Best Interest Of The Child

Question: What are chances an adoption will go thru on basis of best interest of child after mom has withdrawn? My daughter in a moment of idiosy signed a concent to adopt paper for the step mom to adopt her 6 yr old daughter. I talked sense into her hired a lawyer and filed a withdrawl of consent. The step mom wants to continue the battle for adoption on the basis it's in the best interest of the child. :( The child would be devestated to lose her family . What are the chances a judge will grant this adoption going on basis of best interest of child???

Answer: In a "best interest" state, the lawyers will argue about the child's supposed state of mind, and sense of security. They will say that the child has 'bonded" most strongly to one family or the other. You will need child psychologists, and therapists who have knowledge of the child. You will need documentation. I hope this child has a good relationship with her mother, and with you, and that she is articulate. It will help if the little girl can express her desire to stay with you. They may also talk about the need of the child to have "2 parents"....and material advantages, so you have to counter that with whatever you have, including your love and total committment to her. Remember that a step-parent doesn't replace the mother, but if your daughter isn't fully committed to raising her daughter, the judge may sense that.

Question: Need information about importance of looking to best interest of child rather than blindly following advice of? "experts". For instance, a teacher may advise something for a student, but it is not necessarily in the best interest of the child. While taking the advice into consideration, the parent should look for what is in the best interest of the child and try to develop a wise solution, which might include fully listening to the child, looking to other resources for guidance, etc. Can anyone recommend websites, or books with information about this? Thank you!

Answer: A comment: That is good advice as long as we don't automatically assume that the teacher or counselor is reacting in a bureaucratic manner, rather than having the best interests of the child in mind. Sometimes, the initial advice we receive is the best advice and does not need filtering or deep analysis.

Question: Why is what the woman wants RIGHT NOW automatically in the best interest of the child? If she wants marriage it is in the best interest of the child, because it is good for a child that the mother is married to the father, if she fell out of love divorce is in the best interest of the child, because it is bad for the child if mommy is with a man she does not love, etc. So how come what women want right now is automatically in the best interest of the child ? I mean nobody says that daddy going to pros so he is relaxed and not tensed at home is in the best interest of the child.

Answer: It's an excuse people use to justify all kinds of things, from divorce to abortion. In reality it's all about what the woman feels is best for *herself* but she can't just say that without looking bad. If she says it's for the child, everyone will nod sagely and pretend to agree. That said....there are a few situations where it really IS in the best interests of the child, like if one or the other parent is abusive. And I think marriage is better for children, too. But most of the other things people excuse away with "it's better for the children" are really not.

Question: What visitation schedule is in the best interest of the child? My boyfriend and I are separating, and we have a five year old son. We are trying to figure out the best schedule for his best interest. We are both loving, doting parents and would like it to be somewhat equal. He has not yet found a place, but he plans to live very close. We are also remaining close friends in this situation. We are worried that every other week might be difficult for him to adjust. Has anyone had this situation when they were kids?

Answer: I totally disagree with others who are saying your son should decide the schedule. It's not the job of a 5 year old to pick where he's going to live - that's too much to ask of him. I applaud you for trying to figure out what's best for your son. As a school social worker, I can tell you that every other night at a different house is not a good solution. Kids who do this tell me they feel like they live out of a suitcase. I've also heard kids complain when they live with mom during the week and then go to Dad's for the weekend. (Main complaint is they can't see their friends or do normal kid stuff on the weekend b/c they're expected to spend quality time with Dad). I would suggest doing 2 nights at one house (but not the weekend) and the rest of the week at the other parent's house. This seems to work well for many kids. Good luck.

Question: in the best interest of a child in foster care, should i voluntarily terminate my parental rights? My son is in foster care & I've noticed how attached he is to his new family. I want what's best & often feel that I cannot compete with the life the foster family has been providing for him. I still have 2 other children & have made alot of progress but all the requirements to get 1 child back is taking away from the other children.

Answer: Personally I would have to say no. Growing up a child abandoned by your mother is different then one forcefully taken. I would think this woudl scar them for life.

Question: what are some good questions to ask a therapist about the best interest of a child? Going to court; lawyer asked to come up with some questions for the therapist during the hearing, to prove that the child should reside with me. In her best interest

Answer: Really, without knowing anything about you, the other parent or the child, it's hard to know. Why do you think it's in the child's best interest? Try phrasing that in the form of a question. i.e. "Would it be better for her to live with me or a drug addict?" or "Isn't it detrimental for a child to live with a parent who is always trying to get her to hate the other parent?" Something like that...

Question: When they say “best interest of the child” in Custody court what is some of the criteria? Does that also mean distance of where parents live away from each other if one wants to be closer and one wants to move away? My ex wants to move out of state and I want the child nearby to us.

Answer: Best interest of the child goes to who ever has the most time with the child !!

Question: Do laws that are written in the best interests of the child have to also be in the best interest of the mother before they are passed? It seems that the laws where the "best interests of the child" argument is invoked seem to be laws where the mother also benefits. Would these laws be laws at all if the father were to benefit?

Answer: The laws are gender neutral. Childrens Act 1989(UK) The welfare of the child is the court's paramount consideration. The problem is judges and lawyers interpretation of what that means. The judges usually argue "If anything upsets the mother then the child becomes upset." So if the child was allowed access to his/her father this would distress the mother and would then distress the child and so no access or access under the most draconian circumstances supervised and limited to a couple of hours a week.

Question: Best Interest of the Child in WA state? What things are looked at in a custody battle regarding the Best Interest of the Child?

Answer: if the child is old enough they can pick were they wanna go i have divorced parents but another thing the court is going to look for is who can afford them and who is responsible

Question: Single mother by choice: Is this in the best interest of the child, or the mother? It seems apparently obvious that many women have children to meet their own needs and never think about the best interest of the child and this new thing about single mother by choice is evident of that. Single mother by choice is appealing to those women whose biological clock is ticking and suddenly realize they need to have a baby to feel purpose in their life and they will obtain that goal by any means necessary, even if it means literally denying their child a father for their entire life.

Answer: I'm in the fortunate, or unfortunate (depending on your perception), position of having had both to a degree. In my earliest years I lived under the roof of a single parent. It was tough, she was tough, life was tough, everything was damn tough... real damn tough. It's a bit of a sob story, so be prepared if you choose to read on: When I was born, my mother & father divorced shortly after. I grew up listening to how he'd done everything wrong and the only single swear word I knew was 'bastard'. She would use that word whenever talking of my father. She had a very, very short fuse. She used to lay into my older Brother physically. One time, the last time, she took an organ leg to my older brother and beat him silly with it. He was bruised up and down his body from where she'd beaten it over his body. My Brother ran away from home and went to live with my Nan. Social Services (British versions of CPS for American readership) became involved, and I have a vague recollection of their presense in my early years. At some stage or other, I'm not sure when exactly, she began the rampage again. Over the years, I took shoes, bamboo canes, openhand slaps, head smacked against things, being told I was retarded (in it's literal sense). I took to sleeping out and doing anything to stay away from home. I got expelled from school (after a couple of suspensions), underwent psychological evaluations by government services, and no one seemed to understand why I wouldn't learn. I'd been sexually interfered with by a boyfriend of my mom's and it went unnoticed, despite me mentioning it to her. Once I'd unofficially reported this (I told some guy about it, not knowing whether it was normal or not - and he reported it on my behalf), I was referred to as bigmouth. It took me years to make the connection. Years later, I went into foster care where I had the 'family' of a man, a woman, two other boys and a pet dog. I never got hit. I never got told I was stupid or thick. I was given a choice on how I wanted my hair cut. And when I was upset, I wasn't told I hadn't a clue what being upset meant. My life changed dramatically. But, I found myself not knowing to operate in those conditions. I had the problems and would get myself into trouble with my teachers (once I was back in mainstream schooling) or with my foster parents. I had someone looking out for me, and would tell me I couldn't play a certain other child because they were 'bad news'... As a kid, I thought I knew better - so what if he & I kept getting into trouble with police? He was my buddy, not theres. Years later, I found this 'kid' (an adult by then) had taken an overdose of some drug and had screwed his head up big style - had the intellect of a 4yr old. I saw him when I was in a cashier job being escorted around by his younger brother. I said hello to him, but he was vacant.... I'm so glad I wasn't allowed to hang around with him - I could've been there in la-la land with him. As I grew up, I realised somethings about myself. I took a pyschology course - not because I wanted the award, I simply wanted to understand who I was. I made many realisations about me and my mom. Now, here's the disclaimer on this; I had always known that I had another brother who was buried in our local cemetary who had passed away at about 9 months old. I asked other family members about this, including my Nan, and this is the story I came to understand. My mom & nan lived literally doors away from one another in the good ol' days. My mom had her second Son by now, and had him upstairs in his crib while she did some jobs around the house. She went upstairs to get him down for his Lunch or Dinner and found him strangulated between the old-style bars of his crib. He was purple, tongue hanging, eyes bulging, clasping his hands tight and just... well, dead. I tried to put myself in my Mom's position and realised, if I ewre to find one of my children in that state - I'd perhaps lose the plot and go a bit potty... find things difficult to cope with, you know. I suddenly realised where all her anger had come from, why I was never good enough and why she was always comparing her kids against one another. Of course, I understood this - but Social Services didn't know anything about it. I began to have some pity for her instead of anger. When I was somewhere between 19 & 21, we spoke at great length about our history and I forgave her wrongs agaisnt me, and asked her to forgive my wrongs too. I think it's safe to say she parted this Earth at peace. I spent the last months helping her aruond in her wheelchair and had the lovely task of taking her to hospital to say goodbye. To this day, my history still impacts who I am in many ways, I still question most things I do, I choose bad women to have relationships with (hence why I'm not doing any kind of relationship atm), and I still remember things I'd rather not, and every now & then,I remember things I'd forgotten for years. Some might call it repressed memories, I call it crap. Anyway, the kicker here is this - I have the experience to back up that single parented homes are not that great. The stress levels are extreme for the parent. And as a none-custodial parent, I can also say it ain't no fun on this side of the fence either, but I ain't the one pulling those strings... Having lived in both scenarios (dual parent vs single parent homes) I can say without a doubt that the two parent system most definately works better. Just looking at friends who were from both sides (single/dual) it was clear that having a Father made a clear difference in their lives. I guess it would be easy to pretend that I never worried about my Dad, or rather, not knowing him... But that would be pretending - because I did. He tracked me down when I was 16. I still don't know him though. I guess I never will.

Question: What gives the government the ability to determine what is in the best interest of a child?

Answer: Voters who don't want to be responsible for their children give government the power to judge what is in the best interest of a child. However, nothing gives government the ability to do so.

Question: Why is it mothers seem to be automatically the child's best interest in custody situations? I don't mean to be or sound offensive to women but I want to know why the legal system and society in a whole seem to believe that the mothers are the childs best interst in custody situations? I know there alot of good women out there but there are indeed alot of good fathers out there too! So what makes a woman superior in the child raising sector? I understand that alot of women are good mothers but I have seen cases where the mothers were as unfit as unfit could be but they get custody regardless. Or how about when a father takes his ex to Court for Custody and the first thing they want to know from the father is where do you work and how much do you make or how big is your home. But these are never questions I have heard them ask a mother. She can be jobless and never had a job and live solely on welfare and it doesn't raise a eyebrow from anyone but a father fighting for Custody better have a dang good job and a dang good Attorney? What makes them superior with the children?

Answer: My husband was awarded custody of his son from his first marriage, and I later adopted him. There are plenty of fathers rights groups out there now that are helping fathers get more custody and access to their children. Historically women have been the ones who stayed home and took care of the kids, while it was the men who worked and made the money. While times have changed, the bias in the legal system is slow to catch up. It isn't that one sex is better than the other when it comes to child rearing, many people simply still have the mindset that the woman should still be the primary caregiver.

Question: If custody is supposed to be in the best interest of the child than why don't they let the kid choose? All the time and money wasted in a long custody battle. Can be as easy as the Judge asking the kid which parent do you want to live with? They pick. Done

Answer: SORRY, but everyone here has missed the point. Asking a young child to choose between parents is basically like the biblical account of Solomon threatening to cut the baby in half. That's a tremendous amount of emotional pressure. Not to mention the fact that if such a child chooses parent "a", then parent "b" will now likely have animosity with the CHILD. So the court avoids such a scenario altogether for very young children. With older children (12 and up) it's different because they have critical thinking... which means the child can now figure things out a bit better without the pressure.

Question: Child Custody: How can we determine what is in the child's best interest? I let my son, age 11, go live with Dad from mid Feb. till mid July this year. I have a court date for a permanent custody decision in early August. How can I determine (and prove) what is really in the best interest of this child. He is getting pressure from dad to live there and dad wants the child support money that my income will produce. I will live with whatever is best for my son.

Answer: Ask for a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) or ask for a pastor or priest or other mediator to visit with your son and his father and you to determine the best for your son.. It is a good parent that would want the best for their child no matter what... But your son needs assurance that he still has both parents to count on.. that does not mean.. dad would not let me go to a party I want to come home to you... It has to be that you both have the same goals for your son... I know it is hard but you seem to really want the best for your child... work with dad... :)

Question: What would be in this child's best interest? Should a 3 year old girl in foster care that will be adopted stay with her current foster family of a year or move to be adopted into the same family as her half sister? Witch would be better for her staying where she has formed an attachment or moving to be raised with a biological sister? Her birth father would like them to be together eventhough her sister is only 1 year old and they have never met.

Answer: I gather that she would be adopted by the same family as her half sister? If this move in the best interest of the child also taking into consideration all the other (environmental) factors, then she should be moved as soon as possible, in order to prevent the bond to her foster family from getting stronger, and to encourage the creation of a bond with the adoptive family. The longer she stays with the foster family, the harder and more traumatic the change will be for the child. However, if there is more than one family that is willing to adopt her, the deciding factor should not be her sister. Considering she was probably only about 2 years old or younger when she was separated from her sister, the chances of having bonded to her are very small and therefore of little consequence.

Question: visitation with 1 year old ...... what is best interest of child ......... wife took off with my then 8 mth old son 1000 miles away.I was his Primary Caregiver and she did not let me have any contact with him for almost 4 mths until a Court Ordered 20 day visitation period.Of course she wanted to call everyday,at least twice a day to talk to the baby while he was with me,but often does not pick up or return my calls now that he has been back with her for a week.I know it must be very heart breaking and confusing and scary to him to be taken from one home to another and phone calls seem like a harsh thing to do to a baby,now 13 mths old.Regardless of which Parent obtains Primary Custody,in a long distance case like this,what is the best amount of phone contact for such a young child with an estranged parent?I have not moved closer to her for mainly I feel I WILL get Full Custody and want to save our home.I am very confident she will move back down here after I gain custody of the child and if I throw this to her State I would lose the ability to get my 10 witnesses in court that submitted Notarized Affadavits in my favor that I was the Primary Caregiver and very involved with my son daily in the neighborhood and mommy was out running around.But I do not know what type of contact is best for the child in a 1000 mile apart relationship if she gets summers and every other holiday instead of limited supervised visitation which is what the counselor suggested and I believe our Sons Guardian Ad Litem will recomend.I do not beleive my wife even realises that she will at most get the baby only 8 mths out of the year,but will most likely end up with just a couple of weeks of suervised vistation per year after what she did and her psychiatric conditions are introduced to the Judge.I feel so bad for the baby that I almost want to just drop out of his life and just send money until he is old enough to understand more,but I am so afraid of his living conditions,mommies mental state,his grandparents abuse.Counselor advise DCFS investigate,but DCFS said they will not take the report seriously unless the Counselor or Atty made the report due to I am in a custody battle with her and I had initially agreed to her getting temp custody of the child

Answer: The worst thing you can do is drop out of your child's life. Everything will hinder on the judges decision. I wish you luck.

Question: What would be an example for a child's best interest with a name change? What is considered a child's best interest with a name change? can anyone give me examples? Like, a strong possibility of teasing when in school, is that considered looking for the child's best interests when changing a name? Or let's say the child's initial end up something like KKK or GAY or MILF, would changing one of the names considered in the child's best interests? I want to change my child's name to either just my family name, or a hypenated version version with both mine and my ex's name. Child is 1, so wouldn't be affected by the change... I have sole legal and physical custody, his father is a violent man who only gets supervised visitation, but hates me so wouldn't willfully want to change the child's name. His middle name is very significative and I do NOT want it changed, that's out of the question. And he does get called by his first AND middle name. There is no school records, since I've mentioned him being 1. And his initials are GAY. So... I'm thinking long term, there's a lot of things I know that I actually sign with just my initials so..

Answer: if its really severe, then yes a name change may be in order

Question: how could the courts say its in the best interest of the child, when paternity is not for sure.? If a child can at 14 be able to get a job, drivers permit, and have his/her bank account. Why can't the child be told the truth about how paternity is questionable. Best interest of the child does not work. we as humans have many flops in life and live just fine. I would like to see different laws when it comes to paternity DNA issues.

Answer: they only care about making money,not the best interest of the child

Question: Which scenerio is in the best interest of a child who is:? a) initially raised by natural parent/s, ill prepared to parent, and subsequently falls victim in and out of the Foster Care system due to abuse and/or neglect and eventually adopted. or b) adopted as an infant to a stable family barring all secrets and lies. Just a hypothetical question. It's not my story or anyone I know. I'm just interested in what some opinions are.

Answer: Our son's first mom had already signed papers for us to adopt, and then went and did a dose of meth the day he was born. He was almost taken by the state. He's a very happy child, loved, well adjusted, and above average on target with all children his age (luckily he seems unaffected by the meth-THANKS GOD!). His biological sister on the other hand has been taken by the state after he was born, and their mom will get several chances to straighten out before being placed for adoption. It's not fair for her! I'd bet my life that overall, our son has a better attitude towards life in general and ends up happier than his siblings. I've tried to help their mom so many ways, and she won't allow us to.

Question: When the Legal Guardian knows it's not in the best interest of child and goes against ethics who can I call? Sexual abuse by grandfather; has lots of money. Only reason this ended up in family court is so the grandfather can sexual have his way with the child. the was no reason for the grandfather to step in and try to take the child from mother as she is an ideal parent and has been trying to put a stop to this but the law guardian does not want to listen and does what the grandfather wants even knowing these alligations are going on. Law guardian has been promoted from sexual favors and has the D.A., Judge, and anyone else in her corner. (Figures Politics!) Meanwhile this poor defenseless baby girl is being abused sexual. The child is not to leave the county. When the grandparents took her they never got into trouble when they went out of state. The mother got arrested just going into another county. What's really sad is the grandmother knows also and has had the child in bed with both grandparents as the grandfather did his thing! Please help me help a helpless child. Who can I contact??

Answer: A lot of allegations! Why is this in Family Court without DHHS being involved. If they aren't they should be! What are the charges for?