Non-Identifying Information

Question: Non-identifying information? I *FINALLY* received my son's non-identifying information today! I think I first enquired about it over the summer, so this is a wonderful way to start the new year! I teared up a bit as I read it because neither his half-siblings or his first parents have requested information about him or a reunion, but honestly I'm not sure either of us (me or my son) is ready for a reunion just yet. The circumstances leading up to his adoption were difficult to say the least (he was adopted from foster care, where he was placed at birth) so I think he might need to be a bit older and have more knowledge about his history before that occurs. Pictures and letters would have been nice though. Anyway, I am SO excited to finally know my son's ethnicity! We were told he was Hispanic and Caucasian when he was placed with us, but nothing more specific than that. Apparently his first mother is Mexican and African-American! I'm so happy to be able to share that information with him. Rather than, "You're part Hispanic on your mother's side," now I can definitely tell him he's part Mexican and we can celebrate that culture! I don't know which African nation my son's first mother's ancestors came from, but "African-American" is a good start. I am *SO* excited to find this out! I've always been proud to be Dutch, Czech, and Austro-Hungarian, and now my son will know what countries HIS blood relatives came from! (Well, one of them, anyway. Mexico.) Now for a question so this doesn't get deleted: how many of you have received non-ID information and had a happy surprise inside? Care to share what it was? I'm literally so happy I want to shout in the streets! Mahalo and hau'oli makahiki hou! (Thanks and Happy New Year in Hawaiian)

Answer: Congrats. Now that you know your son has African ancestry you might consider giving him a DNA test. This should be able to find what country or region his African roots are from and in some cases they can even track down the African tribe one is descent from. I wish I could do it but at this time a female can only trace her maternal line, whereas a male can trace both maternal and paternal lines. My African side comes from my biofather. http://www.africanancestry.com/

Question: can anyone else besides an adoptee get a copy of non identifying information? my mom was adopted as a infant.she has never had great interest in seeking the birth family but did manage to get a hold of the non identifying information years ago.since then it has disappeared.i could have sworn that it said one of the family members died of a specific disease but my mother disagrees (she says it was something else that the family memeber died of but she has a crappy memory and i dont) anyways, since the paperwork has disappeared (i think that someone accidently shredded them when they were cleaning out the box) will i be able to get a hold and have this paper released to me? or will my mother have to get the documents. also, where do i/we go to retain these papers? also when she went to check to see if the bio mom added contact information the bio mom didnt leave any (so she didnt leave any) but i am having a urge to check again to see if she left anything within the years..even though my grandma/grandpa will always be my grandma/grandpa, i am curious to see of any cousins/aunts/uncles etc. if any.

Answer: whilst your mom is alive she is the only one yes after that the executor of her will and so on in most of the western world there is a central births and deaths registry that is where you can find out or at the hospital where she was born there is a veto section for non disclosure this only lasts for 5 years in most cases then must be up dated when due or it dose not apply but unfortunately pre 1970s is harder and more private the mothers did not need to leave there details & in many cases did not in some countries the local war efforts destroyed the only copies in fires bombings as they were only in the one building

Question: As an adoptee I'm requesting Non identifying information? from the county I was born in. I'm wondering what other info I can ask for such as my birth mothers first name? Any success stories would be appreciated. Doc did you get into the med cart again?? Well when the county called me just a bit ago I told them the primary concern was medical. I may or may not have been given another name, more than likely not since my adopted parents are on the birth certificate and all I can ask is her 1 st name. ( Hence non - identifiable ) Then we'll see where I can take it from there.

Answer: Ask how you are supposed to get any money out of the deal if they don't tell you the specifics. Jil is right, that's why I didn't give you a real answer. I know nothing about that stuff but thought I'd grace you with my presence.

Question: where to go to get none identifying information? my mother was adopted and has gotten the non identifying information from her adoption several years ago.However, the paperwork was lost due to some issues. I've asked her to go back and request the paper work again because I have a right to know but she conveniently "forgot" how she went about the process.I need to "remind" her so we can get this rolling.I believe there is important information about maternal health and I want to take precautions now to help prevent anything (I've read that maternal Grandmother died of breast cancer yet mom claims she didn't...mom has a shitty memory and doesn't remember anything in the paperwork) I've asked her in the past to at least attempt to find out if she is searching for her.she said when she went to get the information, BM didn't leave any contact information as of then and she didn't want to bother with it.Although I can understand that she just doesn't care about the BM she is forgetting that BM IS my Grandmother and I have a right to know information about my biological roots, that she needs to stop playing puppetmaster and being selfish. I've longed accepted that I might not be able to meet my BM, any aunts or uncles or cousins but I do want that information. Where do you go to get it? She forgot what adoption agency her adoption went through. "You need to remember something...your mother is the adoptee not you. Her "forgetting" to do something might be a sign that she simply isn't ready or has no interest in finding out about her past.And remember, it is HER past, not yours" And you need to remember that I am entitled to know about my biological family.She is not the only one affected by this.I don't care how she feels about it.Why should I when she doesn't care about my feelings about it? It's MY BIOLOGICAL ties.I am entitled to know just as much as she is.I never stated anything about finding her BM, you need to READ.It's about getting the non identifying information, my biological information. "You need to let HER decide when/if she's ready to delve into the past. It's called being mature enough to put your own feelings aside and have compassion for someone else" SHE was the one who decided to get the information in the first place.Her dumb *** lost it.And you know what? don't make me look out to be the selfish one here, sweetie...It's not about her.She doesn't give a crap about health or heritage.I do. "Try sitting down with your mom and asking her how she's feeling. Maybe she has unresolved feelings about being adopted. Did she try to find her first family and became discouraged and depressed? How is SHE feeling about all of this? Can you help her in any way? Trust me...kindness and understanding go a long way. Once you've had a mature conversation with her maybe she'll be more open to helping you" You need to stop implying that I am being immature about this.I'm not.I've already talked to her about this.She doesn't care about her Bm or Bfamily. That's NOT what this is about.I want the information. And question for you: what are you realistically going to do if there is a marker for breast cancer or heart disease or something else? The same thing you should be doing anyway...take care of yourself, exercise and eat a healthy well balanced diet. That's besides the point. Like I already said before, I am not going to respect anyones wishes who don't respect mine.As far as BM goes, it stands for Birth mom, not bowel movement and it's obvious since we are on the adoption section.There can be more than one word that something is abreviated for. And I am going to say this for the thousandth time.I.AM.NOT.WANTING.TO.SEARCH.FOR.THE.… so y'all can quite with the "respect your mothers wishes/she is the one who is adopted not you" crap.The none identifying information IS my buisness. That was just a little clarification.All I wanted to know was where to get the none identifying information.Not how to find the BF.

Answer: Holy sense of entitlement. If you were my child I would give you a slap and tell you to shut up. And you do not even post what country you are from making it impossible to even answer this question. Maybe when you grow up a bit you might have more compassion for your mother and not be me, me, me, but i guess that is the way little kids are.

Question: Adoption information? all adoptees read please? already posted this in the adoption part and got no response: hi im turning 18 soon and i would like to apply to get my non identifying information. do i ask the hospital i was born at? the attorney who did my adoption? the court? please help me if youve been through this before. to clarify since there seems to be some confusion... I AM ADOPTED. im not getting an abortion and obviously i was not aborted so chill christy.

Answer: Your first stop will be here: http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_reco… Get the form, fill it out and make sure you tick ALL 4 boxes on the top of the form The hospital, attorney and the court will only tell you No. Please don't get disheartened by the people who say you have no rights to information about your own birth. You have the right to know the truth of your origins. If you'd like to join the fight for Adoptee Rights and to change the antiquaited sealed records laws, join Unsealed Initiative http://www.unsealedinitiative.org/

Question: getting adoption information in syracuse.? hi im turning 18 soon and i would like to apply to get my non identifying information. do i ask the hospital i was born at? the attorney who did my adoption? the court? please help me if youve been through this before.

Answer: Your first stop will be here: http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_reco… Get the form, fill it out and make sure you tick ALL 4 boxes on the top of the form The hospital, attorney and the court will only tell you No. Please don't get disheartened by the people who say you have no rights to information about your own birth. You have the right to know the truth of your origins. If you'd like to join the fight for Adoptee Rights and to change the antiquaited sealed records laws, join Unsealed Initiative http://www.unsealedinitiative.org/

Question: how would i convert to judaism? here is my situation. my mother was adopted and the government will only allow her to obtain non identifying information regarding how she can prove who she is. my mother tracked down her linage and all her mothers where jewish according to halacha. now can a rabbi accept the non identifying information as proof of judaism or would he require much more serious documentation? or do i need to go through the whole prosses. @ hatikvah yes this question is real.

Answer: "IF" you have documentation, take it to the beit din and they will tell you if they qualify. If not, then you go through conversion, if you make it through, you will be Jewish.

Question: I was adopted at birth 39 years ago thru Catholic Charities in Indiana, how can I find my biological parents? I was born on February 7, 1967 at St. Mary's Hospital in Sullivan IN and adopted through Catholic Charities out of Evansville, IN. Anyone have any idea how to find identifying information? Catholic Charities has provided non-identifying info, but the records are sealed and can only be opened by the Pope. I searched the local Sullivan newspapers and posted an ad, but found no additional information. Catholic Charities does have a letter on file from me stating that I would be open to any contact.

Answer: You should be able to at least get copies of children born on your birth date from: Sullivan County Health Department (For Birth & Death Certificates from ca. 1882) 102 North Section Street - Sullivan, IN 47882-1235 Phone: (812) 268-0224. This should give you a short list to work from.

Question: complaints from parents re talent agents for children ripping them off? Does anyone have any complaints regarding talent agents in queensland not paying children or actors what they are owed. Non identifying information required for an indepth inquiry into the industry and research for a story

Answer: The National Consumer Complaint Center THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU

Question: Adoptees: how much have you spent? On non-identifying information, search help, P.I. assistance, travel, intermediaries, documents etc. for your search for your natural family? Does it ever upset you that non-adoptees do not have these expenses OR the hassle?

Answer: In Pennsylvania, an adoptee needs to pay $12 to the State to see if both their original parents have filed a consent form for them to receive their birth certificate. If no consent form is on file, the request from the adoptee is NOT kept. Therefore, any adoptee born in PA who wants to know if they can get their birth certificate is required to pay $12.00 each time they inquire, on the off chance their parents may send the permission form in at a later date. I believe I've requested about 10 times over two decades. The fee used to be $10, so I'll average the total cost of this to be $110 To petition the court in my county costs $65.00. I needed to petition three separate times, so that total is $195. The final time I consulted with a lawyer at a fee of $325 The cost of a confidential intermediary in my county is $565. I did not go this route as I did not want a stranger contacting my mother. I joined ALMA at the beginning of my search, and believe I paid $35 to join their registry. I also got suckered by a company that at one time published a "guaranteed" how-to book for adoptees at a cost of $200, as well as giving $500 to a scammy private investigator who did nothing. I made several trips back to where I was born to try and look at archived genealogical documents to try and find clues. I'll estimate the total of these trips, with travel, meals and hotels at approx $1,000 After over two decades and no results, I finally had to go with a reputable ethical no-find / no-fee adoption search service at a cost of $3,500 This total comes to $5,865 to find out what my original name was If adoptees were allowed access to their original birth certificates the same as the nonadopted, my total cost would have been $12 Yes, I am very outraged that we have this hassle and expense. Anyone concerned about equality should be outraged as well, especially if they care about adoptees. Hopefully they'll take this outrage and turn it into activism, and support for adoptee rights. To learn more, they can visit http://www.AdopteeRights.net

Question: I was adopted in Spokane, Washington. I am 39 yrs old. Are you my mother, or one of my 4 older siblings? I have my non-identifying information which states that I have 4 older sibs, the next youngest being 13 years my senior. Mom was at least 40 when she had me. Her name was Arlene? I have my non-identifying information which states that I have 4 older sibs, the next one being 13 years my senior (older than me). Mom was at least 40 when she had me. Her name was Arlene?

Answer: i know alot of people named arlene but you have to give more information

Question: Shouldn't a 53 year old woman have the right to know who she is related to? My mom was adopted when she was 6 weeks old, and has had no information about her biological parents until now. Both of her adoptive parents have been dead for over 15 years, and they didn't have any information on her bio parents either. Well, my mom finally got the agency to give her the non-identifying information on her file and we got it this week. That's great and all, but what can we do to learn more? Does she have any rights to more information? What can we do to actually learn who we are related to? It's not like we want to meet the people, we just want to know who they are. I mean, I'm not even adopted, and I still feel this huge void because I don't know where half of me came from. I can't imagine how my mom feels... She was born and adopted in Illinois. Any information you may have will be greatly appreciated, thank you. = ) Ehh, actually yes, my mom was adopted through Catholic Charities...that's bad right? So if my mom's birth mom sent a letter to be on file, they would have thrown it away? That's cruel, and I think it should be illegal if it isn't already.

Answer: Morally yes she does have the right to know who she is related to. Her natural parents have a right to decide whether they have contact or not but most do want to know if their child is alive and well. Go on ancestry.com and as much as I dislike adoption.com there are good members there who are willing to help under the search and reunion section.

Question: "First Family" book for my son? My friend Allie who was adopted at birth gave me an idea a short while back and I've just started to act upon it. Allie said that when she was a teenager, she had a lot of questions about her first family but didn't necessarily want to discuss it with her APs. Her a-mom had made a little book for her with all the information she had about my Allie's first family and Allie was able to take it out and read it any time she wanted...in private. She didn't have to ask anyone anything -- the information was just THERE for her whenever she wanted to look at it. I told my son about this and he loved the idea! I let him choose a little book and I have started to write some information in it (there isn't much, but I will put in everything I know, along with a copy of his non-identifying information paperwork). I told my son that he can have the book to put wherever he wants and he can read it anytime he likes, without having to talk to me if he doesn't want to. In all his 9 year old wisdom he said, "But mom, really. When have I ever NOT wanted to talk to you about adoption?" Cute, but I realize that will change as he gets older. ;) Do you have any thoughts about other things I can put into the book? Did you have something like this when you were growing up? If you didn't, do you wish you had, and what do you wish had been included? I guess this question is really for adults who were adopted and first parents, but anyone with some knowledge in this area is welcome to answer. Thanks so much!

Answer: I think this is a great idea. My aparents kept the little bit of non-ID information I had in my baby book...and I could look at it whenever, where ever. However, do not confuse your willingness to speak about adoption issues with being able to provide real answers. They are so different! My aparents would talk about my adoption, but the answers were always "I don't know." or "The records are sealed." Links to laws, web sites, adoption registries might be handy as he grows up and wants more info.

Question: Do birth parents think about the children they Give Up.? Today is my 41st birthday. Every year on my birthday I have a hard time. Most of the year, I have long since resolved not to let this hurt me, because I have a wonderful life. But the fact is it is very difficult to be my age and not know what ethnicity you are or where your family came from. I get sick of scralling ADOPTED across the family history section of medical papers. And going through unnecessary medical tests because they have to assume that I am at risk for everything. When my children ask what ethnicity we are I get tired of saying I just don't know. On my birthday it all seems to come to the forward of my mind, I can't help but wish I at least knew where I came from. I was born in New York which is basicly a burn the records state. New York not only seals records but changes birth dates and basic info to insure you can never contact your biological parents. I got my non-identifying information but of the little information(no medical history what so ever) that was in the record at least one thing was a blatant lie. It said I was my biological parents oldest child. But I was raised with my biological brother who is 2 years older than me. (I was offered for my parents under family preservation to adopt, because they had already adopted my brother) So I doubt all the information in the paperwork. Do Birth parents think about the kids they give up. Do they ever wonder. For every 300 adoptees looking to connect with their Birth Parents it seems like there is only one birth parent who wants to connect. It is kind of sad. Because most of us are not looking for a "family" but just some answers. To understand about our ancestory and medical history better. If you are foolish enough to say just forget about it and move on you will never understand. One day take a look at all the adoption search web sites. Look at the 1000s and 1000s of sites and millions of adoptees that are listed there. NOONE has a right to privacy if it deprives another person of their right to information they have a right to. What if someone said you had no right to your birth certificate and you could no longer talk to your brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and grandparents. YOU JUST HAD TO GO AWAY AND GET OVER IT. Would you? Would you give up the people you love because your parents did not want you around anymore. Maybe they do not like the way you look and they do not want you to shame them. Do they have right to kick you out of the family? I have the same rights you do. Family is a lot more than just the people that gave birth to me. And the fact is noone has a right to steal another persons family to hide there shame. And lets make one thing clear, I do not miss the people who abandoned me. I do not want them back. I want only my history and any family members other than those who abandoned me, who may want to connect. I do not need anyone who does not want me in their life.

Answer: Pray one day this county and others like it realize you can not take away the rights of one person to hide the shame of another. It was the parents mistake but sadly it is the children who are always forced to pay for the immoral actions of adults. Adopted Children all too often go through their life carrying the shame of being a Bastard Charity case where they are told they are LUCKY to be adopted, because "we did not have to give you a home". While the people who actually did wrong get to hide their shame. I get so discusted when people constantly point out "this is my ADOPTED child" like these kids are some kind of status symbol to show how caritable they are. So the child is constantly reminded they are not really part of the family, and scociety not only accepts it but applauds it as the newest cool thing to do as stars adopt from every corner of the world just to show off their KID COLLECTION. How would everyone else feel if they were told they could not get a copy of their birth Certificate for any reason. That it belonged to their parents and every time the Government requested a copy of their birth Certificate they would need to go and beg their parents to go get it. Who does your birth certificate belong to YOU or YOUR MOM. Why is that not true of adoptees. Why do we have to pay to hide THEIR SHAME. Why do our rights have to be infringed.

Question: Can anyone please tell me what I should do to find my biological parents? I was adopted at birth and then again at 7yrs old. My adoption was a closed one. When I called the county clerk in the county I was born she said even I was unable to see any identifying information on my birth parents. How is that even legal. They are my records! So I filled out a form to the Health registry and got a lot of non-identifying information. More than I thought I would get. I am gratefull for that but it's not enough. I need to know where I got my looks, my voice, my hair things of that nature. I want to know what my name would have been and if my family wants to have a relationship or not. I will never be able to fill this void in my heart untill I find them. If you were never adopted you wouldn't know the feeling. It's not something you can forget. Please does anyone out there have any advice. I've used the info I got and searched google, myspace, facebook, everywhere. Please help. I know what my first family named me and I know their number but when I asked for information they stated they didn't know. And this family that I have now.... well lets just say we do not and will never get along the mother lied about everything from the start when she didn't have any info at all. So please let me know if you can help. I can't be the only one going through this.

Answer: you can try to putting a news article or ad on the web or the national paper, its worth a shot, That's all I know, hope it helps. Good luck!

Question: Wondering if bio mom or dad can be found - please read? We just received non-identifying information, for medical purposes, about my husbands birth mother and father from the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry. My goal is to find his mother or father and find out two things. 1. Why she gave him up and 2. Why he denied his paternal rights. Here's a little background info if anyone reading this is from Houston County Georgia and knows anything. FYI - The only acceptable form of communication will be via e-mail. We have no desire to see or hear from them. Born - 2/7/1975 6 lbs 6 1/2 oz small reddish "H" birthmark on the right side of the head 20" long blue eyes lt brown hair male Mother was 5'6, 160 lbs, 21 yrs old, Baptist, drk brown hair, blue eyes. She was born with nerve deafness, couldn't speak very well, read lips some, and communicated by writing. She completed h.s. and lived a fairly normal lifestyle. She had spinal meningitis in 1961 and was hospitalized for 2 wks. Father was 20, drk brown hair, 6'2, 190 lbs, junior in college, of Finnish descent, Protestant & denied paternity. One great-grandfather died of a heart attack at 53, great-grandmother died of kidney poisoning at 52. Bio mother stated that she didn't feel she could provide an adequate home at this time. However, paperwork states family was of middle class and of average means and intelligence. So, if anyone knows any factual information as to why bio father denied parentage and why bio-mother gave him up info would be greatly appreciated. [email protected] Serious responses only, please! Thanks. By "factual information" I was referring to ways in which we could find out. Not if anyone in particular knew. We already have the medical records of the family. 3 generations worth. Their was the bio mom born with nerve deafness deemed unhereditary, as well as a great grandmother with stomach caner, another with kidney poisoning, and a great grandfather that died of a heart attack. The father WAS named on the birth certificate but denied he was the father in front of a judge. Husband hasn't mentioned anything about them other than, "Why would he deny it?" - talking about the bio father. He knows he was in a bigger, better family setting and wouldn't change a thing about how he grew up. Technically I'm the one that would like the answers to these questions. I guess if he doesn't care, why should I? Maybe I'll leave well enough alone and be satisfied that we have medical history and info on what he was like as a baby.

Answer: I was born in 1969 Australia. '75 isn't too far off. My family were also middle class - and both parents were 24 & 25. Those times - and in my family - you just weren't allowed to be unwed and with child. I've since found them both - they married 6 months after my birth. My father had told me - there was just no way that the family would let us keep you - she was sent away - and told not to come back 'with that baby'. My birth certificate also says - 'father unknown'. But he was known - his details are on all my other documents that I received much later. In those times - it was the thing to do to put 'father unknown' on the OBC - as they weren't married. The documents you have were written by adoption agency peoples - who serve their own interests. Take them all with a grain of salt. You will never know the truth until you talk to the source. For search help - here are some links that may help - First - add your details to the registries here - http://www.isrr.net/ http://registry.adoption.com/ (also look for local state and country registries – beware of those that ask for money) Check for searching information here - http://www.bastards.org/library/search.h… Check here for search help - and links to search angels - http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/ And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found - http://www.adultadoptees.org/ Also - I very much agree with Lori - you need to let your husband take on this search - and lead the way. Search & reunion can be an emotional rollercoaster. Hold his hand - be his support - but please let him lead the way. Here are some sites to help you understand the times. (USA and Australia had very similar practices - Australia though finally saw the light and opened records in the early '90's - sadly USA is far behind) http://www.babyscoopera.com/ http://www.theadoptionshow.com/home2.php http://www.exiledmothers.com/ http://origins-usa.org/ http://www.originsnsw.com/ I wish you both well in the search ahead.

Question: Help about finding my birth mother.? Hi, I am 23 years old and I was born in 1985 in Illinois. I just received papers about my adoption and in them was all of the non identifying information about my birth mother. These are the official papers from when the adoption took place. They have the official Cook County seal on them. In the papers it has a quote from my birth mom saying she would like me to contact her once I am 21 or older. It also has a paper in which it says my mother is signed up in the Illinois adoption registry. So if I register I will receive the info I am looking for. The only problem is I know this takes a long time to process. Since I have all of these papers is there any faster way I can get the information I seek? Perhaps I could go to Chicago where the papers were written up or I could take a drive down to Springfield to the official Adoption Registry office. It's a 5 hour drive but if I can get the info right away it would be well worth it.

Answer: Go ahead and sign up on the registry. You might as well start that process as you pursue other avenues. (If it takes awhile, you don't want to put that off.) As for traveling, likely the offices won't give you any further details. The records are sealed, and they won't give anything out. (Frustrating, I know.) You should also register on both http://www.isrr.net and http://registry.adoption.com/ Depending on how much information you have, you can start playing detective yourself. This can take awhile, though, so registering on as many sites as you can may speed the process. Check here for search help - and links to FREE search angels - http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/ There are lots of people willing to help. Good luck to you!

Question: if you've given up a child for adoption please respond? I'm having a very hard time finding my biological parents. I've posted my information and the limited non identifying information on what i believe to be every free adoption/reunion site. the way my adoption was set up, my biological mother has the records sealed so tight i cannot even pay the adoption agency their usual fee for them to be opened. i've searched through the sites and nobody is searching for a female born on my birthday.......why would she do this? should i give up on my search? having run into so many road blocks in my search i feel like she's done everything in her power to never be found...i just wanted to know where i come from and for her to know that i'm ok..... Good idea! My birthday is June 15, 1986 adoption finalized June 19, 1986. Born in Terre Haute Indiana. I have another post on here, Adult Adoptee Born June 15, 1986 Vigo County Indiana. Thank you all for your advice...those lying sacks of S*** at my adoption agency! They broke my heart and made me feel hopeless and unwanted!

Answer: ""the way my adoption was set up, my biological mother has the records sealed so tight i cannot even pay the adoption agency their usual fee for them to be opened."" Your natural mother did not 'seal' your/her records....that is done by the state according to state law. Your mother never had the power to do this..and if the adoption agency told you this...they are lying thru their lying-azz teeth! Most adoption agencies..for a 'nice' searching fee...will take your current info and hopefully pass it on to your mother. But please know your nmother never had the power and/or control to seal the records. You might want to find a 'search angel'...maybe someone here can give you a link or info to one. I found my daughter with the extraordinary help of a 'search angel'..armed with only my maiden name, her birth date and the name of the hospital. In 6 days I was talking to my daughter on the phone!!..34 years after losing her to closed adoption. BTW... I did contact the adoption agency (prior to contacting a 'search angel')...as naive and ignorant as I once was...the director and the head of their so-called adoption dept...was as helpful (or as useless) as teets on a bull! They were dismissive and arrogant. On the phone once, the director said she couldn't help me, but told me to hold on. The phone was not put on mute. I heard her chair move from her desk, I heard her walking, I heard the sound of a metal drawer being opened and closed..she came back to the phone and told me..."I have your case-file right in front of me..but I can't share anything with you"! WTF..talk about TORTURE! The name of this adoption agency was Lutheran Child and Family Services in Addison, Illinois. And my daughter had already contacted this agency 13 years before when she was 21...but no one tried to find me...to tell me!!

Question: How can I get my medical records if I was adopted, in Massachusetts? I am over 18. I was adopted in Massachusetts as a toddler. I do NOT wish to contact my birth parents at all. All I want to do is get a medical history now that I am at that age where I can start thinking about having children of my own - my doctor suggested that it would be a very good idea, but didn't know how I could go about obtaining them. If I understand what I've been reading online, family medical history / medical records are types of non-identifying information and as an adoptee I should be able to request it somehow. However, I have been searching online for anything that tells me HOW and I can't find anything!! Does anyone know how I can obtain my family medical history / medical records - in Massachusetts? Thanks in advance!

Answer: Medical records are not held by the state. They are held by the medical agency/doctor's office that created the record....where you sought treatment (or was taken for treatment as a child). Most will keep records for up to 10 years after the last visit / entry into the record, but any longer than that is not required by law and many doctors offices will destroy them after that. A hospital MAY keep them and not destroy them. You can obtain any that MAY still exist by contacting the facility that may have the record, and follow whatever requirements they have in obtaining the records. Probably having to fill out a consent or "Release of Medical Information" form. Even your current doctor can do this. Obviously, you would have to use your pre-adoption name in order to get them.

Question: Parent that abandoned your children, do you have any idea what a hole you have left in your childrens life.? 38 Years ago today I was placed for adoption and still every birthday I feel this horrible sense of loss. I was rased by wonderful excellant Adoptive parents. But they can not replace what was taken from all adoptive children. They can not give us the answers such as what nationality we are. Why we look and sometimes act the way we do. Do we have brothers and sisters out there. Do we need to take extra care in our health because there is a family history of illness. There are so many questions. The funny thing Is I do not need a relationship with you, I just want to know something about who I am. The state of New York seem to think my history belongs to you. Even the "non-identifying information"the state provides contains at least one known lie. I know this because it is the reason I was placed with my A/ parents. I am not angry at you but once a year on my birthday I allow myself to morn. If you have any regrets register with the registry's so your child can find you! Lets be clear I am not looking for Pitty. I am one of the most blessed people on the face of the earth. I am not looking for a Mother and Father and I don't care if they ignore me. And NO my mother was not a teenager. She was an educated nurse who full well knew how to avoid having children. I was not her only child. I am looking for rights for adopted children. Adoptees should not have to pay for there parents shame. Everyone has their messed up families, and my adoped parents were about as far from perfect as it can get. But I would not dare shame them, for they gave me what my biolgical mother was too ashamed too. But the fact is a birth certificate is the property of the baby in the case of every child in the united states with the exception of adoped children. Their birth certificate is allowed to be stolen to hide the same if their parents. To those of you who are not adoptees and have never experienced adoption please stay out of things you do not understand. I am angry but not at my parents, I am angry at a system that has harmed both parents and children alike. BY perminantly allowing children to be seperated they have denyed the parents and children the right to know each other even if they could not raise the children. The system told the parents they would forget and children would forget but neither does. Both suffers. I am not mad at my parents I am mad at the fool Psychologists that still pass off this load of Bull that it is "better for all concerned" but they never bothered to ask US. Some of the psychologist are admitting they were wrong and now open adoption is more common but many are still sticking to the fool story that all a person needs is a future.

Answer: I am very sorry your parents did this, but you did find people who love you like you are their own. I'm not looking for a pity party here but, my fathers side rejected my sister & I. all because my grandfather who was a good man , joined the military and they hate us because we are his grandchildren. We are shunned and literatlly spit on. so be thankful for your adoptive parents , you can't adopt a family.