Psychological Parent

Question: What is another situation where a parent is considered a "psychological parent"? I read online that if two lesbain couples agreed to have a child and the lesbian biological mother of the child died, then the existing mother would be considered the "psychological parent." Would the same term be used if a man with a child from a previous marriage was with another woman? If the man stayed with the woman for a very long time and never married her, could the child refer to the other woman as a psychological parent since they are not related through blood?

Answer: Brooke, The term seems to be more of a "legal" one than a psychological one, per se. In other words, it is a terminology that was created for use in court custody hearings, to show why one person might have more rights to parent a child than the biological parent. (Originally, biological parents had much more clout and still do, I suppose, when it came to custody.) I saw the term mentioned in other cases when it came down to deciding custody between a biological father and the "psychological" father -- i.e., the man who physically sired the son, versus the man who raised him. These men were not in a relationship at all, and the term "psychological parent" was still used. Based on how it has legally been used, I think your scenario would be applicable -- a case COULD be made that the woman is the child's "psychological mother" even though she never gave birth to him herself. Some people have had concerns over this. It seems to make sense in cases where one adult has raised the child and given so much of themselves to the child, and then the biological parent (who has been absent for years) shows up and demands rights to the child just because of biology. But there are those who are afraid that adults without true claim to the child could just show up and claim "psychological parent" status over the child, if they have been involved in some way with the child's life, against the wishes of the parent who has always been there and has taken care of the child from Day #1. I'm not sure of the statistics of how this has played out in court, to know how much these fears are justified wide-scale. Hope that helps.

Question: How do you get a parent into psychological counseling if they do not want to go? I have a parent who suffers from depression but she will not seek help, instead she lashes out in anger at anyone near her, she is a very unhappy person but we do not know how to get her to seek help, what do you do.

Answer: Although there are ways to get people to go to counseling they are generally ineffective unless the person wants to attend willingly. Clinical depression will usually be caught when the person ends up hospitalized (they will be unable to move or think for days at a time), lesser long term depression is probably more difficult to get help for. If the problem is serious enough you may want to consider an intervention. Gather together people who care for them and explain how they see the person is miserable and they want to help in any way possible. The key is to be supportive regardless of their decisions. If you can't get a group of people together, try writing them a letter explaining how much they mean to you, how much you love them and want them to be happy. It is important you tell them this. Then explain some of the options you see for them. As an alternative, have you talked to your mom about why she is unhappy? Is there something you can do to help? Cleaning up around the house more, taking some of the responsibilities from her shoulders. Perhaps she feels overwhelmed. Is she possibly older and going through menopause or perimenopause? The hormonal changes can cause her to go through a period of adjustment and there can be hormonal therapies that can help with this. These options should be carefully considered with a doctor to understand the possible side-effects and consequences. Good luck for you and your family with this.

Question: What is the psychological effects on an adult that Lived with a single Parent and effect as a child? Someone that I am interested in was raised with a single parent ( his mother). His parents were married and got divorced. So he stayed with his mother. What psychological effects would that have on him as a child? And more importantly as an adult? Please assist me with this question. Should I be careful about certain things? How should I deal with him?

Answer: In today's society, being reared in a single parent household has become the norm, rather than the exception. So, normally, no psychological trauma or dysfunction will result from this type of home environment.

Question: I think I have a psychological problem, but my parent doesn't believe me? Like I said, I think I have a psychological problem but my only parent does not believe me and doesn't take it serious. He wont take me to a doctor. What can I do, I really feel that I need some help.

Answer: Talk to your family doctor or your councilor at school...if your parent won't listen to you, maybe they'll listen to some adult authority figure.

Question: What are the psychological effects on children when one parent has had an affair? Besides the obvious fallout between the unfaithful spouse and the other enraged spouse, how are children typically affected by knowledge that one of their parents was being unfaithful to the other parent? Bonus points if you give me details on the effects for specific age groups, especially preschoolers and/or older teenagers.

Answer: Generalization of impact on children is a fairly difficult thing to do given the variables: Age of the children at the time, their knowledge of the affair, how that knowledge was gained and whether the marriage survived or is dissolved, as well as the reaction of the other marriage partner. Preschool children are often blissfully unaware of such unless there is open conflict in the home. Most children until at the least the tween years spend almost no time contemplating that their parents even had let alone have a sex life. The are often more grossed out by the admission of sexual encounters than they are by marital unfaithfulness. Older children and adult children do make judgments and assign blame. You might be surprised though that it is not always the spouse who was cheated on whom the children hold responsible. At least as many children have been damaged by the scorned spouse's statements, as there are those hurt by knowledge of the affair. Part of the problem is that trust issues and such are well documented in children of divorce whether or not there was an affair making it hard to differentiate causative factors. Here are some of the more harmful situations I have heard in counseling situations: A girl comes home early to find her mother and her father friend sexually engaged in the kitchen Another girl finds her father has text messages of an intimate nature on his cell phone for a another woman. In both the above cases the girls do nothing (the correct course in most cases by the way) and have to bear the burden of the knowledge of their parents imperfections and indecretions As best one can generalize, affairs the are discoved rather than heardr about are more harmful, Affairs that end marriages are more harmful, and same sex affairs seem the most devestating to the children and not surprisingly the spouse.

Question: What psychological effects does parent/teacher communication have on the child? Early childhood education in terms of social and cognative and emotional development

Answer: his future life depends on education, the parent has the most important effect on kids. if they treat the kid good then the kid evolve nicely , if they treat him bad then he can remein with traumas and other ptoblems that will affect his life , like sexual disfunctions, phobias, autism

Question: What are the psychological affects on people who lost a parent in childhood? I mean, a child who'se father or mother died. What are the psychological affects on them later in life?

Answer: I think it depends on many other circumstances such as their living conditions after the death and who the other parent is. If a proper mourning process is completed, there shouldn't be any problem that results later in life. However, changes can occur such as a shift in household roles, and thus the personality of the mourner. For instance, someone who was once just a little girl may find herself playing mother to younger siblings to help out if all of a sudden, the actual mother is gone. Or maybe a parent is lost so a child goes to work to help pay household bills. These type of changes may ultimately change those people permanently because of changes they have to make to adapt, but that doesn't mean those changes will hurt them later in life. If emotional issues after a death persist for more than a year, psychological counseling is needed.

Question: What is the psychological problem of the sports obsessed parent? Now is the season. My brother and sister-in-law are obsessed with their kids sports. They will miss family gatherings, graduations, marriages of friends (or should I say x-friends). Is this helpful for the children. I know that is what O.J.'s mother did with him and I don't think he turned out too normal. Any thoughts? The kids are not all that talented either.

Answer: It sounds like they are trying to give their kids the message that they are the most important priority in their lives. This is not such a bad thing. However, they are failing to teach their kids that there are other obligations that are important, (weddings, graduations, etc.) that they do as a family, and that sometimes require sacrifice (like missing a practice/game). They're raising kids that feel loved and secure, but who will have terrible manners and social skills.

Question: If I am a psychological parent can the mother pull the child away and leave the state?? Please help me.? I met my ex fiance 3.5 years ago and she had a 16 week old daughter. Bio-dad was out of picture. We dated for 6 months and moved in together, I have been Alysa's father since she was 3 months and have been 100% financially and emotionally involved with her ever day of her life. She is a major Daddy's girl and we have a bond like no other. My ex and I were suppose to be married July 5th, until she cheated 5 days before our wedding and told me that This guy gives her 100% of his attention and that I give Alysa more attention than her. She said she misses all of the attention. We together even filed for step parent adoption 2 months ago, and now she wont let me see or talk to Alysa at all. She said she will not allow Alysa to have another mother some day, and that Alysa will call someone else Daddy within 6 months to a year. I have been devastated by all of this, first losing Amanda and now my child. People are saying I can be a psychological parent and get visitation.What are my rights?

Answer: Go and talk to a lawyer. My ex had a daughter he payed support for and had regular visitation with. Then the mother decided he didn't need to see her. He took her to court for visitation and a paternity test. The test showed he was not the father. Regardless of the test results he had raised and been in this child's life since birth. She looked upon him as her dad. He took her to court and because of the support he had provided, the bond of father and daughter, and the fact that she had lied to him about paternity he won visitation.

Question: what are the psychological pitfalls from coming from a single parent family? especially in young males being raised by a woman?

Answer: None, if you use me as a case study. I grew up in a single parent family (just my mom and I) until she married my stepfather when I was 11. But young males might struggle with not having a strong male figure to look up to as a child and especially as a teenager. A close relationship with a grandfather, uncle, brother, or other trusted adult can really help.

Question: What are the psychological effects on a young child who witnesses the rape of a parent, sibling, or friend? Also, how would it affect if he/she was responsible for watching a sibling who was rape, and felt that it may be his/her fault? Lastly, would the effects be much greater if the rape lead to death, or would the effects only be slightly greater? Thank you.

Answer: Witnessing a rape could lead, besides many other things, to PTSD but it doesn't have to. How a person reacts to a traumatic event is deter.mined many things and while one person is affected another person may just contiune life as before

Question: What does "lately" mean on the Parent Extended Rating Form from the Psychological Assessment Resources? does it mean the past year, few months, etc. for a boy of 16?

Answer: The last few months.

Question: What are the potential psychological concequences of losing a parent in your early childhood? My new girlfriend told me her dad died when she was 7. What can I expect or anticipate in terms of her behavior? Will she be distant, clingy, keep things to herself, be permiscuous, opt for older men, cheat... What do you think? Any tips on telltale signs?

Answer: It must be very hard for her never having had a dad to really gage what to look for in a guy. Girls are usually "daddy's little girl" and they compare love based on their experience with their father. Not having had that, I'm sure she will be very unsure of her feelings, when to trust, how to trust, or even perhaps in choosing the right guy to be with. Just take it slow and see how things unfold. A good relationship is based on many things, and a lot of tragedies, adversities and other hardships will try you both if you stick it out for the long run. If you really care about her, you be that guy that she can admire, respect and love, if you are trustworthy of all that. Probably this relationship with you will be critical if it's her first love. This is the relationship she will gage all other relationships by if it doesnt work. Not saying that to put pressure on you but just that you should be kind to her. She's had it rough enough.

Question: Parent constantly checks my bedroom. Might that parent have a psychological problem.? so my annoying step-dad checks my room everytime he gets the chance when im not home to see if its clean. he is ddefinitely a perfectionist but is there something else going on here too?

Answer: Sounds like a parent actually doing a little parenting. Gasp! ~Dr. B.~

Question: why dont parent observe psychological factors,they just see whether children are studyin properly? like what is gooing on in children minds and help them with their experience

Answer: The only way you can help/teach a child is to understand what their thinking.

Question: Does the death of a parent, when you are young, cause any psychological effects? Thanks phoebekay, can you please mail me more details on that?

Answer: Children whose parents have died, along with their surviving caregivers, were at higher risk for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This association remained after controlling for psychiatric disorders in the deceased parent. Children and caregivers in families where a parent had died of suicide were no more likely than those in families where a parent died of other causes to develop PTSD or other psychiatric disorders. Children's symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal behavior and complicated grief (severe, lasting unhappiness) were associated with similar symptoms in surviving caregivers. It can do it depends on your reaction after the death and how well you were able to cope with the death, and moving on from that point in time. x

Question: the psychological effect of feeling unwanted by a parent could have on a child? I want to know if someone throughout their childhood felt like their parents were basically doing the thing mother and fathers (feed , cloth, school) but not really wanting the child to be there. Could this lead to the child as an adult to be very selfish and defensive??? Also the child hasn't spoken to parents for 5 yrs now, because they feel that the parent doesn't want to have a relationship uncommonforum

Answer: Sounds more like a person who is selfish and self centered whose parents were there for them and took care of them but didn't get everything they wanted and now as an adult still thinks someone owes them something. That person needs to get off the pity pot and take responsibility for their life now.

Question: is there any option to avoid the kids in psychological affect by separate parent? anyway im one of there parent

Answer: Don't talk trash about the other parent, let your kids know it's not their fault you seperated, let them know how much you love them.

Question: Do children of divorced parents develop psychological problems that persist into their adulthood? The parents are the role models, right? So doesn't the child look to her/his parents to learn about love by observing how they treat each other? How does this affect them? Do children of divorced parents develop psychological problems that persist into their adult?

Answer: not always it depends on how bad the situation with the parents was and how emotionally stable the child is. when ours divorced we were young and we are all just fine now as adults. well my brother is 10 but im 21 and my sis is 18 and we had no affect. yes we were very confused at the time and had issues but not psychological. they try forcing the parent into believing a divorce mentally affects a child but no it doesnt in every case.

Question: Are adoptees more, less, or just as likely to seek out psychological parents as bio kids are? I just tripped over http://www.typeinsights.com/blog/clarify… whilst researching for my psych. assignment. Your opinions on this idea? No Matthew, it's a rainbow-farting unicorn.

Answer: Good question---I think they are just as likely to seek out psychological parents. Our daughter who spent a year in many foster homes before finding us thought a lot of her foster mom before us and she was a positive Force in our child's life.