Companionate Marriage

Question: if u file injured spouse and your spouse only worked but u are in community property state.? so i'm still eligible to file injured spouse w/o income but it's really my spouse tax return and we have seperate bank accounts how can i get my injured spouse portion direct deposited into my own account i didn't opt for it b/c he's not getting refund my name isn't on his account so how will check be issued?could i have put account info on return but his name is not on my account either but we did file jointly

Answer: Last I heard (and I'm in TX, a community property state), Injured spouse isn't going to help you get a refund AT ALL. All it does, is absolve you of any responsibility to pay HIS business taxes. YOU can't get a refund, if you didn't work - there's nothing to refund. If you are married filing jointly, that's where the injured spouse bit comes in. You can't use it to "attach" part of his income tax return. Income tax return checks get issued in the name of the filer. So if you filed married - joint - both names will be on the check, it can't be deposited/cashed without both signatures.

Question: A married couple purchase a house and finance VA in a community property state. One spouse has children from a former marriage and does not have a will and does not want to make one. If this spouse dies, what happens as far as ownership of the house. Both parties have signed and taken responsibility for the mortgage. Is there a solution other than a will? The spouse without a will wants the other spouse to have the house.

Answer: Registering the property as joint owners with right of survival acts to remove that property from the estate. It moves without will. This works both ways, of course.

Question: Debt considerations for a VA Mortgage on the spouse in a community property state? I have great credit and live in a community property state. I have been married for less then a year and my wife had several accounts in collections before we were married that show up on her credit report that the loan officer pulled. He states her balances and monthly payments listed on her credit report have to be considered as part of the total housing debt. I qualify without issue by myself for the loan however, when the loan officer looks at her report he sees several open accounts accounts in collections that have balances due and with minimum payments listed that in total that take me over the allowable percentage to qualify for the loan. Any idea why her credit report even has to be reviewed and these items in consideration when I am applying for the loan myself only?

Answer: In a community property state even if your wife is not on the title or loan her creditors can still seek a judgment against her and if not paid they can place a lien on your property. Do you know why they are saying you don't qualify now? is it because of debt to income ratio issues?

Question: IRS Tax Q: Married Filing Seperately in Community State: Mortage Interest from Seperate Property? Hi, I am newly married and live in a community property state. We are filing seperately this year and I understand that we have to evenly split all income as well as all witholdings together, as well as deductions. However, I have a deduction for mortgage interest from property acquired before marriage, and paid out of my seperate bank account (instead of a joint account). CanI split this deduction 50/50 with my spouse on the return, or is it that the interest deduction can only be claimed by me since it is from a seperate property? Thanks a lot! xysk

Answer: only the person whos name appears on the mortgage can claim that on their return. as for splitting your income on your tax returns, that is not true. you had your income and withholdings and your spouse had theirs. each of you will have you own tax liability too. if you dont have to file separate returns, dont. its the most expensive filing status.

Question: Are seperate bank accounts community property in Washington state? Thinking about getting re-engaged. Problem is we have some trust issues. I don't want to lose my shirt in a divorce. Don't own much now so a prenup is not much good, but will after finished with undergrad. I do have some money in the bank and a Roth IRA and am wondering if my bank account is kept seperate from hers, and I keep putting money into it, is it my property or community property?

Answer: yes they are, from the moment you begin to live together or get married, your money and property from that point forward are community property. the only things off limits are what you had before your relationship. As your previous answerer said you can do a prenup, but as with everything, a good attorney can tear apart any contract if theres a want to do so. If your involved with a live together relationship, be prepared to share everything you have.

Question: Non community property after death of a spouse? My husband passed away a year ago after a major illness, I have recently found out that Ohio is a non community property state. I am wondering since one of the cars and the medical bills are in his name, am I responsible for those debts? and if not how do i go about "getting rid" of these debts....?

Answer: You are not personally responsible for his debts, but his estate is. Did he own a home? Or have any bank accounts? Or own any other real property that could be sold? If so, his estate must be liquidated and the proceeds used to pay off his just debts and obligations. Whoever was the executor of his will or the administrator of his estate should have been taking care of this for quite some time now. If that's you, I suggest you contact an attorney who specializes in probate cases and find out what you need to do and what you should have already done.

Question: How does, 'Community Property' work in the state of California? Say if one's wife purchases a home, while married, and the couple gets divorced. How does the process of "Community Property" work, say in the state of California? BTW, hers in the only name on the Title, and Deed of Trust.

Answer: In general, all property and debts acquired during the marriage are presumed to belong to the community and each spouse is an equal partner in the community. There are exceptions. Property acquired before the marriage can be kept separate, unless comingled. Property acquired during the marriage by gift, or inheritance is separate unless comingled. Property purchased with the use of separate property can be separate property unless comingled. It is sometimes difficult to determine if property is separate or community and this short answer is not exhaustive. There are entire sections of the law library devoted to this question and you could study for a life time and still not know it all.

Question: California is a community property state. My husband moved to Washington, filed for a divorce and doesn't california is a community property state. My husband moved to Washington, filed for a divorce and doesn't want a thing. Do I respond to his filing and then file in california? His pspers do not request any thing.

Answer: well how generous of him...(sarc!) Hope he didn't blind-side you with it & I hope you are doing okay. {hug}

Question: what is companionate marriage?

Answer: One where you don't regret it

Question: From your experience, what have you learned about marriage? Have you made any mistakes you have learned from? this is the other fellow up question for What do you think are the guidelines for a successful marriage? the next questions are : 3) What would you avoid to keep a marriage going? 4) Some marriages are "passionate," some are "companionate". Which fits you? 5) What would you say is the most important component in a succeeding marriage? 6) Do you have kids? If so were there changes after your first kid was born? 7) Are responsibilities divided evenly?

Answer: I've learned how to depend upon myself and stay strong.

Question: Passionate love or Companionate love? In most of the relationships the initial passionate love subsides and if the relation is strong converts into companionate love. How much important is each type of love in a marriage?

Answer: I have to agree with Barbara. Being married for thirty years love does and did change, I no longer run to the door when I hear the car pull up but I do take care of him to the best of my ability because I want to grow old with this man. We never fail to tell each other "I love you" and mean it, we hold hands and he kisses me on the lips when he gets home from work at three A.M. in the morning. I worry about his long drive to work because I don't want to be a widow so he's more cautious on the road now. We take care of each other and are there for each other and so the Passionate does subside but we make sure it never totally leaves as this is still another facet of our expression of passion.

Question: history true or false homework? my teacher gave us a take home true/false quiz and i wanted to c if u agree or disagree with the answers i put. there seemed to be a lot of trues next together and that makes me think some might be wrong.. [T] The Panic of 1819 cut the income of many American farmers by a third. [F] John Marshall subscribed to the supremacy of state laws within a state's jurisdiction [T] Letters from an American Farmer was a book written by a French essayist in 1782 praising the different and more just social order in America, as opposed to aristocratic Europe. [T] The republican ideal of "companionate marriage" stressed that husbands and wives should share responsibility for decisions and treat each other with respect. [T] In the early republic, Benjamin Rush argued that women should be educated so they could vote and take an active role in public life. [T] Martin Van Buren created the first satewide political machine, the Albany Regency and the first nationwide political party, the Jacksonian Democrats. [?] The power of eminent domain allowed transportation companies to force the sale of land along their rights-of-way. [?] In the 1803 of Marbury v. Madison, John Marshall explicitly claimed the power of judicial review for the Supreme Court.

Answer: The last two questions are both True

Question: Should I stay in a marriage that makes me unhappy? we have been together 10 years now and married for 8. we have 3 kids. i am not happy and haven't been for a while. we continue to have a decent intimate life but with a noted lack of enthusiasm on his part at times. i don't feel like i am "in love" with him anymore despite the fact that i do love him in a companionate way. we have virtually no communication because he won't talk to me about his feelings. trust has been gone for a long time (he chronically breaks important promises). while i am no perfect wife, i do try to make it better. but it takes both of us. he just doesn't help improve the situation. i am thinking of asking him for time apart to see if we have anything left between us to work on. what do you think? the really big issue is that he is very selfish as well as a compulsive spender that doesn't believe in saving money for any reason. there has also been an addiction to pornography.

Answer: In many ways this sounds a lot like what my wife and I went through. Neither of us were happy in our marriage although we both adore our kids. I did make mistakes, at the 9 year mark I cheated on her and myself, (kind of an odd way to express that). For the life of me I don't understand why cheated instead of confronting her and telling her that we really needed to improve our marriage. I feared that if I confronted her we would have gotten divorced, which is something that I didn't want and therefore didn't risk. That was a bad mistake, upon learning that I cheated she asked for a divorce and we have been divorced for about three months now. We didn't argue much during the divorce since we both wanted to protect the kids and neither of us is an ***. I feel that you and your husband have to be open and honest with each other and try counseling and just about anything else that you can. I don't know if this is possible, but if counseling could occur in an environment in which divorce if off the table, just what would each of you say to the other if you still had to live with each other, that level of honesty could be tough to handle but could produce the best results. Both of you deserve ernest attempts to save your marriage and so do your kids. My mistake is that I avoided the problem and my own hurt feelings and dissatisfaction with our marriage instead of confronting the issues. I will say that as your kids get older your relationship with your husband can change since you will have more time together. The additional detail of sex/porn addiction also hits close to home. Likely he should attend SA or SAA. I have attended these programs and feel that there is a real opportunity to heal. As with any addict, honesty is elusive. Both SA and SAA have programs for those that live with the addict in much the same way as Allanon. (sp?). Hope this helps. God Bless,

Question: What Makes Western Culture Unique? Here's one man's opinion, what's yours?: The Catholic Church and Christianity. A tendency toward monogamy. A tendency toward simple family structure based on the nuclear family. A greater tendency for marriage to be companionate and based on mutual affection of the partners. A de-emphasis on extended kinship relationships and its correlative, a relative lack of ethnocentrism. A tendency toward individualism and all of its implications: individual rights against the state, representative government, moral universalism, and science. http://www.csulb.edu/~kmacd/books.htm

Answer: 1. Christianity? No. Christianity is an Eastern religion. 2. Monogamy? No. You find it all over the world - or least people pretend. 3. Nuclear family? No. This is a very recent phenomenon in industrial societies and you find it in Asian industrial societies too. 4. Extended kindship? No - same reason. 5. Lack of ethnocentrism? Hardly. Do you think White people are less racist, Europeans and Americans less nationalistic? 6. Individualism? Generally, I would agree with that. 7. Representative Government? England has had it for a few hundred years, France and the US for 200 years, everyone else for much less. That is hardly a distinctive point of the culture. 8. Moral universalism? No - look at Islam for example. 9. Science? Yes, but again, look at Indian and Arab and others' contributions at other time periods. I would say what is distinctive about the West is the desire to separate religious and political power, and for society generally to challenge or confine the power of the state. But this too can be overgeneralized.

Question: I find this extraordinary that some-one should write this nonsense . Do you? Apparently he is a catholic which hardly has a rational approach to science or favours marriage outside the group . There are so many examples of other groups who you could apply these descriptions to as to make the whole thesis nonsense. Also Hitler and Naziism could be substituted for Jew in a lot of these categories. Professor Kevin B. MacDonald writes "Elsewhere I have argued that Jewish hyperethnocentrism can be traced back to their Middle Eastern origins. Traditional Jewish culture has a number of features identifying Jews with the ancestral cultures of the area. The most important of these is that Jews and other Middle Eastern cultures evolved under circumstances that favored large groups dominated by males.7 These groups were basically extended families with high levels of endogamy (i.e., marriage within the kinship group) and consanguineous marriage (i.e., marriage to blood relatives), including the uncle-niece marriage sanctioned in the Old Testament. These features are exactly the opposite of Western European tendencies" http://www.kevinmacdonald.net/Understand… European Cultural Origins = Euro Jewish Cultural Origins = Jew Evolutionary History Euro - Northern Hunter-Gatherers Jew - Middle Old World, Pastoralists (Herders) Kinship System Euro - Bilateral, Weakly Patricentric Jew - Unilineal, Strongly Patricentric Family System Euro - Simple Household Jew - Extended Family, Joint Household Marriage Practices Euro - Exogamous, Monogamous Jew - Endogamous, Consanguineous, Polygynous Marriage Psychology Euro - Companionate Based on Mutual Consent & Affection Jew - Utilitarian, Based on Family Strategizing & Control of Kinship Group Position of Women Euro - Relatively High Jew - Relatively Low Social Structure Euro - Individualistic, Republican, Democratic Jew - Collectivistic, Authoritarian, Charismatic Leaders Ethnocentrism Euro - Relatively Low Jew - Relatively High; "Hyper-ethnocentrism" Xenophobia Euro - Relatively Low Jew - Relatively High; "Hyper-xenophobia" Socialization Euro - Stresses Independence, Self-Reliance Jew - Stresses Ingroup Identification, Obligations to Kinship Group Intellectual Stance Euro - Reason, Science Jew - Dogmatism, Submission to Ingroup Authority and Charismatic Leaders Moral Stance Euro - Moral Universalism: Morality Is Independent of Group Affiliation Jew - Moral Particularism: Ingroup/Outgroup Morality; "Good is what is good for the Jews" * 16 hours ago Certainly is protected free speech. I have no objection to him saying it as long as I can say it is nonsense.

Answer: Its typical of certain brands of sociology that likes using big words or concepts which the authors feel they have to define to the lay man,its mock scientific babble.

Question: Do male-dominant couples have more or better sex? I read this "taken in hand" website and it really piqued my interest. My marriage is very companionate and equal. Would my husband and I be like, er.... we were for the first few months if we had this kind of relationship? Dear Valerie X, Doesn't that make you feel like you have no control over your own life. I mean, I'm not judging or assuming just asking. Thanks Mikey. I agree. I will ALWAYS give my husband the final say. The thing is that we usually talk things out and reach consensus without the need for anyone to have a final say, if that makes any sense. I think part of it is that we are both lawyers, so we tend to argue fairly, and in very sophistocated ways, based on abstract principles. But again, I'm not sure if this contributes to my low sex drive, or what?

Answer: Yes. I am the dominant in our marriage as that is the way it should be. We do make all important decisions together, but I have the final say in anything. We have been together for 5 years now and the sex is still almost daily and getting better and better. The rest of our marriage is very strong, and we are one of the most loving couples around. I would never make her do anything she didn't really want to, but sometimes she needs an extra push and I just tell her to do it. When I exercise that control she does it. Again make sure your husband can handle taking control of you and keeping you in line without hurting you. Also make sure you WANT him to be dominant as once you let the cat out of the bag it will be very hard for him to go back to being a modern "pushover". (As my wife calls her ex's)

Question: What more can I do to fix our relationship? I am married with 3 kids. I have been unhappy with my marriage for a while now. My husband has had a history with porn addiction that has been rerouted onto many other things (gaming, collectibles, comics, etc). There are a lot of little things that are breaking our relationship apart. He seems perfectly content with the way things are, but I am miserable. I want what most women do: financial stability, quality time, help with the kids and household chores. I want to be close to him again. I have had heart to heart talks with him, begged, pleaded, and downright nagged in an effort to make things better. I have told him that I do not feel as if I am "in love" with him. A couple of close friends know how he is and encourage me frequently to leave him. A part of me wants to leave and be done with it. I have been fighting for 10 years with this. It's gotten worse over the last 2-3 years. The other part of me wants to stay and work it out. I love him but in a companionate way. I can see the potential in him to be a successful, wonderful person that is involved in his family and takes pleasure in being with us and watching our kids grow up. I have even written down what problems I feel are the main issues and explained each one to him. I still don't see any effort on his part to make it any different. I have been open and honest with him about my feelings. If things don't change, I am seriously considering a divorce. I don't want to do that, but I refuse to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I want us to grow old together, go places, see things, and enjoy our time on this earth...together. I have recently developed an attachment to a male friend at work. Feelings have sprung up there that weren't planned or even expected. Out of decency to my husband, I have not taken this relationship further despite the times that I have wanted to. I just don't know where to go from here. Any suggestions? Please no rude and ignorant comments as they are quite unhelpful. we have tried marriage counseling for over a year with little results and now the crappy insurance won't cover it. I have given more that 100% for the past 10 years and have seen no changes. I have not given as much recently to the relationship because I am sooooo tired of fighting everyday for someone who is so selfish and uncaring. I guess I'm just tired of the struggle.

Answer: You spend all your details talking about what's wrong with your husband, but what he needs to hear is not what you want him NOT to do, but rather what you want him to DO. Here's your list of what you want, and examples of how to ge specific: 1. financial stability: This weekend, help me formulate a budget we can stick to. 2. quality time: Go out on a date with me once a week; we will take turns planning the date. 3. help with the kids: Set aside 8:00 - 8:30 pm every night to get the kids ready for bed. 4. household chores: Put away the dirty dishes after meals daily; take out the trash as needed; and help me fold laundry weekly. Write stuff down, and stick to it. He may not be cooperating like you think he should for the simple reason of not being clear on exactly what you want, or what he could do that would meet your expectations. Finally, stop associating with these so-called friends who encourage you to leave him. These people are toxic to your marriage and should be avoided. True friends don't try to break up friends' marriages!

Question: could you pls read this and react about this....?                “White” people have always dominated the other races, as they assume to themselves that they are superior, a classic case of ethnocentrism. Westerners, especially the Americans, thought that the brown race were inferior and uncivilized solely on the basis of their physical characteristics such as shortness in height, having a flat nose / dark complexion, etc., but today, after more than 100 years, the researchers were totally overwhelmed as things have totally changed, for many male Americans nowadays cross over 7,000 miles of ocean, just to court and marry a Filipinas.               There is this anomaly associated with physical attractiveness – in our species, in contrast to many others, males seem to be more concerned than females with the attractiveness of potential sexual partners. But aside from just sheer physical attraction, there are many other dimensions in which cross-cultural sexual selection could reflect upon. We understand that the male Americans also have numerous motivations regarding sexual selection/mate preferability, which ranges from propinquity or proximity to the target person, and believe it or not, even rebellion to one’s parents – and what matters is what does the male American really look for – those who have average physical features, an outstanding personality, extraordinary beauty, a combination of both, or probably those dubbed as the “superhuman”  Beauty-wise, the Americans’ value for beauty truly varies from time to time. In a computer-generated composite test of faces, the beautiful faces of the 1950s: Bette Davis, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, and Marilyn Monroe were pitted against the beautiful faces of the 1980s: Jane Fonda, Jacqueline Bisset, Diane Keaton, Brooke Shields and Meryl Streep. If you find the latter more attractive than the former, your reaction suggests that the standard of facial attractiveness is subject to change. And once the standard changes, perhaps the rest of us hurry to catch up. Or maybe, as the writer Harold Brodkey suggests, it goes the other way around: “ We have come to resemble one another, and our celebrated figures have moved along with us in the trend.” ( Brehm and Kassin 1996, 176 ). In fact, academics get paid to research interpersonal attraction, as psychologists rather drearily dub this thing called love. These findings dispel many clichés beloved of romantic fiction – from opposites attracting to absence making the heart grow fonder – while confirming others. ( Gressor 2007, 67 ).                One can put priorities behind successful marriages, some base it on purely love ( whether companionate or passionate ), romance, attraction, procreation and by asking Filipina women on why to choose foreign husbands, they usually say that they long for offsprings with unusual good looks and outstanding physical features. We now return to our main point, as said earlier, we observed that most male Americans choose to marry Filipina women. Does averageness play a key role in attraction? Some studies agree. Aesthetic appeal could simply be a matter of averages. According to research conducted by Judith Langlois and Lori Roggman in 1990, a composite of many faces is the most attractive. ( Brehm and Kassin 1996, 174 ). When undergraduate subjects rated pictures of other undergraduates, they gave more positive ratings to computer-generated composites averaged across sixteen and thirty-two faces than to the individual pictures used in the composites. Ratings of composites based on fewer faces did not differ from those given to individual pictures. Langlois and her colleagues maintain that average faces are more attractive because, by definition, they are more prototypically facelike and, thus, seem more familiar to us. They set the norm from which more unusual faces differ. But is this norm constant across time and space? Would the face that launched a thousand ships off to the Trojan War get more than a passing glance today? Perhaps so. Judgments of facial attractiveness are often consistent among raters of varying ages and different ethnic backgrounds. Ironically, even researchers who contest the notion that averageness is attractive provide evidence of cross-cultural consistency, finding that men and women from Scotland and Japan make similar evaluations of computer-generated faces of Japanese women. ( Brehm and Kassin 1996, 175 ) Many evolution-inspired researchers have started to explore whether the facial features that are judged to be attractive, such as full lips, small chin, symmetry of bilateral facial features, and so forth, are indicators of sex hormone, reproductive potential, and healthiness. Physical attractiveness depends on both facial and bodily features, but strangely, all the detailed analysis of what constitutes attractiveness and its link to genetic quality is restricted to faces, not considering WHR ( Waist-Hip Ratio ). ( Singh, 1 ).                Intercultural marriage, also known as bicultural ma its your choice whether to read or not to read this! if you dont like to then dont!! ok??

Answer: Are you serious? If this is an Essay that u have to write, I thin kyou should do it yourself. Nobody is going to read that. Sorry