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Ground S For Divorce
Each state's divorce statutes set forth certain improper or troublesome behavior that constitutes a legal reason for the court to grant a divorce. The following list, based on Massachusetts law, is for illustrative purposes only. Each term has a legal definition which may differ from commonly used English. Your state may 1) not recognize all the grounds set forth, and 2)may include other grounds. Consult local counsel. See Fault and No-Fault Divorce. 1. Adultery 2. Cruel and abusive treatment 3. Utter desertion 4. Long-term incarceration 5. Gross and confirmed habits of intoxication 6. Non-support 7. Impotency 8. Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage (no-fault)
Question: What's the shallowest ground for divorce you've ever heard?
Answer: She wanted to date hubbies client and get his money and the take back hubby. It worked fine up to the part about taking back her ex hubby.
Question: If a man found out that his wife have given birth to a child not of his doing, Is this ground for divorce? Man's wife got pregency from another man but claimed that the pregency is with lawful husband. Child was born. Husband did an DNA on child and self and confirmed otherwise. Can this be ground for divorce?
Answer: Of course it can. She broke the covenant of marriage. That is adultery, a very good reason for divorce.
Question: Is Adultery a Biblical Ground for Divorce? Many people, citing Matthew 5:32, think that adultery is a Biblical ground for divorce.
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
(Mt. 5:32)
Assuming, however, that Jesus knew the difference between adultery and fornication, I do not think so. By "fornication," Jesus may be referring to the bride who is found not to be a virgin on her wedding night, and who, pursuant to Deut. 22:20, is required to be stoned to death.
In the case of such a wife, no one else is going to marry her, because she will be dead, and surely it should not be improper for the husband, deceived about his dead wife's lack of virginity, to try to find another wife. Also, if his prior wife is dead, there is no question about divorce and remarriage anyway.
So, what Jesus seems to be saying is that nothing that happens DURING the marriage gives rise to grounds for divorce, and that Christian marriage, once contracted, is indissoluble. This is the teaching of the Catholic church and other Christian denominations that recognize no exception for divorce (other than what is found in the Petrine and Pauline privileges).
I would appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks.
Answer: The Greek word translated in the version you quoted as "fornication" refers to any type of sexual immorality. While it "could" mean that a woman had sex before marriage as opposed to committing adultery in marriage, consider this.
The Lord Jesus was talking about the Jewish Law given through Moses. Under that law, adultery was punishable by death as well as the bride who was not found to be a virgin.
So if Jesus was not talking about divorce over adultery then He was leaving the death penalty intact for adultery but not for fornication before marriage.
So it seems like in either case, while a Christian is not commanded by any means to divorce their spouse for sexual immorality, they do have Biblical grounds for the marriage to come to an end.
Also consider this. If adultery is not grounds for divorce, then what if the spouse has a continuing ongoing adulterous relationship? Is that supposed to be allowed in a marriage until "death do them part"?
It's probable that the Lord Jesus was covering both adultery and sex before marriage by using a word that applies to both situations.
Question: wife is not willing to stay with me parents are willing to send her with me. ground for divorce? My wife had gone to her parent's place and never returned. My in laws are creating a picture/communication among their relatives that i will go and pick her up which is not true. They had taken to her parents place as she was 3 months pregnant. They promised to bring her back by the end of 3 month which did not happen. Now it has been more than 3 months and there has been no communication. I wanted to break the silence to resolve any issue/ misunderstanding and went to meet her in her parents house. But her parents refused to send her with me. neither she is willing to talk to me. So i have decided to divorce her. Can any one suggest me on what ground i can apply for divorce.
Answer: Life is all about ups and downs, go to her parents house with your parents or any elder person who will support you, tell her parents that you want to talk to ur wife alone, ask her what the problem is, why she doesnt want to come back there must be some reason, she is pregnant you both are spoiling a baby's future even before he is in this world how can she be soo mean, try your best to talk to her..in case nothing happens then, go file a case that u want your wife back, dont go for divorce first..
Question: Weird.....Impotency as ground for divorce!? Hi
I have often come across questions where an Indian Hindu want divorce from his spouse due to his impotency,ie,inability to have sex.
I want to ask lawyers,In India,a person is usually a virgin before marriage.So he has sex for the 1st time only after marriage.Even if he is discovered to be impotent after marriage,shud the courts really give divorce to the immature & selfish partner?Because the person cannot know of his impotency b4 marriage.
Otherwise all Indians shud get the licence to have sex b4 marrige in order to confirm that they are capable of having sex.
Secondly,impotency is curable.So instead of the courts giving the partner divorce & in turn humiliate his spouse,shud this law not be banned?Instead they shud order the person to take his spouse for treatment.
Wud the courts take the same stand if the person wants a divorce because of his partner's pneumonia,diabetes,allergy etc?In such a situation,then the courts will term this as cruelty.
On one hand sexologists are licensed by the govt. to counsel couples & heal sexual disorders.On the other hand,this very govt. does not allow an impotent to continue the marriage.........Why this hypocrisy?
So sexologists shud be banned from practising.Then only this weird law makes sense.
What do the lawyers have to say on this?
Answer: If a man is impotent surely the marriage is null and void as it has not been consummated.
Question: About impotency as ground for divorce? Hi
I have often come across questions where an Indian Hindu want divorce from his spouse due to his impotency,ie,inability to have sex.
I want to ask lawyers,In India,a person is usually a virgin before marriage.So he has sex for the 1st time only after marriage.Even if he is discovered to be impotent after marriage,shud the courts really give divorce to the immature & selfish partner?Because the person cannot know of his impotency b4 marriage.
Otherwise all Indians shud get the licence to have sex b4 marrige in order to confirm that they are capable of having sex.
Secondly,impotency is curable.So instead of the courts giving the partner divorce & in turn humiliate his spouse,shud this law not be banned?Instead they shud order the person to take his spouse for treatment.
Wud the courts take the same stand if the person wants a divorce because of his partner's pneumonia,diabetes,allergy etc?In such a situation,then the courts will term this as cruelty.
On one hand sexologists are licensed by the govt. to counsel couples & heal sexual disorders.On the other hand,this very govt. does not allow an impotent to continue the marriage.........Why this hypocrisy?
So sexologists shud be banned from practising.Then only this weird law makes sense.
What do the Indian doctors & lawyers have to say on this?
Answer: If the partner was always impotent and the marriage has not been consummated, yes.
Question: Is this a ground for divorce? Now before you all crucify me please read my story.
I've been married 2 years to a wonderful husband. Before we married, i never told him that I had a history of depression, maybe coz i never wanted to lose him. We had a very rocky relationship because of my depression and my inability to handle stress. A few months ago, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and went into major depression. After that I lost my job, and had a nervous breakdown, and now not only suffered from depression but from extreme anxiety. I have watched my husband try and keep things together but i see that he is wearing away. He is tired of seeing me sick, and I don't blame him, because when my moods change, he's the one who gets the brunt of it. I do love him very much but i feel like he's slipping away. He is a good man, he does not cheat and he does not drink. But lately, he's been coming home, does not want to talk to me and when we talk, we're always fighting. Well, I'm always yelling and he never says a word. All this silence is really scary because i don't know what he is thinking. I don't know if i would have anything to live for if he ever leaves me.
We have no kids, he made it very clear he does not want to have any children with me, I don't know why, though i do suspect his mother warned him that she does not want sick grandbabies. What should I do? Should I just give him a divorce if he everasks for it?
Answer: Yes, set the poor man free.
Question: Is infidelity (cheating) a real ground for divorce? Infidelity has existed for as long a man. It is a known fact that man is not perfect. So, if a man/woman cheated on his/her spouse, can you really conclude that as grounds for a divorce? Of course if he/she continues to cheat, but what if he/she only cheated once? Even after a 3, 4, 5, 15 year marriage? It’s not only about discipline, but I think it’s more about the nature of man. (Women included!) You mean to tell me, that you are going to just throw away years of happiness? What about all your memories, and experiences together? What about your love for each other? Plus, then you’d have to rebuild what you had all over again, investing valuable time and trying to replace what isn’t replaceable. Why can’t we accept that fact that we aren’t perfect? Plus, although marriage is sacred, it’s not like you get married JUST for sex! No pun intended, if your marriage only revolves around sex, then perhaps you should strongly question the ethics and moral of your union. I know some liberals would suggest that we all get married for different reasons. But how can you just come along and redefine marriage? A union according to societies and the traditions our nation was built on, would surely defy a marriage based solely on sex. What do you think?
I really like a lot of you guys’ answers! But, don’t jump to conclusions too fast! I’m happily married, with two beautify baby girls! Not only have I been with my spouse for over 7 years, but we have not even had a single bad argument! She the best! I just wanted to hear different perspectives on this issue!
I really like a lot of you guys’ answers! But, don’t jump to conclusions too fast! I’m happily married, with two beautify baby girls! Not only have I been with my spouse for over 7 years, but we have not even had a single bad argument! She the best! I just wanted to hear different perspectives on this issue!
Answer: Infidelity is one of those topics that are hard to touch on. When people get married they are not expecting perfection. At least I am not! I understand you are not perfect but... if we are married I do have standards that I want you to meet. If you do not live up to them then, what am I suppose to do? Am I supposed to be unhappy? Is that even right?
Okay so one person has cheated. What’s next? I think that is depends on the marriage in the end. If one cheated and the other did not! Does that make the other partner perfect? No… the other partner was loyal to the marriage. Why aren’t you? In some cases, people do leave a marriage because of that. I don’t think that I would leave but… I would be hurt and angry. Speaking as a woman, I would feel insecure and undesirable.
Question: Silvio Berlisconi's wife to divorce him, after a series of public spats, according to BBC news webpage? Are Spats not fashionable anymore? I'd hardly think a fashion faux pas is ground for divorce?
Answer: LOL!
Question: Is this a strong ground for divorce? My hubby n I have been married for 3 yrs, 3 children (twins 3y/o and 2mths old). He left us when I was 7mths pregnant... So far, it has been 5mths+ since he moved away, never gave a cent for e children, never visited 'em, but he occasionally calls me. Sometimes he calls, it's 4 favors like lending him $.
He moved away 'cause we had a huge fight over his lies. Some of his lies: being wif a male colleague thru'out the nite till he was too tired 2 go 4 work (i confronted dis colleague in front of hubby n found out it was a lie afterall), dropped e entire sum of our baby bonus $1500 out of carelessness, withdrew $ from my ATM then denied on 3 separate occasions but later confessed as he needed 2 borrow more.
We copaid for the babysitter back then. It's 2 my disappointmt when i found out he hasnt made paymt regularly n even told her 2 hide frm me! my income is low, my youngest has a hole in e heart, still he has e cheek 2 ask me to lend him $!
So is this considered unreasonable?
thanks for all e responses n sharing... guess i cared too much, dats y i 4gave again n again. i'll stand strong for my children... being a single mom is tough, but at 21 i tink i still haf e energy to face it all on mi own!
Answer: honey, you have three kids and a little baby who needs you.. he needs special care & he needs the money your husband is trying to get... stay cool.. get divorced, higher a lawyer & take your time in raising your children cause his resence in your life is guna ruin it for you and for the kids.. He is not loyal & you don't need this kind of stress around your kids... they need you more than him.. It's time to take action and let go, if not for your sake, then for the sake of your kids =) good luck sweety and take it easy .. you seem like a loyal, hardworking mom ... You deserve better =) all the best !
Question: Divorce on cruelty ground, case in Delhi?
Im from Delhi ,I filed for divorce on cruelty ground and case is going on since last 2 and half year.
She file for Maintenance u/s 24. and reply to my divorce appli,,
Now I filed reapplication to her reply
She is told me many times over phone,, that she won’t give me divorce.
she just using harrashing tacts to me, she didn’t agree on case transfer to mediation cell.
This is on record of court order.
how to over come this situation.
Can I file another app, on desertion ground,,, since 2 year is over when she left my home with her own will and convenience?
Can I file criminal case to her along with her parent, because she written in her reply to my divorce app that they spent a lot of money on marriage and given dowry to me?
What remedies avialbale to me at this stage
Please advice me.
Answer: That is unfair on her side that she doesn’t want to live with you, but does nt want to give divorce.
May be she wants that you give her good sattlement, so that she and her child (yours too) can survive in all ups and down. (If you can understand this point of view, you can give her a decent sattlement amount so that she is free of worries about her child's upbringing.I gotta give her right in that point.)
I am a woman too. If I don’t want to live with anybody, then I would not keep him anymore in my life and relieve him thru divorce.
Mostly ignored one fact in such divorce “fights” that nobody thinks about the child. A child needs a mother and a father, even if they are saperated, they can arrange meetings between child and father and father’s family. That’s its first right. Everybody talks about their own rights, but nobody thinks about child’s rights, A right to have both a mother and a father, who are not dead.
I like onething about western countries that people get separated and divorced but kids rights are maintained by the law that the father can see his child regularly.
My Advice: don’t get too much into “legal fights”. If you go to lawyers, they will definitely say do this and that. But don’t do that, I have seen people fighting for years and years and in the end, even if they achieve what they wanted, they can not be happy. Coz they have invested years of negative energy in that.
My advice is that only give her a decent amount, get divorced (get rid of her) but make a clause after asking a lawyer that you will be seeing your child regularly. (on every Sunday or second Sunday or something like that) for lifetime. And child’s custody will be shared by both of you.
Question: Divorce on cruelty ground and Maintenance u/s 24?
I filed for divorce on cruelty and case is going on since last 2 and half year.
She file for Maintenance u/s 24. and reply to my divorce appli,,
Now I filed reapplication to her reply
She is telling me,, that she won’t give divorce me?
Now, tell me how to fight her maintenance u/s 24, which is totally misuse of law.
She herself is multi million reach girl and her family is billionaire.
How to prove this in court, she own a flat in her name which is worth more then 1 Cr.
She landed a loan to her father’s Pvt. Ltd company for 95Lac on 31st March 06 Balance sheet of that company and get back this Rs. 95L in 31st March 07 balance sheet.
She also have many FD in her name for approx 25-30 lac in bank.
But tell me… how can I prove all this in court.
I’m getting monthly salary as director of my own pvt. ltd company.
My ITR is approx Rs 6lac after tax.
And I manage to get her 2 year ITR i.e. 2006 and 2007,,
She shown income of Rs 2.0L approx by some salary and commission from here family companies in 2006 ITR with attached TDS certificate
And in some 2.0L interest from FD’s income with TDS deductions in 2007 ITR
.
beside these, she is a well educated girl, with holding degree like graduate , NIFT and MBA
I need some lawyers advice, how to dismiss her appli u/s24 and
What to do if the is not gave divorce
Can I file another app, on desertion ground,,, since 2 year is over when she left my home with her own will and convenience?
Can I file criminal case to her along with her parent, because she written in her reply to my divorce app that they spent a lot of money on marriage and given dowry to me?
Please advice me.
Answer: Lovely for the last 21/2 years you have filled the petition for divorce under section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act,1955 & in her defense she has claimed maintenance pendentilite & expenses of proceedings under section 24 of the HMA, now you seek advice from a lawyer for all this. First tell me you filled this petition for divorce through an advocate, then why you want another advocate to advice you here & that too free of charges? Is your advocate representing you free of charges in the court too? Your wife has immovable property in the form of flat worth 1 crore. She has FD in her name for approx 25-30 lacs in bank. How can you prove this? Very Simple summon the records of the Bank/Financial institute where ever these FDs are existing in her name to prove her ownership of this amount. As far the revenue records of the flat where they exist in any form whether registered as residential apartment of some society or with the housing board or any other authority what so ever can be summoned by you to prove her sole ownership of this property which she can use for getting monthly maintenance in the form of rent even if she is doing so till now. As far her ITR records are concerned she can be asked to summit all her ITR records since the time she left your personal company by the court as she is the best person to produce such record as these are documents which are in her possession which legally she cannot refuse. The very fact that she had given a loan of Rs95 lacs to her father’s Pvt. Ltd company on 31st March 06 as shown in the Balance sheet of that company and get back this Rs. 95L in 31st March 07 balance sheet will be mentioned in all her income tax returns for that period,these records can also be summoned from the Income Tax authorities to show her having a cash balance of Rs95 lacs with her, if her Income tax records do not show this fact, then none disclosure of this amount can lead her as well her father’s company to lot of trouble with IT department. All these details should have been told to you by your idiot lawyer/advocate whom you paid fee. Any how do as told to you as nothing more can be told here just like this.
Question: Can I seek divorce on this ground? I'm 40 & my wife is 38. We rarely get in Physical relations since birth of our Daughter, now of 7years. Even when it is done-Actually it needed to be forced on her.She never takes any initiation even after 2-3 months abstinence.Even at these times also, there is refusal. I don't think it's Normal for "Otherwise Normal" relation. Both of us are from India & we both don't have any Extra marital Relations. Any Attempt to discuss about this issue was futile. I need only Technical information regarding whether Divorce can be filed for this reason? No advice regarding Keeping the Marriage Intact is needed (for the sake of child, There had been many couples who have divorced on one or the other Issue).
Answer: The Supreme Court of India has propounded in one of its land mark judgment the instances which may be considered as act of mental cruelty that can be made ground for obtaining divorce.
Read these:-
"No uniform standard can ever be laid down for guidance, yet we deem it appropriate to enumerate some instances of human behavior which may be relevant in dealing with the cases of 'mental cruelty'. The instances indicated in the succeeding paragraphs are only illustrative and not exhaustive.
(i) On consideration of complete matrimonial life of the parties, acute mental pain, agony and suffering as would not make possible for the parties to live with each other could come within the broad parameters of mental cruelty.
(ii) On comprehensive appraisal of the entire matrimonial life of the parties, it becomes abundantly clear that situation is such that the wronged party cannot reasonably be asked to put up with such conduct and continue to live with other party.
(iii) Mere coldness or lack of affection cannot amount to cruelty, frequent rudeness of language, petulance of manner, indifference and neglect may reach such a degree that it makes the married life for the other spouse absolutely intolerable.
(iv) Mental cruelty is a state of mind. The feeling of deep anguish,
disappointment, frustration in one spouse caused by the conduct of other for a long time may lead to mental cruelty.
(v) A sustained course of abusive and humiliating treatment calculated to torture, discommode or render miserable life of the spouse.
(vi) Sustained unjustifiable conduct and behavior of one spouse actually affecting physical and mental health of the other spouse. The treatment complained of and the resultant danger or apprehension must be very grave, substantial and weighty.
(vii) Sustained reprehensible conduct, studied neglect, indifference or total departure from the normal standard of conjugal kindness causing injury to mental health or deriving sadistic pleasure can also amount to mental cruelty.
(viii) The conduct must be much more than jealousy, selfishness, possessiveness, which causes unhappiness and dissatisfaction and emotional upset, may not be a ground for grant of divorce on the ground of mental cruelty.
(ix) Mere trivial irritations, quarrels, normal wear and tear of the married
life which happens in day to day life would not be adequate for grant of divorce on the ground of mental cruelty.
(x) The married life should be reviewed as a whole and a few isolated instances over a period of years will not amount to cruelty. The ill-conduct must be persistent for a fairly lengthy period, where the relationship has deteriorated to an extent that because of the acts and behavior of a spouse, the wronged party finds it extremely difficult to live with the other party any longer, may amount to mental cruelty.
(xi) If a husband submits himself for an operation of sterilization without
medical reasons and without the consent or knowledge of his wife and similarly if the wife undergoes vasectomy or abortion without medical reason or without the consent or knowledge of her husband, such an act of the spouse may lead to mental cruelty.
(xii) Unilateral decision of refusal to have intercourse for considerable period without there being any physical incapacity or valid reason may amount to mental cruelty.
(xiii) Unilateral decision of either husband or wife after marriage not to have child from the marriage may amount to cruelty.
(xiv) Where there has been a long period of continuous separation, it may fairly be concluded that the matrimonial bond is beyond repair. The marriage becomes a fiction though supported by a legal tie. By refusing to sever that tie, the law in such cases, does not serve the sanctity of marriage; on the contrary, it shows scant regard for the feelings and emotions of the parties. In such like situations, it may lead to mental cruelty.
When we take into consideration aforementioned factors along with an important circumstance that the parties are admittedly living separately for more than sixteen and half years (since 27.8.1990) the irresistible conclusion would be that matrimonial bond has been ruptured beyond repair because of the mental cruelty caused by the respondent."
You may be having smile on your face after reading the above mentioned instances specially number xii wherein "refusal to have intercourse for considerable period without there being any physical incapacity or valid reason may amount to mental cruelty" but mind you this ground has be proved with sufficient evidence.
In the given case where one of the spouse who actually refuse for the intercourse for considerable period can always refute this allegation in the court proceedings rather can always state on oath being fully supportive & actively participating in sexual intercourse on regular basis, taking due precaution to prevent unintended/unwanted pregnancy etc.
So in order to make a case for divorce on this ground one has to prepare proper evidence to prove the charge of mental cruelty that can help in obtaining decree of divorce on this ground.
Question: Hey evrybody.I'm doing a research paper on Family Law in Australia and it would be great if u could help.=) 1) Please describe the process of divorce in Malaysia.
2) Are there any requirements the couple must fulfill before they are eligible to file for a divorce?
3) In Australia, the only ground for divorce is the inevitable breakdown of a marriage. This must be proved by the couple through separation for more than 2years. How is this similar to the M'sian divorce process? If it is practiced here, will it make divorce easier to obtain?
4) There has been sources onlne which state that lawyers are not needed in the divorce process in Australia. In your opinion, will the professional help of a lawyer make any difference in the divorce process? Will it be easier or more difficult?
5) In the Australian divorce process, a counselling certificate must be attached to the divorce application for it to have a chance to be approved. Do you think this will make the divorce process easier? Is this criteria applicable in M'sia?
6) Online divorce is largely popular in Australia. Divorce Kits containing divorce application forms are available via online. Is this possible in Malaysia? In your opinion, What are the risks involved in online divorce? Will this shorten the divorce process and save the couple hassle?
7) Amicable arrangements must be made about child custody and property matters before a divorce is approved. Consent orders are commonly used to deal with these matters. How will a consent form settle matters faster? How can both parties benefit from this?
8) During a divorce hearing in Australia, the hearing can be conducted in the absence of either party with permission from the court or if the couple does not have children. However, if there are children under 18 years, both parties can choose not to attend the hearing if a joint application for divorce is made. Is this applicable to Malaysia's process?
9) Is divorce easy to obtain in M'sia? Comparing Australia's with M'sia's requirements for a divorce, which one is easier?
Answer: No but I have a friend who lives in Australia and I will give you her Yahoo addy and you can ask her. It is [email protected] and she should be able to help you or find out the answer for you. E-mail her and she will be glad to help you as she is married and should have a pretty good idea.
Question: Which of these, if either, is the correct interpretation of Matthew 5:32? Ok, so me and my wife were having a friendly debate over the proper meaning of Matthew 5:32. For those of you who don't have a Bible handy, or are too lazy to look it up for yourselves, the verse reads as follows (taken from the NET Bible):
"But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
The key word in our debate is the word the NET Bible here translates as "immorality". The Greek word is "porneo", or a derivitive of it, and, as best as I can tell, means any kind of immoral sexual activity. This would include adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, etc; It could also include fornication, but the context here has a married person in veiw, and so in this case obviously doesn't. But the word does, from my research, seem to indicate a physical act.
Interpreted in and of itself, by itself, this verse seems to say that the only lawful reason for divorce in God's eyes is a physical act of adultery.
The controversy between us arises when you look at the preceeding paragraph. In Matthew 5:27-30, the passages just before this verse, Jesus tells us that if we look at someone (obviously other than our spouse) with sexual desire towards them, then we have already commited adultery with them in our hearts. My wife seems to hold that this paragraph should be used to interpret Matt. 5:32, thus meaning that if a person has lust in their heart for someone other than their spouse, it is Biblical ground for divorce. I find this interpretation intriguing, but I also think it would have some nasty consequences.
First off, there is no statement of a time limit for how long a person has to desire another person for it to be adultery at heart. A second would surely do, and for that second, that person would have been commiting adultery in their heart. So, by extension, if a married man was walking down the street, innocently passed a pretty girl, and instinctually looked at her, and then took one second longer than he should have to turn his head back and drive away any wrong thoughts trying to come at his mind (which is without a doubt still sin), then this could, by the above interpretation of Matthew 5:32 combined with Matthew 5:27-30, be considered Biblical grounds for divorce.
If such a thing were true, it would have two very nasty, very unbiblical consequences.
1) It shatters the integrity of the institution of marriage, and nullifies the commitment that comes with it. I would guestimate that AT LEAST 90% of all married males (Christian included) have had at least one instance since they were married where their mind wandered into some place that it shouldn't have. I certainly wouldn't argue that this is right or justifiable, but I would argue that, under the above mentioned interpritation, it would mean that AT LEAST 90% of all wives had Biblical grounds for divorce. And in an age where couples "fall out of love" and get divorces instead of putting effort into their marriages, it would reduces the Biblical standard's so low that Christian's could seem to do the same thing and justify it Biblically. "I don't love you any more, and I know your mind has wandered at least once since we have been married, so I'm divorcing you." That is basically how the world does it. It shouldn't be how Christians do it.
2) In light of the first point, it would completely nullify Jesus' point in Matthew 5:31 and 32. The whole point of the passages between Matthew 5:21-32 seems to be to highlight how the people of that time were using "loopholes" in the law in order to act selfishly, and to avoid having to keep the commandment "love your neighbor as yourself", and to convict them of their lack of love. Jesus was rebuking those who wantonly divorced their spouses and remarried. But if the above explained interpretation were so, it would allow just that. Jesus' rebuke would be almost meaningless. Obviously, that is not so.
My conclusion: Matthew 5:27-30 cannot be used to interpret 5:32, even though the passages are adjacent. They are clearly distinct passages with distinct, independant points. And "porneo" must mean a physical act. My wife, however, dissagrees.
Let me make sure that all answerer's know that this is nothing more than a theological debate between me and my wife, she is not planning on divorcing me or anything like that. Furthermore, her take is that even in the case of unfaithfulness on the part of one spouse, God hates divorce and prefers reconcilliation, a point which I agree with her on.
So, what is your take on this issue? I am interested in what position others take on this, and how they justify their positions. I would also love to hear any positions different from either mine or my wife's.
Thanks for any answers beforehand, and God bless!
Lime Kitty: I half agree, and I am impressed that someone actually made the observation that these divorces are not recognized by God, hence why divorce and remarriage is considered adultery. But the part with "except for immorality" seems to indicate that it IS recognized if adultery is involved. Matthew 19:9 seems to make this even clearer, clearly indicating that divorcing a wife on account of adultery, and remarrying, is not itself adultery.
Answer: When God and Christ are the center focus, Matt.22:37-40; fornication is out, no male with a male or the thought thereof, no female with a female, or the thoughts thereof, no human with an animal or the thoughts thereof, no sex at all unless, husband and wife with no thought of straying, if God and Christ is the focus of the loyal one and there is a divorce, the loyal one stays single. To marry another, one does commit adultery, but none live in adultery, marriage is the two are one flesh.
Gal.5:19-23. Mentally clean eliminates the desire for any immorality, do all things in moderation.
Question: In your book of marriage? Cheating or Money? Which has a greater ground for divorce.
Someone I know let her husband loss all her saving.. 200,000 on 1 stock. Do you think it's forgivable?
They just got married in the begining of July, and she wants a divorce.
The reason I'm taking it seriously, it's because she's my younger sister, she doesn't have any support system except for me. She have no friends or other family.
Answer: There is a real trust issue here. I think that cheating is worse, but, money is the main reason that couples split. If these people really want to save the marriage, they should seek some counselling. If not, they should check into having the marriage annulled. They haven't been married that long and this may be an option.
I'm not saying to divorce, or split up, but, all options need to be considered. Unless they can work thru all of their issues, there will always be problems, and, a marriage without trust is just like a day without sunshine.
Question: Seriously speaking, what is the meaning of Marriage or Common law relationship in the West now for Men? When Marriage Certificate can be cancelled at anytime without any reason. No false divorce. And the man would have to split half of his property, salary for child support etc...(the divorce industry), with just a VAWA claim, the divorce court would have suck him dry.
So did similar thing happen in common law relationship.
He can be charged with rape/ DV any time his spouse feels bore. That's worse than living alone: he doesn't have to worry all the time about jail.
He can only have sex if his wife let him. And if he can't perform immediately, that would be ground for divorce.
He can't ask her to do any thing & She can demand him to do anything: that's the HIDDEN contract, if such condition is not meet, she can comfortably file for divorce.
He has to live by her way or the highway. But not vice versa.
Etc....
If you examine CAREFULLY today relationship pre-set up by the laws, whichever you turn, the man will loose.
There is NO BACK UP SYSTEM for him if the relationship fails: ALL he has, is to rely TOTALLY on the character of his spouse. If he starts the new relationship from scratch, he may run into the same trouble. And still has o pay for the previous relationship.
Wat feminists advice men? "ou have to know and look careful at the woman's character before you enter a relationship". But how can he do that? Few men are psychologist specialized in Women Behaviour, or psychic reader??
That is ALL of his BACK UP SYSTEM??
On the bargaining table, he must demonstrate a respectable income/ career/ height requirement/ health, sweet talking, pleasing, flower, etc....you name it.
While she only needs to represent herself. Notice that the BURDEN of child bearing/ rearing is only an open OPTION for women nowadays. No man would be in a position to demand it.
In the final analysis, marriage or common law contract for Men in the West is nothing BUT a slave contract, which the slave have to submit to his Master.
Neither did single man fare better.
Women have many OPTIONS/ CHOICE nowadays, but where is Men's OPTION?
If he strives for a degree/ solid career before marriage, he loose his youth and his emotional/ sexual well-being satisfaction.That is if he's strong enough to go without women.
If he didn't do it, he has no bargaining chip: He is undesirable, looser.
He can't pursue what he dream of because of constant financial burden / emotional stress in relationship.
While women can have her cake & eat it too.
How on Earth has this men's MISERY befallen upon us?
Your thought, pls.
@KIA: yeah right?? That's what my beloved feminist sistah told me. Oh, yeah, 500 000 years! Satisfy?
@Kailey:
1/ women have the legal sytem protected her as A BACK UP system if relationship fails, no matter who's fault. Men don't.
2/ Common law marriage is automately assigned in Canada, Sweden, etc...whether the man agree or not.
3/ What make you claim to understand Misandristic "Laws" better than me?
But thanks for your usual feministic warp logics.
@Mama Outlaw: I am not Arabic. But I was lucky enough to be born in a culture that vigourously teach how to be a man. Unlike Western culture who only created mostly Feministed Males.
My anxiety is based on reality and experience. Thanks for the concern.
Answer: you read everything that i ever had on my mind dude(you are a girl right) and the only resort is to never date or get married, also if you think that's bad look at this that is going on in india
Question: HAS OUR SOCIETY GONE TOTALLY SELFISH AND IGNORANT? I was totally confused about marriage for a long time.....? until a well-versed Christian "showed" me from the Bible what a true divorce is. I was read Matthew 19:9 where it says that the only ground for divorce is fornication, or in our terms "cheating." When I read it and thought about it, so many things started to make sense, however, a lot of questions started to come up. Like, why is it so hard for us as a society to follow what the Bible says about divorce, especially if the Bible was God's thoughts to humans? If adultery is the only way that a marriage can end, and even when that happens, it is up to the innocent one (the one who did not cheat or adultery) to decide if they will be divorced. All this that I have learned just makes me wonder why do we make marriage so hard with all the different excuses for cheating, our being so selfish, so concerned about our own happiness instead of the happiness of our mates and children? We can exclude God out of the picture if we choose and dismiss the Bible as old and outdated, but, if we lived by just that word alone, wouldn't we have more married people committed to making their marriages work, despite the problems that they may face? I also learned that when people get married, they should expect "tribulation in the flesh." Well, that would surely explain all the problems that marriages are facing these days. Adultery is wrong, very wrong, but, somehow I just wonder why do we make so many excuses for doing it and causing such great harm to our husbands or wives?
Any thoughts?
Answer: i think people make up excuses for cheating to justify their own bad behavior, so they don't have to be accountable. so that they don't have to look at their part in it. because if they really looked at it maybe they would try harder to save the marriage.no one wanting a divorce gives any thought what so ever to the injured party, all they care about is getting out of it as easily as they can, so they make up things, fault find, so they can justify in their own minds that they did no wrong.no one wanting a divorce really cares what they are doing to harm the other person in the marriage, and they will make up anything to rid themselves of any guilt feelings.
Question: Horrible Indian Marriage Law? In a verdict that may have far reaching impact over institution of Indian marriage, the Nagpur bench of Bombay high court has dismissed a husband's petition seeking divorce from wife living separately for last 19 years.
A single-judge bench of justice C L Pangarkar has rejected husband's plea stating that just staying away for 19 years was not enough for judicial separation and "petitioner must first make out ground for divorce".
The petitioner Prabhakar Nikam is a resident of Bhalgaon in Buldhana and married Satyabhama on May 24, 1983. The couple have a son by name Vivek. His case (like many other) was lost, due to the gender biased laws.
How the hell on this earth, a husband (in India) can get divorce? Stupid laws with sense-judges screw up India in an excellent way. Anyone (with senses) can think, if any possibility of resuming marriage after 19yrs of separation? This stupid judge is thinkin so.
Why the judge not applied 'Irretrievably Broken' clause? What is the solution ?
Answer: You are right. A day will come when boys will avoid marrying girls in India.
Question: Can I have My Late Brother's criminal record removed court /police data base ? Approx. 3 years ago , my older brother(Lee) committed suicide at the age of 44. Lee suffered from mental illness all of his adult life. He was HEAVILY medicated to Control his schizophrenia. Some years back when his 2nd wife was looking for an acceptable excuse to give her church as ground for divorce, she accused him of inappropriately touching her young daughters from a previous relationship. Out of love for the girls who were being coached by an aunt & uncle who never did approve of their sister marrying a white man. Lee plead guilty to a lesser charge to spare the girls having to lie in court. This was a sad situation considering that WI. is a NO fault state and Debbie His X, did not need a legal reason for divorce,just one that would assure she would not be dis-fellowshipped from the Jehovah Witnesses. It was after all this that he fell into a deep depression, attempted suicide and ended up in the nut ward @ Co. hospital. Well ,that's a little back round, problem is, My Dad and brother have the same first and last names. My dad who looks quite young for his 60+ years has been confused with Lee when his name was put into a computer. My dad is terrified that some day he may end up in a situation, with the internet , police checks etc. he may Unknowingly be confused with his son who is a convicted child molester never having the chance to set them straight. Is there ANY way of having a diciest family members name and record removed from court records ,police checks etc.?
Answer: This could become a real problem for your father. I know of a man here where I Iive who was kept in Jail for 30 hours because his name was the same as another mans name who had a warrant out for his arrest. It did not matter that he had a different Social Security Number than the man who was really wanted by the police. It did not matter that he was a different race than the man who was really wanted by the police. It did not matter that he was 6 feet tall with no distinguishing marks and the man that was really wanted by the police was 5' 6". All that mattered was that they had the same name. He was not allowed to call home so that his wife and children would not be worried when he did not show up at home after work. When the police from the next town(who were the ones that had the warrant for him) came to pick him up they were the ones who knew that this was not the man they wanted. He was then released. 30 Hours later.
I would advise you to consult an attorney and see what could be done.
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