Paternity Establishment

Question: Paternity establishment.....? With my current pregnancy the father is behaving like a 15 year old boy claiming that this child is not his and even going so far as to spread vicious rumors about me in order to discredit me further. Although establishing paternity and making him pay child support are alluring ideas, I don't think I want him to have any ties to the child. He behavior and that of his family have been completely negative and downright abusive. Does anyone have any other ideas or opinions on this matter. Please respond without being rude or condescending. I am not a child and not stupid, just looking for other options here.

Answer: If you have truly thought this through and are prepared to raise this child on your own, then by all means do what you have to do. Don't bother establishing paternity and leave his name off the birth certificate so he has no claim to the child. It also will make it easier if you find the right man down the road and he wants to adopt your child. :) Good luck in what ever decision you make.

Question: What is the time frame for paternity establishment in Massachusetts? I live in a different state so am not sure how long Massachusetts takes to schedule DNA testing and to receive the results.

Answer: It will depend on the court and the lab. Each Court sets its own schedule for the hearings. The time to reply to your complaint is determined by state statute. Usually a 30 or 60 day time-frame is allowed for the other party to reply. The Lab will normally schedule an appointment within a couple weeks and it normally takes a couple weeks for the results to be returned. Pay attention to who they will be sending the result to because sometimes people are waiting but they were not on the list to receive the results.

Question: Can I file request for establishment for paternity in Arizona if my son was born in Iowa? I allegedly have a son that was conceived in Arizona and born in Iowa. The mother received medical state assistance in Arizona and moved to Iowa unbeknownst to me. I have made several attempts to become a part of his life to no avail. I have recently been told by his grandmother that they won't keep him from me however, they refuse to take my calls and the only correspondence is vague emails to me with no offering to bring him here and no arrangements or ability to discuss me visiting there. The mother is on financial assistance for her two other children and child support has no record in Iowa of assisting with my son. I would like to know if I am able to file petition for paternity in Arizona which would force her to come out here for establishment and visitation. I know that the mother is living with my sons grandmother in a two bedroom house along with her two other children and my son. Her living circumstances are very shady and she refuses to speak with me on the phone. I have spoken with Iowa Fathers, an advocacy group and they have assisted to get me forms to file in Iowa however, I have a mother with terminal cancer in Arizona and I am hesitant to travel in her condition, it could be literally any day. I really want my mother to see my son before she passes and have been told to request an emergency hearing so that this can be done. I am being told by the grandmother, who has been the one who has corresponded with me in regards to my son's well being. I actually went to visit him in July. I am desperate to become a part of his life and now the grandmother says that due to my past (traffic ticket misdemeanor) that she will request that my visits are supervised and that even though her daughter said I could come out and fly him back here to see my mom that she is going to request I have supervised visits. I am being bullied because they are selfish. I seriously need some help!! If ANYONE can send me in the right direction. I love my son.

Answer: I hate to give you such a pat answer but your best bet is to speak to an attorney where you are in Arizona. He may refer you to an attorney in Iowa. I just want to say that it is wonderful to hear of a father who wants to stand up and take his place as a dad! I commend you highly! I saw this on the net, you may want to start with these guys, but do look into others---this is not my endorsement so do your homework! [email protected] <[email protected]> Best Wishes! The child's grandmother is only throwing fear at you so you won't take the child. I doubt that the court will overstep the wishes of the child's mother...work on that angle.

Question: How do I force establishment for paternity? I have been told by my ex that we are having a baby April 11, in two weeks. I have know about this. The problem is that she moved back to Iowa and I live in Arizona. She is together with her oldest son's dad and won't return any of my calls. I have tried to speak with her in the interest of this child to take care what is my responsibility. I have requested that we take a paternity test prior to anything else and I can't get her to respond. Some time ago she agreed to paternity and I honestly don't think she was with anyone else. She has not really asked for anything from me and has a deep anger because I didn't tell her and help her stay here in Arizona. I want to have a paternity test and take care of my son but I don't know how to go about this....who do I contact in Iowa and how do can I be a father to his son when we're so far away and she won't speak to me? Confused

Answer: First thing i want to say, is if i were you i would get the ball moving like yeasterday LOL. Think about it this way, if shes living with the father of her oldest son, and he signs this childs birth certificate when born, your going to have a whole new fight to fight and it will cost you alot of money, time, and headachs. I think you need to contact your local child support and explain the situation to them and see what they advise you to do. Obviously at this point they will probably tell you to speak with an attorney and have them assist you in this matter. BUT if this child is born, and shes on state assistance, as in Medicaid or ANY form of government assistance, child support will be more than happy to speak with you and work this out. They want a father listed so he can pay the bills the state is footing for that child. Again my main concern would be that this child is born into another family, and if that man feels comfortable signing the birth certificate, your up a creek with no paddle. Its just like the whole anna nicole deal. Once a father or man signs the birth certificate, paternity has been established, even if its incorrect, its much harder to get those things straightened out. You cannot make her accpet your phone calls. Maybe this other man is somehow the father, thinks hes the father (being used) or he doesnt know about you. You have a right to call her number all day long. you have reason. I wish you luck and let me know how things go for you!

Question: Abusive Father wants Paternity Establishment? I am 6 months pregnant. I will not put his last name when the baby is born on the birth certificate. The father of my baby wants Paternity Establishment. We are no longer togehter because he was abusive, used drugs (cocaine), he hit me when I was 4 months pregnant, He had told me that he whiches the baby is dead and he doesnt want nothing to do with the baby. But lately he tells me he is going to court to Established Paternity. I dont want my baby to be with someone abusive like this I think the baby will not be save. We got court on August. What are other options??

Answer: just because he establishes paternity it does not automatically give him the right to take the child from you. it will give him rights to her/him. so if he tries fightig you for custody just bring up his lifestyle in court so he only gets supervised visitation. no judge will rip a newborn baby from their mother unless he can prove you are unfit, abusive, neglectful. i wouldnt worry too much about it.

Question: Establishing paternity without a test or signature on the voluntary establishment of paternity form.? The father of my baby is very flaky. We are good one moment and he wants to be an active participant in our child's life and then after I find out he's cheating, he says he will not participate and I will not be able to track him down for paternity. He threatens to disappear and if he does receive a court appt, he will claim to be out of state for work, with proof. I have kept all the text messages he has sent . There are several in which he admits that he is the father. Is there a way that this would be proof of paternity in the courts?

Answer: No. Haven't you ever seen the Maury Povitch Show? Sometimes the mothers don't even know who the father is. How is the guy supposed to know? We have DNA now, and that's it. But this guys is fulla bologna. He's bluffing. Save the text messages and print them out and mail them to him. If anyone helps him to fake papers for court, that is conspiracy to defraud you of child support, plus a few other charges. This guy is a four flusher (ya need five for a flush). Do what you need to do to get your court ordered child support and he will bend over like Ben Dover..

Question: Paterntiy Establishment and Child Support? My baby father has moved to another state before my child was born. How will paternity establishment and child support play out? Will it be under my state jusrisdiction since I file it here and he used to lived in the same as I did? or Will I have to file for an interstate case?

Answer: It should be in the state you are in, or the state he is in. Do research and go through the state that will give you the most money.

Question: Abusive Father wants Paternity Established? I am 6 months pregnant. The father of my baby wants Paternity Establishment. We are no longer togehter because he was abusive, used drugs (cocaine), he hit me when I was 4 months pregnant, He had told me that he whiches the baby is dead and he doesnt want nothing to do with the baby. But lately he tells me he is going to court to Established Paternity. I dont want my baby to be with someone abusive like this I think the baby will not be save. We got court on August. What are other options?? I will not put his last name on my babys birth certificate when he borns/

Answer: If the court orders the test, you need to go and get it done. In your reply to the court just add that he was physically abusive toward you and that if he is allowed visitaion you would ask they only give him supervised information. It is not hard to get the court to order a test if they can get personal jurisdiction. Do things the legal way or you will look bad to the court.

Question: Texas- Paternity, birth certificates and home birth? For personal and spiritual reasons, I would like to give birth to my children in the comfort of my own home. Primarily, this is because I have a great belief in the human body's natural processes and will. After all, billions of women for thousands of years have had children without the aid of an epidural- if they could do it, I can do it! But I had a few questions. How does the birth certificate process work in a home birth? How long do I have to fill out a birth certificate with the child's name and parental information? Do I have to name the baby and fill out the paperwork to the best of my ability immediately, or can I wait a few days/weeks for spiritual or paternity-establishment purposes? Home birth is not as simple as going into labor in bed and choosing to stay there. It's a detailed process with a midwife or doula and some times other medical personelle there as a just in case. Even without additional personelle, every home birth has a Plan B if something does go wrong and you need medical assistance. I have done my research and, in some cases, a properly performed home birth is just as safe if not safer than a hospital birth for both mother and little one. I've made an educated decision about my method of birth after researching every method I've ever heard of (home, water, hospital, elective caeseran, etc)

Answer: This is extremely dangerous. What if something goes wrong or needs to be taken out via c-section? Aren't you afraid something could happen to your little one or to yourself??? And you can give birth in a hospital without recieving an epidural.

Question: DNA testing for paternity verification? Now that DNA testing is becoming more mainstream, more accurate, and much faster to process, do you think that "Father Unknown" on birth certificates will be a thing of the past? Do you think that men will basically be "signing their name to a child support check" when they impregnate a woman? Will guys be identified immediately as the father of the baby when the child is born? What do you think about DNA testing and the establishment of paternity? Will this be the end of the "hit and run" deadbeat dad who says, "That kid ain't mine? Your opinions would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

Answer: Well if the hospitals would work with the CSEA (child support enforcement agency- they do the majority of paternity testing in US because it is free.) then this is a great possibility. Most hospitals will not even do paternity testing and tell moms in these types of situations that they have to take the dad downtown or to CSEA to have a test done. So a dad could see the child, say it's not mine, and run away. Paternity tests can be court ordered now, but men still run away and would rather have warrants for their arrest. But, if the hospitals and CSEA worked together, we can make more men take care of their responsibilities. But, I don't think there will ever be an end to the problem of "father unknown." Women who may have slept with two different men, or men who ran out on the woman while she was pregnant will still be a problem.

Question: I have been attempting to establish paternity for a child, whose not with mother. I need to locate child, how? The mother "unofficially" let her ex-boyfriend have her. He may or may not have gained some type of rights over her. i have even heard that this child may either be still with him, or in a foster home. All I know is that there has been NO paternity established for this child. DSS in this state has given me the run-around for almost 3 years. i even found out that this child was in a local foster care facility, here, in the same county for 3 months while my establishment case was opened, 2 years ago. Back then, I was never notified of this from DSS. Instead, they closed my case in July 2004. I am still determined to find out the truth once and for all, whether I am this girl's father or not. Attorneys have told me that I at least need to know where the child is before i can seek a court order. i need help elsewhere, as I am still helpless all this time later. this child is now 7 years old. All I know, is that she could be in either Georgia, or north carolina with the ex's family. Also, since I am not established as the child's father, foster facilities won't quickly give me info. All i have is the child's full name and birthdate. I even called a PI, and he told me that he doesn't locate children, and that "only DSS would know where the child is" was his exact words. Various DSS employees act as if they don't want to touch this. I have even been told by a few employees to just "give up". Can you believe that? I know who the ex's family is, I have even made contact with them, but they try to avoid me all the way, simply because of my possible connection. So you can see, I have made several different approaches on this. Even though they didn't work, I still believe that there is a way. I appreciate all answers, Thank you.

Answer: If you know the child's first and last name I would call the foster care facility that you heard she was in. If that doesn't get you anywhere, call the foster care facilities in Georgia and N. Carolina in the cities you think she might be in. You could also try calling CPS in those states to see if they have any information they can give you. You could try getting in contact with the ex's family perhaps? Good luck, I hope you find her!

Question: Birth mother wants to put the baby up for adoption. The birth father is against it.? My husband and I are in the process of adoption. We have been approached by a young woman that wants us to adopt her child. The birth father is against this adoption. Would we have a case if we decided to go through with the adoption and fight the birth father? The birth father does not have the means to support this child alone. He wanted her to abort the child, but since she didn’t he is living by the philosophy of "either I get it or no one does." It is more of him wanting to win than really wanting this child. Does anyone know what we would be up against? Would we even have a shot of keeping this baby if he decided to fight us for it? He has claimed to have filed some sort of pre-paternity establishment. Does this even exist? We live in Texas.

Answer: Unfortunately, he has more right to the baby than you do. Unless his parental rights are terminated for some reason, he will have custody of that baby.

Question: How can the child support agency charge me for child support if i am not on the childs birth certifate? I wasnt there for the childs birth. I did not sign the voluntary establishment stating that i am the father. And the child support agency never gave me a paternity test.

Answer: The mother went through great lengths to get you. I have never heard of this happening unless like the other person stated you did not appear to say that you are not the father, still thats kinda messed up. Damned if you do, damned if you dont show up... I hope you get to the bottom of this.

Question: American Coalition for Fathers and Children? I am trying to find more information about a Dr. Warren Farrell. I do like what he is doing to advocate the creation of a family law system, legislative system, and public awareness which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce, and the breakup of a family or establishment of paternity. Does anyone know if he is making any headway in the prevention of the atrocities committed by Domestic Relations Judges who use the divorce industry against parents, children and grandparents? Edit: Thank you so much Jo. I have read a few articles and I was trying to find more information before I formed an opinion. I really am trying to look at these issues from both sides. :) Wolf: I am under the impression that either you did not read my question well, or you have no clue what I am talking about. Yes, children are usually given to the primary caregiver, but that does not mean that our courts do not take advantage of Fathers, or Mothers, whatever the case may be. I am just seeking a different point of view from others who may or may not be familiar with his work. I am a woman, therefore if I were to go through a divorce I could not do so as a man, or ever experience it from a male point of view. What is so elementary about comprehending that I want to see the other side?

Answer: Warren Farrell has his own web site and has written many books. The information that you seek may depend on your personal views. Most feminists, like myself, don't particularly care for what the guy has to say. Liz Notes, Trish Wilson, Moms Movement, Wikipedia would have info. to start. If you like the guy, follow the links to some of the FR sites. There are a whole slew of FR supporters - Mack, Baskerville, Carey Roberts, Wendy McElroy, etc. The research on FR supporters indicate that the fathers (and 2nd wives) want joint custody but the research (stanford & harvard) indicates mothers still do most of the parenting but have less child custody support payments. Thus, most of us think it's just a ruse to lower payments (look at their sites & you will see all the ads for books, videos or kits to lower payments). MOst states have not allowed presumptive shared custody. Judges can make this decision if both parents agree to it, and if not, judges must use the "best interest of the child" to make a decision. Often, this means the mother is awarded custody - for several factors, but most importantly (or commonly) its b/c she's providing the most care. anyway, good luck. look at all the info- both sides.

Question: Why would a paternity test be sealed and the judge the only one allowed to see? My husband has a 10 year old daughter. Mom claimed, when she was 4, that my husband may not be the father. They took a paternity test but the results are sealed and only viewable by the judge (why???). Because he had been her father for 4 years, my husband went on to sign a "waiver of rights re:establishment of parental relationship" so legally he is her father and he is happy to be but we are wondering if she is actually his. Are results sealed if you are the father in a case? The results make no impact on his feelings or continued relationship with her. At this point, all these years later we are just curious as some minor learning problems have occured with his daughter and we are about the have a baby ourself and wondering if we should be concerned.

Answer: He should be able to see the results. When I had my test done copies went to me, my lawyer and her lawyer. None went to the judge. He can be the legal father even though he is not the bio-father; it is called "estoppel".

Question: Why would a paternity test be sealed? My husband has a 10 year old daughter. Mom claimed, when she was 4, that my husband may not be the father. They took a paternity test but the results are sealed and only viewable by the judge (why???). Because he had been her father for 4 years, my husband went on to sign a "waiver of rights re:establishment of parental relationship" so legally he is her father and he is happy to be but we are wondering if she is actually his. Are results sealed if you are the father in a case? The results make no impact on his feelings or continued relationship with her. At this point, all these years later we are just curious as some minor learning problems have occured with his daughter and we are about the have a baby ourself and wondering if we should be concerned.

Answer: I answered one of your other questions, check out the answer there.

Question: Can my ex-s mom tell me what to do? My ex and I have a child we are not married. I just got done filling a paternity establishment form. If the test comes back proving that i am the father of my ex's child, can her mom legally tell me what i can and cannot do with my could be child

Answer: No, not legally. But in practical experience, it depends on how close your ex is to her mom and how much she listens to her. If she doesn't live with her mom, and you two can talk things over and agree together, then it's cool. But if she lives with her mom and her mom's taking care of both her and the baby, then grandma's ruling the roost.

Question: so if a deadbeat dad...? files for paternity establishment and child support, then he withdraws the case and decides not to pursue anything, what are his chances of successfully getting visitation/rights in the future if he decides to refile? the case manager said he cant file again for a minimum of 6 months. he is facing felony drug charges in january. first of all, hes not the father of MY biological child. he is the father of the child i am raising. second of all if i wanted to be judged i would have asked this is religion & spirituality.

Answer: I'm not sure if I'm understanding correctly honey but here they view child support and visitation as two separate issues. Even if he is in jail - convicted of first degree murder - the Court will order him to have visitation at least once a month and if I don't take them - I am in Contempt. Ain't that just about a *****? I don't know about the six month thing - but here no matter what - he's getting visitation. Even if he doesn't exercise it for FIVE years - if he shows up and brings the police - I'm the one in trouble.

Question: Father of child didn't respond to summons? My daughter is one. There was a summons sent to her father for establishment of paternity and child support. He had 20 days to respond. He did not. What happens now and what kind of rights does he have in this situation? Or will he automatically be granted certain child support/visitation on the court's own or will he get nothing?

Answer: If he does not respond, he defaults.

Question: What happens if you dont obey a court order & how long until something is done? Im going through a divorce. I do have a lawyer doing everything for me so everything is filed correctly with the courts ect. My soon to be ex wife has been served with a paternity establishment order signed by the judge to contact CSED who has also been given these papers, to call the csed to set up and get blood work done on 1 of the kids. And also a separate order telling her to unblock my kids phones and a few other things(shes being extremely bitter) This was a month ago that she got the orders and she hasnt done anything that shes been ordered. I will ask my lawyer about this eventually but for now can anyone tell me what happens if she continues to ignore everything that shes been ordered to do by the courts, what will happen? Also how long until she gets in trouble for this?? How long does it take of ignoring your orders until they finally throw you in jail?? Id prefer her to just do what shes told but either way I want to see something get done

Answer: If she doesn't comply, your attorney will file a motion for contempt. They will subhoena her to court. It's called an Show Cause Order. She has to show why she has not done what she was ordered. For instance, if she has not unblocked the telephone, you can have telephone records of the dates/times you called your kids and try to get their phone records also to show the calls did not go through. Your attorney will be able to tell you what you need to prove that she is in contempt. After she appears before the judge, if she has not complied, she will again be ordered to comply. She can also be fined or given jail time. That is not common and usually done when someone just continuously, blatantly refuses to follow court orders.