Pendente Lite

Question: What is the "date of service of the plaintiff's application" in a pendente lite order? So is that the date of service of the order to show cause?

Answer: It's the date when the defendant was first handed the plaintiff's motion paperwork.

Question: My husband served me with divorce papers and included a motion for pendente lite. How do i respond to it?

Answer: I'd suggest you consult your attorney to determine that...

Question: Pendente Lite Relief? going through a divorce. Thought it would be a simple procedure and unfortunately, trusted the ex that we would stay out of court and would work together on the final details. however, received a motion for pendente lite relief, which will be on the court docket in 4 days. I do not have an attorney at this time and probably will not have luck finding an attorney that is strong on short notice. Any info on this pendente lite would be so helpful. This is in Northern Virginia - and also, any lawyer referrals would be appreciated - I have been on the phone and net all morning, desparate for some help - the ex is demanding all of my money (85%!!!)

Answer: well the x cannot get all your money, and if you do not have represented by an attorney, you should be able to ask for a continuance.

Question: what does pendente lite and permanently mean?

Answer: "Pendente lite" means literally "while the action is pending." I've heard of people getting support or attorneys' fees pendente lite. Not sure what your question about permanently means.

Question: motion to set aside default judgment on pendente lite support?

Answer: What do you want to know?

Question: Divorce from hell? I am currently paying 70% of my net income to my wife due to a Pendente Lite Order in VA. Leaving me with a monthly -$1500 after paying for basics expenses (i.e, food, rent and gas). She refuses work after I paid for her BA. Now she is working on her Master’s fulltime. By the way, I don’t have a college degree … I am self-educated software developer (Programmer). In addition, in her cross-complaint she wrote numerous false allegations that nearly caused me to loose my Government clearances, thus my job. What can I do? By the way there is no support limit for a Pendente Lite Order in VA.

Answer: Prove that you put her through school and that she's refusing to work. And prove her allegations wrong. Sometimes it seems the system only works for lying women who want nothing more than to be bums. I feel for you, truly.

Question: My husband filed divorce papers on me because I won't sign a post-nup ... how stupid is that? Yup, he finally found a lawyer to file the papers on me. He's been threatening me with divorce if I don't sign saying I have no interest in any property. His first allegation the "complaint for divorce" is that we've been living separate and apart since July. It gets even stranger cuz he admits it's not true and says that he never told his lawyer that, and that she made up all the allegations on the "complaint" ... so I recorded him saying all of this on my voice recorder ... even right down to him saying that he didn't even know what was listed on the divorce complaint or the "motion for pendente lite" that he filed trying to evict me from the house. Life is stranger than fiction, but one thing is for sure ... he's a total jackass. Every dog has it's day .. Aside from all that I think I will look into filing a complaint of professional misconduct on the lawyer based on the things he said on tape. It will be really cool to watch his lawyer turn on him.

Answer: You go girl, burn the PIG!!! He's a dirty, rotten, egg sucking pig and a pathetic waste of space, take him for all you deserve...

Question: My husband filed divorce papers on me because I refused to sign a post-nup .... duh? Yup, he finally found a lawyer to file the papers on me. He's been threatening me with divorce (these past 6 months) if I don't sign saying I have no interest in any property. His first allegation the "complaint for divorce" is that we've been living separate and apart since July. It gets even stranger cuz he admits it's not true and says that he never told his lawyer that, and that she made up all the allegations on the "complaint" ... so I recorded him saying all of this on my voice recorder ... even right down to him saying that he didn't even know what was listed (says he never saw it before it was served) on the divorce complaint or the "motion for pendente lite" that he filed trying to evict me from the house. Life is stranger than fiction, but one thing is for sure ... he's a total jackass. Every dog has it's day .. even in Virginia which is not a community property state. I guess the question is ... what's your opinion? have you ever heard anything similar, and what was the outcome? Maybe I should have stated it more clearly, but I thought it would be assumed. What's your opinion?

Answer: Get yourself an attorney NOW. Good for you not signing the post-nup. Talk to him and tell him he can settle this between you, cheaply, or expensively between dueling attorneys. Just because it's not a community property state doesn't me that you have no rights to the properties. Were they acquired during marriage? Were they improved during marriage? Do you live in property, and do you have children?

Question: Can I sue my wife's divorce attorney for employing malicious divorce tactics? Based on emails and my wife's actions leading up to me being removed from the marital home, I believe I can prove my wife's attorney advised her to, "Get him to hit you." Acting on her attorney's advice, over the next two days, my wife verbally and physically assaulted me three times, and when I didn't retaliate, she dared me to spank her by calling me a wus and challenging my manhood. When I spanked her she had me arrested and charged with domestic assualt. The magistrate did not grant my wife's request for an Emergency Protective Order, released me on a $2500 bond, and I returned home a couple hours later. Two days later my wife filed a false affidavit with Child Protective Services (I believe co-authored by her attorney) claiming abuse against her and the children. She exagerrated the spanking incident into a mailicious prolonged beating and further accused me of being a suicidal, drug addict, sex-crazed, rapist that beats his sons and inappropriately touches his daughter! They used this Protective Order to remove me from my house and deny me all communication with my 4 children for the next 2 months. After a couple of continuances, the PO was finally dismissed by the JDR court because it held no merit. No testimony was offered by wife because she didn't even show up! I believe her attorney advised her not to. Either the attorney didn't want my wife to purger herself on the stand or she wanted to continue the case again, keeping the PO in place even longer. She was using this PO as a bargaing chip in our divorce negotiations, offering to drop it if I agreed to her emergency pendente lite divorce demands. After the PO was disissed, the attorney threaten to appeal the PO to a higher court. The only other consideration she offered was to the help "nolo process" the pending domestic assualt charge. Is this ethical? In fear of losing my clearance, my job, and even more money going to court, my attorney advised me to sign the temporary divorce agreement. Child Protective Services investigated my wife's allegations and came back with a disposition of Unfounded. What recourse do I have? I believe my wife's, and her attorney's, actions were made maliciously, with the sole intent of getting the best divorce settlement possible. I believe they've misused Child Protective Services, manipulated the judicial system, and made a mockery of my civil rights. Can I attach the attorney to the civil suit I plan to file against my wife?

Answer: WAY too deep for Answers. You need a civil attorney and a GOOD one.

Question: My stepson's mother plans not to come to court for the custody hearing. What will happen? They currently share legal and physical custody, with her having primary. She is facing contempt charges due to refusing to bring him back to this state for visitation, and for refusing phone contact. Prior to the current custody order, my husband had sole custody for 5 years. When her life improved, he agreed to the joint custody arrangement, but things have since gone downhill. She has moved 3 times since the order was changed- 2 schools for the son, and is currently going through divorce from her new husband/custody battle for her other child. My husband is seeking to regain sole custody. It appears that she will try to "ignore" this by skipping the court date. My husband currently has pendente lite custody, and the child is with us pending the outcome of the hearing. The mother is facing 2 contempt of court charges on the same day as the hearing (one of which is a felony for withholding out of state). What will happen if she does not show up for court?

Answer: I think she'll have an arrest warrant issued against her and his father will again have sole custody of his child. It sounds like she is not a stable person, it can not be good for the son to be exposed to this person.

Question: How on in the world can this possibly be legal? Long story short : My dad is a mentally/emotionally abusive alocoholic who makes a lot of money. My mom is a stay at home mom and is divorcing him. Living with him is intollerable. Yesterday was our pendente lite. After I (the daughter) got on the stand and said how I couldn't function anymore, I barely passed school for the year, and am an emotional wreck after my dad constantly screaming at my mom and calling us both every name in the book, the judge said, "That sounds intollerable." And yet our dad is still living here. MY MOM CAN'T MOVE OUT, SHE HAS NO MONEY!!! HOW CAN THE US GOVERNMENT FORCE US TO LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THIS MAN FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG UNTIL THE REAL COURT HEARING? HOW CAN THIS BE FUKCING LEGAL?!?! I am about to snap. I'm so close to just going into the gun cabinent and looking up that judge's address. My dad was HORRIBLE when we got home yesterday. My mom and I have no where to go and he won't leave. They can't make us live here.... and yet they are? Note - My dad lied through his teeth under oath, saying my mom has hit him and all this other stuff. Both of my parents have their own atterneys or lawyers or w.e. Help me. Before I go on a killing rampage. This country is so fucked up it amazes me. My career goals just went from Rescue swimmer to United States Terrorist. What this country has put me and my mom through, they are going to pay for, in bombs on court houses and killing spree's. That's the only way I can be heard. Maybe after that someone will change something so no one has to go through what I have. MY DAD HAS CUT MY MOM OFF FROM ALL OF THE MONEY!!! SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING CENT TO HER NAME! HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MOVE OUT?! THAT IS THE ISSUE HERE YOU FUCKING RETARDS.

Answer: There are shelters in every state for abused women and children. It requires no money to move into one. You and your mother should pack your things and go. There is no law that requires you to live in the same house as an abuser and lack of money should not be a barrier to leaving. At least you would have a safe place to hang your hat until your mother and father's case makes it through the courts.

Question: My mom has been so screwed by the legal system, please help? My mom and dad are in the process of getting divorced. My dad is mentally/verbally abusive and harasses my mom and I every single second of the day that we are all at home. He will literally follow us around the house for hours on end and just scream at us, call us names, etc. The judge didn't give a fukc that my grades have gone from A's and B's to all F's this year, the fact that my mom is loosing weight like crazy and has stomach problems from all the stress, or any of our troubles. He said, "The living situation seems intolerable." And yet he ordered that my dad is allowed to stay in the house. My dad is the only one who works in the house, and he makes $142,000 a year. He has now cut my mom off from all of the money, even though the judge ordered that our standard of living be maintained. My dad claims that he is only paying for the basic utilities, he is taking my car, shutting down our cell phones, and not paying for our cable or internet anymore. How is that maintaining our standard of living? Keep in mind my mom doesn't work (My dad is controlling and hasn't allowed my mom to get a job). Since my mom doesn't have a dollar she can use towards an apartment, we all have to stay living in the same house because obviously my dad isn't going to move out, the court did however order that my dad is NOT allowed to step foot in my moms bedroom or he goes straight to jail. So, does this count as being seperated? My mom is so worried that she can't get divorced now because they are still living in the same house. Also, this was just a pendente lite. How much longer do you think it will be until the real hearing? My mom and I literally are at our breaking points, we can't keep living with this man for even a day more, let alone months of years. Oh, another question, my dad lied under oath about a trillion things. He says my mom physically hit him, which she has never done, and he lied about a bunch of other stuff, but my mom didn't say anything because she claimed she wasn't allowed to interupt him. Should she have said something? And most important of all, I know that you can only guess, but I would love to know what you think will happen in the actual hearing where the divorce is finalized. My mom is asking for spouse support and child support so we can get our own place, and for my dad to keep paying our dental/health insurance, and for him to pay her legal fee's. Please help. :( I also want to add that for the past 2 months after my mom filed for divorce he has been taping us with video camera's and getting us riled up and then secretly recording us on audio tape, which he then plays on loud speakers throughout the house to taunt us. He also wakes up at 3am every morning and turns on all the lights in the house and slams cupboards, pots, and pans to wake us up. All day during the day when he comes home from work he is slamming the doors to the deck and the front door. He slams them so hard that the entire house shakes, and he does this about 50-100 times a day. I'm missed so many days of school that I barely passed for the year because I'm so tiard from getting no sleep. =/

Answer: This is a terrible situation not the least of which is your involvement with parental issues. This is really between your parents. It does appear there is a power imbalance and that your father is manipulative and controlling. From your description he may also be afflicted with an "addictive behavior disorder" which involves the denial of his own responsibility and the projection of his shortcomings onto those closest to him, eg. your mother. Your mother needs a good lawyer to help her. The judge is wrong to permit your father to continue living in the same house. Those solutions are almost never successful and could result in harm. It is really not possible to give any indication of an outcome in court. The Court needs to analyze all the facts and circumstances which can not be properly set out in this forum. In the meantime stay away from trouble. Keep out of your father's way. Be patient. Call for help if necessary. Your mother's lawyer should call your father's conduct to the attention of the court and ask for temporary relief. But this is up to your mother. It is not your fight (even though you are in the middle of it).

Question: Would my mom really get arrested for this, or is my dad just trying to scare her? God, my dad is such a piece of work. My mom is divorcing him (he's a mentally/verbally abusive alcoholic). It's hard on my mom because she's a stay at home mom, and he's very controlling, and he's so pissed she's finally leaving him. He's trying to do everything in his power to get her arrested. The latest thing is "Issuing bad checks, etc., larceny". So basically, my dad has cut my mom off from all the money, so she's been forced to use her debit card to buy food with, and she know's that it's at -$700. Recently she got a job as a hairstylist, but she makes like $8 an hour. My dad makes 8 grand a month after taxes. My mom isn't going to waste her money on food, my dad has always paid for the food and at the pendente lite the court said my dad had to "keep the same living standards", which includes paying for food. Today is the first day in over a month my dad has gone food shopping, since then my mom has been using the debit card. Now my dad bought some groceries today and came in screaming at my mom that she's going to be arrested. Please tell me this is utter bullshit. Thanks. I'm not sure if you see the little "-" sign before the $700, but the balance of the card is at negative $700, and my mom knows that and has kept spending (because she had no choice). That's what my dad is getting at: she kept spending money on the card when she knew there was none on there. But, how could anyone not know if there isn't money on it? And if for some reason then don't know, can't my mom just lie and say she didn't know? So you are telling me to give up the lifestyle I was raised in and eat ramen bricks instead because my parents are divorcing? Uhh, yea fukc that ?

Answer: This is utter bullshit. So far. Using a debit card tied to an account with a negative balance will only generate massive overdraft fees on top of each transaction. It's not illegal, and your mother will not be arrested for it. But when the bank comes after her to settle the charges, and they WILL, her credit will be ruined if she doesn't work out a plan to pay it off (my guess is that her credit isn't doing so hot anyway). They may go after your father as well but that depends on your state, whose names are on the account/card, and whether they are legally separated yet.

Question: Can my mom take out a loan for a lot of money if she's unemployed but her husband is well-off? My parents are in the middle of a nasty divorce and my mom is unemployed. My dad has excellent credit and makes $142,000 a year. They just went to their pendente lite today (temporary hearing) and my dad is allowed to stay in the house. Living with him any more is not an option, the abuse is just too much, neither my mom or I can take it anymore. My dad refuses to move out, and my question is, can my mom take out a loan for, let's say maybe $20,000 or so for us to get an apartment with & food until the real court hearing? She is still married to my dad, but obvisouly he wouldn't sign a loan like that. Would she need his signature or is the fact that she is married to him good enough? Thanks. I hope you mean fucked up because of my dad, because if you mean us wanting to take out a loan so we can move from our big house to a tiny apartment to escape from my dads abuse, well, then your fucked up if you think that we are in the wrong.

Answer: No because she has no income and does not qualify.

Question: Why I'm I paying pendente lite when my stbex and I live in the same house? In court the judge called pendente lite 'child support', but we still live together and are not seperated. Can I overturn this ruling?

Answer: While your divorce is pending, your lawyer may ask for pendente lite relief. Basically, these are temporary orders that outline how everything will be handled until the divorce is finalized. Some issues that may be addressed are temporary custody, visitation, support, how the bills will be handled, and who gets to reside in the family home.

Question: Getting divorced, wife doesnt want kids around new girlfriend? My wife and I are getting divorced. I have been giving her money to pay ALL her bills, she only has a 20-hour/ week job but has a BS degree. My girlfriend and I are getting married as soon as we're allowed. I am being 100% honest with my wife, and she has a new botfriend. She hates my new girldfriend (they were friends) and freaks out if I even mention the kids being around her and makes me promise to keep the kids away from her. My kids love my new girlfriend and her kids love me. My wife is supposed to be giving me joint legal and physical custody. Can she MAKE me keep the kids away from my girlfriend? Even if I marry this woman? We live in Alabama and my Pendente Lite order says we now share joint legal custody, we have been separated 7 months. My wife has been sleeping with someone since November and lies about where she is when she sees him even though I told her that I don't care and want her to be happy too. She brings our kids around her new boyfriend now and lies about it. But she gets COMPLETELY psychotic if she thinks the kids are around the woman I am going to marry. So far I have not brought the kids around my girlfriend but they know I am seeing her because I told them so and they love her.

Answer: She can force a morals clause into your divorce decree making it to where you can't have your girlfriend over during overnight visitation time until such time as you are married to the new woman. Sounds as if you cheated on your wife with her friend - and that is the reason for the divorce - so you can't blame her for being furious and not wanting this homewrecker around her kids. Provided your new girlfriend doesn't have any legal issues such as drug or alcohol related covictions etc she won't be able to cause issues once you are married - if she does have legal issues, your wife can prevent you from having her around the kids, married or not.