Emotional Affair

Question: Emotional Affair? My husband had an emotional affair that ended several months ago. We have been going to counseling and things have been going well except for one major issue...trust. He wants to go out with "the boys" and typically in the past I haven't minded, but I feel an impending doom this time. I don't trust him. I know deep in my heart he isn't seeing her anymore nor do I think he ever slept with her or even kissed her. He has done nothing to help me regain his trust and when we talk about it, he says "either you trust me or you don't". How do I get over this?

Answer: i am going through this same thing exactly. my hubby went out for the first time last night with his friends. he told me he was going to be home at 8pm and he wasn't. he never even called to tell me that he was going to be late. i called him and he didn't answer his phone. you can imagine how i felt. i know he was with his friends because i'm friends with a wife of one of the guys that was also there. anyway, it's hard to trust them again. to let them out of your site again. but remember, if he wanted to cheat on you again, he would and there would be nothing that you could do to stop him. if he really wanted to, he would find a way. however, it's up to him now to repair the broken trust. it's not just going to fix itself. i ordered the book below for my hubby and so far it's helping. maybe it would help you too.

Question: emotional affair? does anyone believe that you can have an emotional affair my husband of 40 years has had one i find it hard to get over we are in counseling i am so hurt

Answer: These are the toughest affairs to recover for because another person has infiltrated your husband's heart and mind and creeped under his skin. Physical affairs are tough too because they are a betrayal but a man can easily get over someone that was just there to satisfy a baser instinct. It doesn't make it right but once out of sight the individual is usually out of mind. Try to find out what led to him to open his heart to another person. It isn't a common occurrence for a man. It's going to take some tough self recriminations and a strong desire to forgive. It is understandable why you are so hurt but if he is doing the work to fix whatever led up to it then you have to let that inspire hope in you. Time is the only thing that will help the intensity of your pain to dissipate. It will if you let it. If you can't then it might be better to free both of you.

Question: Is an emotional affair on Facebook as bad as a physical one if both are married to someone else? My friend's wife is having an emotional affair on Facebook with the boy she dated in High School. Both are married but chat for hours, send messages and pictures of themselves in High School. Tell each other "I love you" & "I want you" and the such. Do you think this will hurt their "real" relationships with their spouses? What should the spouses do? I told him he should contact her husband and start asking questions. Or would that just be mean?

Answer: Thats what i would do if she could, contact her husband. And if not tell her to send this women a message and say " I have been curious about u since my husband says your an old friend of his so i have been reading your notes to each other for quite awhile now and u do seem to b close friends. Have your husband and u made plans to come out here yet to visit? We would like to meet him and u, u can stay for a weekend one time. Bob has so many friends and u would just b one more for us to b friendly with. And see what happens. But she needs to talk with him and say to him to get off the computer because he gave her a good idea to look up some of her old friends too.

Question: Does having an emotional affair with someone amount to cheating on your spouse? This is a follow up question to another I had asked a long time ago. I came to the conclusion that my wife is having an emotional affair with another man. What I mean is that my wife is emotionally attached to another man. Anyway, my question is, whether this emotional affair can be termed as cheating on me?

Answer: It's maybe a good idea to talk to her and ask her why is this happening, what it is that she thinks is missing in your relationship...i know how you feel because my husband of 2yrs reconnected w/his ex and they've been talking on the phone and emailing each other for a while. good thing, she leaves in another state now...but who knows,right? in my opinion, i think there's only a matter of time to jump from an emotional affair to a physical one. Approach her and tell her how you feel, don't do the same just to make her jealous..there's no way something good will come out of it. Communication is the best. Worse case scenario, she'll deny...like my husband did...but i'm not gonna leave it at that. There is a problem and we're going to solve it...one way or the other. Good luck to you...and..good luck to me...i hope everything will work out.

Question: Is an emotional affair worse than a one night stand? Which is worse, an emotional affair where nothing sexual is going on? Or a meaningless one night stand where there is no emotional connection but there is physical involvement?

Answer: I guess you have never been in one of these situations, I caught my husband in both situations and the pain was VERY BAD either way. In the first situation he just wanted something physical and he lied to me about the whole thing. I found out of course and it changed everything between us, I had major trust issues and some days still do. The second time it was an emotional affair, I stumbled on some emails by accident and they talked back and forth sharing really intimate things between them. I was devastated and I told him to get his SH!T and get out as a matter of fact I helped him with that I took all his crap and threw it out the back door and I did not care who saw. He is lucky cause I almost got the lighter fluid out. No matter which of these scenarios you find yourself in the PAIN of knowing the person you love is sharing his whole life with another woman or the PAIN of knowing he put his penis in some cheap piece of A$$ is still going to affect you in a very negative way.

Question: what's the difference between an emotional relationship and an emotional affair? Me and my friend are in an emotional relationship, but everything's always referred to an emotional affair. Him and I are not married. my friend said an emotional relationship because he says he's gay, and he likes me also, but he does want to get physical, so he asked to give him time.

Answer: Just like yours they both end up with some one getting hurt, lets hope it's not you Best of luck with it

Question: What's the difference between friendship and an emotional affair? Just curious on how people out there would define the difference between what a friendship with the opposite sex is and when that friendship crosses the line. Also, is an emotional affair truly cheating?

Answer: An emotional affair would be like being intimate without actually having sex. Kissing, holding hands, grabbing butt, etc. It could also mean having cyber sex over the internet or via messenger. In either case, its pushing the envelope and is considered cheating because real physical cheating is waiting around the corner.

Question: What do you consider an emotional affair? Two questions.. What do you consider an emotional affair? What do you do once you catch said person in a very compromising text?

Answer: They haven't done it YET but you know damn well it's only a matter of time and opportunity! Umm, dunno, prolly kick them where it hurts.

Question: Is it possible to have an emotional affair? That is not internet based? It seems to me that the concept of an emotional affair can only be virtual, because if you could meet with the other person, it would likely become a physical affair. Your thoughts?

Answer: Uh .... there was one life on Earth devoid of computers and the internet as we know it today. I am from a generation that knew computers occupied vast buildings, and used thousands of tubes and required thousands of miles of wiring. Okay fast forward to today. Yes. People meet in churches, at offices and jobs, and in diners and all sorts of places and sometimes they become very intimate friends without having actual sex.

Question: What do you call an emotional affair to couples who are not married ? What do you call that kind of emotional affair to couples who are not married? For example, keeping in touch with a person from the past and hiding it although no physical contact was ever again present... what is it called (for couples/bf and gf relationships)

Answer: ... No physical contact? I'd call it just friends.

Question: What does it mean to have an "emotional affair?"? I keep seeing that on here, and hearing people say it. What exactly is it? People are always saying that married people shouldn't keep their friends of the opposite sex because it "can lead to an emotional affair." So how do people determine the difference between friendship & an emotional affair?

Answer: Having thoughts and thinking about being with other people than the person your with.

Question: How can you trust after an emotional affair? My husband had an emotional affair and now I see messages between him and his ex asking when her lunch is and is calling her she recently moved back to do town.

Answer: I would agree that you need to show trust in him to allow for him to prove he is worth your trust. If he is not going to make changes on his end though, it will become very difficult to get over and build that trust. At this point there should be no reason for contact between the two of them and the fact that he is still reaching out to her tells you that he isn't ready to move on. I am in a similar situation and it is hard to deal with. They say it is over and they want to work things out, but then turn right back around and continue the very same behavior. I wish you luck and hope things work out for the best.

Question: How do you help your spouse get over an emotional affair when he cant get her out of his head. Married 30 yrs? My husband recently hooked up with an old girlfriend from high school (30 years ago) and what started out as a friendship has turned into an emotional affair. He has ceased contact and we are in counseling; however, he can't get her out of his head so that we can repair our marriage. We both agree that this is what we want to do. HELP!!!

Answer: I found a really informative link on exactly this topic. I would have copy/pasted it in here... but it's pretty lengthy. It has some good suggestions though, so you may want to check it out. :) http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/11/12-ways-to-recover-from-an-emotional-affair/ Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Question: Can somebody quote me a Bible verse that says an emotional affair is a sin? Of course a physical affair is adultery, but what constitutes adultery anyways? Is just kissing adultery? Can you do everything but go "all the way", and still not have committed adultery? That's why I am confused on the emotional end..talking w/another married person sometimes sexually, IS that adultery? I am really looking for a Christian view point on this.

Answer: Matthew 5:27-32 27 You have heard that it was said, “DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.” 28 But I am indeed saying to you that every one who looks at a woman to want her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Question: How can I tell if my husband is having an emotional affair with his boss? We have been fighting alot lately and cant even be in the same room for 5 minutes without fussing. He has changed alot in the past year. I know that he is attracted to his boss because he has told me that. Im not sure if he has had a physical affair with her. but i think he may be having an emotional affair with her. So what are some things i need to look for

Answer: Thats an awful feeling you have inside you. Thats not fair on you. I really wish your husband see's sense and jus gives u a big hug. We'll id say in my experience is does he have his fone on silent when he's with you and does he send more txt messages than before? Does he stay out till late? Does he make an effort with appearance before he goes to work? Is he generally flirtly would u say? Would u say he's miles away with his thoughts? You see he is being selfish he probably knws what your thinking about him and his boss soo he should be a man and jus reassure you that its not the case.

Question: How do you forgive an emotional affair? I found out my boyfriend of four years had an emotional affair. Every time I think about it my blood just boils. How do I move on? It has ended and he is very sorry but I can't get past it.

Answer: maybe I have psychological issues, but I don't think I would be bothered that much by an "emotional affair". I know many people who are really close friends with someone of the opposite sex and that is all they are, really close friends. I would just think of it in that perspective. I hope that made sense.

Question: Are men more upset by an emotional affair by their wives/girlfriends or a physical one? I'm always interested in what makes men and women different (besides the obvious)! I was curious as to whether men are more hurt by their woman having an emotional affair or a physical one? Yes, I know, an affair that has both is the worst. But, I'm trying to make a connection as to whether guys feel the same way on this matters as girls. Women, I think, are equally crushed by both.

Answer: Emotional affairs very often lead to a physical encounter. Emotional affairs more devastating as they generally entail a slow erosion of the relationship. They might start off so innocently but the line will be crossed. Eventually your spouse feeds on the suddenly intimate connection with the other person. They will go so far as to totally disconnect from family, friends, or anyone else who thinks opposite of them.. Suddenly they are talking to him about money issues, kids, work, and sex. Yet they don't give you a second look or won't even discuss whats for dinner with you. They suddenly see the husband as the cause for everything that's wrong. Regardless of how many times you point out she is disconnecting for some reason, she twists it back on you like some Boomerang as being your fault you don't talk, your fault you aren't intimate anymore. Blame shifting is common for the physical and emotional cheater. They have to make you look bad so that their indiscretion can be justified in their mind, and those who believe her. Otherwise they are just another trollop with their skirts above their waist and no panties on, trolling for sex. Don't worry though, the luster of her new soul mate will wear off relatively quickly. She finds that either she isn't the only beaver dam he's putting his log in or that once the tickle and chase is over or the newness is gone its just like being married again. The grass doesn't grow any better over this guys septic tank. Guy or gal the scenario isn't that different.

Question: Survey: Would you be more jealous if your partner had a physical affair or emotional affair? Would you be more jealous if your partner had physical, sexual affairs with another man/woman but were not emotionally attached or a emotional, romantic affair with another man/woman but nothing physically intimate?

Answer: I'd kick his a** either way

Question: What is the best thing to do if your wife gets involve in "Emotional Affair" ? Emotional affair does not involve physical sex. It's more on emotional intimacy. Do I need to confront my wife? Confront the other person she called FRIEND? Or to back-off and just let it go?

Answer: Kick the dudes ass and tell your wife to lay off or hit the road.

Question: Do men lie to the woman whom they have emotional affair with? My husband had an emotional affair with someone (no sex - I found letters that indicated that) but during the time it happened he made plans for our future, gave me the most wonderful hallmark card, gift etc. If he knew he doesn't want a divorce would he have said that to the woman or would he have promised her anything by lying to her. Does this make sense?

Answer: I never answer a question to be liked, I just answer, hence, in advance I want to let you know you may not like my answer. You are in denial and it will take you a process to find what this is really about. You believe to be in a special spot in his life, but is a spot that can be replaced by the other women overnight, and you go somewhere else with the hallmark card if you want to take it (suggest not to) In your eyes (I think, almost sure) it looks like he/"men" like to the woman they ave an emotional affair, but you don't want to see that he/"men" also lie to the woman they married. Your husband is selfish and needs attention of more than one women (hence, has the other woman/emotional affair), and he has lied to two people, the other woman, and you, for his absolutely own benefit. These two woman (how it looks for an outsider) are being lied and are being told basically what they should be told to be kept around, and yes, same as you have received the great hallmark card, the other woman has been told also great and equal things (same because are comming from the same author: He). It looks like he doesn't want a divorce (what would be the benefits?, almost none) and it will work for him to have you and the other woman (and probably more than her) around, for as absolutely long he can keep them all together, one requires to be married (you), the other ones doesn't (the other woman), and he could even have more but they wouldn't pay attention because he is married, basically, he just keeps what is within his reach, within the reach of a man who just wants to have women around, and doesn't have much respect for none of them in particular, otherwise he wouldn't have had that emotional affair, that until now, is basically the further he was able to go, and that for sure brought a lot of excitment. Later this excitment (with the other woman) starts to be a "rutine", and he will need to keep that excitment and will go a step further, meeting and that's a long road with lots of details I think are not part of what you asked. You caught your husband in an emotional affair, which is no different than any other affair, you basically caught him in a "stage" of an affair, and happened to be the emotional, which is the first stage of an afffair and it last depending on the people invovled, the loyal the husband is, the longer this stage could last, in some cases is a matter of a day or two. The point is, he promissed things to both, but only one will get them. At this point your road looks bumpy with him, and lots of trust (vital thing in a marriage) has been lost, just be aware things won't be easy from now on, and determine if you are willing to deal with this or not. If you leave him, you won't find someone perfect out there, it will have his things too. What you can also do, is to become his friend, try to understand why he did this (but don't blame yourself!, and/or put it as it's your fault!, he will take advantage of that and it will only harm your self esteem in the short/long run), just understand he is a person, he is not perfect, and that he has done something very stupid (you have all-all the right to blame him strongly), talk to him as a friend, not like a wife-enemy, try to figure out what is really not working well in your marriage (never beg for love), and try to be on his side, and togheter try to overcome this inconvenient (hope when you married you were expecting inconvenients), and try to move on, and give another chance. If nothing really works, and you don't like him to be having an affair (which seems to be the case), accept you married wrong and move on, because life is too short to be wasting your time next to someone who doesn't respect you. But now, you are only looking to the other women that he lied to, you (I think, almost sure) don't want to accept the hallmark card is a lie too, it is a pure lie, basically everything in the past days since the contacts started with the other person everything has been a lied to you, and that's the part you need to understand and accept, and from there continue, if you don't do that, you will be just like the many woman who later will blame the other woman (who is just one of the many woman who likes married man) in order to not to take responsibility and/or not to put responsibility on your husband, no wonder why those cases never work if nobody has responsibility in a marriage and they blame outsiders for what happens within their marriage..... Does this make sense?, I believe it does.