Foster Children

Question: Foster children...? I have had it on my heart to become a foster parent and it's been on my heart for a long time. I finally picked up the phone and called the children's aid society and they'd like me to come for orientation on Monday. Any advice for me if I do become a foster parent? I'm a singlemom with a 7 year old daughter, if that info helps. Thanks.

Answer: That's awesome!!!! I know a lady who originally did foster care and now has two adopted sons! Make them feel as welcome as possible (whether baby or older) and show them that no matter what they do wrong or right you will always love them. Don't treat them extra special, becuase that might make your daughter feel left out, but treat them both equally. Good luck!!!!

Question: Foster Children? I have 4 boys and 3 are foster children. I am adopting 2 of them. I love them so much and want tons more. Am I crazy for that? Wow some people are so rude and think they are better then you. I am adopting these children for all the right reasons. I love children and they deserve the best in life

Answer: The anti adoption sentiments are unfair. Ignore them. The children in foster care often have no place else to go. I too have adopted children out of foster care (2 girls) and am planning to adopt more. These are wonderful kids that deserve what every other child has...a family. One that will love them unconditionally, kiss them good night, will show up for parent teacher conferences and make them do their homework. The more work with children in foster care and volunteer with places like the adoption exchange, the more I want to adopt more children. These children are often misunderstood and difficult to parent, but watching their eyes light up as they discover the world is not all cruel is wonderful. So long as you have the love, patience and financial security to adopt children out of foster care, you should go for it!

Question: Do foster children in Canada have a right to sue Social Services Agencies for placement in unsafe homes? I would like to compare Canada's laws to the U.S's laws on the matter. In the U.S., foster children have a constituional right to safety, but Circuit courts are split over what sort of behavior on the part of the agencies would violate a child’s rights. Have foster children in Canada been successful in lawsuits against agencies or foster parents? What about in Australia or England or France?

Answer: They can file and have filed. My boss is representing a client right now who is suing the CFS and her old foster parent as she alleges that he sexually abused her. (Manitoba Laws) She complained to CFS as a teen and was told she could stay with him or go to some other home which could be worse. There are now several other people who have come forward that were in this persons care and allege abuse. Whether she will be successful in either claim I am unsure, but you sure can file a claim.

Question: Can two unwed adults foster children in their home? I have been trying all day to contact someone to get information regarding foster parenting all day but the office will not answer the phone. I've also been searching online this whole time and cannot find information regarding it--so here goes. Do you if most states will not allow two unwed adults to watch over foster children in their home? I am not married but I live with my significant other and we have everything to meet the criteria for fostering. We just are unwed yet not single. Help? We live in South Carolina.

Answer: yes, individuals and couples can so they will most likely just screen you as 2 individuals. i found a site that seems to spell everything out, so check that out and keep trying to get someone on the phone or just go into one of thier offices. "What is required to become a foster parent? •Complete 14 hours of training through the department. Additional training is required for specialized foster parents. •Complete application with a foster home licensing specialist. •Undergo criminal background check, finger printing and check of the Central Registries of Abuse and Neglect for all household member 18 years and older. •Provide three references from those who have known the prospective foster parent for at least three years. •Submit current medical reports for all family members in the home. •Pass fire and heath department inspections of the home. •Demonstrate financial and emotional stability, responsibility and a willingness to work closely with the agency. •Not use corporal punishment. •May be licensed to care for up to 5 children at a time (total of all children under age 18 not to exceed 5 including their own children); no more than 2 under age 1. •Agree to keep all information shared confidential"

Question: Do foster children ever go back to their homes for Christmas? I'm writing a short story about these three foster children, and I was just wondering how likely it would be for foster children to go back to their homes for Christmas. For example, if they were living with a foster parent who lived near their actual parents, what are the chances that the foster children could go and see their actual parents on Christmas? Thanks so much. All answers appreciated.

Answer: We have two children in our care who were allowed to spend some time on Christmas Day with their parent. Sometimes visits are supervised, sometimes not. It depends on the situation.

Question: Is it legal to homeschool foster children? Hi, I have often thought about the possibility of taking on a foster child or two. I don't have any children of my own and I would love to help these children who have lived such tragic lives and try and help them "make it through". The question I have is if it would be legal to homeschool them. You see, if I had my own children, I would homeschool them and I really believe it is a good option in most cases. I just don't know if there are any rules in regards to schooling for foster children. I would think that it could be beneficial for a lot of them, because it seems like a lot of them are also having trouble in school and could really use some of the more one on one time to help them with their academics. Anyone with information on this subject, I would really appreciate light you could shed. Thank you.

Answer: I used to be a social worker [LONG time ago!] and there was one foster family hs'ing; they hs'ed because this particular foster child was missing one arm and was VERY SMART, and had the twin school problems of being made fun of and not being academically challenged. At the time, hs'ing was nearly unheard of. This is just a GUESS, but I would guess that with the rise in the hs movement, that each agency has a set policy about hs'ing. You would need to check with the agency you plan to be licensed with to see what their policy is. Also, many of the foster care placements are short-term, and I am thinking it would be VERY EXPENSIVE to keep buying curricula; I am thinking [could be wrong here] that if you are allowed to hs a foster child, that you would not be allowed to use unit studies, unschooling, multi-age teaching, or material from a Christian publisher. I am 'just guessing' that you would have to use grade-specific material, or use the same stuff that the local ps is using. I would think, as a parent and former social worker,that if a child is removed from his natural parents' home, that it would be less traumatic to go to a foster home and be hs'ed there, rather than changing homes AND changing schools. HOWEVER. I would think that the average foster care agency would say that the child is used to attending school and that it would be less traumatic for the child to keep attending, even though in most cases the child goes to a different school [in spite of the rhetoric you hear about trying to keep kids in the same school district, it is the actual opposite - the foster care agency does NOT want the natural parent meeting the foster parent with their kid in Walmart, so they try to put the child in a different area].

Question: What type of health care do foster children receive? Do insurance companies cover foster children? What if the child has a pre-existing condition? Can he or she be denied or dropped?

Answer: They are usually covered by medicaid. Since the state is picking up the tab,I doubt they would be denied care or dropped from coverage.

Question: Why do foster children have trouble staying in contact with their siblings? I'm doing a persuasive speech about why you should adopt foster children and I keep hearing stories of how children in the foster system have an extremely hard time keeping connected to their siblings. Many of them are not even allowed to call them. Why would this be?

Answer: I am not certain of all the reasons that foster children aren't allowed to call siblings. Sometimes it is because the foster child is not allowed contact with the parent and the other children are still with the parent. Sometimes it is because the foster child is considered to have a bad influence or a de-stabilizing effect on the other children. Even if the children are allowed to see each other, it is hard to maintain good contact. If they are in different homes, they start growing apart because they are leading different lives. They may be able to call their siblings, but how often they do that depends on the kids. It also depends on whether the call is long distance/what the foster parent can afford. In a perfect world foster parents and social workers would be arranging for the children to have visits with each other. In my experience, foster parents don't put a lot of effort into this. Social workers, unfortunately, are often lazy and avoid responsibilities. I would like to give social workers more credit and say that they are overworked. However, I have met enough people who worked with social workers who said they are basically just hanging out in the office talking to co-workers and letting their phones ring off the hook. I work with troubled teens, many of whom have experienced foster care. It is fairly normal for them to be forbidden contact with siblings because of their behaviors.

Question: I have a heart for foster children. I want a career in helping foster children, being around them. Any ideas? I already volunteer at a summer camp for foster children, but I want to do something more. I'll need it to be a career because I can not financially dedicate all my time to volunteering, or be a foster parent. Does anyone know of a job that would work for me?

Answer: Being a foster parent is great. My husband and I decided to open up a group home for underprivileged children. I don't know what your credit looks like, but try finding some sources in your area that would be willing to sponsor you financially to open up a group home or even get started into one. Your local Social Services Department will be able to provide you with information on Group Homes in your area. Maybe start working at one of the existing homes and build from there. Hope this helps.

Question: How are children in foster homes treated? I'm writing a novel on a teenage girl who lives in a foster home. The problem is, there really isn't that much information out there on how the children are treated or what they're able to do! I just need some answers. For example, Are they allowed to have jobs? Get their license (I'm assuming no, since they don't have their real parents to sign for them...)? Be at home alone without their foster parent(s)? Are there curfews or other certains rules that apply to foster children? Anything helps. Thank you!

Answer: If you're in the USA, foster children are not allowed to have more than $1,000 in saving i believe. If they do, they have to pay for their own care. It's barbaric. I challenge anyone at 18 to get an apartment, job, food, college with $1,000. They are allowed to have jobs, but there's really not point as they can't save any money. Licence is not a problem, as the foster parents act as legal guardians. Curfews and other rules depend on the situation. Group homes have different rules to foster homes, each one is different. Try contacting your local council and see if you can talk to some foster kids in Private. The parent will tell you what they want you to hear, only the good things. The kids will tell you the truth. It's hard, cruel, lonely and such small things matter so much.

Question: What degree would be helpful if I want to work with foster children and orphans and what are the jobs called? I want to coach, counsel, and or mentor foster children and orphans. What type of job is it called for people that do that or what type of jobs do that?

Answer: You might variously want a BSW (Bachelor of Social Work) degree or an early childhood education degree or a psychology degree

Question: How long is reasonable amount of time for reunification of foster children? Older children in the foster care system have reported to have spent large portions of their childhood in care with multiple placements. I ask then what reasonable time limits should be placed on reunification. Is it fair to leave young children to languish for years because we want to keep children with their mothers?

Answer: Actually, I agree with BOTZ. But, there are two components to this: 1) Kids are in the system because the Family Court is a ******* joke. Bio-parents that have abused their children are given TOO many chances to get themselves together. And it is usually at the child's expense. Most laws state that if the bio-parent's don't get it together within 15 months, TPR can occur. But, "any movement" could be something simple... like one part of their case plan. 2) The bigger problem and why kids are bouncing around is because NO ONE WANTS older kids. Everyone wants to adopt babies. No-body wants to adopt kids older than 5...."they are damaged goods," "they have problems," "they need therapy for life," etc etc I was 7 and was never adopted...I had a brother who was 5 and never adopted. TOO OLD. Instead we bounced around from foster home to group home to foster home for many years. It has more to do with those wanting to adopt than the issues about reunification. 50-60% of children are re-unified with their bio-parents. About 10% go into Kinship care. The remaining...some are adopted (the young ones) and the rest bounce around. NO offense to anyone...but even here at Y/A...most people that adopted out of foster care adopted babies or those younger than 2-3. Older kids are screwed. So the question becomes: Trauma from bouncing around in foster care or trauma from bio-parents...which is worse???

Question: Where can I donate new toys for foster children in Philadelphia? I would love to donate them to foster children or homeless children in the Philly area. Does anyone know of an organization that's accepting them? Yes, they're brand new!

Answer: Toys for Tots or call your local office of Social Services

Question: Where can I find a good site to foster children? I can not find a good site to find foster children! Please help!

Answer: Call you local Orphanage. Or one somewhere near where you live. They may be able to help you. You could think of joining Big Brothers and Big Sisters. They are always looking for people to help

Question: Is there anyway to help foster children other than adopt? I would love to help children who have no home. What can I do besides foster or adopt? Are there other options?

Answer: YES! You can become a Big Sister with Big Sisters/Big Brothers! It's like fostering on a more temporary basis -- a few hours a week. Or, you can volunteer with an agency that places foster children.....Do respite care which is only for a few days or weeks at a time. Or, volunteer with the state for adoption day events or parties or school drives, sorting through school clothes. Hope this helps!

Question: How would I find a Philanthropist willing to give to single mother building/purchase home for foster children? I'm a single mother who wants to build or purchase a home/farm to provide a safe home for foster children. It would include horses, which they would learn to care for and develop responsibility and a love for something.

Answer: There are foster homes that already have such to offer. You could try to get a grant after you have the children. You could move to a low cost location such as Kinston, NC where you could buy a nice double wide for under 90k with large lot..so the children would have a nice safe place to play.

Question: What kind of jobs specialize in working with foster children and orphans because that's what I want to do? I want to counsel, coach, mentor and or help foster children and orphans.

Answer: Social worker, caseworker.

Question: What kind of discipline do you suggest with foster children? They are out of control and nothing seems to work My sister has 2 boys she in the process of adopting. They are only 5 and 6. Their behavior is out of control. She is an awesome mom but nothing she does with them phases them what so ever. People look at her as if she isn't parenting them well but they don't know that these children are in foster care and she can't spank them, she is doing all that she can. These boys have been through more in their short little lives than I have in my life of 30 years. Please help with some advice.

Answer: What is their background? If they come from an abusive environment she definitely needs to steer clear of 'fear' tactics such as threatening (not that I'm suggesting she does that). She needs to be completely consistent with them. The one thing that ALL children in foster care have lacked is routine, consistency and stability. She needs to give these children time to realise that they are loved and protected no matter what. It's more than likely that the children are testing your sister to see how much she will tolerate from them and how much she really cares. You have to understand that these children have actively learnt to distrust people, and it's terrifying for them to allow themselves to attach to a parent until they can be sure that they're not going to be sent away. She should sit down with the boys (make a time one day, an hour or so) and talk to them about house rules. These children feel very displaced, so making the effort to talk to them about how they are a part of the family and have a right to participate in some decisions will make a big difference to them. Have the boys decide, with their foster parents, what behaviours are off-limits and why. Help them understand that the goal of their foster parents is to keep them safe and happy, and to help them make good choices. She should also talk with them about the consequences to their actions. Tell the boys that if they are disrespectful of property, for example, they'll lose their toys and priveliges for a set amount of time. Explain that if they're behaving badly in public or around other people, they will be removed from the situation until they are ready to behave in a polite way around the rest of the family. I would steer clear of too many warnings. Once the children have well established the bounderies, and understand that innappropriate behaviour won't be tolerated, your sister needs to work on consistant discipline. One warning to give them a chance to correct their behaviour, and if they don't it's time to follow through on the discipline. Persistance is the key here. However much the children push, she needs to be firm and stand her ground. I know it's hard and seems to take a long time, but you can't undo years of learnt behaviour overnight. It might also be a good idea to consider counselling, both for the children and the family. Some problems can't be solved by good parenting alone, and many children in foster care have traumas and issues that have built up to real behavioural disorders. She should talk to her case worker aobut the concerns she has and see what can be done for the children. Good luck to your sister!

Question: What is it like to have foster children? Me and my husband are about to start training for to become foster parents and we don't have any children of our own. We have been TTC for 8 yrs with no luck but I would like know about what all is involved and any experiences that anyone would like to share.

Answer: Yes, I have been a foster parent. We only had one child when we stared, then got pregnant w/#2, so did not renew our liscence, but I will probably do it again in the future when our kids are older. I alos used to work at an adoption/foster care agancy, so I have seen it all. If you want to do foster care w/the possibility of adoption, make that clear to your worker. Some children's parents rights will be terminated; that makes those kids avail for adoption (TPR). But if the plan is to have them reunited w/thier family, those children will not be avail. for adoption and you will just foster them until them can re reunited. The child's plan may not always be known, but at some point it will. Also, in most states, if you do foster-to-adopt and end up w/ a successful adoption, you MAY continue to receive a monthly payment for that child, even after the apotion is final. However, if you do straight adoption, this will not occur. Can you love a foster child like your own, absolutley!! No, there is not always a bond, but that is normal too. I was adopted as a baby, so know that parents are who raise you, not who births you. Also, if you are willing to adopt an older child, you would be doing probably one of the most self-less things a person can do. Most people want to adopt the babies, but you'll wait years for them. Older children often age-out of the system, w/no home to call "home". They don't have a chance. Another great idea would be to go for a sibling group...keeping them togeher is another blessing. But if you are only intersed in fostering for now, go for it, arms wide open. But don't expect too much from the kids, this is often very difficult and strange for them. Just offer them a warm, loving home, be availabel if they do want to talk. It's hard work, the payment stinks, but the rewards are priceless. Kudos to you and your husband!

Question: do you have to become foster parents first in order to adopt foster children? or is it just a matter of backgrounds checks and things like that to make sure that you are fit to be parents? I would just like to know how to go about adopting foster children. There are 2 little boys in foster care that need permanent homes. Their foster parents do not plan to adopt them. I would love to. FYI...I have 3 children of my own.

Answer: In TX, you don't have to foster in order to adopt. However, you do need to go through classes and meet other requirements in order to become an adoptive home - sometimes the process takes up to a year, depending on the agency and where you've lived (need to do background checks from every state you lived in). The State will look for an adoptive home for these children IF their parents' rights have been terminated. If no termination occurs, these children will NOT be available for adoption, but may need a long-term foster placement. If the State determines the need to find an adoptive home, the State will obtain several homestudies of interested families, then choose who they think will be best for these children. I've inquired about several children, and have had our homestudy sent for consideration, but have not been chosen as the adoptive family for them - not because we are a bad family, but because they thought another family would be a better match. That would be very hard if you had a specific set of children in mind. I'd talk to the foster parents, then talk to the children's worker (if they will even talk to you). Find out if parental rights have been terminated (and whether continued visitation is part of the relinquishment or termination proceeding). There is a lot to think about - especially behaviors, needs, etc. if you have children already in your home - can you provide everything these children TRULY need (you won't know everything until you are chosen as a adoptive family). In order to be an adoptive parent in TX of a foster child, here are the steps: (1) background criminal & cps checks, including fingerprinting (2) 34 hours of parenting classes (3) Lots and lots of paperwork turned in to cps (4) fire & health inspection of your home (5) CPR & first aid certificates; tb test (6) pass homestudy (7) have at least 40 square feet of bedroom space for each child - with no less than 80 total square feet per room; (8) agree to all the agency's minimum standards (no spanking, for instance, until after consumation of the adoption - and even then it's not a good idea); (9) know how to find services for the children - take them to therapists, advocate for them in school, etc. (10) TALK TO YOUR CURRENT FAMILY ABOUT THE MAJOR IMPACT ON YOUR FAMILY IN BRINGING MORE CHILDREN INTO YOUR HOME. Hope I didn't forget anything, but that's the basics.