Child Care

Question: Divorce questions ..please help.? My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We were together about 11 years before we got married. There is no question as to whether or not we are getting a divorce..he has already moved out. I just have a few questions about finances and such. Ok the property I have was is in my name..it was mine before we got married. I paid most of it off, and then about a year ago he paid the last 10,000 on it...and paid it off. He is on disability for his back and draws close to 2000 a month. Plus he has a great deal of money(about 100,000 in his 401k). And other things he has. He has not paid any bills since he has lived here with me(over 3 years) And just in the last year he has paid 350/month for my health insurance. And that is all he has paid..I pay for his cell phone..buy all his cigarettes...every thing. He is an alcoholic and a bad gambler. He will spend over 1800 in internet gambling a month. I buy all his beer. He is abusive...to the point where he has used guns to threaten my life. He goes out to bars and the races and sometimes doesnt come home all night..spends a great deal of his spare time with his exwife and 20 yr old son(and Im not invited) My first question is..I know that sometimes when you are married to a disabled person and get divorced, you have to pay them alimony ...but since he makes more/has more money than i do..is this still the case? My second question is..since he hasnt paid anything and i have basically paid for him (other than 350/month for health insurance for the last year) would I have to pay the 10 thousand back to him that he paid for my home, to pay the rest off? If anyone could help me than would be great. Also I dont know if it matters but we live in Kentucky. Thanks.

Answer: Since you have different laws in the United States, try to seek legal assistance from one of the lawyers in Kentucky. Take care and GOD BLESS.

Question: Why is my ex doing this, and CAN he do it? He won't pay alimony, and has been filing appeals I just found out about, and is telling lies to get out of sharing the marital assets. The case ended last November...(so I thought) He is 12 months behind in alimony payments. And won't share retirement, or any assets. He is crazy man. He is so angry. He can't really make me homeless, can he? 30 year marriage. I wish he would just do what you do when people get divorced...and move on. I REALLY want to move on.

Answer: I'm so sorry you have to got through this after 30 years! Sounds like he's keeping the case alive in the court system. And there is no limit to jerks being a jerk. You have to keep a record of the proofs to dispute the lies, and file to have him pay back payments. Maybe they can dock his salary. If he's gonna fight, then you have to fight. Stay tough. Sorry he won't move on.

Question: why did Bernie Ecclestone pay almost a Billion pounds in alimony? please help.? the whole point of alimony is that the wife can look after herself after the husband divorced her. but in this case bernie ecclestone, who worked extremely hard all his life to reach a forture of 2.4 billion pounds. and one day he a married slavica, an armani model (also a whore). they lived for 24 years together and then it was HER who said she wanted a divorce. and she got almost 1 billion pounds. bernie worked his bones to fingers to make his money but all she did was marry him and she gets 1 billion pounds, which i think is basically a posh way of prostitution. it is just not fair. i think the government is stupid and alimony should be a maximum of 1 million pounds.

Answer: By the look of it he was trying to do some tax dodge by putting the money in her name in off shore accounts, so it isn't alimony.

Question: You've got to read this one so I can stop getting negative reviews on my answers? On several answers regarding whether guys should walk away from their wives for her doing (insert whatever here), I have replied with "It's cheaper to keep her". And each time I do, everyone immediately feels the need to give me a thumb's-down review. But I want to explain it so that maybe it will make more sense and people will quit it with the "marriage is supposed to be the blessed union of two souls that are joined in love and can outlast blah, blah, blah.....". I am a victim of a cheating wife, and even after I agreed to try to work it out, she lied about everything, turned it back onto me as if it was somehow my fault she cheated, etc. And that went on for two years before she finally told me all that happened and actually said she was sorry. Two years!!! I have no love for this woman anymore, however I am not leaving this marriage. Why, you ask? Read on... I live in a state that as a guy in divorce court, I may as well be a cat in the dog pound. Her cheating means nothing, and if I leave because of her infidelity, she gets the house, the kids, and I have to pay alimony and child support, along with any other ridiculous expenses the law feels I am obligated to pay. SO..... 1) I will be paying likely about half the mortgage on a nice 4-bedroom home that she (and anybody else she feels like bringing in) gets to live in, while I worry if I have enough money left over to afford the rent on my one bedroom apartment. 2) I will also have to pay child support. This, in & of itself, is not an issue to me. What IS an issue to me is that there is no way, even with receipts, that the money I have to pay her will go to actually supporting the children. And then when the kids activities come up, I am obligated to pay for half of those (summer camp, sports, field trips, etc) on top of the insane amount of money I will already be required to pay. 3) So let me get this straight. I have to pay her to live in a house that I am paying for but not living in. I don't get to watch my kids grow up and be a part of their daily lives, while their mother gets to? So basically her life is not affected in almost any way and mine is turned upside down? And why? Because she cheated and unfortunately in my case I am the one who is punished, not her if I leave. So, if you see me off this advice to the next poor guy who has been cheated on or treated like crap, understand it a little. I'm not sure you all understand. I am not whining, nor am I unhappy. I have two wonderful kids who give me all that I need. But unlike "sheloves" believes and stated below, I have several friends who are paying for the house they no longer live in. It is all to real in this state. Trust me. And Jon, the ideal alternate would be for me to be able to keep the kids and the house and let HER go live in the street. She made this bed, so she should lie in it. Sadly, unless the mother is considered "unfit", she is awarded the kids 99 times out of 100. Dandls & Lexy. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets it! You both hit it right on the head!

Answer: BINGO!! I did the same thing! My wife screwed around on me a TON while i was working my *ss off for her or taking care of our child while she did all sorts of things. At first when she told me I just took it like it was a 1 night stand kind of thing but the more I wondered and worried I decided to spy on her(screw the women that say shame shame) she cheated and I deserved to know the Truth. Turns out she has been screwing around on me for YEARS and went back to it even after telling me! By the way notice how the women all say don't do that? That's because the old double standard applies here. The can screw around and still get the majority of what ever it is you worked for and they didn't. Long story short... I stayed to see my kid and keep not only my home but all the other things that I worked for. You see I not only am an employee I also work nights and weekends and early mornings for my own personal business which she contributes nothing to but would get half. So I get you and im doing the same thing. I think it was a financially smart move and now I just lookt at it like she has opened the door for me to screw around. It's the only way to fly.

Question: A stupid question worth asking? Any thoughts on child support? Let me sketch a typical scenario. A man has irreconciable differences with his wife so he divorces her. Nothing wrong with that. There are children involved. The wife gets custody (as happens in 85% of cases). The man is a hard working productive member of society. His wife is an under-achiever. Nevertheless she gets paid alimony to keep her in the same financial position to which had become accustomed to while married. In addition the court orders the former husband to provide child support iro all his children (reviewable as his career advances). This is supposed to pay for their upkeep and for things such as daycare, extra-cirricular activities, education etc. My question: how does the man guarantee and ensure that all the money going towards his childen's upkeep actually benefits the children and isn't splurged by his former wife mostly on herself (fancy car, beauty treatments, hair jobs every month etc.) She has complete control of the money received and never reveals her financial situation to her kids. Any good father would gladly give his money to his kids but with balk at the thought of giving any money at all to someone he doesn't love anymore and who, as in lots of such cases, doesn't care about his continued existence and even sometimes even totally despises him.

Answer: the income and expense report both parties are required to file with each child support review should give you a rough overview of this. yes, those are easy enough to "fudge", but if its too far fetched there are professionals that can examine it closer for intentional flaw. though, as you stated, there is alimony involved. Its reasonable she use that for her personal bills.

Question: Which situation is worst? Blacks are constantly criticized for having so many illegitimate children. I am 1000% against the idea of people having unwanted children that they can't afford. Still Whites marry in higher percentages, yet over half fail and create a high percentage of single parent homes also. In both cases the children are emotionally devastated. When Whites marry, they spend thousands on weddings and lie before God on vows that they know that they wont do, then they divorce. The men lose half of their stuff, pay alimony, most have been unfaithful during the marriage, beat and verbally abuse their wives and the children still end up messed up and in single parent homes. Most Black women eliminate alot to the negatives of having a husband or controlling man and going through the inevitable divorce process when they want children. Again the children are emotionally messed up. The number of White women having children out of wedlock has tripled over the past 30 years,so is this a trend for the future? But in the case of the child, which situation is worst? (I am not including dead-beat, welfare women in this analysis.)

Answer: Hi Interesting points.The whole framework for marriage unity and family have been turned upside down. I believe the 60s opened the door for promiscuity on a grand scale. Infidelity,abuse and such has been around since the beginning of time. It's seen more so because we have the internet and television. Women choosing to have children without a father involved is usually to avoid all the abuse and negativity. If birth control and welfare were removed, it would be very interesting to see if things changed or which direction society would go. Children learn from what they see.

Question: What are the 5 most important attributes your child care provider should have ? Given that it is such a difficult decision for parents/guardians to leave their children in the care of another- what are the five most important attributes or qualities that you look for in those that will be caring for your child?

Answer: flexibility love of children - someone who actually enjoys playing and being with my children kindness responsible/reliable experience

Question: How do I apply for child care assistance if I am a low-income parent? I have two children under the age of 18 months and I need to go back to work since I have been out of work to take care of my babies. Daycare costs a lot of money for babies and someone had told me once to apply for child care assistance and that it would help me dramatically. How would I go about applying? Where would I go? Do I have to pay up-front costs? How does this work? If anybody has any answers it would be greatly appreciated on my part. THANK YOU in advance.

Answer: Go to your local Health & Human Resources Department. They have programs that can help you with the cost of child care - in WV the program is called Title 20.

Question: How do you and your partner split child care? He works full time and Im on mat leave. I do most of the child care for our 4 1/2 month old (including ALL night time child care). I cook lunch but supers are pretty shared. He usually baths the baby once or twice a week. How do you and your family divide taking care of the children? Do you work or not?Not complaining just curious.

Answer: He works nights and me days- so that we can keep our baby out of daycare. He goes to work at night shortly after I get home. On the weekends, we have family cleaning day. We have an 11 year old son who also helps to clean. This helps a lot. We both cook...and if I cook he does dishes. If he cooks, he still does the dishes- lolol!!! On the weekends, I bathe her because I take a bath with her. During the week, I bathe her each night because he is at work. So, it's pretty much shared. I do the laundry and we both fold it on the weekends, since with our daughter, I fold- and she unfolds just as quickly! For our son, it's the same, equal partnership for the most part. I'm happy and he is too. For us, we need to take care of each other because we'll be wiped out if we don't.

Question: What do you do if a child care provider refuses to supply you with her social security number for tax purposes Our usual child care provider took a long vacation in the summer. The other lady who watched our daughter during that time refuses to give me her social security number. I need to claim it on my tax forms. She charged us $150 per week for 8 weeks and I would like to claim this on my tax return. What should I do? This other lady runs a day care out of her house and is state licensed.

Answer: If she is state licensed she probably has an EIN number and you use that insted of her social security number. If she won't give you an EIN number file your taxes with a note on the form that she refuses to give you her information. Give her name and address and they will contact her.

Question: What deductions can an in home child care provider use? I do child care out of my home and want to know what kind of deductions are there for this type of business.

Answer: Some general advice first: (1) Use a W-9 to provide your tax id number to parents. (2) Don't give out your SS# for privacy reasons and identity theft - get a tax id # (EIN) for your business. (3) Save all grocery receipts unless you use the standard meal allowance rates. (4) Track all meals served to day care kids, even those not reimbursed by a food program. (5) Track hours you (& your spouse) work when kids are not present. (6) Always depreciate your home if you own it; depreciation will benefit you and it will be treated as a depreciated asset when you sell the home whether you took the depreciation or not. (7) Avoid a big tax bill and possibly penalties on Apr 15 by making quarterly estimated tax payments using Form 1040ES. (8) Do an inventory of your home furnishings when you start the business. Home day care providers generally find it easier than other taxpayers with home offices to deduct a portion of the dwelling as business space, even if areas are not set aside exclusively for day care. For example, a room could be used as a living room at night and a playroom by day. If the day care is operated on a regular basis, this room could be considered a business/personal environment. You must calculate the portion of your home expenses deductible as business expenses via a "time/space percentage." Time (as a percentage of the year) spent in your business multiplied by the area (square footage) of the house used for the day care operation helps determine the amount of home-related expenses that are deductible from gross income. The most obvious time is that spent caring for the children. But also the same area/space used to house your children's toys or wash your family's clothes can be deducted if also used in your day care business (i.e., you store day care toys in the same storeroom as your children's toys and you wash items such as kitchen towels, rugs and naptime bedding in your washer.) What are some of the household expenses one may deduct for a day care business? Taxes and mortgage interest are normally fully deductible if you itemize your deductions. But by shifting some of these personal expenses from Schedule A deductions to your day care business (on Schedule C), you may be able to reduce your self-employment tax. Self-employment tax, computed on Schedule SE, is a Social Security and Medicare tax for sole proprietors such as day care providers. This results in taxes above and beyond the federal and state income tax you pay on your earnings. Other expenses you can deduct include utilities, condo fees, insurance premiums and business telephone lines (but not the primary home line which will be considered personal). Granted this can be a bit complex if you've not done it before. Nothing wrong with hiring a professional to work it up for you the first year...but after that, it should be relately straightforward to plug in the current year's figures using the prior year's return as a model. $375 an hr (quoted by another poster) sounds very steep. You should be able to find a qualified, experienced tax advisor for significantly less $. Hope this helps!

Question: How can I deduct child care expenses if I paid them cash? I paid them cash to take care of my son. They don't have a license and don't want to give me their SSN#. Is there anyway that I can deduct child care expenses and how? Thank you

Answer: While it is best if you have receipts or canceled checks to prove your expenses, it is not necessary and the method of payment is irrelevant. If you have paid the same amount to the same person for the entire year it is pretty easy to calculate your total costs, but going forward, you should keep a spreadsheet or just a little notebook where you write the day you paid, the amount and the person you paid it to, each time you pay them, just in case you are every audited. For this year, all you need is the name address, and social security or tax ID number of the person that you paid the fees to and some written calculation of the fees paid so you know how much to claim (a tax preparer will want to see something written for you to take the credit, if you are doing them yourself through the www.IRS.gov Free File program it may be easier). You should be aware that the IRS tracks the credits taken for child care and compare them to the returns of the person that the money was paid to. However, that person may not be required to file a return to claim that income if all of the following are true: *your child care money is that persons ONLY income *the amount that you paid does not exceed the standard deduction and the personal exemption amounts combined ($5,350 + 3,400 respectively) *the person you paid files single and claims themselves or *the combined income of persons they file jointly with meets the income limits above. I hope this helps, but post a follow-up if you have more questions.

Question: How does one start an in-home child care business? I am considering starting an in-home child care business. I need to bring in around $300-400 a week and was wondering if in-home can be lucrative, as well as rewarding. I would love to hear how much people charge, how many kids they have alone, with no assistance, and what are the ups and downs of this?

Answer: The best routes to take are to research the process of starting a business as well as the industry you're interested in. I recommend checking out the SBA, Entrepreneur, The Start Up Journal & Nolo. All 4 are great informational resources for the new/small business owner. I posted links for you in the source box. Associations may be a good avenue to explore. These organizations will address many of the thoughts, questions and concerns you'll inevitably have as well as many you haven't anticipated yet. See the source box for some relevant links. Research, research, research – this cannot be stressed enough. Read as much as you can about the industry. Here are some book titles that are relevant: * Start & Run a Home Daycare by Catherine M. Pruissen * Starting a Child Care Center: The Indispensable Guidebook for Starting a Day Care or Child Care Business by Millicent Gray Lownes-Jackson, * Opening & Operating A Successful Child Care Center by Dorothy June Sciarra * The Business of Child Care: Management and Financial Strategies by Gail H Jack There are plenty of free informational resources out there. Check the source box for links to articles. Hope that helps! I wish you much success & happiness in all your ventures!

Question: Does anyone know of a good babysitter or child care center in the Oklahoma City area? My son has just turned 2 months and I am planning on returning to work. I would like to find a babysitter or child care center that is really good with children of all ages. I also want someone who is going the help me teach him the things he needs to learn and grow. If anyone has any suggestions or can refer me to someone, Please let me know. I want to know my child is safe and well taken care of while I'm away at work.

Answer: you can go to www.okdhs.org and search for child care facilities, it has a lot of different options such as day, day-night, half-day and age preferences. It will show the rating of the facility and if it has had any complaints. It also lists at home and facility day cares. This is the direct link but if it doesn't work it's on the main page of OKDHS.org http://204.87.68.21/childcarefind/

Question: How much cost a child care in Houston? Hello, I'm living in Canada and we are planning to move to Houston. Do you know how much cost a child care service there?

Answer: If you take your child to a daycare, an infant is going to run you about $200/ week. the price goes down as the child gets older. Sometimes when you have multiple children they give you a discount. Two really good day care chains here are Kids-R-Kids or Primrose, they have cameras in all the class rooms and you can log on to the internet and watch whats going on with your child, you get daily reports home as well.

Question: What are some deal breakers when initially choosing a child care provider? Please don't think I have no clue what A deal breaker would be when choosing a child care provider for my child, and so please don't be rude....I have some of my own requirements but I'm looking for more ideas to make sure I'm not missing anything important. Anything helps. Thanks a bunch!

Answer: Choosing a child care provider for your child is very hard. You need someone who is willing to meet your needs. Someone who is very polite. The provider has a very nice place for the child to come. What I am trying to say is the environment should be clean.

Question: How many should I claim on my W4 being a single mom? What about child care credit? I am single mom to a 2 yr old. My ex has no contact with our daughter, but he does pay support. I work full-time and go to college full-time and pay childcare costs. Should I claim 2 or just 1. Also, does anyone know what I would get back since I do pay all child care costs. Would support factor into any of this? Thanks!

Answer: Go through the worksheets attached to the W-4. You can claim 2 for yourself and your daughter, then can also claim one or two more, depending on your income, for the child tax credit, so can probably claim up to 4 if you want to without owing at tax time. Depending on your income, you might also be eligible for an Earned Income Credit which would come in your refund. Child support is not deductible to the payer or taxable to the person receiving it, so has nothing to do with your taxes and is not reported on your return. If you'll post again listing your total expected income for the year, what you've had withheld so far, and the amount of child care costs you expect to pay for the year, someone can give you a closer answer on what you might get back as a refund. Just to give an example, if your income for the year will be around $20,000, you'd be likely to get back whatever was withheld, plus an Earned Income Credit of a little less than $2000. Sounds like you are a very busy person. Good luck all around....

Question: Can you claim for child care credit on your tax return if you hire someone and paid them cash? My wife and I both have full-time job, we are hiring someone taking care of our 10 months old son for the last 7 months and paid the babysit cash, we have no receipt from her. Can I claim child care credit on my tax retrurn if I don't have any receipt from the babysit? If the babysit does not want to claim this money as her income, and does not want to provide SSN and receipt to me. Can I still file for child-care credit on my return?

Answer: Yes you can, but make sure you talk to the babysitter before you do this. When you include her social security number on the return it will be shown as income to her. She will then have to report all of this money on her return and might end up owing some money depending on how much she made.

Question: Is there anything extra you wish your overnight child care provider would include in their service? I'm looking to start an overnight child care in my home, and I wanted to know if there was anything other care providers were missing that would benefit the hard-working night shift. Thanks for your feedback.

Answer: A bedtime story if the child is still awake when they arrive, someone to come in and reassure them if they cry in the night, a warm breakfast if they are up before the parent comes to pick them up, to have them dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed if the parent has to take them straight to school from the overnight care.... whatever the parent needs for the child, because it's almost impossible to be a graveyard worker and still do everything in the mornings when the child is school age.

Question: How sick does a child have to be to not be taken to child care? Would really appreciate answers from child care workers, and other mums and dads, thanks.

Answer: at our daycare, if your child has a fever over 100, it is encouraged that they stay home. I pretty much think of it as, if i had these symptoms would I want to stay home and get better?