Co-Parenting

Question: Co-Parenting? My dad refuses to let me get a bunny, so I've been doing some research on pet rats. I've been talking to my friend, and we think it would fun to buy a couple of pet rats to share. Do you think we would be able to work that out somehow? Thanks! BTW, she does live pretty far away (def. not within walking distance) if that helps. Oh, we just decided that we would keep both rats at one house.

Answer: No I would not do that. Bunnies are better pets and if your dad doesn't want a bunny he won't want a rat. Personally I think you shouldn't have a thing that I could find in my garage as a pet...But to each his own. I would do the co-parent thing. It may seem fun but eventually it will become a problem. You guys might have a fight over them or just a random fight and it would confuse things.

Question: co-parenting? My ex uses my daughter, who is 6, to convey messages on a regular basis. Last week on the phone my daughter told me her mommy and her boyfriend were having a baby and that they were going to be moving in with her boyfriend. My ex just doesn't see that using my daughter to tell me this is wrong.

Answer: She didn't have to tell you at all. She is your EX. All she is obligated to tell you is where to pick up the kid. That was not a message from the ex to you, it was your little girl getting excited about a new baby and a new home. Given that ONE "message" I'm not buying that your ex does this, I think you're just bitter, possibly a little jealous.

Question: Where can I find Free co parenting classes in california? So, It was required by the court to take co parenting classes, I really cant afford it. Does anyone know where i can find a class here in San bernardino county that's free or low cost?

Answer: I think Community Colleges may offer them. In LA there's a center called Children's Institute Inc where I've volunteered that has parenting classes, and I think they're all free. You could maybe contact them and ask if they know if they have a branch or know of something similar in SBC.

Question: how long does it take to finalize a divorce after the co-parenting workshop certificate is turned into court? our divorce has been in the works since 2007, we are just now completing the co parenting workshop class and i want to get this done asap, so i can remarry. yes, i know. its been 3 years and its time for the past to become permanent, but i am not sure about the court system and how they process the final stages of the divorce, do i have to wait months? or does it become final when the final paperwork is handed in?

Answer: If you call down to the courthouse they may be able to give you an idea or contact your attorney. If you know someone else who has gone through the same thing, they could give you some advice.

Question: Do you know any good parenting or co-parenting class in Garden Grove or Anaheim California? Any class I can learn to become a better parent. I also want to learn so I can co-parent with my daughter.

Answer: You and your daughter can take this online class together: http://www.pricelessparenting.com/Parent… It's seven lessons and takes about 10 hours between going through the lessons and trying out the homework.

Question: How would one go about co-parenting when the other refuses to do so? Specifically on the issue of potty training. My daughter is 3 years old and it is time she learn to use the potty. At my house I have incorporated stickers as a reward for using the potty and at first it was working but now my daughter has lost interest in the stickers and this weekend would not sit on the potty. I don’t believe in spanking so I don’t want to do that. I have tried to talk to her mom about getting a plan together and having it be consistent between both houses but do you know what she told me. She refuses to speak to me about it and states that we must work it out in court (btw, she is crazy). Her mom does not put her on the potty. I know this because my daughter has told me so. I am sick of the diapers and it is time she learned to use the potty. She is big enough but if her mom refuses to work with me. I have her almost half the time. What can I do being that she is only at my house little less than half the time and her mother refuses to co-parent? There is no talking to her mother so that is out of the question.

Answer: It is never easy to potty train especially when there isn't help from her main home. All of my potty trained children were different to deal with. My best suggestion would be to stick with the rewards. Maybe even try to get her super syked about it and make chart type pics to take home with her so she has that visual with her all the time. Granted mom may toss it out but at least she has the visual for an amount of time. Not something that she would need to take back and forth, just a daily log kind of. Let her decorate it everyday.

Question: My ex has a personality disorder and I want to know if co-parenting is really an option? I really don’t know if my wife is a narcissist, sociopath, borderline or a combination. I know that she manipulated the children and things are very difficult when her life is not what she wants it. I am sick & tired of the games she plays & the amount of times she drags me to court.

Answer: Go to www.bpdfamily.com and find their message boards. You will find LOADS of stories there just like yours with advice on how to cope.

Question: What are the court ordered co-parenting classes like? Its the class that you get court ordered to take when you filefor custody and all. I Have to go to my first one tonight. I'm nervous!

Answer: Don't be nervous ~ It is like a Seminar and the one I attended did not include introduction of yourself, etc. You just have to sit back and listen ~ It's not that bad, and you'll learn alot.

Question: what is a good site on co-parenting planning? I like to learn about and prepare to negotiate coparenting. Do you know any good website?

Answer: About.com has a good article on how to write up parenting plans and has a few templates so you can customize your own.

Question: What are the downfalls to co-parenting? (read for more info)? My father's daughter is pregnant with my husband's baby. I am okay with it. We live together and have sex together often. We would like to co-parent the child, but can someone tell us how this done and what are the downfalls to this. we met as adults about 3 years ago and have been together since. we didnt know about each other growing up.

Answer: I don't see why it wouldn't work. Just take caution. You live together now, what happens with sister moves out? Yikes. Surely she'll take her child with her. Sounds traumatizing for you. I think the three of you should sit down now and decide what role you're going to play in the childs life. Are you going to be Aunt, or Mommy number 2? Things like this need to be discussed before baby gets here. Good luck and Happy New Year!

Question: Co-parenting techniques with step parents and bio parents? Step parents: how much of a role do you play in parenting your step children? Bio parents: how much of a role do you think is appropriate for step parents? Does it depend on the relationship? Cirumstances? Any exceptions? Why? Just wondering what other people do...I'm kind of bored, my boss made me come in today.

Answer: I am a stepparent. My role is to be a parenting partner to my husband in his life. That means that, when his child is with us, we work as equals to parent her. When he's dealing with his ex re: co-parenting issues, I am his support person, but he is the only one who contacts her. About 1.5 years ago, after mom moved my stepdaughter out of state without notice and refused to allow us to even exercise visitation, the courts reversed primary residence to my husband -and- my stepdaughter moved in with us. Since then, mom has refused to exercise her visitation or make any contact at all. So, I'm now acting as dad's parenting partner & the main adult woman in her life. But, still, stepmom - dad's wife - not 'mom'. That position is already filled in her heart & in her life & that's OK. Because my position is special, too.

Question: filing child tax credit as residential parent in co-parenting? do i as the residential parent have the right to file for child tax credit if her father still owes back child support but is making extra payments in addition to his child support and it is his year to claim? as an unmarried couple in mediation we agreed he claim her ever other year.. and it was stated in our support papers but as it turns out she is with me 85% of the time. Will i still be able to claim her for 2010? our agreement was feb, 2010.

Answer: If you have an agreement dated on or before July 2, 2008 that the noncustodial parent will claim the child in 2010, you cannot take the child tax credit in 2010. If your agreement went into effect after July 2, 2008, the noncustodial parent must have form 8332 signed by you and attached to his tax return. If you do not provide this form, he cannot claim the child tax credit. If you wish to revoke an agreement that the noncustodial parent claim the CTC, send him Form 8332 with Part III filled out, to be in effect the following year. For example, if you send him the form in 2010, your agreement is revoked for 2011. The claim for CTC has no connection to the payment of child support.

Question: Please recommend an alternative to co-parenting classes. My ex-wife refuses to participate? We have a 2 year old son, joint custody. Communication regarding our child goes only one way. Is there a class that I can take to help me deal with her behavior and make sure that my son doesn't get psychologically beat up in the process? I am located in the Denver/Colorado Springs area.

Answer: talk to your ex n explain how its going to affect the kid in the process...

Question: What do you think of Co-parenting? Incase you're not sure of what it is, its when two people decide to have a child together, but they are aren't married, in an intimate or sexual relationship, they are normally just friends. Its also normally done by AI. What are you're thoughts on this?

Answer: What a concept! Wonderful! When two people decide and plan to have a child it's a sign of success. It's a sign that child is in for good things, because if they have choose to get pregnant and are preparing, they are likely talking to each other about how they'll do this, or deal with that. A couple of "co-parenters" would likely discuss how they will parent in detail. Imagine all parents did that?

Question: What is your opinion of shared parenting or co-parenting?

Answer: As in like joint physical custody where the child goes back and forth frequently? I think in the real world it almost never works--if the parents can get along well enough to manage this amicably, then they probably wouldn't be divorced! Almost without exception, the very issues that split the couple (infidelity, addiction, abuse, different values, etc.) will arise over and over regarding various aspects of parenting. If one ex has lost respect or trust for the other, it will be hard to negotiate the terms of co-parenting agreement, and to feel comfortable that the terms will be followed. I will tell you that after my ex and I first separated, he moved out of town and wanted a way to spend time with the children when he came back to town to visit. I didn't want them at a hotel room, so I offered to vacate our home (previously our family home) and go stay at my mom's for the weekends when he came. I thought I was doing the right thing for the sake of the children and stability. A couple of months later, when I found the TV satellite bills for the PPV porn movies he had ordered, and the long distance telephone bills to his gf and heaven knows who else, and also suspected that he might be planting bugs around the house and going through my closet and drawers trying to find dirt on me to use in court, I decided that wasn't such a good idea! More power to you if you can make it work, but I stand by my opinion that if you can co-parent, you should be able to still be a couple!

Question: anyone know any good books on lesbian parenting/co-parenting? my partner and i are interested in creating a family and were wondering if anyone out there was aware of any resources we could access that would help us know our options? anyone know of any self help books about how to raise kids in an all female environment/tips on how to manage discrimination etc? thanks :)

Answer: As i say to anyone a 'Book' can never teach you anything you will learn as you go on ..did you need a book to get you where you are today and are you happy with who you are ..If yes then why need a book ..be happy then the kids will be too !

Question: Does anyone know of any websites with professional advice on single co-parenting after a difficult divorce?

Answer: No but I'd like to hear the answers. I'm in the same boat.

Question: How to co-parent with an abusive ex husband? Has anyone out there ever had success when it comes to co-parenting children with an ex who is abusive and controlling? My kids and I moved 2000 miles away to escape an abusive situation..8 years later we are back to be closer to family and our support system.. The ex is now involved with the children for visitation.. We are back to all the old BS we had to deal with all those years ago.. Is there any hope? Should we have stayed away? What would you have done?

Answer: You should of requested supervised visitations.

Question: Remember when co-parenting meant being married? What happen to that? What happen to meeting having a strong relationship, agreeing to having a lifetime relationship, getting married having kids and staying in it for the long haul? People have children with strangers , divorce at the first bump They say they are co-parenting. What about living together and co-parenting? I am not marreid nor do I have children, I am taking a summer class. So I need opoioins thoughts comments

Answer: Because sometimes it just does not work out that way. I have been with my soon to be ex husband fro over 6 years. We have a 3 year old little boy together who we both love very much. We are co-parenting him. We got married and had him and we thought we would be together forever but after trying so hard to make it work I just finally had enough. I was not happy anymore. I struggled with the decision on whether or not to leave for months and finally I decided that life is too short to spend it being miserable. S*** happens. You grow up and grow apart. Divorce sucks but being in a relationship that makes you miserable is much worse.

Question: Co Parenting with an ex? I am taking a co parenting class for my youngest daughter to help be a better parent with her biologically father. It seems more times out of 10 I am the one who is making the effort and he is not. I was wondering if anyone else out there has a good parenting plan they use to deal with the ex and your shared child?

Answer: Unfortunately, you cant make someone else be a better parent. Thus, making it seem like you're making all the effort and sacrifices. It can make you bitter. In the same boat myself. Personally, what works for me, I try to pick my battles wisely. Otherwise everything can be a fight. Always have what's best for your child in mind and your child's feelings. It may mean you giving up Xmas with your child or sacrifice other things for the sake of your child's relationship with the father. Yes it sucks, but it's worth the fact your child has every benefit of a healthy non-strained relationship with the father. And you are the best role model this child has. She will realize those sacrifices when she's older and it will play a tremendous role in the adult she becomes!! Its worth it!