and collapsed during gym class, his parents ended life support the next day. With each of these deaths, the school held prayer meetings in the court yard, and had open invitations to the counselor's offices to anyone that needed to talk to someone. I didn't know any of the people that died, so while I sympathized with the families, I didn't grieve. But, I heard that the prayer meetings and talking to the counselors really helped those that did know the students.

Question: How much do Grief or marriage Counsellor's make in Canada? My boyfriend is planning to move here and i know he says he wants to be either a marriage or grief counselor and he asked me to look up how much they make and im having a horrible time finding it everytime i look it up it wants me to see one i have found how much they make in the states but not canada so if anyone knows that would be awesome!

Answer: try to google it, or go to the library and find out about it. also ask someone in that profession that might help u. either way, he is better off doing what he prefers instead.!!!

Question: How do you pull off grief in your story? So my main character is going to be separated from her family, but I have no idea how to portray grief without things getting bland/whiny/just plain emo. Anyone have any tips? Please & thanks. :D

Answer: Actions speak louder than words when it comes to displaying emotions of characters. A simple lack of interest in things she used to do before, or constantly thinking about home and family are good ways to display grief. Some friends I had who were normally happy and out going, suddenly became quiet and introverted when they went away for collage and surrounded by nothing familiar. But mentioned before, you don't have to spell grief out for your reader. Subtile things can make more of an emotional impact than having someone cry in a corner.

Question: Is it inappropriate to express grief through dark cynical humour? In the case of MJ's passing, I have felt grief for his life, not for his death. A brilliantly talented and terribly tortured soul,; my response is to make cheap jokes but in my heart I feel sadness, not for his death but for his life. May he find peace!

Answer: People express grief in many ways. You don't have to cry. Humour is one way of dealing with it.

Question: How does a person die from grief? I was just curious as to how someone would die from grief. Does a certain part of the body or mind stop working? Do blood vessels burst? It's a strange concept to me. Does anyone know?

Answer: Grief can create stress severe enough to provoke any of the stress-related illnesses. Severe grief can even produce a physical condition like the shock from physical trauma. Also, the immune system is closely related to our emotional state and can make a person extremely vulnerable to potentially fatal infections, and depression from grief can also be a terribly dangerous problem. In shock, organ systems can shut down as you mentioned, and stress could cause an elevated blood pressure and that could cause stroke or heart attack. You really don't die from grief, but from the fallout it causes in the body.

Question: What will happen if a person is grief-stricken for a very long period? What type of physical problems can an aged person suffer if he/she is grief-stricken for a long period? Will heart problems/stroke become likely? How can such persons be brought to normal mental state?

Answer: s mental disturbances can affect the health status drastically grief can trigger high blood pressure n cause us to hyper ventilate which may result in a cardiac arrest or stroke..best way to relieve stress s to meditate n take things ina lighter vein after all no one is a loser or winner in the end..

Question: Can grief over the death of a loved one cause chronic pain? I have chronic muscle pain and have developed general anxiety with infrequent panic attacks... What is your unbiased opinion on pain and grief over the death of a loved one (in this case my father). Any experiences?

Answer: I don't think it should cause chronic pain. Grief does come in many shapes and forms so while it would be impossible to say no, it is still the least of my guesses. You do have a few things going on and I think you could get some benefit from releasing your muscles in the areas where your pain is located and maybe get some relief from that. Panic attacks have been linked to other body pains, that when the pain level went up on one the other happened which makes sense, if your body is sensing pain it's trying to tell you about it. If interested let me know and send a list of problem areas of pain. I'll get the info back to you shortly after.

Question: What is a good project idea to symbolize grief other than just a poster? im doing a project for school that requires an oral presentation but also a project that goes along with it it. Any ideas, something somewhat easy but really creative to symbolize grief?

Answer: a powerful persuasive film. lol u can do that but then u wnt b able 2 talk. i would do a powerpoint or keynote.

Question: How do you know when you should seek professional grief counseling? Recent passing of my terminally ill Mother has left the technicolor world in which I lived, black-and-white. Has anyone had any good experience with grief counseling in the United States? Any other recommendations for coping?

Answer: I'm really sorry for your loss. What could it hurt to try the counseling? If it helps you then at least you can get some help dealing with this and if it doesn't help then at least you have made an effort. I used to babysit a woman's children every week while she went to grief counseling but it was a group meeting and it really did help her. I would suggest a group counseling so that you can have support from others that actually do understand what you are going through.

Question: How helpful the Psalms of Lament in healing your grief? I have heard that the Psalms of Lament aid people in their journey through grief. Do you experience the advantage? Please share.

Answer: Psalms of Lament are the poems that express rage, frustration, and grief. While in grief myself, I have studied the poems and they helped me to deepen my understanding the human-divine relationship. They also showed me that the best way of healing pain and grief is to face the sorrow rather than avoid it.

Question: How to deal with grief of my late Doggie? Just a week ago I had to put my dog of 16 yrs to rest. I know he is happy in dog heaven and not in pain anymore. But it was so hard, since I had to make the choice to take him to the vet. I wish he was back in ways. I know time will heal, it's a little easier than a week ago. I still have another pup, she is 4 1/2 yrs..and I know she will help me. I am making a scrapbook of my late dog for memories. Any help to work on dealing with my grief? Well.don't laugh..His name was "Muffin"...he looked like a little muffin as a puppy. He was Llasa Poo (Llasa Apso & Poodle). Thanks for your support in this tough time.

Answer: I'm so sorry to hear your sad new. It is always devistating to loose a much loved pet. They give us so much joy while they are with us. Try planting a remember tree or a flower garden as a living reminder of your dear pet. Spending lots of time with your other dog will help you both. I am sure she is missing him too. Your scrap book is a lovely idea. Often talking about it can help to get the sad feelings out of your system faster. But grieve for as long as you need to. It is a natural process. Eventually you will feel less sad.