Adoption

Question: Adoption!? My husband and I have been together for 5 years. However, we just got married this saturday [7/7]. But, we have been trying to have a baby for the last year or so. We've talked about adoption, and we are just wondering alot of things. Like, do you have to own a home? Are their requirements as far as income? How long do you have to be married, how old do you have to be? And is it possbile for someone to just sign custody over to us instead of going thru an adoption agency? If anyone knows anything about adoption please share. thanks.

Answer: We adopted both of our children, and I know restrictions can vary for each agency (and country if internaional). You'll need to be married at least 1 year (and 2-5 years for many agencies/ countries) You usually will not need to own your home, and can live in an apartment. Some have income requirements but they are pretty low. We adopted from Korea and the yearly minimum family income was only $30,000 per family) Age can very, often is 25 years+ (sometimes older, and some agencies or countries have a cut off at 45 or 50. Although you don't have to go through an agency, even if you locate a potential birthmother on your own, you'll still need to go thru the legal process of adoption, and will probably still need a homestudy and background check, and will need to hire a attorney. You won't have to meet all of the agency requirements, but it should still cost sveral thousand dollars, and in some cases can be just as expensive as an agency adoption. Also, the amount of time birthparents have to decide not to proceed with the adoption in the US can vary from state to state, but it is NOT 5 years. Usually it's a few weeks or months, but some allow a period of one or two years ONLY if it is proven that the adoption process was corrupt. In international adoptions the birthparents rights have usually been relinquished once the child is in the US.

Question: adoption .????????????????????????????????? i want a semi-open adoption for my new baby when i adopt it .... but im scared that the mother will want her baby back.. and take it back from me can she do that? how would i prevent her from doing that

Answer: yes she can.. there is a 6 month period that she can change her mind... i let my son be adopted and i was told that if after 6 months i didnt want him that he was theirs but i wanted him back with in those 6 months i could get him back... i was also adopted and it happend to my adopted parents... they adopted me then 5 months later my mom came and took me away then got rid of me again so YES it can happen... i know from lots of expereince

Question: ADOPTION.............................? Ok, so I asked a question about 'references' yesterday, and im wondering do they call your 'references' straight away while you are at the shelter? or do they call after you leave? I have a VERY well looked after Pointer already that I will bring to meet the new dog, so maybe they will see I am a responsible owner lol? Do ALL Shelters insist on having references? I honestly don't have anybody to put:( What questions will they ask my references? Oh and remember I live in Australia. lol thanks, but I don't have my neighbours number, and my manager ect. don't know anything about my dog!

Answer: probably after you leave, or while youre in a different room, but it all just depends on the place. I'm pretty sure they wont call while youre sitting right there though because that would be awkward. and most places call your vets office, and check to see if your past pets have had all their shots on time and stuff, so its kind of a big task of a thing they go through MOST shelters ask for references. just put a family member, a landlord, a manager from work, or a neighbor. even if they see you have a well taken care of dog, they'll probably still call your references. hahaha it shouldnt be a big deal though, they just want to be sure the dog is going to the right owner, and going to a home that will be the right fit for it. oh and sooooo cool you live in australia. if i wouldnt have to leave my entire family in the united states, Austrailia would be where I'd go.

Question: In a private adoption, is previous depression a factor if the birth mother does not care? I know that for some adoption agencies in the US and in some countries there are different rules for adoption. Previous depression, BMI, etc are also factors. Are private adoptions subject to the same rules/conditions?

Answer: If your aim is to adopt a new born privately then these things are the decision of the mother choosing the family who will adopt. So even if the agency doesn't have an issue the mother may--she may have an issue about anything and not select a family for any reason that matters to her. If you are adopting a child in foster care any mental health history will be taken into consideration. What will matter the most in that case is How you have managed the depression and if you have taken steps to have it treated. In these cases, families may need to spend time and have a psychological evaluation...Often, a parents history and how they have managed it may be considered a benefit when placing children from foster care--As whom else can identify with the potential depression or mental health needs of a traumatized child better then a parent whom has handled their own issues properly?

Question: What is the difference between adoption disruption and adoption dissolution? I'm curious, people mention adoption disruption but do people really know what that is and why it's different from an adoption dissolution?

Answer: Laurie is right. People tend to use the word disruption for both situations, though.

Question: How come adoption agencies and attorneys are allowed to profit from adoption? I was talking with my Mom and she made the point that it is illegal to for a organ donor to profit from donating their organ but doctors are allowed to make hundreds of thousands of dollars. She then said that adoption is basically the same way as an organ donation. She said that is the organ donor or natural mother isn't allowed to profit from the procedure than the doctors, adoption agency, and attorneys shouldn't be allowed to profit either. What do you think? With adoption and organ donors nobody should profit because without a donor or natural mother their would be no product. Sorry I am trying to put it in language that will not offend anybody.

Answer: great question...i'd love to have been in the living room with you and your mom.. i think the only similarity between the two is that those with the affluence benefit from the "suffering" and "social pathology" of those less affluent. quite honestly, i have a problem with organ donation programs. i completed graduate school in an urban university and was sickened by how the transplants were handled. first, most "transplant centers" tend to be in inner-city hospitals with large minority populations who are "healthy, young...and plagued by gun violence." yet, the donors are usually older affluent and non-minority. furthermore, it is absolutely heartless the way organ donation coordinators troll around trauma bays and waiting rooms trying to tell a grieving mother what a "gift of life" her son--who is most likely poor and minority --can give to some rich exec. with great insurance (or will pay outright) who burned out his lungs smoking 3 packs a day for 30 years! what's even sadder is that the kid in the same housing projects as the murdered youth, on the waiting list, can't afford the lung transplant because he has the "wrong insurance." now adoption: most "crisis pregnancy" agencies and programs are targeting towards poor urban and rural women. yet, the babies usually go to those older, allfuent and non-minority. regarding adoption: i think no money should change hands other than court filing fees. regarding organ donation: i think there should be more parity among donors vs. recipients; and there should be no procurement fees for transplant coordinators and other trauma room trolls.

Question: How do pet adoption fees ensure the animal gets to a good home? I want to sell my parakeets and have noticed that other people who are selling parakeets ask for adoption fees of up to 60 $ Why? How can adoption fees ensure my bird will get to a good home?

Answer: Having an adoption fee or selling a bird or any pet doesn't ensure they are going to be taken care of it only shows maybe an intention of wanting something that they would be willing to pay for. There have been lots of pets adopted from shelters, and other places only to have been abused, neglected, even killed by the adopter, purchaser, etc. You can start by asking the person interested in your keets what their knowledge of owning a parakeet is like what kind of food, houseing, daily care, treats, the bird should have. Taking the bird to them so you can see the home, making a list of the things that parakeets need and require for good health and care and comfort and making sure to give it to the person you choose, ask them who their avian vet is etc.

Question: When you speak of ADOPTION REFORM what exactly are you referring to? There are often questions on here, like right now, that address "Adoption Reform". When that question is raised usually everyone is all in favor. I have found that it often means different things to different people, much like ADOPTION itself is not one thing, but various processes, legal and otherwise, that all tend to get lumped together under the single heading of ADOPTION. While there are things about adoption I am in complete agreement need reform, I would be interested in knowing what adoption reform means to different people.

Answer: I find the entire concept of North American adoption /childwelfare industry to be fundamentally flawed. It was based in the utopian society movements of the 19th century, and the Progressive era, when 'forward thinkers' were trying to find ways to improve society. The family is the basic unit for replenishing society. Shape the family, and shape society. Adoption has re-defined how many people think of families, with government "help." Adoption of children was based on the idea that environment shaped and molded the child, who was a blank slate at birth. The falsified birth certificate and the laws reflected the "as if born to" concept of this flawed concept. Subsequent 'reform" attempts have done little to improve this situation. ETA: I should say: the child was "seen'" as a blank slate at birth in the blank slate theory

Question: How does the federal adoption tax credit work with international adoption? I know that we would need to spend the 11,000 or so in adoption expenses in order to get that matched in credit, but how does the tax credit actually work? If we fill out our taxes and we are getting a refund of say $500, do we get the credit on top of that or do we have to owe money in order to receive any of the credit?

Answer: For international adoption, you can only take the adoption credit if the adoption was finalized in 2006. The adoption credit is a non-refundable credit. This means the credit can reduce your tax liability down to $0. But if a tax payer don't owe any taxes, the adoption credit will not give the tax payer more money back. So if you are getting $500 refund because you overpay taxes, then you will get more money with adoption credit. If you are getting $500 because you are claiming Earned Income Credit, then adoption credit may not add to the amount of your refund. See instruction for form 8839 http://www.irs.gov/instructions/i8839/ch… Best wishes.

Question: On this adoption tax credit. Can you claim the credit if you adopted through a foster care agency? My adoption was final Dec 2007. I am a foster parent. since the child i adopted was in the foster care agency, can you still claim the credit? I had minimal expenses. What supporting documents do you need to submit ? If you e-file will you have to mail in or can you still do it all electronically? Thanks for all of your answers in advance.

Answer: From the IRS website... Topic 607 - Adoption Credit You may be able to take a tax credit for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child (including a child with special needs). The adoption credit is an amount subtracted from your tax liability. Although the credit generally is allowed for the year following the year in which the expenses are paid, a taxpayer who paid qualifying expenses in the current year for an adoption which became final in the current year, may be eligible to claim the credit on the current year return. The adoption credit is not available for any reimbursed expense. In addition to the credit, certain amounts reimbursed by your employer for qualifying adoption expenses may be excludable from your gross income. For both the credit or the exclusion, qualifying expenses include reasonable and necessary adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging while away from home), and other expenses directly related to and for which the principal purpose is the legal adoption of an eligible child. An eligible child must be under 18 years old, or be physically or mentally incapable of caring for himself or herself. The adoption credit or exclusion cannot be taken for a child who is not a United States citizen or resident unless the adoption becomes final. An eligible child is also a child with special needs if he or she is a United States citizen or resident and a state determines that the child cannot or should not be returned to his or her parent's home and probably will not be adopted unless assistance is provided. Under certain circumstances, the amount of your qualified adoption expenses may be increased if you adopted an eligible child with special needs. The credit and exclusion for qualifying adoption expenses are each subject to a dollar limit and an income limit. Under the dollar limit the amount of your adoption credit or exclusion is limited to the dollar limit for that year for each effort to adopt an eligible child. If you can take both a credit and an exclusion, this dollar amount applies separately to each. For example, if we assume the dollar limit for the year is $10,000 and you paid $9,000 in qualifying adoption expenses for a final adoption, while your employer paid $4,000 of additional qualifying adoption expenses, you may be able to claim a credit of up to $9,000 and also exclude up to $4,000. The dollar limit for a particular year must be reduced by the amount of qualifying expenses taken into account in previous years for the same adoption effort. The income limit on the adoption credit or exclusion is based on your modified adjusted gross income (modified AGI). If your modified AGI is below the beginning phase out amount for the year, the income limit will not affect your credit or exclusion. If your modified AGI is more than the beginning phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be reduced. If your modified AGI is above the maximum phase out amount for the year, your credit or exclusion will be eliminated. Generally, if you are married, you must file a joint return to take the adoption credit or exclusion. If your filing status is married filing separately, you can take the credit or exclusion only if you meet special requirements. To take the credit or exclusion, complete Form 8839 (PDF), Qualified Adoption Expenses, and attach the form to your Form 1040 (PDF) or Form 1040A (PDF).

Question: What wildlife adoption program is the best one to donate to? I'd like to become involved in wildlife adoption and would like to give some as gifts. There are so many out there. Does anyone know which one is best? Which one gives more to conservation? I'd like to know that my money is going to help wildlife directly.

Answer: The biggest organization with regards to helping the wildlife is the World Wildlife Fund, backed by the UNITED NATIONS. It aims to conserve and preserve our ecology and above all, protect the endangered species. The focus of the organization is varies in areas since each areas has different needs. For example, in China they help Panda, in the Philippines, they help the biggest eagles in the world, the PHILIPPINE EAGLE, in the Arctic they help the polar bears and many others. Choosing the organization can be of wide range, and it depends on your disposition of what organization to help. But then, giving money is just half the fun, try to help and reach our yourself in order for you to feel and see that you have really contributed to the environment and wildlife, and also you can have a direct hold of your money. Take care [email protected].

Question: How do adoption agencies treat gay couples wanting to adopt? Can sumone explain to me how adoption agencies find parents that are caring, lovable, and responsible enough to care for a child? How do they prove that? Do the parents have to take some test or examination before adopting, especially gay couples?

Answer: They are treated the same as any other couple---otherwise it would be discrimination. All interested in adopting or fostering will have a home study done, medical exams, fingerprinting done, references checked, training, etc etc.

Question: What country has the most helpful adoption rules? I find myself having very strong parental instincts, and i do believe that i can do a lot of good helping a child grow. However, i'm a progressive and radical person and i would not want to have to marry somebody and the only way i would "send" a child to school would be if one asks. I would be willing to relocate to a different country (although probably not USA) if that would help, but i'd like to know which countries have the most helpful adoption rules (i.e. they actually help with the adoption process rather than trying to put road blocks in place). Is there a comparison somewhere on the net?

Answer: Australia, definitely - they've almost completely banned adoption now, which is utterly excellent news. Hang on a minute... there's all these women being told that they should abandon their kids to adoption because all kids deserve two parents, so why in the world should a single person, male or female, be allowed to adopt? Surely that's contrary to why people are being encouraged to abandon their kids in the first place? Sadly though, yes, if you've got enough money, you can buy almost anything. I think, given the right case worker, and given the right incentives (e.g. money), pretty much anyone could get away with being able to adopt someone from somewhere, somehow. That doesn't mean you should though. I'm also one of them "bitter adoptees" that people like to rant about. I actually love my afam very much, and it's because they are such a fantastic family that knowing that I didn't know *any* of that about myself hurt so much. So I give you warning; as an AP, you're never gonna be able to win. Even if you're good, you can still lose. I was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old, and would like to give you a word of caution - not to put you off being willing to help a child who honestly and truly needs help, but to make you aware that adoption isn't always the rainbow farting unicorns as depicted in the media. I honestly and truly wish that I'd been aborted instead of abandoned to adoption, so please be prepared for the fact that any kid you adopt could grow up (I'm 37, so definitely and legally a "grown up" in pretty much everywhere) to be as screwed up as me. I didn't have a bad adoption - my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen... but if I'd been able to choose, I'd've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, 'cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I've gone through would've been over in minutes, instead of the decades I've been suffering for now. I've been in reunion with my bfam for a while now, and even that's proving to be completely agonising. Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.ph… For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right. (pg 50) Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory. (pg 102) It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun." (pg 117) Please read back through a few months worth of resolved questions in here http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?sid=2… and then go read through all of the books and links listed at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/t… Comprehend that lot, and you'll be about ready to adopt. :)

Question: How do I start my own adoption agency? I live in Lexington,Kentucky and want to start my own adoption agency associated with domestic adoption in the U.S or to help babies in Africa. HELP PLEASE? WITH ANY INFORMATION YOU HAVE THAT IS HELPFUL?

Answer: I would guess thar first you'd have to go to school to be a social worker of some sort and they would probably have all that info. Your guidance counselor at college would probable be a good place to start.

Question: What do you think about international adoption? I am currently in the proces of adopting a child from China. Recently, there has been a lot of debate regarding international adoption. A lot of people ask why I am adopting from another country when there are kids here that need to be adopted. I feel the system in the US is too hard to deal with and that the adoptive parents do not have as many rights as the birthmother. She can decide to not terminate parental rights at any time. It should be her perrogative, but I don't want to have a failed placement. That's why I've chosen international adoption. What's your opinion? My husband does not want to foster. I considered that in the beginning, but respect his decision. Not everybody is cut out to be a foster parent. You have to be really strong in order to let a child in and then out of your life. It's something he can't do.

Answer: First off I want to say good luck and that adoption of any kind is great. Also Chinesse babies are adorable! Now...I am a preschool teacher for under privlaged kids (poor, foster, adopted, and split home). I am a very strong believer in American adoption, when I am ready I am adopting from the US instead of having my own. Untill people are with the system they really don't understand exactly how many babies, toddlers, and children are in America that are in need of love and family. Unfortunatly our system doesn't screen the foster parents great and dont keep up on them great. I have seen MANY children that are in foster homes, not being taken care of well and with very mean foster parents in homes that the children should never be placed in. People think America does alot for ophans in America but in all actuality they don't, they have the mind "get the child in a home no matter what." It is horrible, the first time I seen this I cried and cried and was ready to start adopting, if I would adopt every child I have seen like this I would have tons of children! I really feel that in state or in country adopting is the way to go! You may being giving another child in another country a life better than most kids in that country will ever see, but that's their way of life! Children in America are starving for food and love. Orphanages and foster homes are spilling over of children that need homes. I have researched America's adoption laws and it's not that easy to have the child taken away as you think. The birth mother really has to fight for the child back, because as soon as they are getting rid of their child it is considerd neglect. And the law is that after you have started the adoptiong process the birth mother only has 20 days to start a petition to get coustody back, and is rarly granted this! But as I stated before adoption is great of any kind, I just think people should be giving American children chances! Even with all of that....I wish you and your husband the best of luck, and best of wishes for your soon-to-be new family! Congrats!

Question: What is the adoption process for adopting a rabbit at most shelters? Im looking to adopt a bunny, more specificly for the Luna house inc. but i would like to know the adoption process.

Answer: Okay so I guess you don't want to call them and find out exactly. Usually the adoption process includes this: -Interview (find out what life at home is like) -Choose bunny -Visit with bunny -Fill out paperwork -Vet referral -May have home visit (more likely a week or so after adopting to make sure bunny is happy)

Question: What qualifications are needed to conduct adoption home studies? I have always been attracted to a career in adoptions. Currently, I am a teacher. What type of certification/degree to people who do adoption home studies have?

Answer: It depends on where you are at. In my state, a degree in almost any area of study....usually a human type field, such a counseling, teaching, criminal justice......SOCIAL WORK (BSW), will get you a job as a case manager in the state social service system and yes many of them refer to themselves as 'social workers' even though they do not hold a degree in social work. Now, to do home studies.....you usually have to hold a Master's Level.....MSW, for instance, to do them on your own. You could possibly do home studies under a contractor (you would be a sub contractor) if you only hold a Bachelor's level degree. We have teachers who write insightful studies which are often better than those done by BSW or MSW level social workers. Adoption agencies, public agencies and private adoptions all require studies. If you really want to know what to expect or what is required, call your local agency, public or private and ask. As I write though, in my state a BSW is not required if working under a MSW contractor. Take care!!

Question: How does the dog adoption process work? My wife and I are thinking about adopting a dog, but I am not sure how the process works. We are kind of iffy about whether our apartment complex allows pets. There are people that have them and there is a part in our lease that says that we can't have pets, but there is also a pet addendum that says that we can. How does the adoption process work? Does the shelter try to contact my apartment complex to confirm information or what?

Answer: The shelter will want proof that you are allowed dogs. The process varies depending on where you adopt your dog. If you go to your local humane society they are so overwhelmed with dogs, they normally will just look up your complex and give them a call to make sure it's ok. You fill out your paperwork get a dog license and you're on your way with your new pet. However some of the nonprofit private shelters are a little more strict. They may want to make sure the dog is a good fit with you, the may do home visits both before and after you get your dog, request to see your vet records to make sure the dog is getting health care. It varies from place to place, but it is worth it, I have 2 dogs that I adore one of them from the local SPCA and they are the greatest companions.

Question: How soon after an adoption is final is it considered appropriate to see someone? I gave a child up for adoption recently, and have been receiving date invitations, and have turned them down. However, I do wish to date. How soon is it "alright" to do so?

Answer: I think you should get on with your life as soon as you are ready. Just make sure you don't repeat past mistakes. I'm proud of you for making a loving choice for your child. It was the hardest choice and I'm sure even harder after you gave birth. I am the mother of a 28 year old adopted daughter. I prayed frequently for my daughters biological mother and I suspect there's someone out there praying for you too.

Question: What to do before home study for adoption? I'm just starting the adoption process. I have found two special needs children that are currently in foster care. To be able to adopt either of them I need to complete a home study. Both boys are toddlers. What types of things can I prepare in my house before the social worker comes to increase the ease of the home study? Will I need to have a room already completed for a child? Will I need to have the home "child-proofed"? Any tips on the home study process, or on adoption from foster care are much appreciated.

Answer: the inspection of the house will be the same as for foster care. You can usually ge the book from your foster care co-ordinator. Basically safety covers on light sockets, no chemicals under sink or locked. Locked medicine box, power tools and paint and things out of reach in garage. In our case the inspection was the last meeting to be had,. The homestudy also involves interviews and paperwork. Make copies of all birth certificates, marriage lisence, divorce papers, tax records, pay check stubs, home, life and care insurance papers. Make doctors appointments for physicals of adult members. You do not need a room ready yet, just to show that you have room to put them. there is a site called adoption.com that has all kinds of info and people to talk to about this. We are near the end of out process.