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Left-Handed Marriage

A wedding ceremony where the husband gives his left hand to his bride, rather than his right.

Question: Should we ban left-handed marriage? I think that we should outlaw left-handed marriage. How can I get a proposition on the 2010 California election ballot that would make it illegal for left-handed people to get married? I don't think left-handed people should be allowed to get married. It's just wrong. It's unnatural. I mean I know it has absolutely nothing to do with my life and it doesn't affect my life in any way, but still, I don't like it. It's an abomination! I don't want my children being taught in school that it's okay to be left-handed! Hey, the homophobic religious fundies were able to outlaw gay marriage even though it didn't have anything to do with them or affect their lives in any way, but they were able to do it. I'm sick of left-handed people shoving their lifestyle down my throat! How can we ban left-handed marriage? Actually they do give scholarships for left-handed people Oh yeah I forgot-- left-handed people can't reproduce!

Answer: We should make it so if you're left-handed, you have to be sent to special camps where you will learn the sinfullness of your ways and turn back to being right handed! It is a personal choice after-all... And conservatives call liberals dumb-a**ess. Let's base our arguments on movies like "I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry!" and other works of fiction like The Bible! Those are great sources of information!

 


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