Arranged Marriage

Question: Arranged Marriage? wat r the chances of an arranged marriage lasting ? people say in love marriages at least u get a chance to know ur partner. But arranged marriage is like Russian roulette.. now i do know that stuff about how earlier arranged marriages survived but then again times have changed ..

Answer: Many people , especially in the west do not understand clearly about arranged marriages. Many love marriages in countries where arranged marriages are prominant fail. The explanation for this is fairly simple. The reason why arranged marriages work well in countries like India and so on, is because, there are pre-defined criteria on how a man or a woman should behave and certain roles and responsibilities are enforced by the society itself. Also in those countries, families are more united and they have a big influence in the couple's lives. Respect for elders, respect for advise from experienced people and family is enforced by the society itself. So a couple living to gether in such a society in midst of the families always live their lives by satisfying many intrinsic family and traditional values and social values (unlike western world, there in almost all cases, they are very independent ). So a couple living in such an arranged marriage always think twice before they do something bad, or say something bad and think about the consequences which would affect their siblings and their traditions and their entire families. And that is why, there is much compromise , support by the family and trust established. And that is why many arranged marriages there are successful, because of the variations in the social structure. This will not work as well, in the Western Coutries, where we do not have such structure. Given that many in the western worlds think that in an arranged marriage anyone just pick anyones and just marry. It is not so. Many times, especially these days, both men and women are given the choice to see many such prospective families and look at their traditions and also to many levels about personality compatibilities and also for most part they seek their spouse from their own culture, relligion, traditions and so on, which makes a life a lot easier. Just a couple getting along in life is a challenge. And when religion, culture, traditions are varied, it takes a huge amount of work to keep things in place. Their society gets rid of some complexities , so marriages can last. Many love marriages do not last as long as arranged marriages in those countries, because of the same issue. If the couple has a issue, there is no one to really help or advise, and they won't listen to in the first place. It's a fight between two, and who is to say among them, is wise? There is love at first sight and then love formed because you completely understand a person. And arranged marriage usually has the second form of love. Beauty is only skin deep. Love at first sight is all about physical attraction , even before you know anything about the character of a person. The more you get to know a person, the more you get along with your spouse and his/her families, the more everyone loves you, and love is built slowly in arrange marriage. And of course love alone doesn't feed a family. There is both financial and moral support given to the couple in many cases. But that does not mean 100% of the couple in the arranged marriages are happy. There are always exceptions. Not everyone can get along with everyone in the family. But then again, that is where tradition and compromise and religious values give them the power to keep things together. The reason these days there are issue in arranged marraiges more than the older times, is primarily because of loss in family values, and family and social unity, and where these countries become more Westernized and people become independent.

Question: Arranged marriage??? If you had an arranged marriage at what age did your parents start looking for a spouse for you? I'm 14 and they will start looking when I'm 18... Also what are you opinions about arranged marriage? How was your experience with arranged marriage? with love marriage? I'm not Muslim, in case you are wondering. But I have a lot of respect for them.

Answer: Im not married yet but my marriage has already been arranged, it is also a love marriage, i really like the guy :-) I like the idea of arranged marriages because your parents know who is best for you, that is if your parents know you. Also you are not left on your own looking for someone, you might not make the right choices and be left heartbroken. btw im 19 should be getting married in the next 2 years.

Question: In arranged marriages, do the people who did the arranging have any responsibility for the marriage? As an American, I know very little about arranged marriages. One thing I would like to know is whether or not the people who arranged the marriage have any responsibility to the married couple after the wedding. What if they don't love each other? What if they try to grow to love each other and just can't? Can the people who arranged the marriage (presumably the couple's parents/families) simply say, "Too bad, not our problem."? Didn't they have a moral obligation to choose a partner the person could love?

Answer: Especially in India arranged marriages who have arranged takes responsibility of the couples when any problem arises between them.both elders families person talk together and make an arrangement to live together even though the couple refuse to live together.if they listen ok otherwise they will wash off their hands and live it to their fate.

Question: How come people think my marriage won't work out if I get an arranged marriage ? I'm Vietnamese and i'm getting married in an arranged marriage because I cannot get a girlfriend. Arranged Marriages are common in my culture. How come people think my marriage won't work out ??

Answer: I believe I have seen a few questions like this one before. Why are you asking again and again? Are you the same person trolling with different accounts? If you're making fun of the Vietnamese, please don't. Xin vui long khong lam..

Question: Does anyone think an arranged marriage would work or be a good idea? I have had trouble meeting someone and I kinda wish there was such thing as an arranged marriage in the US. I am too old though (29) but still are there any females that would just get married to a guy and then make it work after that? So you don't have to be alone forever?

Answer: It can work for some people but it sounds like you are just settling. You are still young, dont give up! lol And from my experience, when you're not looking for love is when you'll find it. When people are looking for love they tend to analyze everyone and nothing happens naturally. So just relax, put on a decent outfit, and strike up a convo with some random woman. Btw, would your really want to be married to someone that only married you so they wouldn't be alone?

Question: Can an arranged marriage work if you've ever been truly in love before? Has anyone been totally in love with someone and then had an arranged marriage with a different person? Do you think it made it harder?

Answer: i had an arranged marriage with your mom hello daughter

Question: what is the difference between Arranged marriage and love marriage ? why Arranged marriage last longer than love marriage ?Divorce rate is increasing everywhere . what is the main reason ?

Answer: ~By all the answers, you know what the differences are. The reason why the divorce rate is so high is because people don't take their vows seriously. Temptation is everywhere. Kids get married because their having sex younger, which makes them pregnant sooner. An arranged marriage might work because they don't care what the other person does, no jealousy. It's more like a roommate/friendship thing.~ **Don't marry for lust. Learn the differences.

Question: Would a marriage be considered "arranged" even if the groom or bride does the choosing? I thought it was, because a "love marriage" is when two people fall in love and traditionally date. People say arranged marriages are arranged by the parents, but there are a lot of people today that choose their bride/groom WITHOUT formally dating them. Isn't it still arranging to marry someone without falling in love first or dating them for a few years? What do you think? Kessie-Even when parents arrange the partners for their kids, they still ask their kids if they like the person. If the kid doesn't like the person the mom or dad chooses, the parent goes on to the next person.

Answer: An arranged marriage is - arranged, typically by parents, and in some cultures, while the bride and groom-to-be are still young children. This has absolutely nothing to do with whether grown ups decide to date before marriage or not. If they're choosing their own mate, then it is not 'arranged.' The point here is who does the choosing - not whether they're dating or not. People choose to get married for a lot of different reasons, not only because they love each other and, some even have this choice decided by another as in 'arranged.'

Question: What is the difference between a love marriage and an arranged marriage? What is the difference between a love marriage and an arranged marriage?

Answer: one is you want to marry the person you are getting married to...... the other.... is you are focred to marry the person you are getting married to.

Question: If you had an arranged marriage, are your happy with your wife or husband? I am UK/Christian/white and I'm curious about arranged marriages in other cultures. I heard somewhere that people who marry that way are happier after 5 years of marriage than people who pick their own partner. Also how do the parents select a suitable partner? I have a teenage son, I don't want to totally arrange his marriage but just wonder if pointing him in the direction of suitable partners would help long term or should I let him do his own thing?

Answer: the best thing is to tell him about what a wife or a memeber of you family should be like.......do this from the very beginning....and subtle.....never say " when you get married I expect you to chose a girl like this or that......instead use other people as an example.....real people and tell him how if a family is to be united a person has to think about how everyone feels. the best think for you to do is set him up on blind dates with girls you have know for a long time that you like. : )

Question: How come people keep on calling me names for getting into an arranged marriage in vietnam ? I want to get married to the girl who my mother and my aunt picked for me but i can't get married without people calling me names. They keep on calling me gay as in homo. I'm definetly not gay. I believe sticking to the vietnamese traditions of arranged marriages, in my culture arranged marriages are very successful. Everyone in vietnam gets married in an arranged marriage except only a few people.

Answer: They hate you

Question: How would you feel if your parents arranged your marriage? BQ: you know anybody who had an arranged marriage? BQ2: would you agree to marrying your first cousin?

Answer: I think if you are born in a culture where parents arrange marriage, then you believe that's the normal thing to do.You are being brought up with that. So in that case I would find it normal. But since I have not been brought up that way, I would not like it and reject it.

Question: What's the difference between Love Marriage & Arranged Marriage? What's your opinion? Which one do you prefer? In love marriage, you are married to your own girlfriend... In arranged marriage, you are married to someone's girlfriend... LOL I read it in internet today, thought of sharing it.

Answer: I am a very open minded kampong boy who spent 16 years living abroad. I opted for arranged marriage and cant thank my parents enough for the beautiful marriage life i have today. I just paid her parents a cordial visit, her mom shown me her photo. We dont even go out for date. Its just a matter of getting to know your spouse, to understand, appreciate & respect each other. Love will automatically comes in the end.

Question: What are points of feeling happy if one got engaged in arranged marriage? I really don;t understand the points why people become so much enthusiastic and feeling so much happiness if one got engaged with other? Even i don;t understand the points of happiness if one got engaged in arranged marriage? - You barely know the girl? So why people feel happy?

Answer: As I understand it, in an arranged marriage, you meet the girl first and spend time (even if not much) getting to know her. If you don't like her, you tell your parents, next! and that's that.

Question: How do you start having sex in an arranged marriage? I'm just curious...in some cultures and religions the guy and girl meet and are married and in other arranged marriages the guy and girl meet, are engaged and then they 'date' and talk and all that. If its in your culture to have an arranged marriage or you have had one, did you have sex on the marriage night or later? Wasn't it awkward, seeing as how most people having arranged marriages have not had sex before? Please tell me of your experiences. Im very curious about this

Answer: they are engaged before they even can speak to each other, but while they are engaged, they will (date) have conversations. Its funny because they will usually have that conversation right away after the engagement (usualy both are frightened). My friend Hina used to ask me all the time because she was scared of sex "whats it like? does it hurt ? im scared!" , but that was before she was engaged. now she is engaged and after they have been speaking for 2 months, she cant wait to marry him! Actually, the arranged marriage thing is really neat. both parents only want whats best for their kids, and the kids are both religious and save themselves for each other. Thats very special. After the consumation on the wedding night. Its traditional that on Friday night the wife lay with her husband unless she is menstrating. The husband always does something nice for his wife on Friday too.

Question: In an arranged marriage how long does it take to love your wife ? If you had a girlfriend until weeks before your arranged marriage, how long does it take until you forget her and fall in love with your wife ?

Answer: why not immediately i wonder

Question: What is an arranged marriage and what are the dis/advantages? when i say arranged marriage i dont mean forced marriage. please no links to websites i would like the answer simple yet informative :) thanks

Answer: There may be a couple of pros to an arranged marriage- convenient and a fast fix- however they are most just fake pro's that will end up being cons. Why not marry someone you fall in love with, you are compatible with, have been together for at least a couple of years so you know them inside and out, you know what you love and both hate about them. Personally with me for an arranged marriage,it would be a turn off just the fact that my parents chose them.

Question: How can you get an arranged marriage? I have a friend who's considering asking her parents to get an arranged marriage for her. I promised her I would find out how to do it. She is Italian and was born in America. So how do you do it?

Answer: find an Indian family and see if you can arrange it.

Question: How to talk to a girl while meeting her for arranged marriage? My parents have arranged my meeting with a girl for arranged marriage this weekend. Since I don't have girlfriend hence I don't know how to talk to girl in "Such" circumstances can anyone please guide me?

Answer: well first of all if u dont like her...then dont keep her hopes up, just tell her straight away but if u do like her....then u just gotta keep ur calm....n bring out the gentleman in u....remember she is pretty nervous 2....dont make her feel more uncomfortable...by asking weird questions or getting too nosy.... talk like u wuld when u meet a girl u like for the first time....be nice...and get to know her well......also if u find she is not too comfortable telling u much...u can just take charge and talk a little about urself.... good luck ;)

Question: How come people think I am really depressed if I want an arranged marriage ? Someone said to me, Your asking for an arranged marriage, At 19, You must be really depressed. How come they said that to me ?

Answer: They figured that you did not have the gumption to seek out a suitable partner.