Permanency Planning

Question: What IS permanency planning, in regards to Social Work? I keep hearing it and really don't know what that is? Thanks!

Answer: permanency planning is a concept in child welfare. It has to do with when a child is removed from the home and placed in foster care. The state (through social workers) must begin permanency planning to avoid the youth remaining in foster care - this can include return to the parents, adoption by a family member or someone outside the family or emancipation. DA

Question: When should the focus change on family reunification to permanency planning for children? There is a tightwalk rope here. Now first if you know me you know I really believe in families staying together if they can....I worked hard and well as a foster parent. My dilemna tonight...and I am not ashamed to admit I have shed many many tears tonight, is that a child was in our home for a year. Their was uncertainty as her parents were not doing anything to better their situation. (drugs) Mom got pregnant again, and cleaned up and we all happily worked together, had the parents in our house and eventually the child went home to parents and new baby. Six months later, back in care were both of them, and alas I had moved provinces and (and thus my adoption journey began) and I was not around to take the placement. One year later it went to court for permanency planning, which is where it is right now. The child will now be four and spent only 9 months in total with her parents, but there is an incredible bond. Her mom, now pregnant with child number three, just went into treatment, and I am sure the court will grant them one more chance. I just feel, for me, for this child, four years in care is too much. Four years of back and forth is too much. I believe this and cry for this child, and really for her family, and for me as well because I miss her. This all said, I just wonder, where is the line....what if this time treatment takes and all is good? What if it doesn't take and then we are on year six? I just wondered others thoughts and please note I am NOT trashing mom's or saying that all First mom's are like this, but in this situation this is what is happening, and I am processing my feelings about it. When I fostered I usually did not become attached, but this child has been in my mind and heart, and I wonder how on earth the courts can make these life altering decisions on when parents rights are terminated. Sigh. Just looking for other stories, wisdom, and maybe just a little bit of encouragement because I am quite saddened, and frankly people in the "real" world may not understand as many of you would. Thanks for listening to my "question". ETA: Grieved as I am, sterilization is soooo NOT the answer. Thank you for the compliment, but remember I LIKE the mom, just know she can't get over her addictions. STerilization? Sad as I am that is just not the answer and goes against everything I believe in.

Answer: Four years is too long. Nine months is too short. In some cases they terminate parental rights too quickly and in other cases the children languish in care as deadbeats are given chance after chance. There appears to be no rhyme or reason to they "why's" of it all. OMFG! I can not believe that someone has just suggested involuntary sterilization! FREAK! Get the woman a good IUD or norplant or some other long term birth control but to suggest someone be sterilized against their will is just revolting.

Question: Permanency planning with either relative, or letting foster mom adopt..? My neice and nephew have been in foster care for 2 yrs in KY. There is a permanency hearing in September to terminate my sisters parental rights. My husband and I want the children to come and live with us in OH. We currently have custody of their 3 month old baby brother from KY as well. The problem is that their foster mother wants to adopt them. Do we have legal rights and are we considered before she can adopt? The caseworker says yes, but he has been known to not be completely honest in the past with my family. We have the time, financial availability, and the extra rooms for them. Has anyone went through this, or do you have knowledge about these type of situations and can you give me advice? I would appreciate it. Thank you.

Answer: I am a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer in Virginia. Most states will consider family placement before looking to other sources. I know if there is a relative in another state that wishes custody of a Virginia child then a home study is done through ICPC. This takes months. Check with the social worker and see if you guys would have to do anything like that to be considered. The CASA case that I am on now involves a relative with whom the children have been placed. She actually filed for custody of the children. That may be an option for you if you feel social services isn't being completely honest with you. If there is a custody petition you can be certain the judge knows who you are and what your interest in the children is. Whatever you do, BE AT THAT HEARING in September...both of you. Make sure the judge sees you and knows you are relatives.

Question: how do i get permanency in sweden? I am planning to move to sweden, in the next year or so. But i want to know how i can be legally allowed to live there, i don't want a short time there, but permanently, so what im asking is how do i get i visa, whatever it is called to be legally allowed to be a citizen of sweden. THANK YOU in advance TACK! so then this wont be an easily aqquired, task....

Answer: Citizenship is only obtained after a certain number of years legally residing in Sweden. The time it takes depends on your permit conditions. You don't state your citizenship, which makes a difference. If you have citizenship with an EU or Nordic country, you're allowed to live in Sweden without applying for a permit as long as you have a means to support yourself. You just need to register with the Migration Board and your local tax office. http://www.migrationsverket.se/info/148_… If your citizenship is with a non-EU country: Studying only allows a temporary stay, so your options are a relationship with a permanent resident of Sweden, or obtaining a work permit. To get a family permit, you need to prove a valid, long-term relationship. Based on your question, I'm assuming that you don't have a Swedish partner. Work permits are fairly difficult to get, and you need company sponsorship. EU regulations require that a job be publicly advertised and have no suitable applicants already legal to work, before you can be hired. This means you need to be highly educated and skilled, or work in an unusual career with little competition. It also means you usually need good contacts to find a company willing to go to the trouble of sponsoring you. In the current economic situation, there are almost always suitable applicants, and thus permits are very rare. http://www.migrationsverket.se/info/160_… Studying, while temporary, allows you 6 months after graduation to find work. The above requirements still apply, but if you use your time wisely and study a career lacking workers in Sweden, it may be possible. To study in Sweden, you need to pass a Swedish language test (for Bachelor's degrees) and have the funds to cover tuition + living costs. If you are a citizen of Australia, Canada or New Zealand, and under the age of 30, you can apply for a working holiday. This only gives you a year in Sweden though.

Question: foster care for abused children (please be serious)? what steps must be taken before foster care is considered? what should be consedered in permanency planning? What are the considerations for dealing with the natural parents of children in placement? What are other types of placements besides foater care? what are the implications of these placements? Thanks in advance for your help?

Answer: A family court judge would decide whether a child is to be placed in foster care. Social Service agency can recommend it but a case must be presented to a judge. Can avoid foster care with a search of relative willing to take child. A background check is to be performed on said relative as well as housing (homestudy) to ensure is appropriate. For permenancy planning, need to consider how aggregious the abuse was. Otherwise, reunification would be the plan with a case plan put in place for the parent and would be up to the parent to complete tasks to get child back. Not sure I understand your third question. Assuming you mean for example an absent, natural father, a diligent search must be conducted so that absent parent can be notified so that they may prove themselves fit or declare their intention. Other than foster care, there is relative placement where child is placed with another relative. One concern would be whether relative would protect or supervise visits with 'offending' parent.

Question: What does this mean in family court? Permanency Planning Hearing?

Answer: The below link refers to the State of California but is essentially the same for any state. It will answer your question!

Question: Since there are so many problems placing foster children into homes...? do you think there should be so many restrictions on foster families as far as ages/other bio children in the home, etc.? I'll give you some example of what I mean...... My husband and I are long time foster parents, and we take continuous training in order that we may keep our license active. At our class this past Saturday, we talked about how the placement process is done in our county with foster children and homes, as well as adoptive families and children. Some of the restrictions I thought were interesting were- -Babies can only be placed into a home one at a time. In my county, there are a lot of babies in care, but the most "sought after" age group is 6-8 (school aged) since most of the foster parents here are holding down full time jobs, so are only willing to take placements of school aged children. There are people who are willing to take on infants, especially older couples where there are two parents at home (retired) but they will not place more than one baby in a home ever unless they are related. -They prefer couples over 45 NOT adopt younger than 8. Since most of the foster parents who can take the little ones are older/retired, that means that if that child becomes available, they are guaranteed a disruption. -Children can only be fostered/adopted by someone who is at least 16 years older. Which means younger couples cannot foster or adopt older children. -Sibling groups are preferred to be placed in homes with NO other children at all. The facilitator said that she has seen the most successful sibling group adoptions when the children equaled or outnumbered the parents due to a greater sense of belonging and security. -They prefer that children younger than 5 are not in a home with any other foster children, or children who have experienced significant trauma. Adoption is considered last priority where I live (small communities, rural area) because there are not enough workers to even carry out the basic duties that are assigned with regard to child protection. Our children are only barely being protected from even severe abuse so adoption and permanency planning falls to the bottom of the list. This, in turn, keeps beds in foster homes occupied by children awaiting permanency. This creates a backlog of sorts so that when a child is removed and needs a place, they are often transported out of the county because there is no where for them. These are just some of the policies, both formal and informal, that were discussed in the class, and I'm wondering about your thoughts on them, and any others that you can think of that may apply to your area. I should also add that none of these policies are actually "written" or "official" but they are unofficially followed under the assumption that they serve the best interest of the children in care.

Answer: We do not have those problems in my area or state---Thank goodness. I can not even fathom an unwritten policy---------that is horrible. No policy the agency and the foster parent can pretty well call the shots and that is trouble waiting to happen!!!!! We have policy in writing covering EVERYTHING! The foster parents have a legal law to go buy besides written policy. There is always some rule to back up each and evey decision. Our foster parents have a legal bill of rights. They can file grievances and service appeals against any worker and can go up the chain of command until they are satisfied with the outcome. In our state the total number of children allowed in ANY home is 6---period. This includes the foster kids and the parents kids---counting ALL children.Wavers can be written in the case of a sibling group. And I know of a waver that was granted for an infant where the home already had an infant---and that placement decision has worked wonderfully. On going education is a requirement here and if the hrs are not done then they are put on hold and are not relicensed until they have their hrs. We have no preference for placement of babies as pertaining to the age of the parents. You will find a babies as likely with a 60 yr old as a 21 yr old AND if that baby becomes available for adoption each of these parents has the first opportunity to adopt. Foster parents here have someone whom they can call day or night, any day of the year for advice or help---someone who knows the policy inside out. Visits are made to each foster home by this person to help and answer all questions.And we have no problems placing babies or children of any age in foster homes. We can foster and adopt children without their being a required difference in the ages of the parent or the child. I live in a small community and permanency, return home, and adoption all remain a priority with our agencys. That is not to say that there aren't problems from time to time but they are faced and worked out among all involved. Our foster parent law is updated annnually and a training class is held on the new law ---the new law is annually studied and written with the involvement of the foster parent. We are working for the benefit of all the agency, the children and the foster parents. We all need each other.

Question: Missouri: Can joint custody be taken away for no reason? Have to read entire thing to understand! Help Please! I have been divorced since 2006 from my sons father. I remarried last year and we have a baby girl together. My ex accused us of hurting my son so we've been dealing with court since last year. We are almost done now and my ex is trying to get full custody. We weren't found guilty of abuse and the court had us do therapy and family counseling. We completed both and have complied 100% with the court. The court documents say that the current permanency plan is for joint legal and physical custody. The deputy juvenile officerhas told me now that he is going to recommend that my ex gets full custody. No reason given. The DFS caseworker is recommending joint custody. I don't have the money for an attorney, but I'm terrified of walking in there and losing my son. What should I do? Im so confused. This entire time we've been working towards joint custody. Thats what the judge said every time at court! nothing changed! i dont understand. does anyone know what I should do or expect? He accused us of hitting him. Filed a police report and tried to get restraining orders. So of course DFS got involved. We werent found guilty (no proof) but we had to do therapy just in case. The DJO is prejudice. He takes my ex at his word and has not once called or visited us to back up allegations. He listens to him lie for hours but hasnt talked to me once. The caseworker has and recommends going back to joint custody. We were told in April that is WOULD go back to joint and the DJO agreed at that time. (signed court document) but has changed his mind in the last week for no reason. Wont even supply a reason. The judge said in April that we were working towards going back to joint as well. Im so confused. Ive done nothing wrong and have done everything the court has told me to do!

Answer: it sounds like your son may be going to live with his dad. you say the ex has accused you 2 of hurting the son...what happened? and a juvenile officer recommends the child living with dad? that doesnt sound good, at all.

Question: Foster Care and Respite...? So, I have done respite care for other foster parents, and also for biological parents with high needs children...The times that the kids have spent in respite with me have ranged from a few hours to several days. I have just been asked to take two babies, aged 10 months and 13 months for TWO WEEKS in January. We may also have a placement at that time, so we would be looking at 3-4 small children at once, in addition to a regular respite that I do Wednesday nights for an 8 month old baby. My knee-jerk reaction is to say 'no'...I personally think that it is too many children, would be too traumatic for all the kids involved, and it is just TOO LONG. And, the kids are at an age where it is difficult to comfort them and make sure that they understand that their caregivers will be returning for them. I can only imagine how much fear they would feel. Also, as I just mentioned here: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind… there are kids in the system for whom a permanency plan is just not going to happen. They are not going home, but they will not have a long term placement, in all likelihood. These are two more such cases. These babies will be remaining in foster care, and truth be told, I am a little afraid to get attached, knowing that I just can't take every kid in the system, and knowing that they will probably bounce a lot after leaving their foster home. The family is going on vacation. For two weeks. Sigh. Should I, or shouldn't I? I'm getting pressure from both our workers, as well as this lady, and my brother-in-law, who was a former tenant of hers (foster parents are landlords, also). Also, do you feel that two weeks is just too long for kids to be dropped off with strangers so the family can go on a vacay? I think respite is necessary, but it just seems like so long. :-( Am I just overthinking this, or is this totally nuts? @mom of many: I actually asked about this, and they said that there are no such limits in place for respite care. Which I find...well...scary, to be perfectly honest.

Answer: I think you should trust your instinct and say no. Your instincts are already telling you that you're going to be overwhelmed, and you haven't even gotten started. Your gut is probably right about that, and an overtaxed foster parent is not what these kids need. Especially since (if I remember correctly) you're a fairly new foster parent, it sounds like it's really excessive to tackle all at once. That many very young kids in one home sounds like too much to me, as well. I think it would be better for all of the children if they were in placements where they can get plenty individual attention, and you only have so many hours in the day and only two arms. Social workers tend to continually push the envelope with offering placements if they think it'll help them get these kids into homes, so eventually you really do just have to draw a line, for the sake of your sanity. I think you should decline the additional kids, and just stick with the more reasonable commitment you already made. As for the second question... I think putting a foster child in respite for two weeks is insane. Why are these people even fostering? I'm not opposed to respite in general-- all parents need a break from time to time, especially foster carers of children with serious behavioural challenges. Foster parents don't have the same options for childcare that biological and adoptive parents have because of licensing requirements, so when you can't just hire any sitter, an approved respite care home is an important resource. But two weeks, because of a vacation? That's way beyond what's reasonable. If these foster parents aren't willing to treat the kids like family, they shouldn't be fostering. That's going to wreak serious havoc with the kids' attachment. The foster parents ought to either find some way to bring the children along, or put their commitment to the children before having fun and stay with them. You can't fix that, though, and biting off more than you can chew won't help these kids.

Question: is Sarah Palin a Feminists? ? She is opposed to teaching birth control use in schools. She supports abstinence-only education. I've looked for her position on contraception within marriage and while she's made comments indicating she supports it she has not clarified what she means. She belongs to a group, Feminists for Life, which has opposed some types of birth control, such as the pill, but like her comments, they aren't direct in their opposition. she wants to ban that and condoms. unless she has already flip-flopped. she is extremely conservative. She believes that a woman should NEVER get an abortion even if she is raped!!! How horrible. I see illegal back alley abortions with coat hangers and teens dying if this woman is elected!!! Sarah Palin gave birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome at the age of 44. Is anyone else appalled at this? The risk of giving birth to a baby with Down's Syndrome is extremely high in women over 40 (and even higher when the father is also over 40). http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-rep… Sarah Palin "opposes the use of birth control pills and condoms even among married couples". I am disgusted by this irresponsible behaviour. To give birth at age 44 to a baby with Down's because you refuse to use birth control inexcusable. Ignoring the dangers that you expose yourself and your baby to by refusing to use birth control after 40 is negligent, careless, and nauseating. To believe that a woman like this has the opportunity to become Vice President of the United States of America in 2008 makes me ill. Does anyone else share this opinion? Constitution does offer an inherent right to privacy. (Oct 2008) Abortion should be states' issue, not federal mandate. (Oct 2008) Rejected sympathy for Down's Syndrome son, as gift from God. (Aug 2008) Opposes embryonic stem cell research. (Aug 2008) Every baby is created with a future and potential. (Aug 2008) Safe Haven bill: allow surrendering newborns without penalty. (Feb 2008) Adoption is best plan for permanency for foster care kids. (Oct 2007) Pro-life. (Nov 2006) Choose life, even if her own daughter were raped. (Nov 2006) If Roe v. Wade got overturned, let people decide what's next. (Oct 2006) Opposes use of public funds for abortions. (Oct 2006) Pro-contraception, pro-woman, pro-life. (Aug 2006) Only exception for abortion is if mother's life would end. (Jul 2006) http://www.ontheissues.org/Sarah_Palin.h…

Answer: She is just a stupid inbred psycho how can not even regulate and control her own families issues. If she is so big on abstinence then why is her daughter pregnant? She just makes me and wife's stomaches sick.

Question: I need design ideas for creating a STYLISH teen room for a 17 year-old guy. (Any help???)??? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan

Answer: Here are some ideas: http://www.home-designing.com/2008/09/te… The first 5 designs shown there can be used for guy rooms.

Question: I need help decorating my new Teen room (P.S. i am a male)??? Any tips?? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan

Answer: If the budget is unlimited, then consider working with a professional decorator. Decorators don't have to cost $$. You can find one to come in, give you a plan and let you execute it for a reasonable fee. Another thing you could do is find pictures of rooms you like. If you can find a room to imitate, it can be your inspiration room , thus providing a plan right down to color scheme. You are going to need to narrow down your tastes a bit and decide if you want grunge or very sleek and contemporary or a very international/multi-cultural look. Otherwise you're not going to have a sophisticated eclectic look. It's going to look like a thrift store exploded.

Question: I need help decorating a Teenager's bedroom??? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan

Answer: I think that having a room full of things that suit your tastes, mix and match or not, is more cool than having a "theme". Your interests would certainly allow for a lot of that! You could perhaps turn the closet into a dark room, for developing photos. Your clothing can easily be stored in dressers, armoires, a clothing rack (which allows you to show off favorites, as well), etc. Perhaps you could hang photographs along your wall, in time line fashion. Or you could dedicate each wall to a theme-such as Asia, Europe, Africa, etc and hang photographs along the wall. Pier 1 Imports and World Market are two stores that you will probably be able to find a lot of items at, and they have items in a wide variety of price schemes (and both often have outstanding sales). What I would do is start with a color scheme, and paint the walls. Choose curtains, bedding, a rug. Add items as you come across some that suit your tastes...a lamp here, a throw pillow there, etc. Google "wallpaper mural"...there are several sites that sell these in a wide array of images. I think I would go with a photography "theme" becuase it woudl so easily incorporate your other likes-just add photos from those places/times and then throw in items that reflect the photos. If you want something bold, you might consider red walls. Then throw in black and white curtains, bedding and rug and other items can be colored. The photographs can be a mixture of black and white and color. If you do not particularly care for red, choose another color. I hope this helps, and that you have fun decorating!

Question: Decorating a Teen Room...A Guy's room (any tips, suggestions, help)??? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan

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Question: How can i make my teen bedroom STYLISH or COOL or SOPHISTICATED or CLASSY etc etc??? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan Ricky> You have me sort of worked out, but a few things. First of all, i am not from a well to do family....I am poor. Second, yes a lot of the time i enjoy being by myself...What better place to do that in my nice room? Thirdly, i am perfectly 100% straight....I like girls, not guys. The thing is i am 'man' enough to admit the things i like and i understand they may seem a little 'gay' or feminine...That's because i am perfectly 100% happy being who i am and enjoy doing what i like to do. Lastly, i am not a lonely nerd who would like to fill his room with mini figurines and such of historical battles...OK?

Answer: Well E, based on what you've told us, I'm guessing you're from a well to do family, enjoys being a loner, possibly undecided upon your sexual orientation, with eclectic tastes > which could possibly indicate a desire not to commit to anything at the moment. I'm just not getting why are you aren't hiring professional help here? But if you must go it alone, you're going to need to narrow your focus down to what you like best. You could possibly tie in the historical epics of the 300, & Troy with miniature sculptures of ancient ships, gladiators, & helmets, weapons & warriors.

Question: How should i decorate my new teen room (P.S. I am a guy)??? Hi. So my Mum has just given me the master bedroom to our house. I know, I'm lucky... In it i have a walk-in-wardrobe and an Ensuite. I'm not sure if the bedroom is classified as small or not, but it's dimensions are 18' x 17'. The walk-in-wardrobe is 11' x 9'. Basically, what i am looking for is design ideas that can help me turn this room into "ME". I want it to reflect my style, but still be uber-cool and super stylish and sophisticated at the same time. I am 17, and i dont plan on moving out until about 25, so permanency is not an issue. Also, the budget is unlimited. I will briefly list some of my interests and style tastes so that you may get a better feel of who "I" am. My Interests • Photography • Reading • Writing • Watching movies • Listening to music • Editing photos • Surfing the internet • Planning • Fashion • Style • Video games My Style/Taste • Eclectic, including: • African • Egyptian • Roman • Oriental • Mexican/Spanish/Aztec • Things that evoke a sense of age and epic-ness e.g. LOTR, 300, 10,000BC • Ancient Civilisations • Modern • Classy • Sophisticated • Retro • Grunge • Expensive • Adventurist (my own word, apparently) Here are some pics of me. I guess showing you who i am might make it easier for you to 'see' who i am. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/sets/72157602346493483/ It would be great if anybody has any ideas that may reflect anything that i mentioned or you think would suit me. I am open to other ideas that you may have that are cool but are different to what i mentioned. I think it would help for you to see the space i will be working with. So here is a picture of my room's layout: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ethan_9219/2802841153/ One thing that i want to have in my room is a giant photograph taking up either a full wall, or most of it. If anybody has any ideas of what would be the perfect iconic image to use in this situation they would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing everybody's ideas and suggestions. Thanks heaps, Ethan

Answer: Heh you're cute XD For the giant photograph, I would blow up the cover of my favourite album but I wouldn't suggest doing that if your taste in music tends to change a lot. As for the layout of the room, keep it simple. Have all of your essentials (bed, desk, maybe some chairs), and then start adding pictures, lamps, and other decorations. As you settle in and get used to your new room, I'm sure it will start to seem more "you." Good luck :)

Question: Does anyone know of any research done on children and voting? Tomorrow there is a neighborhood planning process that I am going to attend. My city (Cedar Rapids, Iowa) underwent a terrible epic flood and citizens have been invited to share ideas. I have been working on a voting proposal for children for the last year and a half... Does anyone know or can anyone find any research done on children and voting that I can use in my proposal? Should I leave it out? Does anyone have any ideas I can use in this proposal to convince the city officials that this is a good idea? Our city used to be magical, but now it's not. I grew up here and all of my memories are fond. My children are not having the same kinds of experiences that I had because things that were here are gone. For example, we used to have a drive in, a real mini zoo, pony rides, and fun community events such as parades and such....Anyway.... Here is my proposal.... Problem Iowa is one of the first states to hold the presidential caucus during the election process when nominating the President of the United States. It is imperative we instill voting habits into our young people. My children and their friends have told me that they do not feel as if their vote will ever make a difference. I believe that is because they are never given the opportunity to vote for anything that is of interest to them. Research has been done on children and their ability to make rational decisions.(having problems here) I believe that if children were asked to be involved in a larger community effort that they would be much more politically aware and involved than other children across the state that are not. I understood how I could make a difference in my own life. I agree with these people. However, I have learned that my children have a unique respect for things they had to work to get. I know that children can prove to be quite responsible if they experience some setbacks or disappointments when they are allowed to vote on issues. How can they complain when they are the ones who voted for it? Of course things may need to go back to the table to be revised. Kids need to know that the political process is a long drawn out process. It is grueling task; a battle of the wills of the masses. A responsible voter will know the issue, walk into the booth with a clue as to who is who, and for what, and will confidently cast their vote. I spent many years guessing my way through the voting process and I do not trust that the process has gotten any easier. The fact of the matter is I have voted for people because I was not taught how to vote and did not understand the permanency of my vote until it was too late. Proposal I propose the City allot a portion of land for children to turn into a voting project. Children could come up with ideas and elect themes that then could go forward to be approved by the city council. Themes could be options that the City office gives to the students or ideas that the students come up with. Votes could be cast through the school system assigning each student to a computerized ballot. The computers can be programmed so that each student will have an opportunity to vote on the project. Senior citizen volunteers can offer a harmonizing tone to the project. Seniors have a unique understanding of the voting process and can help decide on two of the most cost efficient and utilitarian causes. I am sure there are senior groups in this city that can appreciate the opportunity to leave an impression on a young person’s voting life. Justification The idea is to teach children the voting process while involving them in a community project. I think that kids these days have lost a lot of respect for the sanctity of the family and the community. It would not do us any good to talk and teach if we never give them any goals. This is an opportunity for two groups of people who usually feel left out the system to take part in something that the whole community can enjoy. Any project that has seniors mentoring youth usually come out positive for both groups that do not usually have much say in the community. Conclusion • Awards from the vote could be positive or negative. It teaches children the value of their individual voice and allows them to express it in a productive way. • The current attitude held by the majority of the kids I have talked to said they would love this. I think that it would teach our kids respect for property, voting, and the permanency of choices. • This project could pull the whole community together and attract families to the area because of its unique respect for both the youth and senior citizens. • To have both suppressed groups, children and the elderly, to be a part of the community, and feel more at home. • Finally, this would give Cedar Rapids children the opportunity to express their voice, make it count, and get them more involved in their future. This proposal is for older children and politics ARE NOT for OLD people! really all I need is stats nothing more.

Answer: no one wants to read all this sh(t

Question: Can't women want space but still be committed? I mentioned recently that my bf of 18 months wanted to move in. We have discussed marriage as well, but I realized that our parenting styles of our children, along with financial goals, would be the end of our relationship. I really love him, enjoy being with him, talking to him, etc., but there are times when I also just love being by myself, with my kids, or hanging with my sister and girlfriends. My bf can't seem to "find himself" outside of our relationship, often wanting to spend 3 and 4 days a week at my place. Since I have determined we aren't going to live together, I think he should focus on his plans, goals, and friendships too. I still want to be his girl, but he really is freaked about my need for space for me and my kids at times. I find myself unattracted to him when he acts so needy. I can understand the "blow" that we aren't moving toward more permanency via marriage or living together, but he's 37 and I'm 34, we aren't kids. Can't people be committed but live apart?

Answer: Well, it seems that to him, your committment to the relationship in the present is not enough. He wants something you're not willing to give - a committment to being together in a more serious way, and, ultimately, marriage. There's nothing wrong with how you're handling the situation - keep doing what you're doing; set your boundaries, be clear about your position; honesty is the best policy. If he really wants being together more, or wishes to get married - he may have to choose to leave this relationship, and look for someone whos goals match his more closely. But it doesn't mean that you have to give into his demands out of guilt, or to please him. As you said it yourself - you are both adults; you'll figure it out.

Question: permanent custody???? If a relative is given permanent custody of my child at a permanency hearing does that mean I no longer have my parental rights???? With the child being in permanent placement do I still pay child support???? I don't understand any of this please help!!! I love my daughter and I wnat her back I done everything on the case plan each time they rewrote it. I don't know what else I can do???

Answer: You would need to ask this questions in court to the judge..consult with a lawyer who could help you with your legal issues

Question: Does anyone else think that 12 months is not enough time? In my state parents who have their children taken have 12months to do their case plan to get their kids back. This started after kids where going in and out of foster care forever. The idea is that the state takes custody and the kids go up for adoption giving them permanency. Nice idea in theory but there are some flaws. One kids in care tend to be older and "un-adoptable" by many standards. Also I was told 75% of the cases in our county the kids are taken because of drugs. So the parent has 12 months to get clean, find adequate housing and a job. That is unrealistic that is setting kids to be in foster care and age out. Yes there needs to be a time limit you can't take 7years to do it but 1 year is to short. Addiction is a horrible thing and takes time I think 2 to 3 years would be more reasonable

Answer: I don't know what state you are in, but here the law loosely states one year, however, the case is constantly being watched and reevaluated. If let's say the parent goes into addiction treatment and the doctors/workers whoever tell the court that the parent is diligently working on getting and staying clean the case stays open past that one year deadline. Now on the opposite side of that coin if after a year the parent has not made any attempt at entering or remaining in treatment one year in then they have basically forfeited their right as a parent and the state has to do what is best fo the child...and I think we can all agree that a permanent home is almost always better than bouncing around the system.