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Cruel And Abusive TreatmentGround for divorce in a fault divorce, wherein the plaintiff must prove physical or emotional harm to her or himself. Ask your lawyer for the legal definition in your state. If you forego this claim, you always retain the right at trial to enter into evidence ?the behavior of the parties during the marriage.? See Fault and no-fault Divorce. Failure to assert abuse in the complaint simply precludes the court from granting a divorce on this ground, but the court is free to consider evidence of spousal abuse in making its decision. Question: Difference between cross-examination in an adversarial and inquisitorial system? What is the difference??
Can people giving evidence be more likely to be judged by their appearance or stutter in the adversarial system???
Question: Can you give me some cross examination questions for my debate against Universal Healthcare? They need to be questions I can ask my opponent about Universal Healthcare! Thank you so much!!!
Question: Does it look bad to cut off a witness in cross-examination? I mean this in more of a high school mock-trial circumstance, where everyone is paying excruciating detail to their behavior. Also, will it gain more points for the witness to push back and try to slap the lawyer in return, or just answer with "yes yes yes no no no"?
Question: how to ask good cross examination? I am a high school debater. Just average one. Next month i am going to participate in national debating championship. Then i knew from my experience that i am little bit weak in cross ex.
Question: What's the correct Cross examination technique for lawyers? Does a lawyer say to the witness "Please refer to this document. Can you read out what it says to the court?" or does the lawyer say "According to this document, you had agreed to pay A. Is that correct"? (the lawyer does the reading himself here).
Question: Legalization of Marijuana; Pro Cross Examination Questions? I am doing my debate on the legalization of marijuana and i need to come up with some cross examination questions. I want some really good tricky ones, but its hard to come up with some. Plus, i have to work on so much other things, so I could really use some help. Thanks!
I am Cross Examinating the Con.
Question: What are the responsibilities of the cross-examination team in a Debate?
Question: any idea for cross examination questions for debate on gun control? I was assigned on affirmative side, but i would like questions fr both sides.
any by gun control, i mean strictr laws on sale and use of guns, but NOT banning it to the people.
Question: Help! i dont know what to do? I have a very hard situation that is causing me a lot of pain and anguish. I don’t know what to do and I feel so lost right now. I am a 34 year old man that recently married his girlfriend after only dating for 3 months. We have been married for 2 months now, so we have been together for a total of 5 months. My wife is 25 years old so there is an age gap there. I agree that we did move way too fast and that everyone would tell us this. She is currently 3 months pregnant and the last two months have been pretty much a living nightmare. From the beginning of the relationship, this woman told me that she loved me with all her heart abnd that she had no doubt about the way she felt about me. We even talked about getting married soon. Two months into the relationship , she got pregnant after we had made a promise that we would wait until we got married to consummate our relationship. She did mention several times during the first two months that she did not want to get pregnant. But two weeks after we found out she was pregnant she promised me that she was ok with the pregnancy and she was even happy about it. I am a bipolar man that has did disorder for along time, but just recently came to the acceptance and realization that I am bipolar and now am seeking treatment (medication and therapy). From the beginning of the relationship she noticed that I had episodes of depression and mania and she would even think to herself that I might be bipolar. Three weeks after we find out she was pregnant, she was struck physically so bad that she had to leave work and unable to do anything physically throwing up all the time everything she would eat and nauseated all the time. I immediately started taking care of her like a good husband would and would only leave the house to go to work.. During the last 9 weeks that she has gotten worse and her mood swings (due to the pregnancy) have gotten worse and worse. During all this my bipolar episodes of depression and mania have increased and have acted out on those episodes with her many times throughout the pregnancy. Recently about three weeks ago she told me that she did not feel the same way anymore about me or about us and that the love she felt once for me in November through January was not there anymore. And when she explained that to me I thought that that explained the way she had been with me the last 5 weeks as far as cold, distant, abusive, and even made cruel comments. I have heard horror stories about pregnant women doing some crazy things to their husbands and even feeling like they do not love their husbands anymore as result of uncontrollable hormones, but these are marriages that have been together for years not 4 -5 months. I did also tell her that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that started getting treatment for it. She stated that she always knew I had it so it came as no surprise. She mentioned that she was tired of everything and the way I have not been able to handle her hard pregnancy. I did explain to her that her pregnancy, and the way she has changed were triggers that triggered my episodes of depression and irritability but that it wasn’t who I really was and that I was getting help for my disorder but that she would need to be patient with me. I know that I have done everything possible to make her hard pregnancy better by taking care of every possible need that she might have though all this, but she feels that I have not done a good job of handling the pregnancy at all. So now I fear that because of my bipolar disorder I have tired yet another person out of my life. I try to be positive and think that its just her hormones talking or making her feel like this and making her the things she has said and not that she is realizing that she was only infatuated with me at the beginning and now because of what she realizes is wrong with me is not willing to deal with it. When she did tell me that she was no longer in love with me, I did tell her that I was leaving and I gathered all my belongings and left, while I walked downstairs she texted me telling me that I told her I would never leave her no matter what, I came back because of that , because no matter what I love her and I love that child she is going to have. I am so distressed and tired and scared that this woman who I fell in love with is now no longer in love with me, because I have pushed her away due to my episodes of this hated decease
Question: why is my life crap and when is it enough? I Have a crap job
I don't go to school. (because my crap job doens't pay me enough to be able to afford to go)
My boyfriend That I've lived with for 2 years doesn't want to be in a relationship
But he doesn't want me to leave
My family is leterally crazy and abusive (more like insane and cruel and unusual)
According to my bf and my mom I'm fat (so i must be)
I'm not pretty
I have to dye my hair bright red just so my boyfriend will look at me without disgust
I don't make enough money at my crap job to even afford a place of my own
I always get sick (and can't afford treatment)
Which makes both my bf and my family upset at me.
Whcih makes me worse for some reason
I can't even disapear right
The only thing i have in my name is clothes and the electricity bill (woo hoo)
And I know I just gave all the reasons why my life is crap. But what I'm really asking is why the hell does all this have to be on one person? Does God or whoever is supposed to control these things ever stop to think that maybe it's too much for one person? Cuz I could certainly testify to it being so
my "best friend" or someone i can always talk to is someon who just tells me "I hope You feel better." That's it. NOthing more.
Question: Does anyone know about good treatments for controlling the symptoms of borderline personality disorder? I live in the UK where we get free healthcare under the NHS and I grew up in a very physically and emotionally abusive environment. After > 10 years of unsuccessful involvement with various mental health services which has generally involved me being sent for some type of counselling or therapy of one sort or another I found an article by a French psychiatrist on the internet describing good treatment a bit like:
Imagine you had a cyclist involved in a serious accident who had 2 broken legs. You treat them with drugs (eg painkillers) and perform surgery (stage 1 - give them theoretical use of their legs back), and then perhaps physiotherapy (stage 2 - learn to walk, cycle again). To start with stage 2 would be cruel as the patient still has broken bones.
He compared quality mental health treatment to this - give the patient pharmacological treatment to restore the brain's messed up neurochemistry back to normality (stage 1), and then introduce the therapy which has so far failed for me - expecting the patient to learn better adaptive behaviours in therapy which they are not yet capable of because of the problems in their mind's neurochemistry first.
So I've had a long battle with the NHS trying to convince them of this logic. I have depression, severe anxiety, mood crashes at the slightest negative stimulus, extreme emotional dysregulation (which has cost me almost all my friends and left me frequently suicidal), angry outbursts (smashing things, saying nasty, hurtful things to other people without understanding what it does to them because I don't form normal emotional bonds with people easily - instead tending to be present only "intellectually" in social situations), emotional detachment from others, frequent alcohol abuse and I feel things so intensely at the slightest hint of rejection that I tend to behave in generally reckless and self destructive ways on a regular basis. By the way if anyone reading this is also borderline I'm male and don't suffer from the self mutilation aspect of the disorder (well, apart from the drinking).
However, I wanted a mood stabiliser and I have just been started on the mood stabiliser carbamazepine (today) and I'd like to know if this is likely to help and if yes at what sort of dosage would I need to build up to to get any benefits? Or will it be useless? Or am I likely to need to request that it be combined with other things like lithium or a low dose neuroleptic? Sorry for how long this is, but I don't want to start therapy or start trying to make new friends (just for my disorder to wreck the relationships and hurt me more in a few months time) until the symptoms have been reduced from severe to at least mild or moderately controllable because as anyone with the disorder will know, there is no more painful psychological wound than meeting people and then having them abandon you because of your disorder that they don't understand.
Thanks for reading.
Question: Please help me. :( I'm really confused...? I left an abusive relationship not long ago (April).
He cheated on me, abused me (verbally and physically), he manipulated me, he lied to me, he raped me. :(
He moved a new girl into our home two days after I moved out. Now he is with someone new... (a different girl than even that first one).
My question is... Will he treat every girl that cruel? Or did he only treat me that badly? Will every girl get that same treatment?
Will every girl he ends up with spend nights crying on the floor, after being hit?
Will every girl he gets with end up getting sick to her stomach over the names he calls her?
Will every girl have to suffer the heart ripping fact that he is cheating on her?
One of his exes is still friends with him. Why?
Question: I have autism. Do you know someone with Autism? If so, click here!? For a very long time, I had been treated as a disease instead of a person. Everything I did in an attempt to communicate was dismissed as "wrong"! Yet, it seemed, I was the only one who felt that I was attempting to reach out at all. In my mind, every time I tried to "shake hands" I was emotionally punched in the face.
I'm not sure how to put this next bit, so try and stay with me... ^_^
I was raised by a severely mentally ill drug abuser, who was very cruel(extreme psychical, emotional, and sexual abuse) and distant. Yet, overtime I went from being a horribly socially inept NT hating outcast with NO interest in people-to a highly social, successful, happy, well adjusted person who accepted autism as a personality trait-not a flaw needing to be fixed(I've also lead long term, fulfilling romantic relationships). Mostly, I did this alone, by my own choice.
I have a little idea...
So many people I speak with say things like:
"You don't look autistic to me."
"Well, YOU know, you're not really autistic."
"The 'cure' that we are talking about is for actual autistics; not people like you."
"Autism, eh? So is that like being retarded?"
And on the other side we have these equally ignorant statements:
"You have autism? You must be a genius."
"I wish I had autism so that I could do really neat things like paint master pieces and learn a language in a week just like you."
"You must be the next step in evolution!"(no, really, someone said that to me!)
These individuals have no idea of my personal struggles! How hard I had to try to just manage basic communication, etc. It offends me! I often catch myself saying "If only you knew."
My mother drugged me heavily, and put me through many other non effective therapy techniques. Things like forced eye contact, forced affection, etc. Even though it was obvious my mother was very abusive, and it was apparent that she made me worse during therapy sessions, I was not listened to because I had AS. My therapist was not at all shocked when my mom told her about her favorite "treatment". She would beat the crap out of me, then force me to hug her and say "I love you." over and over again. Dr. Sarah even made comments like "Well, it's not like she's really human anyways."
I didn't know how to communicate my needs for a very long time, so people assumed what it was instead of asking. When I finally found a way to convey my feelings, I was ignored(often because ASD needs are different from typical needs).
My idea is simple.
I was horribly abused. Yet, despite this, I can function very well in society today! My belief is that I pulled through because I had a friend with AS. It's not having more people like myself that made the difference. It was the attitude. When her family showed open acceptance(as opposed to forced normalcy), I flourished-even though I only spent a minuscule amount of time with them.
I was thinking... What if... I made a You tube series or a Vlog, etc about life with autism, with the intention being focused on a "Understanding" perspective for NTs?
For example, to help parents and teachers get into my shoes, what if I described an imaginary world where autistics were the majority and NTs the minority? A place where everything had "texture warnings" and NTs were labeled? Not to be cruel, but to show them that we are trying, and that it's often difficult trying to function when every attempt you make to reach them is treated like a social no-no. Would it help them?
What do you think? What would be helpful?
PS: I'm not interested in cures. To cure me would be to remove my personality completely and replace it with another.
Question: How does this solution to the welfare dilemma sound? I have an idea about how to solve the welfare problem that I don't think is prejudiced against anyone.
Why don't we pick a date nine months from today and pass a law that says that everyone (legal and illegal) that is on welfare will not receive welfare benefits for any children born after that date. Those that are currently pregnant will not receive benefits for any children born after the birth of that child.
As part of the law, the people affected by it will be supplied with ANY method of birth control that they desire, even one (1) abortion (which I am COMPLETELY opposed to), as long as it is within the FIRST trimester, at no cost to them. If they choose to have an abortion after the first trimester, they will not be able to have it paid for by the system, and will not be eligible to receive monetary benefits.
Also, as part of the law, the mother of the child should be declared ineligible to collect welfare if she cannot provide the name and address of the father, so that he can be pursued for support payments. I am appalled at the way young girls today have sex with multiple partners, get pregnant and have no idea who the father is (I watch Maury because I'm fascinated by the lack of shame shown by the young men and women that admit to mulitple partners and illegitimate babies). They don't care because the tax payers are going to be FORCED to pick up the tab.
For those that have children born after the nine month date, they would receive benefits in the form of coupons for baby formula, diapers, food stamps, etc., until the child is five years old, but no monetary payments. They would also have to provide proof that they are actively attempting to/or receiving monetary support from the father of the child in order to collect the coupon benefits. After the child turns 5 and starts school, they would receive no more benefits unless they were actually employed, and then the benefits would still be in the form of food stamps only, until it could be shown that the support is no longer necessary.
Any welfare recipient that is addicted to drugs or alcohol, would not even be able to leave the hospital with the child. This is for the protection of the child, not punishment for the mother. If they cannot get themselves into treatment (of course this would have to be provided for by the taxpayers) and show that they are recovered and able to care for the child within one year, the child would then be placed for adoption. Sounds cruel to the parent? Sound crueler to me to put the child in jeopardy with an addicted or alcoholic parent. (My parents had 130 foster children over the course of 20 years many of whom were the product of such addictive, abusive behavior, so I'm not just talking thru my hat here).
Naturally, you will have a LOT of people that will immediately become pregnant to take advantage before the law affects them (get one more in so to speak), but after that, I believe the numbers would drop off dramatically.
This would provide plenty of jobs for social workers, recovery centers, coupon printers, and private investigators trying to find the absent fathers to make them support their children.
People that are not on welfare, don't collect any money from the government if they decide to have children, whether planned or unplanned, (isn't that discriminatory against them), so why should welfare recipients be rewarded for having children that they cannot afford to support and sometimes have no idea who even fathered the child?
It angers me to see responsible people struggle to provide for their families due to job loss and having to provide proof that they are looking for work in order to collect the unemployment benefits they worked for (sometimes for most of their lives). Then, when the benefits run out in two years or so, if they are still unable to find work,they lose everything and are forced to live in their cars or on the street because they are not eligible for welfare, food stamps or any benefits afforded to unwed mothers and illegal aliens.
Many illegal aliens work in our country "off the books" so to speak and receive cash payments. This makes them eligible to collect benefits because there is no proof that they have any income. If they are going to be here working and taking American jobs, then they need to be paying taxes and providing proof of how they are managing to pay their living expenses, before they can apply for any benefits. I mean if they have a place to live and car to drive they HAVE to be making money somewhere, or am I crazy?
Well, I'm sorry to rant and rave, but it seems as though we are becoming the minorities in our own country. We are forced to press one for "english" in our own country. I feel that if you can't speak the language, you should not be allowed to drive. How can you safely drive if you can't read the signs? There are just too many ab
Question: How do know someone is faking a mental disorder? My ex boyfriend has always claimed he has bipolar, however he doesn't seek help. He will schedule physc. appointments and just not go, he abuses anti-seizure meds prescribed for his brother among other drugs. He would be nice to me one day and very verbally abusive and angry the next. I used think he claims were true and tried to help but doesn't follow though with treatment. He has applied for SSI/disability payments but has been denied twice. He has a third case pending now. I have reported him to the SS
agency for fraud because he would lie about seeking treatment and how much money he was making. I just moved out and now staying with parents because his abuse has become physical and he was stealing money from my checking accounts.
Some people think I was being cruel for "abandoning" him and causing him trouble but I just can't stand for being being abused and ripped off even if his "condition" is real.
My question how easy it to fake bipolar or is his behavior possibly caused bt bipolar?
Question: How does this solution for welfare sound? have an idea about how to solve the welfare problem that I don't think is prejudiced against anyone.
Why don't we pick a date nine months from today and pass a law that says that everyone (legal and illegal) that is on welfare will not receive welfare benefits for any children born after that date. Those that are currently pregnant will not receive benefits for any children born after the birth of that child.
As part of the law, the people affected by it will be supplied with ANY method of birth control that they desire, even one (1) abortion (which I am COMPLETELY opposed to), as long as it is within the FIRST trimester, at no cost to them. If they choose to have an abortion after the first trimester, they will not be able to have it paid for by the system, and will not be eligible to receive monetary benefits.
Also, as part of the law, the mother of the child should be declared ineligible to collect welfare if she cannot provide the name and address of the father, so that he can be pursued for support payments. I am appalled at the way young girls today have sex with multiple partners, get pregnant and have no idea who the father is (I watch Maury because I'm fascinated by the lack of shame shown by the young men and women that admit to mulitple partners and illegitimate babies). They don't care because the tax payers are going to be FORCED to pick up the tab.
For those that have children born after the nine month date, they would receive benefits in the form of coupons for baby formula, diapers, food stamps, etc., until the child is five years old, but no monetary payments. They would also have to provide proof that they are actively attempting to/or receiving monetary support from the father of the child in order to collect the coupon benefits. After the child turns 5 and starts school, they would receive no more benefits unless they were actually employed, and then the benefits would still be in the form of food stamps only, until it could be shown that the support is no longer necessary.
Any welfare recipient that is addicted to drugs or alcohol, would not even be able to leave the hospital with the child. This is for the protection of the child, not punishment for the mother. If they cannot get themselves into treatment (of course this would have to be provided for by the taxpayers) and show that they are recovered and able to care for the child within one year, the child would then be placed for adoption. Sounds cruel to the parent? Sound crueler to me to put the child in jeopardy with an addicted or alcoholic parent. (My parents had 130 foster children over the course of 20 years many of whom were the product of such addictive, abusive behavior, so I'm not just talking thru my hat here).
Naturally, you will have a LOT of people that will immediately become pregnant to take advantage before the law affects them (get one more in so to speak), but after that, I believe the numbers would drop off dramatically.
This would provide plenty of jobs for social workers, recovery centers, coupon printers, and private investigators trying to find the absent fathers to make them support their children.
People that are not on welfare, don't collect any money from the government if they decide to have children, whether planned or unplanned, (isn't that discriminatory against them), so why should welfare recipients be rewarded for having children that they cannot afford to support and sometimes have no idea who even fathered the child?
It angers me to see responsible people struggle to provide for their families due to job loss and having to provide proof that they are looking for work in order to collect the unemployment benefits they worked for (sometimes for most of their lives). Then, when the benefits run out in two years or so, if they are still unable to find work,they lose everything and are forced to live in their cars or on the street because they are not eligible for welfare, food stamps or any benefits afforded to unwed mothers and illegal aliens.
Many illegal aliens work in our country "off the books" so to speak and receive cash payments. This makes them eligible to collect benefits because there is no proof that they have any income. If they are going to be here working and taking American jobs, then they need to be paying taxes and providing proof of how they are managing to pay their living expenses, before they can apply for any benefits. I mean if they have a place to live and car to drive they HAVE to be making money somewhere, or am I crazy?
Well, I'm sorry to rant and rave, but it seems as though we are becoming the minorities in our own country. We are forced to press one for "english" in our own country. I feel that if you can't speak the language, you should not be allowed to drive. How can you safely drive if you can't read the signs? There are just too many absurdities to go on.
WOW!! I touched a nerve. A little background, I don't hate anyone, I wasn't ranting, I was just offering an idea. My parents did not spoil me, I can't afford to go to the doctor or dentist either, I work full time and I can barely afford groceries after the bills are paid.
My simple idea was that if women were not paid to have illegitmate babies, they would stop having them. If fathers were forced to support them, or go to jail, they would be more careful. What's wrong with suggesting that people have enough self respect to at least know who fathered their child(ren)? I just don't think it's fair that people that choose to be married/together to raise their children don't qualify for help, but if you don't know/won't tell who the father is you get paid. I'm NOT prejudice. I think the law should apply to everyone regardless of color, ethnicity, etc. I guess I'm just appalled at far we've sunk as a society that it's ok to keep having babies with no visible means of support.
Question: Do you tend to go back to an ex just to be in a relationship? If so what is your sign? I am a Scorpio and I come off online as clingy, needy, and desperate a lot of times. I always have to be in a relationship all the time in my life otherwise I become too mentally unstable.
There is a girl I repeatedly break up with who I really don't want to be with. I think I am using her. I will break up with her and try to get in a long-term relationship with a girl I really adore online when that fails. We meet in person don't connect or things go south after a few dates I will fly back to this other girl and she always takes me back. She will forgive me no matter what I do. I have broken up with her 4 times in the last 5 years and tried going on dates with other women during that time. When I have limited success and I don't get what I want I always go back to her. I am not sure if I love her but she gives me the emotional needs and sex I need whenever I want it. I need emotional security and I thrive on sex. I can emotionally manipulate her to get all the sex I want from her. I will threaten to leave her again, act cold and mean and be verbally abusive to her. I will do whatever it takes to get all the sex I want from her. Her father abused her as a kid and she has had past boyfriends who have beaten her up. She is easy to break down emotionally and I feel secure that she will never leave me. I can control her and I love that. I eliminated all possibilities for her to cheat on me with men. I manipulated her to sell her car, cut out all contact with any male in her life whatsoever, she gave me all her email account information, I have access to all her banking information and credit cards. She will give me access to anything I ask, she trusts people too easily. Whenever she doesn't do what I want her to do I will describe in graphic detail how I am going to watch a movie like "Hellraiser" and wish that she gets tortured to death like those women because that is what happens to trash. She is religious and I will use her faith as a weapon to control her. Telling her she will be thrown in the lake of fire and has no chance to go to heaven if she doesn't do what I want her to do. She also is a little bit "slow" and was just a C student in high school. I use her lack of intelligence to my advantage she is gullible and too easily manipulated. When we break up I can date and talk to who I want online but if she even asks me permission to even glance at another man I will throw a turbulent rage at her and call her every name in the book to give her a guilt trip so she even won't consider it. I completely control her life and I love it. I absolutely have to have emotional support and sex in my life all the time or I go nuts and can't function.I can't stand not being in a relationship I emotionally break down and go nuts. I have to always be in a relationship even if I am not satisfied with the one I am with.
The weird thing of all this is I think I really do love her. I love her family, her friends, a lot about her. As cruel and bitter hatred show her it is equal to a very deep love I have for her no matter how hard that is for me to admit. I do take really good care of her and put her on pedestal when things go my way. She told me she was going to commit suicide once when I left her and I called the police on her and they gave her treatment, deep down inside I do care for her.
So anyone always go back to a relationship with someone you know will take you back? If so what is your sign?
Oh life is too funny to take seriously. I love monyself and everything good about me. We all have to love the sick dark side of our personalities. Reading the posts and this kind of humor is what makes my day. It is more fun to be hated then loved in this world. Just too funny !!! Thanks everyone for the input I really cracked up reading all the posts.
Oh and I even promised to marry her and on her wedding day I did a "no show" at her house. The minister and witnesses were there and I ditched town. She was upset but still took me back.
Question: Bad Break Up Support Please? ? Ok people, it's been six months since breaking up with the ex after 2 yrs together. In a nutshell I wanted us to commit more/get engaged/move in and he chose to split up instead. Ok, bad enough but I could cope with that. I was working abroad at the time for 6 weeks, teaching English to the adult sister of a now married ex from 7 years ago. 3 weeks in the break up happened over the phone. I texted him and suggested we meet up when I returned in 3 weeks to break up properly/give our 2yr relationship the respect it deserved but he refused, by text, informing me that this text was the last contact he was ever going to have with me and that was basically it. Over. Bascially the last time I saw him was at the departure gate at the airport when I left for my teaching assignment. We hugged, kissed, said goodbye as a couple there.
His sick, cruel method of closure has devastated me more than the break up. I can't get my head round how someone could be that cold to a person they have just been intimately involved with for 2 yrs, especially since I was his first in every way. I couldn't treat my worst enemy like that.
We're not kids - I'm 29 he is 36!!!! Though while I am an independent and a healthy adult he still lives with mummy and daddy. I was his very first girlfriend (he was 34 when we met) he had no job when we met (though has got one since) - you get the picture....
I suppose the signs were there in the beginning that he was not the best candidate for a positive adult relationship, especially when he cited his reason for not committing more was due to my 'strong' personality! (read normal healthy adult!)
I dunno, I feel a bit crap at the moment, I'm at the stage where I'm half blaming myself wondering if I was as much of a bitch as he seems to think I was, I had a dream about him last night in which he was the loving person he was at first and then as I woke up he became the self centred, controlling, devious little boy I broke up with. Still I think the dream has gotten to me and I'm feeling things I don't want to about him. I was fine that we broke up - it was the right thing to do as I was so unhappy and I had to make a change in my life with or without him. It was the way it was done that was the worst - I would have met with him and broken up civilly and lovingly as our 2yrs together deserved, not callously the way he wanted it.
I feel the most overwhelming pain at the moment and I am not meeting my obligations as I should be. I have an important business meeting tomorrow (I'm an entrepreneur) and I can't seem to motivate myself to go.
It's like I've become dead and numb inside. At first I coped great but it's hitting me now. I find myself wondering if he thinks about me, if he has someone else now, if he feels guilty for treating me so horribly at the end, even though I know he was completely the wrong person for me and even emotionally abusive.
8 months into the relationship he told me that if I got as big as my mum (3 stone/42lb heavier approx) he would not find me attractive. We nearly broke up over that as I couldn't be with someone like that and I knew I would be terrified of eating around him. He cried, apologised and I forgave him but things were never the same after that. He became somebody else in my eyes. I ceased to feel safe with him. Controlling streaks began to emerge in other ways - how Ispent my money, the food I gave him, debating with him when he wanted me to just take his opinion nad leave it at that (his words pretty much) putting me down in a group of people once when I was in a conversation with a medical professional, giving me the silent treatment when he was upset with me. Little things y'know?
He was not too good for me and yet I still feel sad. Please help me snap out of this! Thank you guys&gals...xx
Thank you so much for your answers so far everyone - I feel better already! Thank you Pam for the affirmation for tomorrow "Today will be a better day than I ever thought possible" I feel really uplifted by that and am going to try it! Much love to you all xxxx
Question: My girlfriend is being abused at home, but she won't take action. What can we do? My girlfriend lives in fives hours away from me and we don't get to see each other a whole lot. We've been dating for 1 1/2 years and talk all the time. For quite some time now, she calls me in tears, crying because of some of the things her mother will put her through. She will get slapped, cursed at and verbally abused, and will have to clean a part of the house spotless when she has a fever. When she is sick, her mother will not take her to the hospital because she does not want to pay. She promises my girlfriend rewards like getting to see her friends if she gets good grades and cleans the house, then lies about it and traps her in her house to be a personal maid.
Sure, there are people that have it worse, much worse, but many of the things that frequently go on in her household are inexcusable and cruel. She will not take action because she's afraid of getting authorities involved, and she says that she loves her mother because she was nice as a child, but it sickens me to see her put through such irresponsible treatment as a daughter. I feel that she should be taken into custody or have authorities investigate her claims. My parents would willingly let her live here if it were legal. Is emancipation an option? I do realize that it requires parental consent, but even in extreme circumstances? Are the circumstances not extreme enough to report to the proper people?
No one should have to live like that from day to day, knowing she is not loved and put through hell and back all the time by someon who used to care. She will knock things over and ruin my girlfriend's room just to make her clean it up, and then tell her she is worthless. The things she says have a huge effect on her self-esteem as well. It isn't right.
And if she did report it, what if her mother lied her way out of it, since there is no hard evidence?
What can I do to help her? I want her to live here to escape her abusive mother, but it seems legally impossible to do so. Why does she have to suffer?
Question: Any advice for dealing with my crazy mom? I can't even begin to explain our relationship. Everything is a huge deal to her and everything has to be about her. She is going on 50 yet she gets all pouty and infant like alot of the time, I'm 16 and I don't even do that. My poor father has to put up with her excessive, repetitive, unlogical, and loud screaming every day. She recently gained weight from being on chemo for cancer and now she dresses terrible and even though she's done with treatments she always guilt trips us and acts like she was the only one who had a year from hell. She told me she doesn't want me to wait for college, she wants me to get out of her house sooner. I have a 4.0 and that is 2.0 higher than what I had last year when she was sick. She told me I could have my testing back if I got at least a 3.8 I've yet to get my testing back and I've had that 4.0 almost 2 months. She calls me names and says I run her household and that me and my dad are against her. I try to help her dress beter to make her feel better about herself but she thrives in looking like crap because it then makes it easier for her to feel bad for herself. I don't drink or do drugs and i have very strong morals, I've been told my views and values and thoughts are very mature for my age. I wish the good side of her could come out. She is either really nice or really cruel. I think she could be bipolar but that doesn't seem to be all because she is so verbally and emotionally abusive she just has to have something else to explain whats wrong with her. She keeps me up on school nights and even weekends screaming at me for what a bad kid she thinks I am. I'm so focused on college and getting out of my abusive household and she takes my excitement and rigorous research and planning as a bad thing. She thinks nothing can be fixed. I went to counseling and my dad went too but she is the problem and refuses to go. Sometimes I feel that I could be happier and less stressed and depressed if she was dead but then I think about it and it would probably be just as hard. It's gotten to the point where she yells at me so much that I feel no emotion and I'm scared because its starting to effect my social skills. I'm extremely awkward because I can't feel anything and people around me can. I was beaten when I was little by both of my parents and they really should have went through with the divorce they had planned because they don't get along at all. I also have no privacy. Our walls are paper thin and our house is small so they hear every word I say on the phone and I don't have any place to vent. I even deleted my myspace and facebook because I found myself giving away too much vent-related information on them since I had absolutely no one or no where to talk. Please give me some advice. I know I didn't say much about my mom but I can assure that living here is heellish and abnormal. I shocked my counselor with stories of my moms insanity over the most miniscule things, like not getting her the right candy bar because it wasnt at that store but still getting her something so that she could have a candy bar too. Sorry for typos, I'm on my iPod and the word guessed messes me up sometimes.
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