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Facilitators

Individuals that are not licensed as adoption agencies or licensed as attorneys, and who are engaged in the matching of birth parents with adoptive parents are referred to generally as Adoption Facilitators. The use of unpaid Adoption Facilitators has been permissible in almost every state in the United States from the very early days of adoption. When a doctor, minister, nurse, rabbi, family member or friend gets involved in the adoption match, without compensation for the services performed, the law has not been violated by the performing of those facilitation services. It is when Adoption Facilitators want to be paid for their matching services that the problems occur.

Question: How do I find out which adoption facilitators/agencies/attorneys are recommended by Birthparents? We need help finding the right adoption guidance. We are trying to research avenues to domestic open adoption. While we are able to readily find all of the facilitators and law centers with large advertising budgets we want to ensure that our potential birthparents are treated with respect and all promises made by the agency/facilitator/attorney to the potential birthparents are honored.

Answer: You're looking for a place to adopt where there is no advertising is used (to supply you with a child) and relinquishing parents are "honored". I'd laugh if it weren't so tragic and naive. Adoption in N. America is a business. Big business. It's no different than selling laundry soap or cars. People selling a product use any means necessary to get you to buy it and make you believe it's needed. The only "problem" is that healthy infants (the kind you're looking for, no doubt) are as rare as waterfront real estate--and you'll pay a hefty premium, too. If agencies and attorneys were concerned with "treat[ing] birthparents with respect", they'd help these people figure out a way to help them keep their own children instead of procuring them for your *needs*, and your $30K, of course. The only children who actually need parents are those who have already lost them--kids in foster care. You would not be "helping" an infant by coaxing it away from it's mother. There isn't a child on the planet who wouldn't rather be with his MOTHER as opposed to a replacement. Period. Do a little reading: http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org http://www.amfor.net/ http://www.origins-usa.org http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm http://www.babyscoopera.com http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html Adoption studies: http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionfore… http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/to… Books: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

 


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