Open Marriage

Question: Open marriage? Do you have an open marriage with your partner (meaning that you can see other people)? If not, would you ever consider an open marriage? Thanks! I would consider it, but I certainly understand the viewpoints of those who wouldn't. just for future reference, swinging and polyamory is not the same thing.

Answer: I am in an open relationship, one that is on the polyamory side of the continuum. It does require a lot of work since we must be willing and able to maintain multiple commitments. This requires strong levels of communication, honesty, respect, and trust. We need to be willing to work through any issues that might come up quickly, before they have a chance to undermine our relationship(s). It takes a lot of work but for me, being open to the added love and connection is definitely worth it. I currently live in a MFM household with my partner and her other male partner. Not only am I in love with her, but another woman who lives about 40 miles away.

Question: Is it common for young adults to have open relationships b4 deciding on a marriage? Have you heard any such cases? Not open marriage but open relationship.

Answer: Probably common today, more so than yesterday. It has to be up to the individuals involved. If I am not serious about anyone and don't intend on marriage then open relationships may be alright. I'm thirty and have had "open" relationships that "worked," but not as a precursor for marriage. For some people they cannot accept the challenge of open relationships to their moral or religious beliefs. To others an open relationship may damage their self-esteem. So it is for whatever works for the couple. Open relationships in marriage would never work, in my opinion.

Question: Why is my husband forcing open marriage on me just to keep mistress? He moved out and stopped having sex with me 2yrs ago to be with his mistress full time. Why is he forcing an open marriage on me when he knows I'm trying to fix this broken marriage for our kids.

Answer: he isn't.... you are letting him. get a divorce... and get rid of this LOWLIFE SCUM. you don't stay married for the sake of the kids..... only does more harm than good.

Question: What is the definition of an open marriage? Under this definition, do you think an open marriage can realistically work?

Answer: Open Marriage is an arrangement between the husband and wife to permit one or both of them to have sexual relationships with other people. Often there are "rules" that limit the amount or kinds of relationships that are permitted e.g. 'we can see other people only when we are separated due to business travel'. It works for some people but for others it causes the marriage to fall apart.

Question: How to get an open marriage? I'm currently married for 27 years and I want to change it so its an open marriage where we can both see others. I told her I wanted to do that, but she's not too keen on it. Any ideas on how to sell the open marriage concept to a reluctant spouse?

Answer: Open marriage is not for everyone, but I will say you are at an ideal age. Most want to try young in a marriage, and that is bad. You should check out Jenny Block. She is the expert, and has a great book. See if your wife would be willing to read this book. I would ask why you want an open marriage. Is it purely for the sex? If so, I would go the swinging route. Are you wanting another life partner to share their life, and maybe even your spouse as well, a kind of poly relationship? Check out a site called lovemore.com. Not all open marriages are sexual. There are a lot of risk, and it requires a lot of communication, renegotiating of your relationship that can be very stressful on some. If you're wife hates stress, she might be willing to try, but she will get sick of complexity. There is always a chance it could go south. If you are trying to improve your marriage, think again, if done for this reason, it will destroy it. Then there is possibility that you or her could land a psycho who tries to mess up your life or hers to get you full time. Another less thought of situation, and this baffles sexy women, it's hard to openly date while married. Most single people will run from married people, even if you have open marriage because they just don't trust it. Most women are looking for a future. Most guys want to have sex without fear of having you or a camera hiding in a closet. Most think it would be just as easy as people cheat, but most cheaters are deceptive at first. If you are open, and honest, most will not know how to take it, if they even trust you. Just look at all the negative comments you got from the traditional types. I wouldn't push your wife into anything if you respect your marriage, even if being open is the goal. She remains primary, and she never becomes anything less unless you are ready to say good-bye to her. If she can get around the initial trauma, which may not show itself right away, maybe even years down the road, you two might have a chance at it. I would say for now is just talk about it in her comfort zone, and if she does not want to talk, I would let it go. Good Luck!

Question: How does it make two people in a marriage relationship happier to "allow more freedom" and an "open marriage"? is this a more modern concept? why this is and why having "more freedom" and an "open marriage" makes people happier? can you still love and be in a relationship in an "open marriage"?? when, how long has this been in vogue? and where, when created? WHAT REALLY IS AN "OPEN MARRIAGE"?? AND HOW DIFFERENT AND AGAIN WHY BETTER THAN A NORMAL "OZZY AND HARRIET MARRIAGE"?

Answer: Just as throughout time, things evolve, so do people's social mores and attitudes. Many people have come to know for themselves that they aren't satisfied in a sexual sense, with only having the same partner for the balance of their lives. It is so definite to be able to love someone, but want, and enjoy, intimacy and sexual activity with someone (others) else. It takes a very open-minded person to understand that concept, and most human beings simply aren't that open-minded. We all want and need to feel secure in our relationship, and adopting an open relationship is a threat to that security. Conventional marriages can work, but the proof that they are extremely difficult is in the stats. 4 or 5 out of 10 result in divorce. Of the remaining 6, it would go to reason that half of them are not good marriages, but the couple stays together for all sorts of other reasons. That leaves 3. Of those three, at least one is a marriage of convenience; one is a marriage where the couple are ambivalent to each other; and the last one is truly a happy union. Pessimistic - maybe, but I believe there's more truth to what I write than most married couples would ever like to admit. So an open marriage allows the couple the freedom to partner with others, while maintaining a lifetime commitment to each other on more levels than the casual hook-ups ever will.

Question: what are your feelings toward an open marriage? How do you feel about open marriages? Consider that both partners have discussed the possibility and both are fine with idea. Boundaries and "rules" have been discussed and in place. How many people think a mature couple who indulge in an open marriage can make it work and how many think not? Why or why not?

Answer: Open marriages can and do work. The problem is keeping your emotional relationship alive and well, while sharing your bodies with other people. You can love many people and for different reasons. And maintain physical relationships. In order to do that, you have to be careful not to fall into traps. One of those traps is falling in love with someone you're seeing on the side, even with your spouse's permission; and keeping the marriage working too. Many couples have open marriages. Its not a majority. But they do it if they choose to with the understanding that the married couple always come first. Their needs as a family come first. Etc. Is it recommended? No. Humans are at cross-purposes. We want to have sex with others, but at the same time we want sexual exclusivity. It doesn't make sense. But if you redefine the rules, it can still work.

Question: If you have lived in an open marriage please give advice? My husband and I have talked about having an open marriage. Not on my end but on his. If anyone has been in this form of marriage can you please give me some advice on what to do and not do.

Answer: Never been... and never will believe in open marriages....... I've counseled too many couples that have.... best way to ruin a marriage. only reason someone wants it open.... is because they want permission to cheat.... pure and simple. You took a vow... and so did your spouse...... LIVE IT.

Question: Is adultery a sin in an open marriage? If me and my wife agree to an open marriage, can we ask for special permission to be exempt from the adultery commandment? We're both relaxed about sex with other partners as it is healthy and natural for humans to be like that.

Answer: Adultery is one of the ten commandments. So yeah, it's probably a sin.

Question: Why is an open marriage not a good solution to the marriage problem? Yes...marriage is a problem. Why you ask? Well think about it....it starts of like a dare. I dare you not to cheat basically...if you do you're the devil and I'll take half your stuff and you don't respect me or love me...and blah blah blah...the list goes on and on. That being said, there are those folks that get around the whole "cheating" by just eliminating it all together with the open marriage. So ladies, explain to me again why this is not a good solution?

Answer: It IS like a dare! I totally never thought of it that way!

Question: In an open marriage do you rule out your spouse's family and relations? My husband says this is restrictive? Often at weddings and other gatherings he will latch on to one of my cousins, but I don't go there with his. Do you think he is being insensitive or am I still just prudish?

Answer: This is ridiculous. If your going to have an open marriage then why bother marrying at all?

Question: Does having an open marriage make sense to anyone? Really, why be married? Maybe I'm old fashioned but the whole thing just doesn't make sense, at all, under any circumstance. Personally I just think that anyone who does it is just heading for disaster. Probably 1 out of every 100 swinging couples ends happily and I am sure that that is because they find some way to stop swinging. All in all it just seems like a dumb thing to do.

Answer: My wife a year or so ago mentioned she wanted an open relationship. I said I couldn't right from the start. She had womanly problems and said it wasn't fair to me. I've tried to think of others or use porno but the fantasy always comes back to my wife. I guess I still love her after 8 years even though i don't get any

Question: How do i tell my husband that i want an open marriage? or just put the idea out there. i think he would go for it, but i dont know how to bring it up.

Answer: Just tell him but be prepared for a divorce.

Question: Why would anyone want an open marriage? It is interesting because I thought marriage was between a husband and wife. So what is the purpose of being married and then agreeing to have sex with other people? To prevent cheating? Why agree to share your husband or wife with someone else? Why get married?

Answer: I think it is because they are afraid of commitment, so they run from it. By dabbling in both - a committed relationship with open strings. Weird. Peace.

Question: Catholics, if the marriage is a bust, is it better to go forward with an open marriage or get divorced? We're not supposed to get divorced, but can't live with no passion either.

Answer: divorce and annul

Question: Does anyone have open marriage with two gay people? Can that work? What about someone who finally realized they are gay but they are married? What can that person do? Would you lose your kid because of it?

Answer: that rarely happens but i guess most of the times that person would be bi and not gay and that the marriage would still be okay. I guess you have to tell your spouse that your gay and apoligize and ask for a divorce. You can agree on who should keep the kid or whatever i guess..

Question: what opinion would you give about an open marriage relationship? has somene experience about this topic and could it work ?

Answer: An open marriage can work if embarked upon for the right reasons. If a couple decides to open their marriage because something is lacking or wrong within their relationship, this is very wrong and can end negatively. If both are secure, trusting and fully understand the difference in love, making love and recreational sex and are totally honest, it certainly can work and does for many couples. Ginni

Question: what do you think about an open marriage? i just met a couple who have an open marriage. they havent been doing that long and when one is somewhere with someone else I can tell the other one doesnt like it but they just act like its ok.

Answer: Open marriage as opposed to polyamory? Ummm -- you can "tell" that the other one doesn't like it -- but they just "act" like its ok. Alrighty. Let's start with your question. Get over yourself and stop projecting. You MAY be correct, but you also MAY be wrong in your interpretations. I know open couples (straight and gay) who are actually quite alright with it. I also know other family arrangements that work for the people involved. Seriously, get over the projection and respect other people's lives. Kindest thoughts, Hermes

Question: Are you or anyone you know in an open marriage or relationship? If so, is it both or does one just allow the other to do their own thing to keep the relationship in tact. Is it working?

Answer: My brother and his wife are swingers. It seems to work for them But I think she only does it so that he won't leave because I think my brother has a problem with fidelity. They have been married for a few years now. Whatever floats their boat!

Question: Is anyone in an open marriage? Can anyone in an open marriage tell me about it?

Answer: I was long ago (back in the late 1980s)...it was okay for a while, then I decided I was done "sowing my oats" and ready to settle down (I was 19 when we married...too young)...he wasn't ready however (although he was 5 yrs older than me) so while we agreed to "close" the marriage and be faithful, he cheated on me numerous times over the course of the 7-1/2 yrs 'til we separated... When the marriage was open, things were fine...no jealousy or issues over what we did when we were apart...don't believe I'd try it again though. I don't have the desire to be with someone who isn't "all I want"... ☺♥☻