Treat The Judge Respectfully

Question: Why are medical problems judged differently between gender? Through out the years I have noticed that when a guy gets a STD or something wrong with their man hood people don't pick on the guy and even maybe pity him, but when a girl gets something wrong with her woman hood or gets an STD everyone calls her a whore. I mean what's the deal with that? IMO Everyone should be treated respectfully if they have any medical problem. So my question why do people do this and is just the internet that does it more?

Answer: Double standards really suck, for women.

Question: Appealing a Magistrate's verdict in small claims case? I had a Small Claims here on September 16th and the magistrate judged against me. I had one week to appeal. During this time I received threatening emails from the defendant and my apartment was burglarized (though I cannot prove it was he who did it -- but my apartment is VERY hard to find, so only he would know where it is). Anyway, I was told I had to write a letter to the court administrator requesting an appeal beyond the one-week time frame, and explain why I initially changed my mind. Here is my letter, should I send it? Or should I send it to the Judicial Board for investigation and forget about the appeal? Dear Mr. Smith: On September 16, 2010, I was a plaintiff in Magistrate Brown's courtroom for a small claims case. Mr. Brown continually shouted, interrupted, and treated me with extreme disrespect. I have a hearing problem and stutter, yet he made jokes about this in his courtroom. Mr. Brown did not show me any consideration or even treat me like a human being. I was extremely nervous, which is normal for a person to be nervous in court. When I was asked to give the name of my witness, Mr. Brown again shouted at me because I was nervous. I am not sure if Mr. Brown was friends with the defendant, Mr. Green, but Mr. Brown treated Mr. Green respectfully and allowed Mr. Green to read a one-page statement. When I attempted to read my written statement, Mr. Brown again interrupted me, shouted, and treated me as if I was not a human being. Mr. Brown also took excessive amounts of time pontificating about things that had nothing to do with the case – as if he was speaking just for the sake of hearing himself speak. At the end of Mr. Brown's soliloquies, he psychoanalyzed me in front of the entire courtroom, which was not only unprofessional; it was extremely humiliating and embarrassing to me. According to the Judicial Tenure’s Commission, Mr. Brown violated at least two of his Adjective Responsibilities listed in CANON 3, specifically paragraphs 3 and 10: 3. A judge should be patient, dignified, and courteous to litigants, jurors, witnesses, lawyers, and others with whom the judge deals in an official capacity, and should require similar conduct of lawyers and of staff, court officials, and others subject to the judge's direction and control. 10. Without regard to a person's race, gender, or other protected personal characteristic, a judge should treat every person fairly, with courtesy and respect. To the extent possible, a judge should require staff, court officials, and others who are subject to the judge's direction and control to provide such fair, courteous, and respectful treatment to persons who have contact with the court. These Adjunctive Responsibilities were not followed or even considered. The entire experience was unethical and unprofessional. For these reasons I am requesting to exercise my right to appeal Mr. Brown's verdict and have my case heard in front of a judge. The reason I initially cancelled my request for an appeal was because I received threatening letters and emails from the defendant, Mr. Green, telling me I would be “regret it” if I did not drop the Small Claim lawsuit. Also during this time, my apartment was burglarized (I filed a police report). I have no doubt that the defendant, Mr. Green, was involved, but I am unable to prove it. Again, for these reasons I am requesting an appeal. Thank you for your consideration.

Answer: Its a well written letter, if you have witness's or their names then include them as proof of your allegations towards the Magistrate.

Question: Can I get into trouble sending a letter to the Magistrate who heard my Small Claims case? I sued someone in Small Claims in September. The magistrate who heard the case was very old. He was very, very rude, and shouted repeatedly, and he also made fun of my hearing problem and stuttering. He was rude to my witness, and was extremely unprofessional. I have already sent a letter to the Judicial Committee in my state outlining his behavior and the adjunctive responsibilities the magistrate violated. I was thinking of sending this letter: Dear Mr. Roy: On September 16, 2010, I was a plaintiff in your courtroom for a small claims case. According to the State of Michigan Judicial Tenure Commission Code of Official Conduct, you violated at least two of your Adjunctive Responsibilities listed in CANON 3, specifically paragraphs 3 and 10: 3. A judge should be patient, dignified, and courteous to litigants, jurors, witnesses, lawyers, and others with whom the judge deals in an official capacity, and should require similar conduct of lawyers and of staff, court officials, and others subject to the judge's direction and control. 10. Without regard to a person's race, gender, or other protected personal characteristic, a judge should treat every person fairly, with courtesy and respect. To the extent possible, a judge should require staff, court officials, and others who are subject to the judge's direction and control to provide such fair, courteous, and respectful treatment to persons who have contact with the court. These Adjunctive Responsibilities were not followed or even considered. The entire experience was unethical and unprofessional. You continually shouted, interrupted, and treated my witness and me with extreme disrespect. I have a hearing problem and stutter, yet you made jokes about this in your courtroom. Mr. Roy, you did not show me any consideration or even treat me like a human being. I was extremely nervous, which is normal for a person to be nervous in court. When I was asked to give the name of my witness, you again shouted at me because I was nervous, and you were beyond rude and disrespectful to my witness, Mr. John Smith. I am not sure if you are friends with the defendant, Mr. Johnson, but you treated Mr. Johnson somewhat respectfully and allowed him to read a one-page statement. When I attempted to read my written statement, you again interrupted me, shouted, and treated me as if I was not a human being. You also took excessive amounts of time pontificating about things that had nothing to do with the case – as if you were speaking just for the sake of hearing yourself speak. At the conclusion of your many soliloquies, you had the unmitigated gall to insult me and psychoanalyze me in front of the entire courtroom, which was not only unprofessional, it was extremely humiliating and embarrassing. Your refused to look at any of the medical evidence I had from William Beaumont Hospital and three additional physicians – evidence that included X-rays, medical examinations, and letters from physicians, which verified that I did indeed suffer physical injuries due to being assaulted by the defendant, Mr. Johnson. (X-rays do not lie.) This type of courtroom behavior was atrocious and I have filed a complaint with the Judicial Committee. Sincerely, *************** Should I send the letter? I was also thinking of sending a letter to the court administrator, or perhaps the head judge? Advice, please?

Answer: Hi, Send it!!! You did a great job presenting the facts, not too many feelings, and had the code of professional conduct included to back you up. A cop told me once, "When you're the law, there is no law". It sounds like this Judge was judging outside of his realm of duty and felt it was his given right to do whatever he pleased. What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong and he was WRONG!! JOSA Addition: When a person in authority, or anyone for that matter, acts in a disrespectful manner, are we to just sit back and allow them to do so because they may have some sort of authorty over us. NO!!! Everyone in this world is accountable for their actions. When those actions are hurtful, disrespectful and rude then, you have a right to let that person know how their words and actions affected you without any ramifications. No one is exempt from being held liable for their actions and behavior. Freedom of speech goes both ways....you exercised your right to free speech. I still say...send it!

Question: how can anyone be in such a mess? ok, this situation is very complicated and within inches of an all out war. it concerns 6 people, all my friends. and i'm right in the middle of this. Aaron 28 married to Cindy but is ****ing George & Grace. Cindy 27 pregnant by Mark married to Aaron and recently come out as gay. is unashamedly racist and is a fighter. Mark 18 in college. ****ing Cindy. is George & Graces son. George & Grace married swingers both bi both 43 and very attractive. Crystal. 25 bi and pro femanist. is Cindys lover, pregnant. We think the father is Aaron but she also slept with Mark George and Grace and Cindy. This is complicated by Grace who does not like Crystal. Aaron and Mark work together and have long term business contracts. and by that Crystal doesn't care about anyone involved. Cindy does not know that crystal is pregnant to Aaron (1) Grace has threatened to divorce George if he sleeps with Crystal again (2) George is refusing to bank roll Aarons and Marks contract if he doesn't stop sleeping with Cindy (3) Aaron wants me to oversee his house sale so he can secretly fly off to California and start a new life and leave everyone behind. (4) I am a very open person and try to treat people respectfully. I don't judge, or critisize people behaviour nor will i condemn their sexual behaviour. For me a gay man is still a man and a gay woman is still a woman. So i can socialise with them all and still have fun. Problem ism the numbered items above, i have been asked to keep them secret and my friends all seem to want me to take sides. It feels like i'm being used as a pawn and being forced to make decisions i don't want to make. I would like to point out i have never slept with any of them but i love them all because they are my friends. HELLLPPPPPPPP

Answer: Your problem sounds more like a plot revue than real life. On the feint chance that it is for real, especially as humans manage to get themselves in appalling messes...... 1) Why would you tell anyone that someone else was pregnant and or by whom? So keep the secret. 2) George's divorce is not your problem unless you are their child. So tell them you don't want to hear about their sexual adventures. 3) The financing problem is not your problem unless you are involved job wise. 4) Agree to sell the house for him and take your commission- that is business not friendship. If you have script problems to sort out from that seething, writhing mess.....God help you!

Question: Finally ready to have sex for the first time.. But I don't want him to know I'm a virgin..? It's not about him- if he knew, he wouldn't judge me, so it's not that. We're not boyfriend/girlfriend, but I can trust him, and we respect eachother, so it's not like i'm having sex with him to 'keep him' or because I feel pressured to do it. I'm ready to have sex, and I feel that if I were to do it with him I'd be safe and treated respectfully. But for some reason I just would rather he not know. I guess I'm afraid it will be too intimidating... like maybe he'd not want to because he doesn't want the "responsibility" that comes with taking a girls virginity. Is there a possibility that if I were relaxed (and lubricated) he wouldn't be able to tell?

Answer: You can't really hide it because it will hurt and he'll know it. He will fill your vagina being spread. And after sex, most women bleed. Is he a virgin? Be protective.

Question: Applying for an apartment. Do I have to tell them? Do I have to tell them that the father of my child will be living with me? He is a felon and is always getting denied because of it. At the place we are living bnow, we initially both tried to apply but since he was a felon the landlord said he could not legally live there. So basically, he lived there but never had his mail go there or anything like that. When I am applying for another place, do I ahve to tell them he will be staying there if he wont be legally living there (meaning mail wont be coming to the place for him and he wont be changing his address to the new place). I just hate being judged right off the bat like that. I am an honest, hard working mother and deserve to be treated respectfully. Thanks in advance!! Rtfm... you can't be evicted without notice. That's not possible or legal.

Answer: News flash - Staying there IS legally living there! Were his mail goes has nothing to do with this!! If he sleeps there more that a few nights a week, he is legally living there! That is your first wrong assumption. ALL tenants must be screened and on the lease. If he is not approved and on the lease then it is ILLEGAL for him to live there! If you hide it and sneak him in you will just get evicted! You should have been evicted were you are now. You CANNOT just move people in with you when you rent! He is an unauthorized tenant and has no legal right to be there. The landlord has every right not to allow a felon to live in their property and you have no right to force them to. You guys are dealing with the repercussions of his past actions and just have to deal with it. You just have to keep looking and find a place he can be accepted at.

Question: Is it just me? Bad experiences in North Carolina? First of all, I mean this with all respect. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I didn't mean to. I'm from Florida but I've lived in North Carolina for years. I've met a few nice people but I felt unwelcome ever since we came here. I'd say that 90 percent of the people here are really mean. Unfriendly, snotty, cold and rude. No one else seems to have had negative experiences, but my experiences with the people here have been HORRIBLE. Every little trivial thing is blown out of proportion into a huge crisis. No one ever says Good morning, hello, thank you, or goodbye. I'm not saying that EVERYONE from North Carolina is like this, but I'm appalled at the racism and homophobia that seems to be prevalent here. People get pissed off when I speak Spanish (thought we had free speech here). Every day I hear hate speech directed toward gays, and it saddens and angers me. People make a big deal out of interracial dating. People freak out when they see a black and white couple. I don't get it. I won't date here because of my horrrible experiences with guys here. The majority here are rude, abusive even. I don't tolerate that. I've lived in two foreign countries. I studied in Mexico for a year, and I studied in Spain for a month (I studied a TEFL course which only lasts a month). I am equally in love with Spain and Mexico but for different reasons. I was blown away by the friendliness of the people in Mexico. I mean most people in Spain are nice and polite, but Mexican culture is extremely warm, loving and friendly (I lived in Cuernavaca). You walk down the street and EVERYONE says, "Buenos días!" My professors treating me respectfully and were also loving, kind. Mexican guys treated me a lot better, too. People in Mexico are much more laid back and don't tend to make a big deal out of every little thing. I did a teaching internship down there and I loved the kids. They were always telling me they loved me, etc. I'm substitute teaching now, and it's such a drag to have to put up with kids in North Carolina. I've had maybe 3 really great students but the way that 99 percent behave is atrocious. They swear, they scream, they ignore the most simple instructions, they threaten the teachers. I put up with all that crap and then the administration is so ungrateful. They never say thank you, hello, nothing. The only time they talk to me is to scream at me for something trivial like I asked the principal a question when she was busy. It's such a drag to go to a job and get treated like dog crap. People in Spain were much nicer to me than people in North Carolina too. Not everyone, but the vast majority of the people from Spain were much friendlier. The people from Barcelona aren't as "touch feely" as people from Mexico, but they're polite for the most part. I made some wonderful friends there. Spanish guys treated me like a princess. They have a lot more respect for women there, they don't swear at you. I've never been called a c*** or a b**** or been sworn at by a Spanish guy. People from the South of Spain, like "andaluces" are VERY warm and VERY loving. I'll see them and they'll be like, "Hola Guapa!!!" Some people would probably say that it's because I was a customer and had money, but I don't think that's true. When I'm a customer somewhere in North Carolina I get treated like dog crap. I mean Spain has a better quality of life than the US so why would my money be a factor? I'm back in North Carolina, and it's such a drag! Now that I've been away North Carolina seems more unfriendly and backward than ever. I realize that there are cultural differences, and that you can't really judge one culture by the standards of another, but I felt a lot more welcome in those countries. I am planning on moving to either Mexico or Spain to teach English (yeah, everyone and their dog knows it's hard for US citizens to get jobs in Spain. I don't care; I'm going to find a way). I really love my family and it makes me sad to leave them but I know I'll rot if I stay here. In spite of all this, everyone else that has been to North Carolina talks about all the wonderful experiences they had and how welcome they felt here! I've experienced rude, shitty people, ungrateful people at my job, a series of abusive guys, abusive students, etc. People are just hateful to me here. Is it just me? Has anyone else had similar experiences? I live in the Triad Area (Greensboro) I have always wished I were Hispanic. There's nothing wrong with the other cultures. I just feel that I have the heart and soul of a Hispanic person, that I was meant to be Hispanic. I understand that I'm of Irish and European Spanish ancestry. It's kind of ironic, I'm descended from someone who left Spain and came here? What the...???

Answer: I spent some time in eastern NC and found the people to be terrific. Although I was treated well, I was told by locals that outside of work the races do not mingle. The only trouble I had was the language barrier. I can now understand Eastern NC but do not speak it.

Question: Do I marry my muslim partner? Hi there, I have read quite many responses to similar questions, but my situation seems to be quite far from many of them, yet so close as my partner is Muslim. We met over a year ago. We had sex even though he said he would pray and is respecting his religion. This is quite contradictory as I am aware that Islam denies such behavior and considers it a great sin, I know he is also aware. I am not the first woman he sinned with, I am the 2nd one. So he did have sex with me and now he would like to still be with me, but due to his fear of his god (zena comes into play) he is insisting on getting married to me. What about me and my religious views, I have got none. I am not religious and I would appreciate if no one judges me or suggests to me to convert or to discover god. Do not waste your time. I am a person who has clearly defined her philosophy of life and I do not judge other and expect to not be judged in return. I am intelligent enough to know what I stand for and I am happy with my choice. The situation is as follows: I am not willing to have a muslim child, I want my child to choose its religion if any at all. I am in love and happy and I have had the best time of my life with this amazing person who makes me laugh and takes my mind away from my busy days at office, and who has shared with me happiness and sorrow. He says "I am not a very religious man, but I do respect Islam". His family is very religious and they pray 5 times a day and everything. He tried to tell them he wanted to marry a non muslim woman and they completely denied. According to him, they had this discussion a number of times. I am not that convinced, but hey - I think they are very religious. I personally do not think that marriage is so important. I am happy and being just 29, I am not yet interested in having children, not sure if I would be. I know that I cannot have kids with him, that one for sure. So he contacts me and tells me that he would like to treat me more respectfully and that me as a non Muslim would not understand that, but he would like to marry me in secret to his family, but to marry me in order to do it right before god as he believes that it s time to not be a sinner and that by marrying me he will be at least no longer a sinner to god and also would show the respect i deserve. We have agreed that we cannot have children together due to our religious differences and we are doing this in order for us to make our relationship easier and finally legal. We have also agreed to agree to a divorce should one of us request for it. I live in one country, which is not even my native country, and he lives in another one, but we cannot at the moment be together in the same country due to our careers. My question is - how could he be religious and concerned about this as a sin while for over a year he had sex with me? What do you think about our decision? What if I went to his country (Egypt) for a few months, I can allow myself to work from away for a few months a year? I know he is a kind person and loves me, and so do I, but I seem to now be a bit confused. Thanks in advance!

Answer: From your information, it appears that you already know this is not going to lead anywhere. Like it or not if you were religious it would prob makes this easier for you as you would at least have some boundaries. As for him it seems he is following tradition and has no 'relationship' with his God. His praying and family is all culture and there seems to be no moral accountability towards his God. The fact that you are discussing divorce before marriage is scary!!! Also as for marrying in secret, if this relationship was right he would marry you openly, there would be no limits. At 29 you still have the time to find someone who loves and respects you enough to marry you openly. He may be funny but so are a lot of people.

Question: "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" - differences in a relationship? I have been in a relationship with this guy for over 5 weeks now and a lot of it seems like its the love of our lives. I am middle aged (wow - did I just say that?) but think of myself as young at heart and eternally passionate. Yet, maintaining a relationship has always been a tough art to master.. So I do realize I have my blank spots and could improve. Yet I also tend to attract men, who are often exciting but to some degree challenging to be with, for me. Well this time, we do have so much to share, on such deep levels, I haven't felt this rapport in years, haven't felt so met on certain levels, like I do now. Yet - I am experiencing a lot of irritations in our day to day encounters. Its mainly the daily life habits which rub me the wrong way, I try to breathe through it, to re-frame it for myself, but the irritations remain. Ie the fact I consider myself a health freak, he smokes, eats junk food and drinks sugary drinks, is kind of messy in a way that leaves me feeling uncomfortable in his house, has a way of teasing his young daughter (whom he adores nevertheless and that is mutual) that pushes my buttons on treating kids lovingly and respectfully...what else..., associates (also) with people I judge as society drop outs...and can be, if it comes down to it, quite judgemental and rejecting about an aspect of my life I hold very precious to me and ultimately would love to share it with my partner. I have done enough psychotherapy in my life to know about the mirror theory (if I see this in another, its in me, too, in some form and thats what I need to change first). Yes I keep reflecting on that yet the fact, that these aspects continually distress me is a hindrance on our relationship. We do talk about it, we practice NVC (about meeting each others needs) but he is growing tired now that I constantly get tense about something and want to "process" it. He says he needs some days when we can just enjoy our time together. Well who can blame him!!! I tried to end our relationship a few times because of this distressing pattern but we feel the great pull of our love and desire to be together. We both feel that underneath some differences, we truly are soulmates and he already shared his vision of us being married..which I could get into fantasizing about. Anybody out there has any wisdom/ experience about such toing &froing, on resolving some profound differences of opinions in a relationship? There is much love and willingness to transform this, yet the emotional/mental exhaustion is growing... Very gratefull for your insights and sharing of your experiences, yet may I ask for some empathy and compassion. Perhaps I appear as an ungrateful ***** but to me it seems like a battle between my heart and my head, setting a desire for certain standards in life, and I do give much love and acceptance to this relationship, too.

Answer: You have put this question across very eloquently, and i understand how you must be feeling. However you have only known him for five weeks so give the relationship a chance and always remember that if you love someone, you should accept their faults as well as their endearing qualities. We all find things irritating about a partner, but if the love is there we can overlook these because in the grand scheme of things, they will only be minor things which can be improved on in the future. So instead of focusing on his faults, try taking a step back and appreciate the good things instead. I hope that your relationship will improve, i am sorry i couldn't help more but i'm at work at the moment and have to rush, good luck!

Question: Why are some mother's so judgmental? What's w/ all this crap on here. If you can't speak nicely to another mother & treat them with respect then you have serious problem. Even if you don't agree with something, you should keep your opinion to yourself. Nobody has the right to call another woman selfish for not breastfeeding & nobody has the right to judge sahm mom's or working mom's so why don't you worry about the faults you may be making with your own children & quit acting like you are so perfect. It's rude, judgmental, & disrespectful. What makes you think your opinion is the ultimate right anyway? Anyone have any feedback on my opinion feel free to speak but I would prefer if you could do it respectfully & without name-calling. After all this is the "parenting" section? & I'm assuming we are all adults not children.

Answer: "is the "parenting" section? & I'm assuming we are all adults not children." I guess teens don't get pregnant where you come from? Teens are NOT adults, they are indeed children. As for what is posted here, this is a PUBLIC forum, that means all kinds of people post all kinds of stuff here and if you don't like it maybe you shouldn't read what is posted.

Question: How many of you honestly feel it's okay? For me to believe the following beliefs: *Treat others as you would be treated *Be nice *Be generous *Relationships with other people are what make life worthwhile *The Earth is powerful and should be respected and used respectfully *Raise your children to ask questions and make their own decisions *Let others live their lives and let them let me live mine *Respect life *Respect the energy everywhere *Women and men are equal in their worth though different biologically *Religious pluralism And not believe in a male only God who sends people to hell, and not believe in judging others. Honestly, can that be okay with you? I mean if you knew me in real life. Put aside wanting to "save my soul", for our purposes say it absolutely would not work. Could you be my friend, or would you always just see me as that poor dumb girl who's destined to go to hell? How many of you can truly answer yes? Those of you who asked if I was Wiccan, I do incoporate a few things from it and probably believe many of the same things you do, but I've never considered myself Wiccan. I guess I just never learned much about it.

Answer: I honestly wish everyone was like you, kid.

Question: Is it right for my boyfriend to make this decision because of what I did? My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He had a past of cheating, but we got past that. We've also had breaks in the past too but that was due to him treating me bad. Things have been smooth for quite some time now, but he's starting to treat me bad again. He's putting his friends over me and now he never talks respectfully to me anymore. Last night we were having a serious conversation and the whole time every response he gave me was sarcastic or hurtful. Also, he wouldnt put his phone down to stop texting when I was talking to him. Not only was that extremely rude, but I bought his phone for him which made me even more angry. I was so upset by the way that he was acting that I reacted in getting on top of him and trying to take his phone away. He got really mad and left, then he called me a little later to say that he wanted a break. He said he still wanted to be with me but that he needed more time with his friends. To me, it sounds like he's going to try to find another girl while he is taking this "break" or else he would want to work things out with me. He said that we were still together although he called it a break which confuses me. And that I needed to trust that he wasn't going to mess around because he claims that he's changed. Anyways, I want to save our relationship more than anything and to make it how it used to be when it was smooth for so long. Please help me and please don't judge. This is what I want so how do I save it?

Answer: Sorry, but I don't think you're relationship is worth saving. I know it's hard to hear and I'm sorry for being so blunt, but based on all these facts you've mentioned, you're better off without him. He has no respect for you, and it sounds like you really put a lot of energy into your relationship. Well relationships are a two way street. If you stay with him, he will either cheat on you again, keep neglecting you like now, or just leave you for good. That's when your heart really gets broken. I know beause this happened to me too. I thought my boyfriend and I were meant to be and he always chose his friends over me, he always ignored me, never listened to what I had to say. Then I realized it all one day. I was nothing to him, yet I gave him everything I could. I left him and it hurt for so long, but I met the most amazing guy. He treats me like a princess. The thing that hurt most about my previous relationship was that he didn't even care that I broke it off. I know you may love your boyfriend and you've been with him for long but you can never make him love or respect you. That has to naturally come from his part. Love isn't a one way street

Question: Are we moving too fast? ( i know it's long, but i REALLY need advice!!)? So, here's my story: I met this guy through my best friend about 3 weeks ago. At the moment he seems pretty perfect, he's everything I'd want in a guy: He's cute, he's funny, he's charming, he's a gentleman. I'm 17 and he's 18 and I've never really had a serious boyfriend before. I've only ever flirted with guys, but never let anything happen. Anyway, we met about 3 weeks ago and it was me, him, my best friend and her boy friend. We hung out and played video games it was pretty chill, we got to know each other and exchanged numbers etc I challenged him to a rematch in video games a week later, cause i wanted to see him again. Loser buys ice cream :) We hung out again, I lost but he bought me ice cream anyway. After that we texted each other every day for about a week then hung out again. This time it was me, him and my best friend. We hung out for 7 straight hours and didn;t get bored of eachothers company and at the end of the night, me and him kissed. and kissed. and kissed. It was nice but awkward. (don't worry about my friend she did this to me all the time with her bf so payback haha ;) Anyway, we hung out again last night, about 4 days after that last hang out. A double date, me him my friend and her bf again. We went bowling and had a good time. But after bowling, we went back to his car and things got a little...heated. We just started kissing, but we started getting really into it and at one point we were even horizontal in the back seat. It was kind of overwhemling because i've never been in that situation before, but i liked it. His hands got a little frisky, but it was all mainly on top of my clothes. At one point, his hand went up the back of my shirt but when i stiffed up, he respectfully took his hand out. It was hott. Literally. We steamed up the windows of his car (which I found to be pretty funny. Anyway, I really need advice, i've never been in this situation before so I can't judge if we are going too fast. I have 2 types of friends, a and b: a) they are incredibly sexually open and treat sex like a fun recreational activity with random guys at parties b) they are incredibly prude and don't even kiss a guy until a couple months of dating. I love my friends but they are awful when giving dating advice. Help?

Answer: If you feel uncomfortable at any time, slow things down. The progression of your relationship has to be at a speed that's comfortable for both of you. And don't have sex with him before you guys can comfortably discuss sex. You should know if he's also a virgin and if not, if he's been tested for STDs. If you can't openly discuss it with him, you're not ready for it.

Question: What Life Lessons Have You Learned So Far In Life? So what life lessons have you learned so far in life? Please share! :) I'm also gonna share with you the life lessons I've learned so far in life: 1. No matter WHAT somebody does to you, do NOT hate them or try to get back at them in any way, as that "hate" will only further eat away at you and your soul, and will only further escalate that person's hate against YOU and will make you become an angry, bitter person in life who will someday end up all alone if you keep up the hatred & hardness in your heart. 2. WHEN somebody does something to hurt you, (be it a peer, a parent or relative, an enemy, or even a close friend), it's not about YOU, but rather about the person and their own character. And as hard as it is, forgive the person and move on with life. Your "spirit" will be SO much more happier, free-r and at peace that way. 3. Do not talk back to your parents, no matter how hurt or angry you are. You will someday live to regret it, plus they are the only set of parents on the Earth that you have and someday, they will no longer be here on this Earth and you will regret in your heart how "angry" you spoke against them, instead of taking the time to really get to know them. This ties back into #2 and 3. Even if they are cold and indifferent to you, treat them with respect at all times. Afterall, your "respectful behavior" may be the one thing that will get them to turn around. 4. If you make a mistake or two in life, so what. We all make mistakes. We are only human. 5. Don't judge someone by appearance but rather what is in their heart. This is one of the hardest things to do in life, believe me, I know. 6. Even if you don't agree with someone, speak calmly with them, instead of harshly. A calm "debater" is much more effective than an "attacking" one. 7. A person can only walk all over you with your permission. In order to get respect, you must first demand it. (If you're a woman who's waiting around for a guy to call, only YOU are to blame if the guy doesn't call. Otherwise, demonstrate to that guy that you won't be waiting around for his calls -- demanding respect -- and respect by him shall be given to you. 8. God loves ALL people and races AND is all races in one. (I had a near-death experience where Jesus was white and a good black friend of mine had a near-death experience where Jesus was black. Therefore, Jesus is all races in one). 9. Do not EVER let someone make you feel bad, stupid, or guilty for believing the bible to be 100% true. 10. No matter how tempting, DO NOT GOSSIP. It is a 3-edge sword: it hurts not only the person HEARING the gossip, but the one SPEAKING it, as well as the person BEING gossiped about. 11. Do not lie, because it'll catch up to you. (Unless ofcourse, it's for a good, protective reason: a child not telling a stranger they're home alone, or a woman protecting herself from an abusive man or the like). 12. Do not steal or keep extra change (EVEN if it's only 1 penny!) Because if just 1 penny kept you from going to heaven or hell if you were to die 2.5 seconds later (God can strike us down at ANY time, remember?), you'd return the penny, right? 13. When somebody tries to speak bad against you, just ignore them and only speak respectfully about that person. They will learn pretty quickly that trying to speak bad about you is pointless. 14. If you're a man who gets rejected by a woman or a woman who gets rejected by a man, DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY! All it means is that you're just not their type. But so what. There are plenty of fishes in the sea. 15. Do not say something UNTIL you've done the proper research on it. (I speak from a Journalistic perspective on this -- even though it's true for just about anything). 16. If you're Christian, don't be afraid to share your faith/the gospel and if you're non-Christian, don't be afraid to listen to the testimony of a Christian. You just may learn something. 17. Don't be arrogant & prideful and think you don't need anything in life. This couldn't be farther from the truth. 18. Don't envy others for envy eats away at the soul and makes you become angry and bitter. 19. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE. Ya never know if you're gonna lose it all in the blink of an eye -- like those poor people down in Australia for instance. 20. Don't hold grudges and be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Some of the most happiest people in the world follow this principle constantly. 21. Don't turn to alcohol, drugs, cutting, starving yourself, overeating, etc. to try to cure pain. Only God can cure pain. 22. God is the only thing we need in life. Everything else is just material. 23. Put God first in your life and everything else will fall into place. 24. Heaven and Hell are BOTH real (I've seen a preview of them both in a vision -- and traditional Native American wisdom says that visions never lie, ESPECIALLY spiritual ones). 25. If you got a good idea, write it down! 26. Giving is better than receiving. 27.

Answer: 1-accept who and what you are 2-accept we are all flawed, no one is perfect 3-accept that you can and are able to change some of these flaws to be a 'better person' 4-dont let anyone abuse or use you or walk all over you 5-love those who you love and who love you, with all the love you have, love is the most important thing in this life we have and have made 6-if you want to better yourself, make sure its for YOU, not because other people say your not good enough 7-dont judge yourself by societys standards, society wants perfection and nothing less, nothing else, its an impossibility, and far to stressful and a waste of your life trying to strive for soemthing like perfection 8- when soemthing is not working, and you have tried all you know how to do, you have to be ab le to accept when its time to move and and let it go, even if this is in reference to a person or a relationship 9-other peopls problems, insecurites, psychological issues, and agression is about them, (so im with you on that) its never about you, its about them not dealing with their own problems and they are not bettering themselves and they take that out on others 10-be kind, polite, respectful, as nice and good a person as you can be, but dont be abused, if you have to defend yourself, you should, we have these emotions and protections for a reason interesting q moonstar and nice name too

Question: Why do people without thought throw people into categories just because of the way they look? I am saddened by the way the USA turns there back on the homeless and each other period! I can tell you from experience, that I myself have been thrown into a category before I have even opened my mouth, just because of my skin color, yet I am educated, I have always held a good job, and I have always look past ethnicity to find out who the person is, then decided who and what they were! That goes for black, white, chinese, mexican, indian, etc I mean when 911 happened people where attacking other people who weren't even of the decent of the people that perpetrated that act! Anyone that remotely was even thought to be from that decent was treated horribly! Why are most; not everyone but most people so quick to be judge mental and quick to through people in categories just by the way they look or there skin color? I am asking RESPECTFULLY so be RESPECTFUL !

Answer: People are a product of their environment. Not everyone is capable of being wise about diversity and are not sensible enough to want to learn. The important thing is that you know better than that and that you don't contribute. You will learn to ignore people like that. There are a lot of positive people too who will look at you for who you are. Also, the US is not the only place like this. It's not the worst about it either. It's just not emphasized in the news like it should be. I don't understand why.

Question: For Men: What are you problems? (read the explanation)? I've seen tons of posts from men who think that women are being sexist by expecting to be treated equally. I also see some men who are saying that men have it bad, too. So, I want to know, why do men have it bad? What is important to note is that this isn't a forum to bash men or women. This isn't here to start a gender war. This isn't here for people to say how bullsh|t the other's answers are - be respectful. BE RESPECTFUL. (Although that seems to be a tall order judging by some of you folks). I am genuinely curious. Check your drama and personal problems at the door - they don't belong here. Your personal gripes with nasty exes or run ins with one person don't need to be here. Save that for your livejournal. Finally, I will and do report people who are downright mean and do not word their opinion constructively and respectfully. Therefore, structure your thoughts CONSTRUCTIVELY.

Answer: I don't know whether this is relevant to what you are asking or not...I certainly don't consider myself a sexist person...but I have noticed over the past year or so an influx of tv ads..that somehow seem to 'empower' women...I don't even know if that is the correct phraseology..I mean that they show women having power over/putting down or just being superior to men.... One example is of a woman who is in the bathroom with her sig. other in the shower ...while she manipulates the sink tapwater to cause a temperature change in the shower water.--implying that she does this because 'she can'...This is just an example of what I see as men being portrayed as slightly less intelligent/important than women. As far as the meat of your question goes...I was raised in a household where there were no stereotypes...my father was severly injured/incapacitated..so everyone just did whatever was necessary..there were no roles...That sometimes seems difficult for people to comprehend...take that into account with the fact that I'm a gay male and you can see why I really don't find the genders really at war with each other at all. Am I making any sense yet? Please don't report me it's only 6:13 in the morning here and I'm not operating at my peak.LOL

Question: I'm v.annoyed at how I was treated at Sainsburys tonight regarding the purchase of alcohol - what can I do? This evening I was in Sainsburys with my sister, my partner and his brother. We bought some food and then my partner and his brother proceeded to purchase a bottle of wine and some beer respectfully. At the checkout, the cashier refused to serve us until all four of us had produced a form of I.D. despite the fact that neither myself nor my sister were purchasing any alcohol. As it happened, I didn't have my handbag with me as we had only popped down to the shop for a few minutes - foolishly I had assumed I wouldn't require identification to buy some fruit, but evidently I wrong. We were in the store at 9.45 p.m. and the security guard followed me round the store, apparently suspicious that I might steal something. I feel incredibly annoyed that we might be judged in this way when we were doing nothing wrong whatsoever. The cashier was incredibly rude and refused to sell any alcohol because my sister produced a student card as a form of I.D. which she found unacceptable and because I had no identification at all. Myself, my sister, my partner and his brother are all aged 22, 24, 24, and 21 respectfully. I feel quite angry at this apparently new rule of Sainsburys and have read online that a man in Melksham was unable to purchase a bottle of wine with his grocery shopping because his teenage son was with him. Is that not completely ridiculous? This evening, after pointlessly explaining to the cashier that neither my sister nor I were drinking any alcohol, I simply said that we would leave - so we went and stood outside the store for five minutes and the cashier agreed to serve my partner and his brother. What on earth is the point of this new rule then? How can Sainsburys demand I.D. from people who are not even purchasing alcohol? Is this legal? Does this mean that parents can no longer shop with their children who will obviously not have identification? The whole thing is completely absurd and tonight I was treated with obvious and unnecessary disrespect. I'd like to submit a complaint about it. Does anyone know anything more about this?? Anyone experienced this also?

Answer: I'm shocked at this . Especially the story of the man in Melksham, it is just ridiculous, and absurd. I am all against the sale of cigarettes and alcohol to under age people, but to refuse to sell to someone of legal age, just because they have a minor in their company, is stretching it to satire of the highest level. If there was a sketch show of this in a comedy programme, it would be seen as hilarious. The fact it is real, makes it all the more surreal. I would complain, but no doubt the supermarket has their policy blurb at the ready, so you may be wasting your time. It is total nanny state-ism , just like not being able to buy more than 12 paracetamol at the same time. While there is nothing to stop you going into another shop and buying another packet, if you wanted to overdose on them.! It just raises the whole issue of common sense being thrown away in favour of belligerent rules and regulations. I'm an adult, I think I can decide how many bottles of wine I want, if I want to smoke and if I need pain killers. I don't think I need to read the latest government shock leaflet to decide on that.

Question: My mom's a fricking Lysol ad? SO far, my mom is still stuck in the stone age. Granted she lived in a time where a person is put down by society if his front porch isn't scrubbed by his wife every morning; that it's normal if a husband blames his wife for being infertile, even if frequent visits to the medic left them with an opposite conclusion. Everyone looks the other way if a 38 year old man courts an 11 year old, and if they were engaged, the girl is separated from her age group and expected to take on the behaviour of the other housewives. That aside, we're in britain now. Dust doens't kill anyone, and cleaning the ceiling with a mop dripping with bleach is something unheard of. But blaming a 15 year old for 'causing' white blemishes on a WHITE toilet seat and shouting at her for ruining it is RIDICULOUS. She's been cleaning that damn thing for two days now, with sponges and a bottle of Mr. Clean. Everytime the weekend comes, bam, we have to start making the whole house shine. We've dusted the whole house, vaccuumed, scrubbed and swept for all the weekend. Of course, she hardly does any of that as mom is now pushing 50 and finds it hard enough for some reason going out and buying food and necessities and doing laundry. We don't eat that much, we're only a litter of 3, and you don't have a job either. The kids come home from school usually at 6, so we're ALWAYS out of the way. She's also prone to dramatic reactions at even a T-shirt; to the extent where I try to use one pair of socks for a whole week, since she always throw a hissy-fit if someone presents her a pair of socks they just wore for a day. Disgusting, I know, but something's you have to keep a person from screaming at you and everybody else afterwards. Yesterday she gave my little sister HELL for the toilet seat. That it's not completely the same shade of white as it used to be or something, and that means she screwed it up when cleaning and forever ruined it because it's OMG so expensive and only lasted a year. SO it caused my mother to shoot her horror stories that if she doesn't brush up her act, she will never be able to have a serious boyfriend, or if she does get married, that man will slap her around and ultimately leave her for being a PIG. Now, I know she's old enough to not take it seriously. But even I was very much affected by it after almost going through this my whole life. I continuosly felt like I was being judged, and I'm fearing that she's trying to break my sister in thinking the same way. Having gone further out and meeting more people around britain, I now know more about people and how they're more casual about home life than in my family. Even keeping a house literally shining isn't the main reason how a couple stays together. And abusive spouses are not supposed to tolerated; actually. My main gripe is that my mother is making all of our lives unnecessarily hard and embarassing. She even takes it to public, and she's so self-righteous she more than once insulted people for telling how disgusting or filthy they are. Especially to the mothers of our own friends. She even snaps at people for actual facts, like when I admitted that I didn't have a hymen to start with (I checked when I was young, curious and a virgin) she shouted me down for lying at her despite that I even showed her evidence from articles and medical books. She even did so to my friend who once recalled her time in Cairo when she was spat at by random people. She had respectfully wore long-sleeves in the middle of june, and looking at her you wouldn't think she behaves like an a.ss. But my mother actually replied, "Well, it's always you english that drink and insult everyone." It was shocking and I was furious. She was patronizing, impersonal, and treated all my friends by keeping them at an arm's length. Thanks to her I have a twisted love/hate relationship with her (she'd make you cry, and then she'd either laugh at the look on your face or go "Come on, give your mom a hug and run along"), and it's hard getting a job and moving out as everything is expensive and I'm under debt with tuition fee loans. SO I still depend on her and can't move out. I can try to slowly influence her to see a psychiatrist, or maybe try to be more honest with her by telling she's turning into nothing but a lazy hag that talks like she had tourettes. Right now her younger children are going through the stress to finish high school with good grades so they can get to college, and it's not helping them dragging them down just to serve her. Especially giving them the wrong idea of relationships or marriage. Edit: Yes, I know this is gonna cause the eyes to bleed reading this long story. Sorry. The issue with the toilet seat was basically that my sister is being blamed for stripping the white coating off the seat while cleaning it. Apparently the white paint(or whatever it is) is being slowly scraped off by a sponge and watered-down Mr. Clean.

Answer: Wow, you really had alot to get off your chest! That's ok, my mother was really difficult as well when I was younger. It's nigh impossible to change someone who thinks they are right 100% of the time and it would be a waste of effort that is better spent on your own life. You can put up boundaries to her bad behaviour-you don't have to put up with it, but it's harder to do so while still living at home. Perhaps you could just keep trying for a job, no matter even if it's working stocking shelves at a supermarket(lol @ own job). Don't give up hey? Your bad situation won't last forever. Ps- If your mother doesn't like the way the toilet seat is cleaned then she should get off her butt and do it herself. Her whinging over something that done and gone is a waste of time.