Domestic Violence Or Abuse Services, Questions, Answers and News.

Violence or abuse is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or actual use of violence. Abuse of family members can take many forms, including emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, using children, threats, intimidation, isolation, and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power. In Alaska you can get a Domestic Violence Protective Order if you have a "household" relationship with the opposing party and he/she committed a crime of domestic violence against you, such as assault, burglary, criminal trespass, criminal mischief, terroristic threatening, violating a domestic violence order, or harassment. See AS 18.66.100 to read more about protective orders. For general information, please see www.andvsa.org/.

Question: What are ideas for research proposals in domestic violence and child abuse ? I need answer quick. Needs to have independent and dependent variables. Example: What is the effect of domestic violence in marriages in the Hispanic community ?

Answer: This will largely depend upon how you are wanting to do the research, what design you choose, etc. Here are some suggestions: 1) What is the relationship between reported domestic violence incidences and perceived marital satisfaction? 2) How does witnessing dometic violence affect performance in school for children ages (X -X)? 3) Are there differences in school performance among children who have witnessed domestic violence in the home and children who have not? 4) Are their differences in attachment styles among children who witness domestic violence from those who have never witnessed domestic violence? 5) Are women who experience domestic violence different than women who don't experience domestic violence in perceived life satisfaction and emotional intelligence? 6) Are their socio-economic differences among those who report domestic violence issues? There are more that I could come up with, but hopefully this helps.

Question: Is verbal abuse a form of domestic violence? I've been in a marriage for over 19 years and have been verbally humiliated for years. I looked up on the internet earlier that this is a form of domestic violence and grounds for divorce. We're currently separated and I've always been very concerned for the children's welfare and safety. I'm in shock to think that all this time I never considered that this could be a form of domestic violence.

Answer: Yes, it's true. Verbal abuse can hurt a way too deeply and can damage your self respect, self esteem etc. It's the worst form of abusing...I'm so sorry it happened to you... :)

Question: Why don't WOMEN who fear domestic VIOLENCE and emotional ABUSE date nerds? This domestic violence and emotional abuse stuff happens because women like to date guys who look like Vin Diesel who's hobbies include arm wrestling and bar fights. Why don't they date those geeking, nerdy, computer brain dorks? I'm sure they will never hit a woman.

Answer: You are sooooo wrong. Abusers seldom show their abusive side until it is a "done deal" with the woman being married to them and or pregnant with their child. Once they think they have her they systematically strip her of moral support of family and friends and of self esteem. Go do some research before saying what you do not know for the world to see.

Question: Any Foundations like TWLOHA, that focuses on Teen Drug Abuse or Domestic Violence? www.twloha.com I love the TWLOHA group, and I love what it stands for. But so many people are pretending like there all for it, and I want to be unique and show support for my 2 favourite causes, Teen Drug Abuse and Teen Domestic Violence . If you know any group like TWLOHA, please tell me?

Answer: 1. http://www.nopcas.com/ 2. http://www.spanusa.org/index.cfm?fuseact… 3. http://www.afsp.org/ 4. http://www.teensuicide.us/articles5.html 5. http://www.save.org/ 6. http://www.boystown.org/ 7. http://www.sprc.org/

Question: Where or what agency in WA should abuse of the domestic violence system be reported to? I have a male friend who is facing false domestic violence charges from his ex-wife. She is lying to the court system about the facts involved in certain events. This court particular county have a reputation of discriminating against men and allowing women to lie about their spouses. Who should the behaivior of the court system itself and the involved women be reported to for investigation? This type of issue is dealt with in teh Superior Court of the sate of Washington. Each county has their own Superior Court offices. This particular county's domestic voilence court allows women to lie without soid proof. The ONLY attorney who would represent a man in a domestic voilence case was sanctioned by this particular court for upholding civil rights and demanding the court do so as well. He voluntairaly pulled his bar lisence from WA and moved to another sate. Should abuse of the system be brought to the attention of the State Attorney General, the State Bar Association, or any other ideas out there?

Answer: I would say that he needs to get a lawyer and see if they can help him get depositions from others that know he is not that type of guy. Also if he really did not do anything wrong, he should not take a "guilty" plea of anything. He should fight for his innocence and use all of the tools our system has--do not sign away the preliminary hearing. This is when the state has to show that they even have enough evidence to press charges. Keep fighting, take it to a jury trial (not a bench trial) if need be. Dig up as much dirt on the ex-wife as possible and find her unreliable and untrustworthy. The state will try to make him feel trapped into taking a plea bargain in exchange for a guilty plea. They will make him think that he doesn't have a shot in hell of having a jury finding him innocent, but they just want to scare him away from his rights. Best of luck!!

Question: Would this be considered spousal abuse / domestic violence? If while we are arguing he brakes the car really quick so that I have to catch myself on the dashboard w/ my hand and if he got mad at me and set a firecracker off in directly beside my ear would that be considered abuse / domestic violence or signs of a potential abuser?

Answer: Yes it is - what kind of idiot would distract someone by arguing with them while they are driving, which could cause an accident, he should leave you before he gets seriously hurt.....lol.

Question: What happens if 2 parents have a restraining order in effect for domestic violence/verbal abuse? If there is a restraining order in effect due to the father threatening the mother to steal the child,verbal abuse etc,Given that the toddler lives with the mother ,what type of visitations would the father get granted by a judge

Answer: He will most likely get supervised visitation, which means he will not be allowed to be alone with the children and may even have to visit them in a state building for a limited amount of time, until he can prove he is not a threat to the child.

Question: What is the difference between domestic violence and domestic abuse. Is one a felony and one a misdemeanor? I have a friend that wants a firearm permit. I told him he could not because he had a felony. Was I wrong?

Answer: If your friend is a felon, he is not eligible for a permit to own or carry a firearm. The laws vary from state to state with regard to felonies and misdeanors. If your friend has a felony conviction, the semantics are irrelevant.

Question: What is the punishment for child abuse and domestic violence? If you can give me a specific for Missouri, that would be great.

Answer: just type that question for missouri in your search engine and why you trying to beat your kids lol jk but depending on whatyou do you can get a life sentence

Question: What are the laws concerning domestic violence and spousal abuse in the country you live in? I was just curious how other countries handled this sensitive issue outside the US.

Answer: here in the united states e have very strict abuse laws of every kind of abuse like here in washington if we get called to a domestic violence then we are going to arrest one of them no matter what

Question: What is your personal experience in regards to domestic violence/abuse? How common do you think it is? Have you heard stories from friends? Please provide a summary of what you've either heard or experienced and please list the relationship of the two people involved.

Answer: Its all too common. Not only are you suffering, but your children do too. I experienced domestic abuse in most of my relationships. I recently left my daughters father who was abusive to me both physically and mentally while I was pregnant. I had threatened to leave so many times. I was lost in him, trying to make the relationship work, especially for my daughter. He would tell me so many negative things like, I was nothing, no one will ever love me, if you leave Ill take the baby, my family has money, all types of things. It took for him to black my eye, leave me with a concussion, and much more for me to Finally leave, 3 weeks later. But better late than never. Im much happier, feel safer and although I have to go through all of the court crap, I must say, I dont regret my decision to leave my abuser. I went from being a victim, to being a survivor. I f you know anyone who needs help have them call 1888 503 hope, they saved my life

Question: What is a good book to read on either domestic violence, child abuse, or addictions? I need to do a paper for my group dynamics class, so any book about self help groups or the ones listed above will help. Thanks.

Answer: I know of several but one that springs to mind is Why Does He Do That? This book is written by Lundy Bancroft and covers mostly the topic of dv, but touches on family dynamics and addictions as well. Mr Bancroft also has other books available about DV. If I were to pick one author who knows his/her stuff about dv I would say Mr Bancroft. When I read this book, I felt as though he had crawled in my hosue and was spying on me and my now ex-husband. He hits the nail on the head as to why a man is abusive.

Question: Who can I talk to about past domestic violence and abuse? I can find info on help if I were being abused now, but my issues are from years ago. I'm ok now but I cant get the past out of my head. Does anyone know of any groups, organisations etc that could help me? I'm in the UK. Many thanks.

Answer: go to your doctor and ask to be put in touch with FAMILY MATTERS,they can help you put things clear in your mind.they helped me.

Question: I am a licensed family, substance abuse and domestic violence therapist. Can you use my services? I will need a guaranteed income until I am established to open a private practice. I am also a team worker with over twenty years exoerience.

Answer: Don't know how many people would use the services of someone who's Avatar is "Big Dummy"! Can you get a more credible name?

Question: What is the engine driving our most urgent social problem from crime,domestic violence against women, to abuse? I am asking these questions to get the views of others..This is for a project at the college I attend..I am supposed to argue this point...A certain writer feels that the question I asked is stemmed from a fatherless-ness nation...I disagree, I'm not sure of the statistics but I certainly do not feel that these type problems simply come from the absence of the father in the home.

Answer: That's exactly the problem - lack of parents. Children without fathers is an epidemic. But another issue is working mothers. Not to say that women shouldn't work....but if there is no dad and mom is at work - who is raising the kids? Or if there is a dad, but both parents work - who is raising the kids?

Question: What is wrong with asking the effects of child witnesess to domestic violence/abuse....? apparently, it happens to more than 3.3 million children world wide, so what is the problem in asking this? Why do people still see domestic abuse as a hidden aspect of society? Lets not have it hidden anymore, why should we, who are we protecting? LOVING FATHERS.....I THINK NOT! WHAT ABOUT YOUR POOR MOTHERS? AND MY POOR MOTHER?

Answer: Children are unreliable.They often will cling to the parent that abuses them rather than going to the one that does not.They also will lie to keep mommy or daddy from going to jail.This has been recorded in children into their teens.There is no reliable way to make the kids tell the truth because they are taught to respect certain people of authority and want to tell them what they think the authority figure wants to hear.They don't understand that the truth will make the hurting stop.As they get older they have become so jaded to the abuse that they refuse to speak to authorities because they feel betrayed by them.If your father is abusing the family you need to get picture evidence.If you cant get actual shots of him hitting someone because it is behind closed doors try to get a voice recording of the abuse as it happens.Then take it to the police.

Question: Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence & abuse? What kind of abuse? Sexual, physical, psychological, verbal, etc.? How has it shaped your life? Did it make a you weaker or stronger person?

Answer: I was sexually abused repeatedly when I was ages 5-8. It always was in the back of my head, but now I think it's all kind of hitting me, because I'm older and understand it more. I finally realize that my mom is the reason why I felt like it was my fault for almost 7 years, and is still continuing; of my life. When I told her about being molested, she told me "don't do it again" and KEPT SENDING ME THERE. It went on for another 2 years after that. I believe I'm being verbally abused by my Mom. I'm suffering from depression and she doesn't make it any better. She makes me feel like **** for the smallest things, and if my sister yells at me, its okay; but if I yell at her back; its not. She's a contradicting hypocrite. More with my mom (sorry this is turning into a huge rant), I went to the school psych, she reccomended I see a psychiatrist. So she calls my mom, my mom refuses to get me help because I seem happy. (Its called acting.) I think I'm weaker in some ways, stronger than others. Little stuff I can just blow off; like people talking about me. I've learned to like everyone, trust no one. But I'm also dying on the inside because just hiding how I feel all the time is eating me up from the inside out. I can't trust anyone, I'm insecure, I hate myself, I'm always afraid, I don't trust people with the name Jonathan easily. I think if I *ever* overcome whatever the hell is wrong with me, it'll make me stronger in the end. Bah. Life is great.

Question: Anynone know where I can find stats on domestic violence or spousal abuse according to race? I'm looking for who is more likely to committ spousal abuse a white man or a black man? If you can provide documentation that would be great.

Answer: Yes! A 'Google' search. "Who is battered? By race and other factors There was not a significant difference between whites and blacks in the rate of violent victimizations that were committed by relatives..." http://www.actabuse.com/dvstats_3.html#3

Question: Could threatening to "out" a partner in a gay relationship be considered abuse or domestic violence? If so, what sort of crime could it be and what will the partner be charged with?

Answer: No truth is always an affirmative defense.

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